Scenes From A Poorly Acted Wrestling Class Struggle

I know that I usually don't write about political issues, or wrestling for that matter, but some recent storyline events in the WWE making a veiled reference to the Occupy Wall Street protest movement stirred me enough to write something about it.

So you have been forwarned about the following wresting-related post.

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Wrestling tells morality tales, stories where the audience generally wants the wrestlers who represent good values to triumph over those who represent evil.

In general, good values in wrestling are working class, middle America values. Honesty and integrity, working hard to get ahead and playing by the rules are for the most part what defines someone who the audience is supposed to root for. The fact that earlier in the evolution of wrestling, quite a few wrestlers had gimmicks based on their day jobs, like police officers, prison guard, an undertaker, hog farmers and the like also lends itself to this kind of interpretation.

And when you are setting up a wrestler as a heel, one of the easiest ways to do it is to simply tell the audience that they are wealthy. That wrestler doesn't even have to do anything particularly heelish on their debut. Just the fact they are rich basically sells the audience on the fact that they are on the wrong side of things.

Wealth is one of those things which is a quick way of indicating that a wrestler is supposed to think he is better than you. Cheating and underhanded tactics naturally go along with being rich, because that's how the rich stay rich, which is an argument that is well supported by the countless stories of fraud, misrepresentation and shady business practices that have arisen as journalists investigate the global financial crisis and the failure of companies like Enron and Worldcom.

Let's take a quick look at some of the wealthy characters the WWE has given us in the past:

The Million Dollar Man: Ted Dibiase is the reason I am writing article. I remember him as one of the seminal heel characters from my childhood. He was a southern character who had a black manservant, couldn't win a real title belt, so he had one made for himself and he allied himself with IRS to form Money Inc., and one of his catch phrases was "Everybody has a price." And the public was supposed to hate him, and they did.

JBL: He made a fortune on Wall Street (for real too). Part of his entrance in a limousine, and used his wealth to hire other wrestlers to protect him. Who could forget when Shawn Michaels lost everything in the global financial crisis, and JBL bailed him out with the condition that Michaels would have to do his personal bidding to help him win the Heavyweight championship. Again, a character the public was supposed to hate, and did.

MVP: Wealth, in the form of his supposedly record setting contract was just a part of this character's heel persona, I admit, but it was still one of those elements which was used to set him up as a villain. After the character's heel/face turn, his wealth was never really brought up again, instead there was a greater emphasis on his humble origins and being an ex-con and how he turned his life around.

Alberto Del Rio: An arrogant, wealthy Mexican aristocratic character who is driven to ringside in an expensive car and has a personal ring announcer. That description alone makes him a heel based on precedence alone.

Vince McMahon: Do I really need to explain this one, though wealth is again, only part of the character's heelish nature, since he also has power which he exploits to his own ends, but that is also in keeping with the general idea of being easy to hate for being himself and his actions, many of which involved money or corporate interests, though his schemes were more often than not foiled by Stone Cold, the anti-hero which was arguably very much working class. And there was the Battle of the Billionaires, which really, was supposed to be win/win for the viewing public since at least one rich person would be humiliated.

Triple H: Oh, so many reasons. He was introduced to the WWE as the Connecticut Blue Blood and though that character morphed into the Triple H we are familiar with. Again, we have a character who started as an arrogant aristocrat, married into the McMahon family and both kayfabe and in real life used that influence to his own benefit, including becoming the COO of the WWE.

Now, I left Triple H until the very end for a very good reason.

Basically the situation that was being presented on Monday Night Raw was the onscreen and behind the scenes talent taking strike action against the management of the WWE to remove Triple H from his role as the COO of the company.

The way the narrative was written and supposed to have been interpreted, in the most bizarre of twists, Triple H as a member of management was being cast as the hero while those who walked out were the villains. And because John Cena, Sheamus and CM Punk joined Triple H in showing up to compete, they were supposed to be heroic as well.

That is not the narrative that I took from Monday nights events. Triple H was a management jerk who was belittling the concerns of the talent he was in charge of, and Cena, Sheamus and Punk were scabs who were also taking shots at their colleagues who were fighting for something which benefited them all. John Cena discussed his motto, and claimed he was loyal to the company, when he should have shown loyalty and respect to his coworkers, men and women who asked him for his support and solidarity with their cause. But it was CM Punk's betrayal that I feltwas so much worse because his opposition to the walkout seems to go against everything his character has been saying and doing the past few months. He seemed like the character who would stand with not only his coworkers, but perhaps stand in solidarity with those in the Occupy Wall Street movement.

In the scenario that the WWE has now created, Cena, Sheamus and Punk, three of the company's top faces are now heels along with Triple H, which would fit with nearly every rendition of strike action or walkout on television drama or in the movies, since that is how that particular kind of story is told. Management is traditionally and rightfully the antagonist in those stories.

The overall point of the segment was to set up those four figures as a team against a backstage conspiracy, but there were better, less heavy-handed ways of doing so, because even without the anti-union/protest sentiment, it was a clumsy and badly planned storyline element, since the company still had to record an episode of Smackdown and do house shows after the initial walkout, which didn't make any sense after that.

I know that wrestling is based on people who are supposed to have outspoken beliefs and who act on their individual whims, but really, having those three performers dump on their friends and coworkers because of a labor dispute tarnishes them. Even though it was a group of heels who got the ball rolling with this walkout, since most of their counterparts left with them, enough of them must have grievances to act in solidarity with people whom they have problems with in the ring.
But this whole walkout storyline has also reminded me of discussions in the past about wrestlers forming a union to protect themselves from some of the abuses they suffer at the hand of management, with some of those issues being brought up during the lead up to the walkout. The fact that John Cena, someone who is rumored to be very much against unionization of wrestling and is likely the highest paid performer currently on WWE, and Triple H, the man who will inherit at least a share of the WWE, were both standing in opposition of collective labour action in what largely amounted to a throwaway segment at this point. Pulling in CM Punk, who has had quite a push as of late, but who also has a lot of indie credibility and Sheamus, who is developing some staying power as a young superstar, is supposed to make that anti-union/labor/protest message that much more universal, but in the end, it is simply the moneyed and powerful establishment telling the masses that elitist interests, not the interests of labor or the protestors, are good.

In nearly every narrative involving issues of money, especially in wrestling, the rich and privileged are the enemies, the heels, and the audience cheers when they get their comeuppance. The current story line defies that logic in the most insulting way. Vince McMahon used his public platform and performers to tell the world his feelings about a particular political movement in a ham-fisted and ill-advised way to the detriment of everyone involved.

CNBC Reporter Believes Wrestling Storylines Are SEC Offences.

When you tell someone you watch wrestling, one of the first things someone who doesn asks you is "You know it's fake, right?"

Apparently no one has ever said this to CNBC sports business reporter Darren Rovell.

There was a storyline on Monday where Vince McMahon was being pushed out of the top spot in the company by HHH. And Darren Rovell ran with it.

Right. A clearly scripted entertainment show where a real life personality plays a character based on themselves is breaking an SEC rule by playing out a story based scenario.

It is like me taking what is happening on 30 Rock to be a reflection of what is going on at NBC. If I went on CNBC and stated that Tracey Jordan was the real power behind NBC Television decisions, I would be politely asked what I was on and they would cut away to someone who wasn't insane.

Or that Seinfeld was all real.

Really? Did anyone outside of Rovell's head think Vince McMahon was really being replaced during a live telecast? By former wrestler (and yes, his son-in-law too)? How often does that ever happen in any business.

If you were a stockholder and you believed that was real, then I am sorry, you just haven't done your due diligence in the company and you deserve whatever you get.

Then again, Rovell also thought that stockholders would somehow believe that during a live broadcast, Vince McMahon was blown up in his limo and that again should be subject to an SEC investigation.

And the sad thing is, WWE wrestling is programming on NBC-affiliated networks, so Rovell is in essence using his platform on CNBC to rip on programming on sister stations and in doing so, he is using up whatever credibility he has talking about sports business, because I am sure that outside of sports entertainment, he knows what he is talking about.

Then again, he is on one of the networks that didn't see the downturn coming, so hey, maybe he has as much expertise as his peers in predicting things in his field. Who knows?

When Wrestling and Reality Shows Collide

I just found out that Chris Jericho is going to be doing a reality competition show.

So now I have to watch Dancing With The Stars. Oh, the horror.

That's how much I like Chris Jericho as a performer. I have to see if he is also the best in the world at what he does when it comes to dancing.

I mean, he is a high-flying, acrobatic wrestler, so he likely has the chops to go quite far in that competition.

And don't get me wrong. He is probably the only wrestler I'd watch that show to see.

Ok, maybe I'd watch Rey Mysterio on it too.

I'm a wrestling fan, and I feel ashamed that I am going to watch DWTS.

Sunday Video: Why I Love Wrestling

I think I have a stock video to go to when someone asks me what is so great about wrestling.

There are some great spots in this match.... the backflip is just killer in and of itself.

Tags: mike quackenbush, claudio castagnoli, chikara, lucha, high flying, sabotage, beastie boys, tpi 06

Guest Post and My Moment of the Year

Remember how I said I was going to be posting sporadically? Well, things just keep happening that aren't letting me get away with that, because I have two new things to report, and I don't think they will wait until tomorrow to talk about.

The first regards a guest post I recently had published at the blog Wrestlegasm, a funny little romp called Cutting a Promo for Beginners, which is filled with both wrestling and pop culture references, because as you know, that is just how I roll. Now I knew that it was going to appear there as I had had a heart to heart with the lovely Ray Davies and she agreed to give me a chance to do the occasion guest post there because I really love her sense of humor and her take on wrestling in general.

In the end, I was quite pleased with the results.

And the second thing is in a way tied to the above item. You see, last night I noticed I was getting hits from a post placement arranged through the blog syndication service BlogBurst, and I just had to see what was going on. Well, the Chicago Sun-Times had picked up one of my stories for exposure on their site (which isn't extremely out of the ordinary based on my history at the site), but I don't think the person who picked the story looked at the image that went along with it.

Can you see something about that image that perhaps shouldn't be on that site? A particular word which both I and a certain black actor love to say all the time.

Yeah. As I said on Facebook when I talked about this and the title alludes to it... this was the Moment of the Year for me!

I like some of the captions that Ray Davies puts on her wrestling recap pictures that I thought I would do that myself... with a sly little reference to Hot Fuzz. Didn't think that it would end up on a major newspaper's site though.

I was laughing so hard last night, I thought I was going to fall over.

Tags: chicago sun-times, hot fuzz, cutting a promo, wrestlegasm, funny site, miracle whip, tabasco sauce, blogburst, samuel l jackson, ray davies, guest post, moment of the year

Some Yay Moments this Weekend

- Ugly Betty got it new time slot... it is going to be on Wednesdays at 10. It was something that was rumored to be happening, but it now looks like it is confirmed.

- This dude beat John Cena in a tables match at a WWE Pay-per-view to become a champion.... woot to new blood vying for belts, especially on RAW! The fact that it is the Irish bodybuilder version of Mythbusters' Adam Savage, well, that is just a bonus really.



-Pee Wee Herman's coming back. Woo Hoo!

Tags: pee wee herman, john cena, sheamus, ugly betty, abc, mythbusters, adam savage, wwe, wrestling, monday night raw, title belt

The Reborn Wrestling Fan: Those Weren't The Good Old Days

Back when I wrote my first post on wrestling here, where I decried modern wrestling for not having the fun that wrestling from the Rock N Wrestling era had... the era of wrestling I grew up on, and the one which informed my entire perception of that form of entertainment for decades. I looked upon it fondly, and believed it to be of a superior to what followed it.

But in retrospect, I can now admit that I was wrong. Dead wrong.

I recently found some WWE collections at a discount store in my neighborhood, and I watched some of the pay-per-view and Saturday Night Main Event matches they contained from that era and earlier, and I was astonished at a) how short the matches were and b) how seemingly amateurish they seem now (not all of them mind you because there are indeed some great matches from later in that era... Savage/Steamboat at WM 3 comes to mind). Maybe it was because at time, the company hadn't fully embraced the entertainment aspect of the experience and was trying to maintain the veneer that it was a sporting event rather than a scripted collaborative work, or maybe the formula they were using at the time was not as sophisticated as it is today, but in watching those matches, it just felt so lightweight and insubstantial. I was especially disappointed by the Hulk Hogan-Iron Sheik title match I saw because I recently read about the build up to that match, and the in-ring payoff was almost non-existent based on the build up. It should have been epic, and instead it was just sort of boring with some definite pacing problems.

Put it this way, in any given week, the 5 major televised wrestling programs (the WWE's Raw, Smackdown, Superstars and ECW along with TNA Impact) put on better and more satisfying matches than what was generally available from the WWF in the mid-1980's, even on some of their pay-per-views. At times, the worst match on the above five shows is still of a higher quality than the better matches people were paying good money to see on closed circuit television, video tape and pay-per-view. And back in the 1980's the weekly shows were filled with a lot of squash matches, something which I didn't really appreciate at the time, but in retrospect, I can see them for what they were.

I know that Raw and TNA Impact both have their problems at the moment (especially with a Monday Night Raw feud that just will not end), but for the most part, the matches and story lines they present are light years ahead of the average match you'd get as main events back in the mid-1980's in the WWF. I think having to generate heat for so many Pay-per-view events along with some of the lessons learned during the Monday Night Wars and the Attitude Era likely led to the move away from those cavalcades of squash matches and less than stellar wrestling towards a lot more matches that mean something and more performers showcasing a greater variety of styles and move sets. Today's wrestling isn't perfect, but when held up in comparison to the era which spawned it as a national phenomenon, well, it is pretty good stuff indeed.

And again, don't get me wrong, there were still some great matches and feuds from that era, but in seeing some of the work I had previously praised and held as the gold standard for entertaining wrestling, I realized that I was looking back with rose-colored glasses. It was never a completely exemplary product and now I can finally admit it and get on with my life as a wrestling fan.

Tags: randy savage, ricky steamboat, hulk hogan, attitude era, monday night wars, iron sheik, rock n wrestling, saturday night main event, wrestlemania 3, pacing

Midweek Video: Funny DVD Menu video

Edit: I posted this less than 24 hours before Michael Jackson passed away, and in no way am I making fun of him. This is neither the time nor the place for that.

Any wrestling promotion that makes a DVD menu like this has a fan in me (and this is the video I promised to post a few days ago).

Viva Chikara Pro!

With your cartoonishly entertaining wrestling, pop culturally influenced characters (for example, listen to Ultramantis Black in this promo and tell me who he sounds like not to mention a team called Super Smash Brothers) and lucha-inspired wrestling, you have everything I am looking for in an independent promotion. Bravo!

A few other moments I love:

A Kid dressed like Rey Mysterio in the crowd
"He's Going for the Sprinkles" (making fun of Hardcore wrestling)
A Brawl that ends with a strange turn of events.
A Great Eddie Kingston promo. Not funny, but just really good, and one of the first things I saw that was Chikara related.

Tags: chikara pro, wrestling, super smash brothers, ultramantis black, mike quackenbush, pennsylvania, lucha libre, pop culture, billie jean, dvd menu, behind the 8-ball, bob saget, los ice cream, rey mysterio, eddie kingston, sprinkles, jimmies, promo, michael jackson

The Reborn Wrestling Fan: Saying No to the Hardcore

I recently received a compilation video from a funny, lucha-inspired independent wrestling company because I wanted to broaden my horizons as a wrestling fan, and I highly enjoyed what I watched (and something from that merry band of entertainers will be the Midweek video.)

And after I watched the DVD, I decided to watch the previews on it as well, expecting to see more trailers from some of their recorded shows. But instead, I ended up watching previews for some of the hardcore compilations the production company also produced.

For those who are luckily unfamiliar with what hardcore/extreme wrestling is, basically it is a type of wrestling that has fewer rules limitations, and at times it can get really out of hand. The way that mainstream pro wrestling defines it involves things like Ladder, First Blood and even Steel Cage matches along with various other match stipulations which are seemingly more dangerous than your average match.

And then some of the indy promotions and Japanese companies just took that model and ran with it by amping it up to new levels. Barb wire, nails, fluorescent tubes, tacks, land mine matches, electrified ropes, razor blade... all kinds of weird and dangerous stuff.

It is these kinds of spectacles that I usually bring up when people whip out the "wrestling is fake" line because if you think about it, in front of a live audience which surrounds the participants 360 degrees, it would be hard to fake hitting someone with a fluorescent light tube and the resulting cascade of blood... especially on the budgets these promotions run on. I am sure TNA or the WWE could make such a hit work completely safely with their resources, but in the indies, that just isn't going to fly.

And the less said about the spectacle of someone being tied up in the ropes and getting attacked across their bare belly with a weed whacker, the better.

I know there is all kinds of weird stuff out there, and I don't have to like everything, but to me, this kind of spectacle is repellent. And this is coming from someone who loves horror and action movies, violent video games and the like.

When I think about pro wrestling (you'll be hard pressed to get me to call it sports entertainment on a consistent basis), I am ok with occasionally seeing someone getting busted up, but that isn't the point of the whole thing. I don't have blood lust when I watch it. Some people do, and while I am not going to call them sick, I just know that isn't for me. I mean, it really isn't for me. What I want is a simulation of violence and pain rather than actually watching two people doing things which are all too real. I want to see two or more people going out and doing solid, skilled matches where in the end, no one really gets hurt. On some level, I might even be able to let a few things slide on the technical side if what is being presented is interesting, clever or funny.

You see, if you ever saw me watching wrestling, and I am enjoying a match and I really liked something I just saw (particularly a clever aerobatic move or reversal... especially a clever reversal), I laugh a little bit, not because it was funny in most cases, but rather because what I just witnessed was very entertaining.

I mean, if it was between seeing someone smashed over the head with a fluorescent tube or seeing someone do something like this or this consistently, well, I chose the latter two options. I mean, to me, that is worlds apart from the brutality of hardcore wrestling, and as a whole, I respect that kind of athleticism far more than someone being able to take a lot of real physical abuse just to try to entertain me. I guess that is my love for lucha libre is really influencing my view on what I really like to see in wrestling (smaller, more agile wrestlers, colorful and fun acrobatic moves and a slightly looser style).

I guess I just appreciate showmanship more than any other aspect in wrestling. After coming back to it after almost a decade and a half, I guess I've had a lot of time to think about that very issue. I know for a fact that I don't have to see someone almost kill themselves to be entertained. I just hope more indies start getting this message as well (as the places where new wrestlers break into the industry), as I am sure I am surely not alone in feeling that they want more fun and less blood.

Tags: first blood, lucha libre, hardcore, extreme, first blood, ladder match, john morrison, mick foley, chikara, undertaker, mankind, 619, west coast pop, starship pain, pro wrestling, sports entertainment, cruiserweights, more fun, less blood