Gun up

I've been thinking about the bad boy thing versus the nerd thing, and was wondering why I never seemed to take any sort of nerd hit even when women found out that I was not only a hard core gamer, but actually developed games and wrote reviews of them. Then I realized what it was. It was the AK-47 under the bed. Or maybe the AR-15. Or perhaps the SKS. Or the twin-barrel 20-gauge.

The point is, one of the best ways for a man to exhibit some undeniable bad boy credentials is to own a few firearms and shoot well. And women love going to the gun range; even women who are vehemently anti-gun will not only agree to go, but will usually love it. You can see that their physical reaction to guns going off in their vicinity is almost sexual. Even the most mild-mannered, sweater-wearing milksop will tend go up considerably in a woman's eyes when he puts together a close grouping at the maximum range and the guys on the lanes on either side of him are spraying wildly at targets set up at one-third the range.

Think about how many movies concern around women getting turned on by the guy who says he's a secret agent and shows her a gun. Think about why women love men in uniform and what that represents. Then think about how much more powerfully attractive it is when she knows, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that you're easily capable of shooting out both eyes of the loudmouthed poser with the motorcycle from the other side of the room.

So, buy at least two pistols, one 9mm and one .40 or .357, and learn how to use them reasonably well. It's an easy way to arrange a date too, as you can simply mention that you're going to the range and ask if she wants to join you. If she's worried or a little nervous about the idea, just reassure her that she doesn't have to use the big scary gun, she can use the cute little one. There are few DHVs like her hearing a pop-pop-pop when she shoots, then hearing you firing bang-bang-bang. But don't overdo it. Not only does .50 caliber smack of Freudian issues, but hearing one go off in the next lane can give even the most experienced male shooter heart palpitations. Girls find guns sexy, but they're not so keen on quasi-artillery.