Pens fall to Bruins, 1-0; Season ends with a whimper

By Finesse (follow me on Twitter)

[Listen to the Game 4 recap podcast below or on our Spreaker page. You can click here to subscribe on iTunes, or download the Spreaker app for iPhone or Android]



If pucks could talk, Jarome Iginla's wrist shot at the final buzzer would have let out a feeble whimper as it landed almost apologetically in the glove of Tukka Rask.  It was a fitting and symbolic end to a series the Pens deserved to lose and the Bruins deserved to win.  Now armed with a body of work that reads like an inventory of a losing team's most-favored excuses -- a hot goalie, injuries, a bad goalie, and no good bounces -- the Pens have another long offseason of soul-searching ahead.

Read on for the burial...

When a team loses in such a spectacularly disappointing manner, the brain can pull you in two opposite directions are the same time.  There's the reactionary "fire everybody, Crosby sucks" approach, and then there's the "I'll just wait a few weeks and let this pain fade away so that when I decide what changes I want to make I will have tricked myself into thinking we were just a few bounces away" method (aka, The Full Leonsis).

The truth for Ray Shero and the Pens is somewhere in between, but he'd be wise to not waste the opportunity that comes with having your team so thoroughly embarrassed for the world to see.  Though the systematic errors are glaring and the individual failures are spectacular, the common thread that binds the last four playoff disappointments was woven at the Herm Edwards School of Simplicity: the Pens don't do the right thing often enough.

It's less important what that right thing is, and much more important that the Pens either can't identify it or can't do it.  The Pens started the Eastern Conference Finals playing the right way, but couldn't sustain it when it turned out that Boston was not going to be like Ottawa and pour the accelerating lubricant for the Pens' glide into the next round.  So the Pens stopped playing the right way for the next 5 periods and instead dug the first three feet of their own grave.  And once the Pens identified the problems in the way they played in games 1 and 2 and tightened up defensively, they could not, shot-differential be damned, consistently generate anything resembling the high quality scoring chances that the Pens would need to beat a locked-in goalie like Rask.  The Pens may spend the next few weeks feeling sorry for themselves for not catching a single break over 8 periods in Boston, but that would obscure the fact that the Pens rolled over when things didn't come easily in games 1 and 2, and couldn't persevere in games 3 and 4 once they finally seemed to grasp the idea that winning playoff games is supposed to be hard.

The Pens would have eventually broken through on Rask had they continued to play the way they did in games 3 and 4, but you don't get an "eventually" in the playoffs.  And, given this team's track record of mixing random slices of inexcusable chaos into their discipline sandwich, what indication is there that the Pens could have sustained their overall solid performances in games 3 and 4 anyway?

It doesn't matter what might have happened in a game 5 or if the Pens had taken the lead at any point in one of these games because they didn't.  It doesn't matter if the Pens were playing the right way when they went out because they went out.  By design, the playoffs require excellence across a small sample size; whether the Pens were trending in the right direction when they went out is irrelevant.  There's already a trophy for trending well over a large amount of time.

Comfort food for GTOG.

It's an indictment of everyone in the organization that the Pens went out this way, so it's hard to pin more blame on any one person than it is on another.  Ray Shero's acquisitions didn't get the team any further than it would have gone without those guys, and it's easy to argue that getting both Morrow and Iginla stagnated a team that simply didn't need both of them.  It's great to have a fancy shoe collection, but you can only wear one pair at a time.  Dan Bylsma added to an ever-growing resume of presiding over inexplicable performances, and when he finally recalibrated his team in one area (defense), he seemed to do it at the expense of another (offense).  Crosby, Malkin, Neal and Letang had no points in 4 games, and while that will almost certainly never happen again over any future 4-game stretch, it still happened.  And the supporting cast, supposedly the deepest in the league, didn't hold the fort while the stars got it together.  It was a total failure by everyone.

Last night's game was exciting only because it was meaningful -- if that game happens in December, it's a total snooze fest, the kind of game where if you DVR'd it, you'd actually get mad at your roommate for NOT spoiling the score and warning you against spending three hours watching it.  It's admirable (and appreciated because we watch all 82 games of it) that the Pens try to play hockey the way most people want it to be played; you know, with actual goals and excitement.  But the Pens have to be careful not to martyr themselves as the paragon of the way hockey should be played.  Because while it might be nice to enjoy the spoils of the afterlife -- like the MVP and Norris Trophy that could be coming in a couple days -- the bottom line is that you're dead.

Raw Emotion Podcast: The End. Pens lose, 1-0

Pens could have played all weekend. Still wouldn't have scored.

We talk about Game 4, Bylsma's future, the Bruins' defense, late-payment forgiveness, and so much more. It's the GTOG Podcast.

Listen below or click here. And as always, click here to subscribe on iTunes.



**If you're listening on your smartphone, the best ways to make sure that you have an uninterrupted experience are: 1) download the podcast from iTunes OR 2) download the Spreaker app by going to the App store and searching for "Spreaker" then "Get To Our Game"**

So, the Pens got destroyed by Boston last night. Now what?

By Finesse (follow me on Twitter)

Listen to the podcast below or click here.  And click here to subscribe on iTunes.



Last night the Pens were a nerdy 7th grader who got tied to a fence and de-pantsed by the cool kids at the beginning of recess, then had to stand there for the next 40 minutes while everyone laughed and pointed.  There was no facet of the game in which the Pens played well, no redeeming performance by any individual players, and almost nothing to give you confidence the Pens can win a game in this series, let alone the series itself.  All credit to the Bruins, whose stars dominated the Pens' stars, whose grinders dominated the Pens' grinders, and whose coaching staff is making Dan Bylsma look completely out of his league.

You're doing it wrong.

More after the jump...

The good news is that it was only game 2.  At least we hope that's the good news.  The Pens have shown a tendency to lose ugly this year (10 of their 12 losses were by 2 goals or more), and though it is surprising to have been so thoroughly dominated through much of two games, it would be completely unsurprising if the Pens won game 3 in Boston, even by a large margin.  What the Pens haven't done this series is get a lead on Boston and force the Bruins to adapt.  The Bruins have been able to do everything that they're really good at with very little resistance from the Pens; unless the Pens can dictate the terms of the game, even a little bit, the Bruins will win this series and will probably do it easily.

This isn't to say that the Pens need to go all crazy before game 3 and try to change everything.  In fact, it's quite the opposite.  The Pens need to figure out what will make them successful again -- making simple plays defensively, possessing the puck for long enough to allow creativity to take over -- and then do it.  And then keep doing it even if the Bruins are making it hard.  And if the Bruins are still making it hard, then you know what the Pens should do?  Keep doing it.

This is all much easier said that done, mainly because of how good Boston has been. But an almost equal reason for pessimism has to do with the Penguins' own mentality. Every quote after these losses is the same: "We got away from our game."  Well, why?  Why does a team that can be so good play so badly sometimes?  Why does Kris Letang look like a first ballot hall-of-famer some nights and a total scrub on other nights?  Why do Crosby and Malkin, now in their mid to late-twenties, still get so flustered when things aren't coming easily for them?  Why do the Pens either look like the best offensive team since the 80s or outclassed brats playing soccer with the puck because they can't connect on a pass?

The most vexing part of this team is that you have no idea what the expect from one night to the next. Game 3 in Boston could be exactly like game 3 in Philly last year where the Pens started running people and acting like babies when things weren't going their way.  Or the Pens could have a 4-goals-in-5-minutes spurt and win 6-2. Or they could play a tight-checking and disciplined 2-1 game. (That last one seems highly unlikely, but with this team, who knows).

As hard as it is to predict how the players will play, it can be equally hard to discern what the coaching staff is doing.  There's a balance between being reactive and being proactive, and Bylsma (and Shero) have failed miserably at striking that balance.  It's been 12 hours since the puck dropped and I still haven't come up with one good reason (other than possible injuries) why Derek Engelland dressed.  It's not that Engelland was any worse last night than anyone else, or even worse than Eaton would have been, but what was this move trying to accomplish?  Get grittier?  Tougher?  Why?  It's not like the Bruins' won game 1 by physically dominating the Pens -- they won game 1 because they weathered the storm and then smartly and skillfully took advantage when the Pens started chasing the game.  This move was reactionary, which on its face is disappointing from a team that went 36-12.  Even worse, it was reactionary to a non-existent problem.  Bylsma was reacting to a myth about this Bruins team -- that they're the "big, bad Bruins" -- when it's the Bruins skill and positioning that has been the major problem.

Scratching Kennedy was equally, if not more, confusing.  Yeah, Boston had won a lot of face-offs in game 1, but that "problem" didn't really tilt game 1 that much in favor of Boston -- the Pens were only outshot by 1 and the so-called "advanced stats" (which involve counting, then adding) were fairly even given this allegedly crippling discrepancy.  The problem in game 1 was that the Pens couldn't finish.  So Byslma's solution was to sit the best scorer and puck possession guy the Pens have in their bottom 6 for a guy who may be able to win the face-off ... but to what end?  Vitale wins the offensive zone draw to Niskanen, who shoots it into the corner ... who is getting it and then doing anything with it?  Brenden Morrow?  An overreaction to a real, but hardly fatal, problem.

Both of these moves were marginal in the sense that they didn't in any way cost the Pens this game.  The Pens are a unique team.  No one plays like the Pens, but the Pens don't -- and can't -- play like anyone else.  So why try?  Why let the Bruins dictate your lineup?  At home, no less.  Coupled with his inability to extract any consistency from his best players, Dan Bylsma has as much to answer for as anyone.

One thing that Bylsma can and should answer immediately is the goaltending question, although there really shouldn't be a question. Vokoun has to be the starter.  Neither goalie was responsible for this loss, but to anyone who has watched Fleury over the course of his career, it's obvious that this guy is gone mentally.  We saw the goal from Marchand almost immediately after the Sutter goal.  We don't need to see more.  He's so horrible right now that you could easily make the case that he shouldn't even dress as the backup.  Fleury looked like he wanted to cry ... when the Pens put him IN the game.

The series is not lost, though when the Pens finally get it together it may be too late to salvage given how well the Bruins are playing.  It certainly looks bleak heading back to Boston down 2-0.  If the Pens were a normal team, you could look at the results from the first two games and figure that Boston is simply a better team and the Pens would be lucky to win a game. That very well might be the case. But the Pens aren't a normal team.  So, really, who the fuck knows what's going to happen?

5 thoughts on the Pens' game 1 loss to Boston, including a new team motto

By Finesse (follow me on Twitter)

A few leftover thoughts about last night's 3-0 loss to Boston.  But first, check out the podcast.

Listen below or click here. And as always, click here to subscribe on iTunes.



5. The Showdown

The Crosby/Chara and Malkin/Bergeron showdowns at the end of the second period are getting a lot of attention, and rightfully so.  It's too soon to tell whether this was a good or a bad thing, but there's a lot not to like about it.

Very little good can come from this.

It's admirable in a lot of ways that Crosby and Malkin are willing to mix it up more than most superstars are, but it's also not that smart for them to do it for the simple fact that when they fight or jaw at people, they aren't better at it than anyone else.  They make themselves ordinary.  Rather than staying on a higher plane than other players because of their superior talent, they can be brought down to the level of their competition.  Give the Bruins credit for getting Sid and Geno to do it.

The other potential problem with their "standing up for themselves" response is that it's not very logical.  Whatever Boston did to get Crosby and Malkin that upset (and maybe it was simply frustration with not scoring), does anyone think that Boston is going to stop messing with 87 and 71 because they fight back?  Does anyone really think any of the Bruins are going to be afraid of getting their asses kicked by Crosby and Malkin?  If Crosby and Malkin are reacting like that, then it means that they're at least somewhat rattled emotionally and obviously Boston will try to keep doing that if that's the response they can get from those two guys.  Boston is only going to stop with that stuff when the scoreboard dictates that they have to stop.

New motto: Ignore and Score.

Four more thoughts after the jump...

4. The bottom 6 has become necessary

As we discussed on our podcast, the Pens are going to need contributions from the bottom 6 to win this series.  Our initial thought was that scoring from the bottom 6 would be sufficient to beat Boston, but not necessary.  After game 1, it looks more necessary than ever.  Boston is going to load up, as they should, to stop the Pens' top 6, and they're good enough that they might be able to.  If the bottom 6 doesn't contribute offensively, the Pens could easily lose this series.  It's not enough that the bottom 6 wasn't on the ice for any of Boston's goals.  They need to be on the ice for Pittsburgh's goals.

Some numbers so far in the playoffs:

Good: Kennedy (5 points in 8 games)
OK: Morrow (4 points in 11 games)
We're seeing some things, but need to see more: Cooke (3 points in 12 games); Jokinen (3 points in 7 games)
We know not to expect much, but it would be nice every once in a while: Adams (1 point in 12 games); Glass (1 point in 5 games); Vitale (1 point in 4 games); Bennett (1 point in 4 games)
Really disappointing: Sutter (2 points in 12 games)

There are 132 action shots from game 1 on the Pens' website. Brandon Sutter is in 1 of them.

You don't win Stanley Cups with passengers.

3. Hit the net

As Dejan Kovacevic pointed out in his column this morning, the Pens need to focus on hitting the net, not necessarily picking corners.  The Pens got a lot of good looks, especially early, but channeled their inner-Alex Semin and airmailed them way over the net.  When the Pens missed the net off the rush, these misses started Boston's breakouts at least a handful of times in the first period.  And even though we're pretty close to being done worrying about the PP combinations, because all of the combinations are good, the emphasis needs to be on more traffic.  Doesn't matter who.

2. Easy on the pinching 

Letang wasn't at his worst, but also wasn't at his best.  He seemed dedicated to pinching on almost every opportunity last night -- great if it works, nightmare when it doesn't.  Boston isn't Ottawa -- not only can they get the puck past Letang when he pinches, they can score when they do.  This certainly didn't cost the Pens the game, but it's something to watch going forward.

Textbook?

1. Video review on 5-minute majors 

Refereeing is our least favorite topic.  The Pens didn't lose the game last night because of officials -- the Pens PK was perfect, and they had 4 power-plays.  No complaints on that front.

But the 5-minute major on Cooke was ridiculous.  It's such a difficult call for the refs to make at full speed, and it's such an impactful decision to give a guy 5 and a game, why not let this be subject to video review?  I hate anything that slows the game down, but if the ref believes in his decision to give 5 and a game, let's take away the excuse that things happen quickly.  Make him look at it again, and then decide.  If he makes the wrong decision after video review, then the league should discipline him.  Or just let the league review it.

Bottom line: No panic heading into Game 2. The Pens know what they have to do to win, they just have to do it. And not stop doing it if it isn't working right away.

Penguins vs. Bruins: Tale of the Tape

By GTOG Staff

[You can find the preview podcast here]

It's Eastern Conference Finals Eve, Boston vs. Pittsburgh, when thoughts of Mario Lemieux torturing Ray Bourque swirl in our heads, somewhere Andy Moog is waking up in a cold sweat, and the Tale of the Tape between these two titans becomes urgent and required reading. Our thoughts and prayers are with Ulf Samuelsson's right thigh, which is to this day still traumatized by Cam Neely's carelessness. And we wish Vladimir Ruzicka the best in his quest to forget everything that happened after his 5-point performance in Game 2 in 1991. Let's break this down.

Obstacle Overcomability

This is always our most important category, because it defines the NHL playoffs. If you can play, you can play, but if you can't overcome adversity, you can't win. The Bruins had that historic comeback against the Leafs when they were down three goals in the third period of Game 7, and down two goals with 1:22 left in regulation. Amazing, unprecedented stuff from the Bruins. But you know what else is amazing? The fact that the Toronto Maple Leafs took a 4-1 lead in Game 7 against Boston in Boston. You don't give Bill Clinton credit for still being married to Hillary because no one gets obstacle overcomeability points for overcoming themselves.

The Penguins saw Marc-Andre Fleury - arguably their most important piece of the playoff puzzle heading into round 1 - melt down against the Islanders. They're still meshing as team and figuring out who belongs in the lineup. Their captain and best player is only now setting aside a face shield that - believe it or not - limited his effectiveness. They face enormous external pressure to win and win going away. And all the Penguins are doing is getting better.

EDGE: Pens.

Read on for the rest of the categories ...

Emergeability

The bad news for the Pens is that this is one Tale of the Tape category that they can never win, at least as currently constituted.  Unless like 8 guys get hurt, we're not seeing anyone play whose ceiling we don't already know, or at least have a pretty good idea.

"Brian Dumoulin is not walking through that door!"

Torey Krug redefined emergeability in the Bruins' series, scoring 4 goals in 5 games.  But it may not even be the right kind of emergeability.  Claude Giroux showed great emergeability in 2008-09 against the Pens, then blew the doors off emergeability in '09-'10 when the Flyers went to the Cup.  That was the right kind of emergeability -- he emerged into a much better player than anyone thought he was.  What Krug did was so unexpected that it raises the question: was this emergeability or flashinthepanability?  Regardless, the Bruins may use three rookie defensemen at any point in this series.  Pretty sure everyone on the Pens has been in the league for a dozen years.

EDGE: Bruins.

Coiffability

Hair is about appearance, but it's also about trust. And if you can't trust your captain's hair, how can you trust your captain?

Here's Bruins' captain Zdeno Chara winning the Stanley Cup.

He looks like any other 6'9" man struggling with hair loss, probably figuring that no one will see the top of his head.  But here he is at the parade a few days later.

Are we really supposed to believe that it's natural for a 30+ year-old-man to magically patch-up his male pattern baldness in a few days?  Get real.

Zdeno made a deal with the devil to win that Cup. Now the debt has come due.

EDGE: Pens. 

Sex Appealability

Time to check in with the Women of GTOG for their thoughts on this always crucial factor.

Mrs. Artistry: Edge, Penguins.

Artistry's Mom: Edge, Penguins.

EDGE: Pens.

Legacyability 

This is a forward looking category -- think 10 or 15 years in the future and ask yourself whose legacy is more positively or negatively impacted by winning or losing this series.

In the upside department, the Pens have more to gain, if only because they have two players who will be far more memorable than anyone on the Bruins.  If the Pens go on to win the Cup, Crosby and Malkin each get a second Cup and become, without any further question, the two defining players of the salary cap era, which would instantly come to be known as the Sid and Geno Era.  And because of their popularity and excellence, the Penguins become the defining post-lockout team.  Fair or not, that's how life works.  If Boston wins, then they can make a better argument for having the best team post-lockout, though there will still be plenty of other teams making a case in what would be an ongoing debate.  From an individual perspective, outside of Chara, the Bruins aren't really defined as individuals -- if  they win the Cup, they'll basically have 6 or 7 guys who will be remembered like Patrick Elias is remembered.  (I mean that as a compliment).

Such a memorable face.

If the Pens lose, it won't put any sort of choker label on them, but it will be devastating.  A total wasted opportunity.  And if the Bruins lose, does their 2011 Stanley Cup deserve an asterisk because they didn't have to go through Crosby and Malkin to get there?

All of this is a long way of saying that it will be awesome if the Pens win so that we can make fun of the Bruins' Cup in 2011.

EDGE: Pens.

Spurnability 

We've made our thoughts on Jaromir Jagr clear this week, but to summarize: we're basically out of thoughts on Jagr.  It is the classic it-is-what-it-is situation.  He didn't want to play for the Pens last year.  We're over it.

"I ain't over it."

Iginla's spurning of Boston is much fresher, though unlike Jagr and unlike Marian Hossa in 2008, the Bruins never really had Iginla.  They wanted him; he wanted someone else.  There's a big difference between your rival stealing away a girl you just met at the bar and stealing away your girlfriend.

Nevertheless, this will be made into a story all while being downplayed by the Bruins' players.  If Boston loses the series, they will continue to downplay it.  But if they win?  Boy, did we show him!

EDGE: Bruins.

Annoyability

The Islanders were annoying in the way that it's annoying to play pickup basketball against a guy who hustles and sets a lot of screens.  He's not doing anything wrong, but who wants the hassle?  The only annoying thing the Senators did was make you feel guilty for beating them so badly.

The Bruins are a whole different animal in this department. Brad Marchand and Milan Lucic are this year's Wayne Simmonds and Scott Hartnell -- you want to laugh at them like you do to a Chris Neil, but they're actually good players.  Nathan Horton's face when he scores is Cammalleri-esque.  Gregory Campbell's dad works for the NHL -- not his fault, but also not our fault for hating him.  Pierre McGuire will verbally fellate Patricie Bergeron the first time he makes a good defensive play on Crosby.  Tyler Seguin has 1 goal in 12 games, so he will probably score a hat trick Game 1, and then you'll read stories about him being part of  the Phil Kessel trade and then you'll be like, "I'm already disgusted and now I'm being forced to read about Phil Kessel?"  David Krejci is going to make some sick pass that embarrasses Matt Niskanen, and then McGuire will scream, "KREJCI'S IN HIS HEAD, DOC! DAVY KREJCI IS IN MATTY NISKANEN'S HEAD, DOC!"  Jaromir Jagr will make a diving motion at Crosby while we furiously Google "Paul Pierce wheelchair."  And you know at least one of their rookie defensemen is going to goad Evgeni Malkin into a bad penalty.

You will see this face. Just be ready for it.

The Pens have their share of annoying tendencies, but there's a huge difference between the two teams.  The Bruins can win by getting under your skin.  The Pens can get under your skin by winning.

EDGE: Bruins.

Stalwartability 

Dejan Kovacevic wrote about the Letang-Chara "match-up" the other day and figured that whoever outplayed the other one would win the series.  But in reality, it's not quite that simple.  Letang doesn't need to outperform Chara -- he needs to prove that he can do for the Pens what Chara can do for Boston.  As great of a player as Letang is and can be, he hasn't anchored a defense to a Stanley Cup the way Chara did for Boston in 2011.  When the Pens won the Cup in 2009, Letang averaged 19:18 of ice time per game in the playoffs, the fifth most among Pens' defensemen, and finished with a +1 rating. When the Bruins won the Cup in 2011, Chara averaged 27:39 per game and was a +16.

This isn't to say that Letang can't do it, just that he hasn't.  Yet.  So far this post-season, Letang is averaing 27 minutes per game and could realistically end up leading the playoffs in scoring by the time it's over.  He's been that good.  But it also isn't getting any easier.

Chara isn't a target for Letang to beat. He's a measuring stick.

EDGE: Bruins.

Leadability

"I'll take this one, guys."

I like to look at life as a fraternity. Right now the fraternity is me, Tom, Drew, Aar, Joe, Eli, and Pey. I see a lot of that fraternity within these teams. You got Sid, who I'm close with, I feel comfortable just saying to him, 'hey, you know, Sid, if you ever need to shoot some ideas around or pick my brain, me and Ash will have you over any time.' Geno, too. Now they bring in Brend' and 'Rome. Boston is full of great leaders, too. It started with John. Then you had John Quincy. Bill. Larry. Now Tom. I look at their team and I see Looch and March and Kre and 'Deno and it looks a lot like a brotherhood to me. So I just keep doing what I'm doing, controlling what I'm controlling, whether it's going 8-8 with the dink-n-dunk or winning 2 Super Bowls with me throwing deep to 'Twan, 'Tone, and 'Tonio. You know, whatever the team needs. And I see a lot of myself in Sid. This one's for 'Rome.

EDGE: Pens.

Intangibility

This category is less about the more commonly discussed intangibles like leadership, toughness, want-to, really-want-do, sorta-want-to, and definitely-want-to than it is about the ultimate intangible -- whether the invisible hand of destiny will decide to intervene.  The Pens don't really have anything in this department; for Boston, the question is whether the whole Boston Strong movement in the wake of the marathon bombings is going to be an emotional factor in this series.  It's hard to imagine that it's still going to be, given the amount of tributes, anthems, Sweet Carolines, and all of the other sports-related ceremonies and memorials that have been done already and, of course, the fact that the Pens have already played there in the immediate aftermath (and won).  If anything, the emotional toll and the toll on convenience from the manhunt was a negative for Boston: they closed the regular season by going 2-5 and then nearly (and probably should have) lost to Toronto.  Now things have returned to normal and the Bruins are rested.  That's a scarier thought than destiny intervening.

EDGE: Bruins

FINAL SCORE: 5-5

Predictions

Boston can and might win this series.  They are a really good team without a lot of weaknesses the Pens can exploit. But if the Pens are who we all think they are, the Pens will win this series.  An eight day break leaves a lot of time for breaking down specific match-ups, but it all comes back to the most basic match-up: who has better players?  Unless something weird starts happening, the Pens don't have any glaring weaknesses that Boston can exploit to overcome the simple fact that the Pens have more better players.  Not much better. But better.

Pens in 6.

Remember: Goliath kills David 99 times out of 100. A recap of Pens-Sens

By Finesse (follow me on Twitter)

The widespread hope coming out of the first-round dogfight was that the pressure coming with being a heavy favorite and having three straight bad series losses in the playoffs would be relieved and the Pens would finally play up to their potential.  Check that box.  This victory over Ottawa was as lopsided as it should have been.  The Pens were way better than Ottawa and they played like it.

There are areas that still need tightened up, but no team is without flaws.  And while other teams may be better in certain areas than the Pens, no team comes as close to having everything as the Pens.  A lot of teams have a really good top 6; the Pens have a top 6 that has the runaway two best players in the league. A lot of teams have a good bottom 6; the Pens have a bottom six consisting of 6 guys who each fit a specific role, and do it well.  A lot of teams have a good defense; the Pens have 6 guys who are playing better each game, and look like they have their worst hockey behind them.  A lot of teams have defensemen who can generate offense; the Pens have Kris Letang.

It's true that the Pens have achieved only what they have been expected to achieve -- beating a #8 and #7 seed.  On paper it seems like no big deal, but consider: The #2 and #3 seeds in the East are out.  The #2 and #3 seeds in the West are out, and Chicago is one game away from being out.  The best compliment you can give the Pens right now is that they are as dangerous as we all thought they'd be.

Before we get to Boston in the next few days, let's recap this series.


Series MVP: Kris Letang

We give the guy as much shit as anyone, but he was consistently the best player in this series and it wasn't all that close.  The guy is a human 3-on-2.  In the first period of game 6, Sutter won a defensive zone draw to Letang, who simply took the puck and skated directly up the ice so quickly that the Pens had a 3-on-2 before the Senators even knew what happened them.  Who even does that?  It wasn't a special play and the Pens didn't get some weird bounce.  Letang simply got the puck, went straight, and the Pens had a scoring chance.

If it wasn't for some memorable errors -- and he's made several in the first two rounds -- Letang would be near the top of anyone's Conn Smythe list.  If he can just cut down on those mistakes in the next round -- and pairing him with the recently re-steadied Mark Eaton makes that more likely than ever -- it's entirely possible that Letang could win the Conn Smythe.  He's that good when he plays that good.  If that makes sense.

Pens MVP to date: Tomas Vokoun

The Pens score in bunches, and those bunches are usually (and understandably) followed by lulls ranging from brief to extended.  After Letang put the Pens up 3-0, the Pens didn't get another shot for almost 7 minutes.  The Senators had the puck the whole time, including twice on the power play. Milan Michalek scored, but that's all.  Vokoun never gave up the goal that would have given the Senators life, and holding the fort through that lull is the definition of timely goaltending. The Pens' next shot was Malkin's goal, which essentially ended the series.

Pivotal moment of Round 2: The first two minutes of the second period of Game 4

After the Pens blew Game 3, they came out and were as dominant as ever during the first period of game 4.  Yet somehow (ok, Letang was prominently involved) they were down 2-1.  Against a lesser team, this would have given the Senators life.  But the Pens snuffed that out when Kunitz and Iginla scored 40 seconds apart.  The Senators may have been hoping for some sort of reprieve.  Those 40 seconds pretty much confirmed that Ottawa had no choice in the matter.

Signature moment of playoffs so far: TK's breakaway goal in Game 5 against the Islanders

Winning this series with relative ease may obscure how perilous the situation was after Game 4 against the Islanders.  No one knew what to expect from Vokoun, the Isles were swelling with over-confidence, and the Pens were forced into several lineup changes just to keep up.  TK's brilliant finish proved that even if the Pens don't technically have a Plan B when "get to our game" isn't working, they have a lot of guys who can execute Plan A.

Again, Iginla's face in this picture.

Unsung hero: Brooks Orpik

Orpik came back before Game 4 against the Islanders, and while that game turned out to be a nightmare, it was not his fault. (See if you can remember who we blamed). Since that game, the Pens are 6-1, Orpik is a +7, and he hasn't been a minus in any game.  He's not a superstar by any means, but he always plays like a grownup and has helped the Prime Minister start playing like one of the best defensemen in the league.  Orpik's ideal usage is as the third best defenseman on a team -- that's his destiny, and he's living it near-perfectly.

Emergability Winner: No one

Ottawa had unlimited candidates to emerge during this series as a better player than anyone though. It's tempting to pick Colin Greening because he scored three goals, but at no point during this series did anyone go, "oh shit, Colin Greening is on the ice." Kyle Turris also had three goals, but they were of the someone-has-to-score variety.  The Pens prevented any Senators from emerging, and instead exposed them as entirely dependent on great goaltending.

That you probably don't know who this is proves the point.

Adjustments for Boston: None.

The Pens may have finally found the lineup that works.  As long as Eaton isn't getting exposed like he did for a few games in Round 1, the defense isn't getting any better than it is right now.  Tyler Kennedy is a must-dress for the remainder of the playoffs, Brenden Morrow seems destined to play a huge role against the Bruins, and having a healthy Jussi Jokinen on the 4th line is a luxury the Pens can afford.

Who needs to do a lot more: Brandon Sutter

We're not going to slam the guy too much while the Pens are essentially on a 7-game winning streak, but he had no points against Ottawa and has only one point in 11 playoff games.  The Pens didn't need him against the #7 and #8 seed, but he could make their job against Boston a lot easier if he shows up for Round 3.  Because everyone on Boston will show up.

Two random things to watch going forward

1) Is Kunitz fully healthy? He's been sitting for extended stretches at times during the last two games.

2) Guess who played the fewest minutes for the Pens in Game 5: Jarome Iginla.

Final Word on Ottawa

Penguins-Bruins was destined to happen. Ottawa was a small bump in the road and the Pens were riding on 28s.

Postgame LIVE Podcast: Pens Erode the Islanders, 5-0

Recapping Game 1 of Pens-Islanders. How dominant was this performance? Was it too easy? What should we be worried about? Did Matt Moulson even play? All that and more on the GTOG Podcast.

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**If you're listening on your smartphone, the best ways to make sure that you have an uninterrupted experience are: 1) download the podcast from iTunes OR 2) download the Spreaker app by going to the App store and searching for "Spreaker" then "Get To Our Game"**

Penguins vs. Islanders: Tale of the Tape

By GTOG Staff (follow Artistry and Finesse on Twitter)

[Check out our preview podcast]

The feeling today is like a combination of the last day of school before summer break, Christmas Eve, all 8 days of Hanukah combined, the last day of Ramadan, and the time we were preparing to fly to Montreal for a Penguins game, just before Artistry realized his passport had expired. The NHL playoffs are about to begin. And once the Islanders and Penguins face off on Wednesday night, reason will once again take a backseat to an avalanche of raw, unfiltered, steaming emotion. That's why we need to analyze this match-up right here, right now. Who has the advantage? GTOG gives you the Tale of the Tape.

1. Obstacle Overcomeability 

This category honors Ben Roethlisberger, who we revere most for his Obstacle Overcomability (this is true even though he creates his own obstacles, whether a 3-interception first-half or an ankle, rib, head, or knee). We ask ourselves, if either one of these teams finds itself in a 2-0 or 3-1 hole or suffers an injury to a star player, which one is more likely to persevere in the face of adversity? 

The Islanders have one legitimate star player: John Tavares. It's very hard to imagine the Islanders winning a single period, let alone a game, if he gets hurt. No team with only one star player has ever had said star player go down with an injury immediately prior to playing a No. 1 seed and then proceeded to beat the No. 1 seed in a Game 7 on the road, have they? Hold a moment. Really? We're being told that, yes, that did happen, but only one time. What's that? It happened the last time the Islanders played a No. 1 seeded Pens team? OK, fair enough. But David Volek is 46-years-old.

The Pens, on the other hand, had a stretch late in the season where they were missing a veritable all-star starting five (Crosby, Malkin, Neal, Letang, Martin) and still looked like a No. 1 seed. That, friends, is Obstacle Overcomeability.

EDGE: Penguins

"Approved."

Read on after the jump...


2. Coiffability 

This is a new category, and now that it's here, we're not sure how we ever lived without it. It spans the terrain from scalp to chin, and it starts with the head coaches. Yes, Dan Bylsma is balding, but he's doing it with confidence and sass. Jack Capuano's hair would keep memories of 1993 alive even if we burned the tape. As for the playoff beards to come, who on the Islanders has any experience with this? Nabokov? He wears a mask. This isn't really a competition when Pascal Dupuis is on the bench.

EDGE: Penguins

3. Game Breakability

Our superstars are better than their superstars. When it comes to the Penguins, this is always going to be the answer as long as Geno and Sid walk the earth like Caine in Kung Fu. But Sid will be coming off a broken jaw and Geno has 9 goals in an injury-plagued campaign. Tavares is a legit MVP candidate at 22, he's got a true sniper on his wing in Moulson, and Grabner is coming on the third line ready to take advantage of what will probably often be a match-up against a neutral-zone challenged Crankshaft. The Pens might steamroll this team, but it won't be because they dare the Islanders' top-end talent to beat them.

EDGE: Even

4. Leadability

"Tavares, we live in a world that has boards and those boards need to be worked by men with sticks. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Okposo? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. I have neither the time nor inclination to explain myself to a man who wishes he could rise and sleep under the blanket of the very leadership I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said, "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you come into the corner with me and throw a check. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to." -- Brenden Morrow.

EDGE: Penguins

5. Ability to be Ledability

Will the Islanders follow Mark Streit? Of course. They don't know any better. Mark Streit could be like, guys, let's get a sandwich at Jimmy John's before the game, it's the best sandwich in Pittsburgh, and they probably would. For better or worse, they're eager to be led, and if a leader raised his hand, they will fall in line.

Will the Pens follow? Can leaders also follow? If so, who will they follow? Iginla? Morrow? Orpik? Navy Seal Craig Adams? What happens when the Captain returns? What if Iginla is following Morrow while Morrow is following Sid while Sid is following Iginla? Is that like a Chinese Finger-trap of leadership?

EDGE: Islanders

6. Deep Downability

This category is about depth. Which team can better exploit match-up up and down the roster? Which team has a 4th liner who can step up in the third OT? Let's not belabor this. The Penguins will likely scratch either Tyler Kennedy - who has scored 20 goals in this league and a not insignificant amount of huge goals in the playoffs - or wunderkind Beau Bennett. Jussi Jokinen will soon be the 4th line center. Jarome Iginla is just hanging out waiting for passes in the faceoff circle. The Islanders have former WBS person Colin MacDonald on the third line.

On our podcast, Eric the Islanders fan said Colin MacDonald was brought in to be the captain.  Of Bridgeport.

EDGE: Penguins

7. Grind Bitches Downability a/k/a Crankshaftability

The playoffs are a grind. There are no easy games, there are no easy shifts. As a series progresses, one goal is to win, but another is to wear down your opponent so if you get to a sixth or seventh game, maybe you've already won. The Islanders are fast, yes, but they won't have Pens defensemen looking over their shoulders in the corners. The Penguins have Kunitz, Dupuis, Cooke, Morrow, Iginla, Adams, and Neal catapulting themselves into unsuspecting depth defensemen. To the families of Travis Hamonic and Andrew MacDonald: we're so sorry in advance for your loss.

EDGE: Penguins

8. Sex Appealability

Always a crucial category, for which we rely exclusively on the expertise of the Women of GTOG. [Cosmo has recognized Tavares and Kris Letang on its list of hot hockey players, but Cosmo has also so recognized Phil Kessel, so our advice is to stick with the Women of GTOG]. Mrs. Artistry and Artistry's Mom, please do the honors.

Mrs. A: "Pretty cute family man."
Artistry's Mom: "He looks like Woody Harrelson."

Mrs. A: [grimace, head shake] "No. He looks like somebody facing federal charges."
Artistry's Mom: "Sex appealability? Really?"

Mrs. A: "Good looking and the dog doesn't hurt."
Artistry's Mom: "Not bad!"

Mrs. A: "Ewww. is he a Capital?"
Artistry's Mom: "He looks like a Chechnyan terrorist."

Mrs. A: "I want to party with them."
Artistry's Mom: "I am a sucker for men who like children."

Mrs. A: "Hideous."
Artistry's Mom: "Fu manchu look is beyond unacceptable."

EDGE: Penguins

9. Fancy Statsability


Does the advanced stat community like the Penguins?

@gtogfinesse Yes, ~80% probability Pens win.
— Neil Greenberg (@ngreenberg) May 1, 2013

That seems low.  And there is an 80% probability Neil Greenberg is messing with us.

EDGE: Penguins

10. Redemptionability

1975. 1982. 1993. It's high time we exorcised these ghosts.

EDGE: Penguins

There you have it, everyone. Pens win 8-1-1.  The Tale of the Tape never lies.

Pens in 5. 

We're live tonight on GTOG Radio after the game. LGP. GTOG.

Pens beat Ottawa 3-1 to keep rollin' & trollin'

By Finesse (follow me on Twitter)

Before we get started, if you woke up this morning and thought to yourself, "I feel oddly smart today, it's making me uncomfortable, I need to find something to make me dumber," make sure to read Don Brennan's column in the Ottawa Sun about the relative size of his testicles compared to Matt Cooke's.

There's a lot of validity to the viewpoint that the Senators lost this game because they spent the first half of it consumed exacting revenge on Matt Cooke for his accidental slicing of Erik Karlsson's Achilles earlier this season.  While Chris Neil & Co. were needlessly gunning for Cooke, the Pens' two alternate-alternate captains, Brenden Morrow and Jarome Iginla, took young Dustin Jeffrey under their grizzled veteran wings and staked the Pens out to a 2-0 lead.  Ottawa, a team that doesn't score goals, should have had a laser focus on doing everything it could to get out of the #8 seed to avoid a first round matchup with the Pens.  Although in a roundabout way they did get closer to that end because with the right combination of wins by Washington and Winnipeg, there's a very realistic chance the Senators won't finish with the #8 seed.  They'll get the #9 seed.

Young Dustin, so willing to be led.

But the viewpoint we subscribe to is that the Pens are just very good, even if they were missing an All-Star starting lineup (Crosby, Malkin, Letang, Neal, Martin, Fleury).  In our podcast with Neil Greenberg last month, we debated how many more wins the Pens would have down the stretch because of the acquisitions of Morrow, Iginla, and Murray.  He thought it would lead to no extra wins; we said it didn't matter because they were here to swing one or two games in the Eastern Conference playoffs.  No one accounted for the possibility that everyone on the Pens would get hurt and two of the most well-respected players of the last decade would take over.  There is no case to be made that the Pens would be on an 7-game winning streak if they hadn't made these trades.

Brenden Morrow now has 11 points in 12 games with the Pens.  He had 11 points in 29 games with the Stars.  Jarome Iginla has 8 points in 10 games.  The Pens are 10-2 with Morrow, 8-2 with Iginla.  It's borderline comical.

None of this is to say that the Pens are a lock to do anything in the playoffs, especially because there's a real possibility, as silly as it may sound, that the team's biggest hurdle will be incorporating everyone back into the lineup.  It's just meant to point out the obvious: Morrow and Iginla are not Ponikarovsky and Leopold.  They're difference makers of the highest order.

Because I'm a masochist, I've kept an eye on the Pens' advanced stats since the trade (you can learn about advanced stats in our podcast with Greenberg, a pioneer of the advanced state movement with ESPN and the Washington Post).  I'll spoil the drama: They're not good.  In their last 3 games against Montreal, Boston, and Ottawa, the Pens have a combined Corsi of -93 (-22, -38, -33 respectively).  The team Corsi has dropped to the middle of the pack in the league.

I have yet to decide whether to give this any credence, especially where the team has been missing its 5 best players, but I am preparing myself, and you, for the inevitable "Why the Pens aren't as good as you think" story-lines in the playoff previews.  Just as sure as winter, it's coming.

Get it over with already.

Podcast: Talking Pens with Sean Gentille of The Sporting News

Sean Gentille of The Sporting News (follow him on Twitter) joins us to talk all things Penguins.  We talk about the 6-3 win over Tampa, Juicy Jokinen vs. Brandon Sutter, Malkin and Letang's next contracts, the best and worst match-ups for the Pens in the first round, Douglas Murray bopping people on the head, the problem with NBC broadcasts, what went wrong in Philly, what's going right in Washington, and so much more.  It's the GTOG Podcast.

Click here to subscribe on iTunes



**If you're listening on your smartphone, the best ways to make sure that you have an uninterrupted experience are: 1) download the podcast from iTunes OR 2) download the Spreaker app by going to the App store and searching for "Spreaker" then "Get To Our Game"**

Pens beat Carolina, 5-3; Tanner Glass is still pointless, plus thoughts on Shero, Sutter and Juicy J

By Finesse

It's always a great break when you catch a team in the midst of a free-fall like the Carolina Hurricanes (they are 1-infinity-1 in their last 14 games).  The Canes didn't roll over for the Pens by any stretch, but they have so little to play for and such shaky goaltending that as long as the Pens didn't quit, Carolina was going to give the Pens opportunities to get back into it.

When did he become, legitimately, one of the best wingers in the league?

We're hesitant to use the term "genius" to describe Ray Shero's trades, because they're less than two weeks old and it doesn't take a genius to identify guys with career resumes like Iginla, Morrow, Jokinen, and Murray and think they can be assets to your team.  But last night was a chance to marvel at the magnificent utility of Shero's deals.  The focus at the time of the trades -- and rightfully so -- was on what these new guys could do filling roles alongside the big boys.  Little thought was given to how great these trades would be in the event that some of the big boys were missing.

If you planted yourself firmly in the contrarian camp that the Iginla and Morrow acquisitions were overrated because those guys aren't the same players as they used to be, you were asking yourself the wrong questions.  Because, to point out the obvious, consider what the lines would have been last night without these trades compared to what they were.

• Line 1 with trades: Malkin-Iginla-Kunitz
• Line 1 w/o trades: Malkin-Dupuis-Kunitz
• Line 2 with trades: Jokinen-Dupuis-Morrow
• Line 2 w/o trades: Sutter-Kennedy-Cooke
• Line 3 with trades: Sutter-Kennedy-Cooke
• Line 3 w/o trades: Jeffrey-Bennett-Trevor Smith(?)
• Line 4 with trades: Adams-Glass-Bennet
• Line 4 w/o trades: Adams-Glass-Vitale

So in evaluating these deals, don't compare 2013-Iginla to 2004-Iginla or 2013-Morrow to 2008-Morrow or 2013-Jokinen to 2010-Jokinen.  Compare them to 2013-Trevor Smith, 2013-Joe Vitale, and 2013-Dustin Jeffrey.

(We could do a similar analysis for Crankshaft's impact on the defense but Dan Bylsma inexplicably refuses to dress Simon Despres, opting instead to let Derek Engelland tread water for 13 minutes/night).

More thoughts after the jump...

- If everyone gets healthy, of course, there are too many deserving bodies for the 6 spots on the top-2 lines.  But what seems to be working best so far is the Center-Scorer-Grinder model.  Malkin with Iginla and Kunitz looks better than Malkin with Iginla and Neal, if only because Neal and Iginla's skill sets have significant overlap, whereas Kunitz brings something different to the table.

- Brenden Morrow was an awkward acquisition for a few games.  Now he's getting into playoff Beast Mode.

- There is one potentially big issue to keep an eye on, and that's the play of Brandon Sutter.  The assumption is that if everyone is healthy, Juicy J will drop down to a 4th line role, or bump TK off the 3rd line and play with Sutter and Cooke.

Gettin' turnt up.

Where is the law that Brandon Sutter is guaranteed a spot in the top-9?

Sutter shows some great flashes, has big moments, and looks bred to be a playoff warhorse.  But his shift-by-shift and game-by-game consistency is anything but consistent.  The truth is that Juicy J has looked better than Sutter and while it's only a few games, it's not like Sutter's play has made it inconceivable that he could be taken out of the top-9.  Tyler Kennedy has been trying noticeably harder since the trades, fully aware that his ice time is not guaranteed.  We should be seeing similar urgency from Sutter.  We aren't.

We're still confident that Sutter will be better in the playoffs than he has been during his current slide.  Plus he's a bigger body and could matchup better against top competition if he's tasked solely with that job.  So it's too soon to advocate for a change like this.  We're just saying it's on the radar.

- Beau Bennett on the 4th line is starting to make more and more sense.  He looked great there last night, and minutes on the 4th line would get him matched up (most likely) against another team's worst defensive-pairing.  When the Pens won the Cup in 1991, Jaromir Jagr skated alongside the likes of an already-aged Bryan Trottier,  Bob Errey, Phil Bourque, and Jiri Hrdina.  The team was too deep for him to skate on the lines he belonged, but he was way too good not to get ice time.  Though he's not Jagr, the same may be true for Bennett.  After all, many a big playoff goal have been scored by guys with young, naive legs.



- We all know what kind of player Jordan Staal is. That team is in a deep funk, and that's really all his play last night reflects. But raise your hand if you're really sorry the Pens didn't give him $60 million.

- Tanner Glass broke his streak of infinite games without a point.  Except he didn't.  The dream is alive.

- Oh, by the way, the Pens clinched the division.  Brooks Orpik, who was somehow a +4 last night, summed it up perfectly: "If it was baseball, we'd be celebrating right now, champagne and stuff. A little different culture, I guess."  As this NSFW (language) clip from Goon confirms, it is not, in fact, baseball.

 


- Finally, if you're bored at work, Artie Lange and Don Cherry discuss women's basketball.