Undeterred, Islanders Players Plan Their Own Viewing Party

By Artistry

When the New York Islanders organization finally yielded on Thursday to the NHL's strong suggestion that the team not have a great big party to celebrate one of the more disgraceful episodes in modern NHL history, Islanders players refused to take the news lying down.

"That was the highlight of my whole life," Matt Martin said of the February 11, 2011 game against Pittsburgh, when he and a bunch of his teammates turned a hockey game into WWE Smackdown Royal Rumble. "When I heard the team was having an official viewing party to let everybody relive that moment when I attacked Max Talbot from behind, I invited family and friends from around the world. I got a block of rooms at the Marriott Courtyard.  Now what?"

Pride of Long Island

"I'll tell you now what," said smallish call-up goon Michael Haley, who so bravely challenged Pens goalie Brent Johnson to fight during the Smackdown game.  "If the team is caving to league pressure not to show the game, we're moving this party to my place."

"You live in a studio apartment in Bridgeport, CT," observed mutant experiment Trevor Gillies, who took a running leap at Eric Tangradi's head during the game in question. "I think you were just called up just for like that one game. You expect us and all of our fans to move our big viewing party - the offseason staple of the New York Islanders - to the home of our AHL farm team?"

"I think that sounds appropriate," said Penguins GM Ray Shero, with characteristic diplomacy.