That Gran Turismo Movie

So someone thought it was a good idea to take a game that has no characters and make it into a movie... and I remember another movie that was based on a game that had no characters in it and how well that went over, and I am sure you've heard of it too.

It was called Battleship.

Now I'm okay with the second half of Battleship, but honestly, that was a movie where it was clear that from the outset, they didn't have any characters to actually run with and they decided to wing it, and that is never a good idea.

And that is what I am afraid is going to happen here.

Yes, it is a very lucrative series, but come on... off the top of my head, I can think of at least 10 racing games that have a narrative structure and characters that would probably work better in the context of a Hollywood movie. Especially since the thing that they are chasing is the success that the Fast and Furious franchise has, which is moving away from racing and Gran Turismo is no where near illegal street racing.

I think if they really wanted to get the essence of Gran Turismo, it would be a 3 hour movie about someone trying to pass one of the super hard license tests, because that is the first thing I think of when this series comes up.

I think the producers just want the name to attach to their anonymous racing picture. In any case, while I did like the games in the past, no matter how badly this movie turns out, I can't be really upset because like I said, there are no characters that I associated with the games so they can't ruin something it never had in the first place.

Of course, I think the real question is which movie is going to end up being worse, this or Hot Wheels. 

Gamer Movies: Dredd

After the disaster that was 1995's Judge Dredd, I had grave doubts that 2012's Dredd was going to be any good.

Boy, was I wrong. To put it mildly, I really enjoyed this movie.

The simplest way I can put the plot of this movie is basically a badass cop and a rookie fighting their way up through a building controlled by a gang. Does that not sound like the premise of a first/third person shooter?

And the movie is awesome at what it does. It reminds me of films from Walter Hill and John Carpenter in the late 1970's and early 1980's like The Warriors, Assault on Precinct 13 and Escape From New York, and if you know me, that is high praise indeed.

This may sound weird, but I also appreciated the minimalism of the back story. I've never read the comic, so it isn't like I had Cliff Notes about the Judge Dredd universe going in, but I think that throwing the audience into the deep end with just a tiny bit of exposition at the very beginning worked out well. To me it is a picture perfect example of the principle of less is more. In terms of the pacing, Dredd is pretty lean. I've seen it four times now and I can't really think of any scenes that seemed extraneous or felt like they went on too long. It is a solidly constructed action movie.

Dredd is a very violent and gory movie. There is no sugar coating that, and as someone who tends to take such things with a grain of salt, there were a few moments that even I said looked really nasty, but they do fit with the aesthetic of the movie, so I can't fault the film for going in that direction. The tone is dark and it doesn't try to play things for laughs.

Karl Urban, who I enjoyed in Red and Star Trek, really pulled off the title role with a performance that isn't showy or big, but brooding and even understated. It felt just right to me. Olivia Thirlby won me over as well as the rookie Anderson, and Lena Headey is always good. The rest of the cast is a blend British and South African actors all playing Americans, with most of the accents being very accomplished.

And I can't forget to mention the soundtrack which is dirty and electronic sounding, but it really fit with the movie and I think it is going to hold up remarkably well, and it does again fit sonically with those Walter Hill/Carpenter movies I mentioned earlier.

All in all, for action fans, Dredd comes highly recommended. 

The Midnight Movie Club Video Podcast

Well, all I have to say is what took so long. I kid, I kid. I could never do it, so why would I expect anyone else to do a video podcast.

Good stuff guys, good stuff.

Check out the Midnight Movie Club's other work.

Culture Kills Pans For Gold With The Razzies

A few weeks ago, Semaj posted about this year's Golden Raspberry Awards, and it got me to thinking. I decided that it might be interesting to take a look back through the worst picture nominations at the Razzies from the beginning and see if there were any movies listed in that I liked or at least found tolerable.

I thought maybe 1 or 2 movies might pop out for me, but boy, was I wrong. So come on a journey through the years with me.

Friday the 13th: OK, I am the first one to admit that this wasn't the best movie of 1981, but it wasn't horrible either. Along with Halloween this movie established many of the major tropes of the modern slasher genre, and it helped introduce Kevin Bacon to the world, and really, can that be so bad. This is one of those movies I wouldn't want to own, but I will watch it if it is on TV. I understand this selection though based on the critical reviews of the time, and while I don't agree with it, I can see how it was made. (I looked it up and it is currently 1% from being fresh at Rotten Tomatoes)

Rambo: First Blood Part II: Now this was a selection which I thought was really weird. I really don't understand how this movie was picked amongst the worst of its year, though I am assuming that I do have the blinders of seeing it as a kid affecting my judgment of it, but I don't think I do. I am willing to admit there are movies from my youth that just didn't hold up, but I've seen it recently and I didn't feel that sense of "Wait, what?" that I've felt with other movies from that time period like, I don't know, Red Dawn. I mean, maybe I am approaching this movie from the perspective that it didn't take itself too seriously... that on some level it was a little ludicrous, and that it would never be as bad as Rambo III.

Rocky IV: This one I admit is a bad movie. Like bad, and yet I can't look away. It is just so over the top and silly that somehow it won me over. I don't really subscribe to the theory of so bad it's good, but this is probably as close as I would get to that line. And I have to say, Rocky movies always tend to have these really specific sound effects for the punches that just make every blow sound like it should be the last hit in the fight, and the training montage will likely still be embedded in my brain when I am going senile in many years. Again, not a good movie, but if it is on, yeah, I am watching it. ESPN Classic has my number on that.

Howard the Duck: When I was a kid, I had a crush on Lea Thompson, and I wanted to see this movie because she was in it. I didn't get to see the movie at the theater however, and I ended up buying the novelization at my local Corner Store. I did not read it to the end, so I had some idea of what I was about to watch, and yet, I can't hate it. Maybe it is the casting outside of Thompson, but I can sort of dig it. It isn't great, I have to admit that, but I find it very watchable.I think it is Tim Robbins' geekish turn in the movie that won me over in the end.

Bonfire of the Vanities: I think Morgan Freeman really got to the heart of the nature of this bomb in a documentary, and yet, knowing that it just didn't work still doesn't make it less enjoyable for me. After I knew some of the stuff about the filming and how it just didn't come together right, I took another look at it and while I can see its flaws, I find the movie enjoyable. On some level, watching a few of the actors play against type is also interesting, and come on, it is a movie with Morgan Freeman as a judge, how bad can it really be.

Last Action Hero: Look, I like media that winks at itself and plays with the tropes associated with it, so my liking Last Action Hero was sort of a given. I think it is well written and definitely knows exactly which ridiculous premises to really hammer throughout the proceedings, and the cast is good too, especially Charles Dance's turn as the antagonist.The fact that Ian McKellen shows up as Death from The Seventh Seal is an added bonus. I have absolutely no hesitation telling people I like this movie, no shame... I like it unabashedly.

An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn: Yep, it is crappy, 5 razzie bad. No denying it. But somehow, there is something about this movie that just appealed to me when I first saw it. Maybe it is the "hey, it's that guy/girl" thing with all the small parts, or the fact that it is a mockumentary, or the fact that in 1998 someone thought that Stallone, Whoopi Goldberg and Jackie Chan would be the ultimate combination of acting talent to open a fictional blockbuster. I get a bit of the vibe that Pootie Tang was putting down with this movie, but this one just isn't as fun.

Armageddon: It is disaster porn with Bruce Willis, how could I not enjoy it on some level. Granted, I would rather watch The Core any day of the week, but it is a big budget movie with a somewhat laughable plot that still manages to entertain me, and really, isn't that enough. I wonder if this is the only movie nominated for a Golden Raspberry Award that ended up in the Criterion Collection.

The Dukes of Hazzard: Why do I like this movie? The Escape from Atlanta. Really, it is as simple as that. All I was looking for from this was a pair of cousins foiling the schemes of Boss Hog with stunt-filled driving, and the movie delivered on that. And Willie Nelson is the only person I could see playing Uncle Jesse that isn't Denver Pyle. They just showed this movie this weekend followed by Starsky and Hutch and I knew which one was the one that better expressed the general feeling that the TV show they were based on had.

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra: It is big and dumb and while it changed some of the fundamental story elements of the original cartoon, I am more than okay with this movie. Van Helsing rubs me the wrong way, but somehow G.I. Joe doesn't because to me it taps into some of the same energy the first The Mummy had. I like it in a junk food kind of way and I won't apologize for it. It is the kind of movie like the new Star Trek that is on two or three times a month across the various channels of a particular cable network and I will always watch it when it is on.

If you asked me which one of these movies I wanted to watch right now, it would probably be G.I. Joe.

Courtney Love Says Muppets Raped Kurt Cobain's Memory

Allow me to roll my eyes before I say this.

Courtney Love is upset that in the latest Muppets movie, which is coming out on DVD next week, there is a rendition of Smells Like Teen Spirit which she didn't give permission for (though she didn't have to give permission for it since she sold the rights to the song to another company).

But really, while I am not going to speak for Kurt Cobain, the fact that he was seemingly pleased that Weird Al parodied that song would make it seem like he would have probably been happy about the Muppets doing that song too. Because aside from Fox News, who hates the Muppets?

That Theater Concession Lawsuit

So there is a gentleman in Michigan who is suing AMC theatres because their concessions cost too much and the theatre chain doesn't allow outside food or drink to be brought into the theatre.

I just don't understand on what legal grounds they think this will work? I mean, can you sue McDonald's because they expect you to buy food from them on their private property rather than allowing you to eat your own food there?

If the concessions are too expensive at the theatre, don't buy them. It is a simple solution. No one is twisting your arm and forcing you to purchase those things.

Going to the movies is a luxury, an increasingly expensive one true, but it isn't a requirement of life. And just like going to a theme park, if they want to try to get 10 dollars out of you for a popcorn and someone pays it, well, it is their fault. No one is forcing you to do it.

I mean, seriously for the cost of the lawsuit, you could buy popcorn, candy and soda for decades at that theatre chain.

Or they could just choose not to go to the movies. It seems a lot of people are making that decision. Why sue?

Some Slow Applause From Me Based On This Story

I just saw this link on the IMDB this morning and I had to share it.

Kristen Bobst at Comediva wrote a hilarious article rebooting romantic comedies by having them star Cthulhu and other horrific mythological creatures.

The only problem I noticed is there isn't a Julia Roberts movie amongst the bunch, but that is a minor quibble.

Remembering Commando

I've been meaning to write this post for literally 2 years, but whenever it would come up on my list, something else would come up and it would fall by the wayside.

Well, today is the day that I am finally going to tackle it.

So, what can you say about a movie like Commando. It is a movie that divides people, since there are those who think it is one of the worst movies of Schwartzenegger's career and there are people who think it is awesome.

I am in the latter camp.

I love Commando. I mean, I really really love it.

In my mind, if I was trying to explain what an action movie is, it is the first one that comes to mind for me.

The basic premise of the movie is some bad guys kidnap Arnold's daughter and he has to kill a lot of people to get her back. If you've seen the movie, you would agree that is what the movie is. And that's what the trailer lays out for you too.

In a bit more detail, John Matrix is a former special forces badass whose daughter, Jenny, is kidnapped by a South American dictator he helped oust and former member of his team, Bennett, and they want him to go back to that country to assassinate the leader he helped install to save his daughter's life.

Knowing that Jenny is as good as dead if he goes through with the assassination, Matrix decides that he is going to rescue her, and he only has as long as the plane is in the air to do so. With the help of a reluctant flight attendant, he sets out on his odyssey through Southern California to do just that.

It is stupid as hell on a lot of levels, but I don't care. Sometimes you just need an action movie that is quotes surrounded by lots of things blowing up and dudes punching each other. At times, it is a little homoerotic, but whatever.

But in essence, it is a video game made into a movie. All the major scenes are like setpiece battles from a modern game. There is a driving stage, a couple of beat em up stages, the first person shooter level all with bosses to be conquered. It is as if the writers of 1985 could see what games would become and just built a movie around those narrative constraints.

And here is the weird thing: it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized that the guy who plays Bennett was the same actor that was the main antagonist of The Road Warrior.

In the end, it isn't fine cinema, but it is a lot of fun, and really, that is all that I expect from it. It is one of the movies from my childhood that still looks good for its age and stands up well. To me, like Predator, it doesn't feel dated, like The Running Man does.

Hoverboards? In My Lifetime?!?

Mattel is planning on making a replica of the hoverboard Marty McFly used in Back To The Future 2.

It won't hover of course, and it is subject to enough people preordering it, but man, we have the self-tying shoes and now the possibility of a hoverboard at least in appearance alone.

I guess it truly is a wonderful time to be alive. Well, as long as you don't watch the news I guess.

Now if we can just get the Mr. Fusion.

Midweek Video: Groundhog Day As A Horror Movie

This trailer makes me wonder if this is more in keeping with the vision of the movie Groundhog Day as it would have appeared in the Monster Squad universe.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Not Being Released In India

I respect David Fincher for telling the Indian Censor Board that he will not alter his remake of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo for that market.

But I love the fact that the studio seems to be backing him up and is therefore losing out on the revenue of over a billion potential movie fans in that country.

It makes me wonder if that was in his contract or something.

Does Film Exist In The Future? Not According to Star Trek

I've been thinking about this for a couple of days and I think I've noticed something very strange, something which never occured to me, but which seems so obvious now, and if I am off base, I have a feeling I will be corrected quickly.

Have you noticed that it seems like movies have ceased to exist as a medium in the Star Trek universe?

I mean, books exist, as they have been given as gifts a number of times through the various series and movies, but movies... where did they suddenly go.

I know some of you are saying they were made redundant by the holodeck, but I don't think that would be true, because there have been references to live theatre and other artistic media as well.

If Gilbert and Sullivan made it to the 24th century, then where did movies go? You'd think that on a ship that is out in space for months at a time, that having someplace on board where a large group of people could watch movies when they aren't on shift would be a good idea. Or with all the kind of computer resources that have access to the knowledge of the universe and replicators and such, it would seem like it would be possible for there to be a couple thousand movies in the databanks as well.

And there is video communication in that universe, but people don't really seem to take home movies. I know people have made logs, but those were all official. My memory isn't bringing up any instances where someone filmed their children doing things or stuff like that.

That's not to mention the absence of television or episodic entertainment as well.

Now given how some of the holodeck programs run, it is clear that someone somewhere in the history of that technology had seen genre film (like Tom Paris's sci-fi serial based holodeck simulations and Picard/Riker's film noire styled holodeck adventures), but it seems like for the most part, film does not exist as an artform in that era.

But when I think about it, it seems that in a lot of movies about the far future, it seems that film doesn't exist.

From Pinkeye To The Big Time

I wonder how many people, upon seeing Jonah Hill in The 40 Year Old Virgin thought that one day he was going to be nominated for an Oscar.

Then again, I never thought 2 actors from Big Momma's House would both be nominated for Academy Awards in the same year, so anything truly is possible in Hollywood.

Let's just hope that 21 Jump Street doesn't prove to be Hill's Norbit... you know, the thing that kills his chances of winning the award like that latter movie killed Eddie Murphy's chances the year he was nominated.

Sunday Night Video: Dora The Explorer's Incepcion

*slow applause*

Sunday Video: Pingu's The Thing

This claymation masterpiece has been making the rounds on Facebook this week, and it is just awesome.

Basically, by blending the children friendly Pingu with a rather faithful condensation of one of the best horror movies ever made, Lee Hardcastle has produced something which is astonishingly compelling.

It wasn't until my third viewing that I noticed something a little off about the music at the end.

If You Plan On Doing Some Scott Pilgrim Sightseeing...

...then this tumblr post from Gabdar is the perfect place to start.

It matches a lot of Toronto landmarks to their in-comic references. While not complete, it is a great start to the process of identifying the various places around the city that were inspiration for the graphic novels/movie.

Damn You Hollywood Redux

You know that scene in The Godfather where Sonny beats the crap out of his brother-in-law in the street after finding his sister was a victim of domestic abuse?

I'd love to see that happen to the executive who greenlit the remake of Starship Troopers, because they are an asshole.

Still, I don't hate them as much as I hate the person who said yes to remaking Robocop. They should be thrown down the stairs like Bear in Get Shorty at least 3 times a day for the rest of their lives.

Of course, they could be one and the same person. Then they deserve so much worse. *shake fist*

Slow Applause

That is so succinct and just feels so right.

Another Remake I'd Be OK With

I was watching Risky Business on cable recently and it occurred to me that perhaps it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world to remake it.

Because, let's be honest with ourselves... the original, while it did make Tom Cruise a star, wasn't really that good.

I am not saying anything bad about anyone who enjoys the original, because I like a lot of movies that could be classified as mediocre to bad. It doesn't reflect poorly on you.

It was an ok movie, with a score by Tangerine Dream that was likely better than the film it was supporting, but aside from that one iconic scene to Old Time Rock N Roll, do people even really reference it anymore. I think it has lost whatever relevance it once had.

And I'd rather Hollywood go after this movie than so many other better and more enjoyable films from the era.

Not that I am the arbiter of what movies get remade.

Sometimes The Real Comedy Is In The Tags

The tags on the Entertainment Weekly review of Jack and Jill are epic.

I think my favorite one is "Things That Make Me Die Inside". "Hollywood Hate Crime" isn't bad either.