The Goofy/Pluto Thing

I wonder if Mickey Mouse and Goofy ever had a certain uncomfortable conversation about Pluto.

You know, something that went a little like this:

Goofy: Ahoy Mickey.

Mickey: Oh, hey Goofy. What's going on?

Goofy: Ah, not too much, but I wanted to talk to you about something. I just happened to notice that you keep one of my canine brethren as a pet.

Mickey: So what's your point?

Goofy: Well, it just doesn't seem right. I mean, he's a dog just like me, and yet, you keep him like a slave.

Mickey: Put it this way, if certain actors don't like the fact that I have Pluto as a pet, then I am sure we can recast the part. Hmmm, do I know any other dogs that could play that role?

Goofy: Wait Mickey, now don't do anything rash.

Mickey: I just don't want anyone to be offended. That sentiment seems to be going around.

Goofy: No, no, no no. I was just making an observation, that's all. Consider it withdrawn.

Mickey: That's what I thought.

You know they had a conversation about it at least once.

Cutrate Cultural Analysis: California Gurls

It is no secret that I am not a fan of Katy Perry's music. It is a little too overprocessed for my tastes, and I know there are a lot of other people out there who feel the same.

I thought I could do everyone a public service if rather than making you all watch that video, I would visually recreate it using pop cultural images that came up from my mind when I first watched that matched either in movement or implication, what was going on during the video.

Is it perfect? No. I admit that there are a few bare spots (no pun intended), but I think for the most part, I got the essence of the video down with all these images.

So now you don't have to watch it but you still have an idea of its content. You can thank me later.




















































































Does it make sense? It does to me.

Tags: snoop dogg, california gurls, katy perry, huey lewis, shrek, gingerbread man, tim curry, wilderness girls, christina aguilera, genie in a bottle, jello, slimer, ghostbusters, john spartan, demolition man, wizard of oz, bubble girl, david lee roth, victoria's secret, barbie girl, natalie portman, closer, snakes on a plane, ali larter, whip cream bikini, varsity blues, kate pierson, zooey deschanel, absolut, noodles, umi, poison ivy, homer simpson, land of chocolate, simpsons game, black hole sun, cloudy with a chance of meatballs, gummi bears, last crusade, step of faith, yellow brick road, calvin and hobbes, water balloons, madonna, tank girl, missile bra, bettie page, laura palmer, twin peaks, imaginationland, south park, bunny lebowski, sailor moon, thriller, achy breaky heart, wave babies

Cut Rate Cultural Analysis: The Waterboy

You know when you see a scene in a movie and you know that it is stupid, but it isn't until you've seen it multiple times that you realize just how dumb it is.

I had one of those moments when I just happened to catch the end of The Waterboy on the weekend. If you haven't seen it by now, and you plan on doing so, well, this may not be the entry for you.

You see, I used to think the final football scene in the movie was stupid because it involved Sandler, who plays an exceptional linebacker, somehow making a 40+ yard pass (since the Mud Dogs are in field goal range) to the quarterback who was streaking towards the end zone to win the game by 4 points.

I mean, I can buy someone who has been kicked around their whole life being able to sublimate all that stress and resentment into being an effective defensive threat, but I can't buy that same person being able to throw a ball with precision to someone who isn't trained to make a big catch on a play that the coach just drew up.

This bothered me for a while, but then I realized that the situation presented is even more stupid when you think about the context.

You see, The Waterboy is a movie about College Football and those of you who are familiar with that sport are also likely familiar with how overtime works. There are no ties in the modern game, even during Bowl games. In College Football, overtime is an almost egalitarian experiment, because both teams get to have possession of the ball and a chance to score.

The Mud Dogs had a more than competent kicker, and under the rules of NCAA football, they have a chance to take out the other team in a fair manner in overtime (after all, they have a linebacker who is a one man army... a defensive player so good that the opposing team wouldn't even run plays against him).

It wouldn't have been as dramatic, but man, if it was a real game, you know that's what would have happened. And this is coming from someone who, when playing Madden, almost always goes for it.

Tags: the waterboy, adam sandler, miracle rally, college football, louisiana, overtime, go for 3, madden, bowl game

Cut Rate Cultural Analysis: The Pina Colada Song

You know when there is something that has been floating around the pop cultural ether for a long time, but you hadn't really noticed it or paid it enough attention to make any statement about it, and then there is a moment where you see it for the first time for what it is.

I had one of those moments today. What was that particular thing that I had up to now almost completely ignored? Escape/The Pina Colada Song by Rupert Holmes. I could have gone the rest of my life without really hearing this song, but now that I have, I just have to talk about it.

I'm sorry.

So the situation as reported by the song is as follows. A dude is in a relationship that isn't bad or anything, just a little too comfortable, so while he is lying in bed next to his girl, he reads a very specific personal ad which lists a lot of qualities and activities he finds intriguing. He then writes a counter personal ad saying that he is looking for those things, and he is in a rush, so why don't they meet at a bar the next day. Said dude shows up, and who does the gal who placed the ad happen to be? The very same woman he was in the relationship with.

And Rupert Holmes makes it sound like that whole thing had a happy ending.

When he was looking at the ad, he sings "I didn't think about my lady. I know that sounds kind of mean" Well, no shit Sherlock. Maybe that is part of the reason your relationship was in the dumps to begin with.

And when his lady shows up at the bar later in the song he makes it sound like it was a non-confrontational "Oh, its you." You know that's not how that would have went down. I think there should have at least been an element of disappointment in her voice. But supposedly they just laughed about it, leading me to hope that this was indeed the beginning of a rather pleasant, no-fault break up.

Because, seriously, if they stayed together after that, well, the relationship would likely be a little less boring now that they have both caught each other in the act of emotional infidelity. They didn't know that the person they were going to meet was their partner until that moment, but yeah, they were both looking for someone else. And now they know that the other person is capable of that. So now their previously dull relationship has a nice new veneer of distrust in it.

And yes, since his lovely lady placed the first ad, well, she may have more to answer for in all this. I mean, if you read her ad, it doesn't paint a particularly flattering picture of his side of the relationship.

"If you like Piña Coladas, and getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you'd like making love at midnight in the dunes on the Cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for - write to me and escape"

So not only does she think he's stupid, but being in a relationship is so bad that she has to escape. His counter ad doesn't really say anything bad about his partner (although he does repeat the escape motif).

All in all, what I get from this song is basically their relationship needs a little outside help... maybe these fictional lovers will still be together into the Jerry Springer era so he can dish out his own brand of emotional healing.

Of course, looking back at my above ramblings may also be some indication as to why I am currently single.

Tags: pina colada song, escape, rupert holmes, infidelity, song, cut rate, jerry springer, relationship problems