Experimenting with Eye Contact

Roissy posts on eye contact:

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Try holding eye contact as long as possible with random men and women. Assume a relaxed or smiling expression so that you aren’t mistaken for an angry commuter having a bad day. Start by doing it with people passing you on the sidewalk going the opposite direction, so you know an end to the discomfort is not long off. Even in those walk-by sidewalk situations, where a mere few seconds of eye lock is all that’s required of you, you’ll find it difficult to hold a stranger’s eyes for longer than a split second. The difficulty level will go up if your eye partner is a hot girl or a dominant man meeting you pupil a pupil.

After a few days of this, something almost magical happens. You notice that men break eye contact before you do, and look to the ground. Forced to look up at you (most will be shorter than you), women return your gaze hungrily, uneasily, wonderment gripping their facial expressions, and if your vision is sharp enough you can make out a nearly imperceptible parting of their lips. You begin to feel dominant. And that feeling translates into real dominance and an attitudinal shift, for above all the thing that is attractive about alpha males is their attitude.

This comes at a good time. Due to a Badger linking to Ricky Raw's 31 Days of Game, I started an informal experiment in eye contact. The Art of Manliness posted on the subject as well and their article was insightful and encouraging. Over the past three weeks I have learned some important things:

-Consciously making eye contact is not comfortable. The first few days I would feel a jolt of adrenaline when locking eyes. Guys and hot women were the worst. The instinct to look away is powerful. I can push through it now and they look away, but the discomfort is still there. After all, there are not very many people who want to make extended eye contact with a stranger.

-Women maintain eye contact more willingly then I would have guessed. Initially, as long as my gaze was unwavering and nonthreatening, they would lock gaze with a curious expression on their face. Lately, the curiosity gives way to what looks like interest.

-Hot girls are harder to lock eyes with. More often than not, I give a nervous smile a second after they see me, which kills the effect. The desire to placate someone of higher value is strong, and you do not just toss out decades of submissive behavior overnight. I am still working on this one.

-Eye contact often elicits friendly responses from women. I do not even have to smile. Some hold gaze longer than necessary, some smile, some say hello. My favorite response so far was a surprised double take, punctuated by a smile.

-Locking gaze with dominant guys is nerve wracking. I know that confrontation is unlikely, but when I hold eye contact with someone who is clearly more violent it feels like a mistake. The tension is immediate. There have been some times when I felt it would be prudent to break gaze first. I have not yet tried the deliberate-blink-then-look-away move since I think it would be wise to have some muscle and training under my belt before I start deliberately pissing people off.

-I have not seen any disgust on women's faces, which would their response if they judged me creepy. The concern that eye contact can be perceived as creepy is a little overstated. However, you need to have some sort of human response to ease the intensity. A small smile away after they do, softens the of eye contact and makes things less threatening. You cannot help the fact that some people will think you are creepy, and the point is to learn how to give confident eye contact, not worry what others think.

-Getting submissive responses from men and women is confidence boosting. When a girl looks down, or better, looks down and smiles, I feel a small but noticeable boost to my ego. The effect is similar when guys look away. This, I think, is the most interesting thing I have learned from this: men are meant to be dominant. I feel good when I act dominant. I feel good when I add to my objective value. The modern trend to feminize men is not conducive to their happiness. Even the most pathetic omega male feels in his bones the need to be a man, and suppressing that feeling is a recipe for unhappiness. It seems that the more I fight this submissive behavior the happier I get. Even the smallest change, such as eye contact, can be a positive one.