Game: November 2006

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Videomania: A Couple of Pop Culture-related videos for your amusement

When the whole Michael Richards incident exploded, I sort of stepped back from it here at Culture Kills, and I wasn't going to talk about it, but then, I saw
Seinfeld, the lost episode, and well, I was obligated to mention it. It is amazing that in hindsight one could recontextualize something and make a previously inane set of scenes into something far more offensive, but the good folks over at National Lampoon have managed to do it, though given the major motion pictures associated with them, I shouldn't be surprised.

And then there is this little video I've dubbed The Affair, because if I called it was it was named other places online, it would give away the punchline. The humor is all in the ending, and it is worth watching to get there. I saw it a couple of days ago, and it sort of stuck with me, and now, I am sharing it with you all. Enjoy, and I hope you have a laugh at the beginning of your day or even at the end of it.

Words that now chill the blood of dramatic actors

"Your show is going to be on CBS Tuesdays at 10"

First it was Smith, and now it is 3 Lbs. Three episodes and then they were cancelled after trying to hold onto that slot. I guess Law and Order SVU and Boston Legal are just too hard for CBS to beat.

But now I really feel bad for Ray Liotta and Stanley Tucci. They went into that slot with the best intentions and they were just slaughtered.

I wonder who the next victim is going to be for that timeslot, because I certainly don't envy them, because now it has to be considered the timeslot of the damned. Spooky.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Buyer's Remorse of a Music Lover

I think we all have those albums or songs in our music collections that you can't believe you bought or own {as sometimes you get music for other reasons).

Now I have two tragic faults when it comes to music... I can be swayed by price and I can't throw things away if they suck. So, here is just a few of the motley groaners amongst the hundreds of cds I own.

Jewel- Pieces of You: Yes, I own a Jewel CD *shame*. It was 5 bucks at a pawn shop, it was 1997, and I was a little young and naive... I know better now, but now the market is flooded with it, so I can't really get rid of it through commercial means, and I can't bear to just throw it out. It isn't bad, and I can honestly say I listened to it at most 3 times in the last 9 years, but seeing it on my shelf just doesn't give me any indie cred at all. In retrospect, it was perhaps one of the easiest things to pick on in my collection.

Alisha's Attic- Alisha Rules the World : Well, at least with this one I have an excuse. When I was in college I was an arts reviewer for the institution's paper and that was one of the CDs I had to review. The question is, why do I still have it. I mean, I should have gotten rid of it years ago. Now, in thinking of the album, I honestly couldn't remember a thing about it. I had to go to Youtube to actually refresh my memory about what the group sounded like. It was that long since I had experienced them.

The 20th Century Collection- The Best of ABBA: Now, no excuse can really justify this, though I will state that I had just gone through a breakup and "The Winner Takes it All" was a pretty accurate assessment of my feelings at the time. And it was 10 bucks at a drug store, so it was slightly cheaper than making homemade Prozac. But now... shudder. I can't believe I own it.

The entire Letters to Cleo discography: Back in 1994, Letters to Cleo had a minor hit with the song Here and Now, and at the time, I got really into the band. Being the favorite band of the heroine of 10 Things I Hate About You was strike one, Kay Hanley was the stunt singer(I love that term though) for Rachael Leigh Cook in Josie and the Pussycats was strike 2. Then Generation O! was when they were out and I really started to question my earlier love for the band. There are still moments that I like them, but as I approach 30, I feel like I've grown up and past their work now. Sad but true.

Jan Hammer- Escape from Television: Buoyed by the success of Miami Vice, Jan Hammer, the man who wrote the music for that series decided to capitalize his newly-found fame and release an album of tracks from the series. While the tunes do work as incidental music for the show, as an album... it is brutal. Yes, the Miami Vice theme song and "Crockett's Theme" are quality stand alone pieces of music, but wow, as a whole it will burn your soul... and not in a good way. My only consolation is I bought it from a bin for 3 bucks at a boxing day sale, so at least I didn't burn my soul and my wallet at the same time.

So tell me, what cds do you own that you aren't too proud of. We're all friends here after all. I've shown you some of mine, now I want to see some of yours.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Please tell me this remake isn't going to be made!

They want to remake the Thing again?!?!?

Say it isn't so... please...

*SOB* A tragic day, a tragic day.

Hollywood wrecks everything.

The Cartoon none of us talk about: La Linea

Ah Nostalgia! I discovered one of those little cartooning nuggets that while I am sure that none of us ever talked about it, I am sure we've all seen at least one episode of his antics. I never knew what the shorts were called until recently but now that I know it was called La Linea, I think I will always remember it.

The entire premise of the shorts is based on the relationship between a silhouetted cartoon man and the cartoonist that both helps and harms him. It is a concept that dates back decades to some of the great Warner and Disney cartoons amongst others, but with La Linea, it takes that premise to its barest extreme, and yet it works.

The character design is simple, the dialogue nonexistent save for some giberrish and the plots were paper-thin and yet despite that, or maybe because of it, the mild humor was sort of universal. The character is, to put it bluntly, sort of a jerk, and he does generally get what's coming to him, much like Daffy Duck, and he brings many of his problems onto himself.

I remember watching those little cartoons on The Great Space Coaster and as interstitial material on TVO and another networks for years. I am sure that it was shown on the public airwaves in the U.S. as well when many of you were children or young adults as well.

Does anyone else remember this little bit of linear cartooning?

Monday, November 27, 2006

Strange Brew meets Star Wars: Like Peanut Butter and Chocolate

Sometimes you see a mashup and you wonder how you could miss that obvious combination. Now the original Star Wars trilogy has become the base coat for a lot of satirical and parody work from all the way back to 1977's Hardware Wars, but on the weekend, I think I witnessed a new gold standard in this category.

And its name was Beer Wars, an uproarious mashup of Strange Brew and some of the Mackenzie Brothers albums with the original Star Wars. It seems like a no-brainer now given the references to Lucas's work in Strange Brew but it is a dynamite combination.

For the most part, the two worlds sync up nicely, and it is just funny as hell, especially if you know the original context of the audio or the video you are watching. There are some places where it doesn't fit together well(mainly when an movie sound clip and one from an album collide), but conceptually, it is very well done. I think it is a must-see for anyone who loves the Mackenzie Brothers or anyone who wants to laugh at a Canadian stereotype(I mean, who doesn't?)

Little known fact: The actor who played Jean "Rosey" Larose in Strange Brew was also Gold Leader in the original Star Wars.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

The Wonderful World of Dysfunctional Dating: A Culture Kills Comic

Given the breath of life through Strip Generator.

Nothing more to say, nothing more to add.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Week 28: Pageant of the Transmundane

Tonight we take our ceremonies to the deep autumnal splendour of South Bend, Indiana to keep the cool vibes going into a weekend where a lot of belt buckles are still going to be undone, and what better place to avoid a loud raucous crowd than on a university campus on a Saturday.

But onto the business at hand. This week's winner comes from over the ocean and far away in the Netherlands, where long-time Culture Kills reader Yvonne AKA Dutchbitch the proprietor of The Dutch Files made a rather stunning discovery clear across the world.

It seems that the Japanese are into some rather strange things, and in this case, it is all about Hello Kitty. The little feline has been caught in a rather compromising position. Well, not just compromising, but rather hanging in bondage gear and blindfolded in a hotel room devoted to the Sanrio star, and trust me, that image is like something out of some strange brightly colored yet sinister dream.

The horror. The horror. And because the seene messed with my mind so much(and this is coming from someone who was playing Katamari Damacy all week), Yvonne is the week's big winner. Congratulations Dutchy!

I thought it was only fitting that this week's Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award also depicts a cartoon character trapped in bondage.

And to celebrate this win, here is your badge:

The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Rhode Island Radio Station takes up the Will it Blend Challenge

Last week I posted about the Will It Blend site, so this seems fitting for Black Friday. Over at WBRU in Providence, Rhode Island, the crew were playing around with a new Blendtec Home Blender doing their own version of Will it Blend with some surprising results.

What was the funniest part of the montage was the fact that Creed CDs defeated the blender. I can't believe it. I don't know how that happened, though I guess even superblender has some taste about what it will and won't deal with.

But the crux of the whole bit was the attempts by the crew to take out a Nintendo Wii controller. Will a Nintendo Wiimote blend? You decide.

Aw, the destruction of consumer goods on mass media brought to you through broadband connections around the world... is there anything better?

Thursday, November 23, 2006

A Katamari Thanksgiving

Since today is the American Thanksgiving, I thought that today would probably be the best day to discuss a game that glorifies the values of excess. Of course I am talking about Katamari Damacy, a fantasy for the tryptophan-soaked mind. If you visit the site with the sound on, well, be prepared to have that little tune permanently etched into your brain, and if you've played it, this could happen to you!

And while it is a very Japanese game (watch the intro for the surreal proof), it also does have some very telling American values in it as well. For most of you, it is a holiday, so I am going to spin you a little scenario.

Think about your job, and your managers... the kind of people who see you are making headway pushing your pile of responsibilities and tasks, and out of spite, drunkenness or laziness they delegate more and more things for you to do around the office while expecting you to keep up the pace, and then when you fail, they try to put the onus on you rather than taking the blame for themselves. That is part of the philosophy of Katamari Damacy in a nutshell, but unlike most work situations, well, you do have the feeling that you did well if you bested your performance from a previous try, and that is saying something.

Of course, since the person doling out the insults and scorn upon the young Prince is his father, the King of All Cosmos, there are also familial parallels to some of the conflicts that people thoughout the United States are likely having in kitchens and dining rooms across the country, and like the original Japanese version of the game, alcohol is likely involved. Naturally, as we grow up, we get over many of the issues that face us, usually through acceptance or success, but there are always those lingering doubts, and I am sure the Prince is going to be left with some of his own.

But down to its very core, it is about one little strange man succeeding at a herculean task... because no matter how big the task, that little Prince can keep chugging along, pushing his ball to a mammoth size without ceasing. His performance should put Sisyphus to shame. That is the kind of inspiration story that anyone could root for(even if they don't like the game).

OK, I think WAY too much about things... I accept that.

And, I don't know who this insurance company/ad firm think they are fooling when they say they took no inspiration from Katamari Damacy. Really.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

WOW... a commercial nailed me, yeaaah

I actually got caught by surprise when the new World of Warcraft commercial came on while I was watching Mythbusters. I figured out it was a commercial before the pitch was started, but Wow... that was clever. Yeaaaah....

That commercial was made for the internet, surely it was.

One good meal leads to another: Dinner for Five

I was thinking about American Thanksgiving this morning, and somehow my mind was drawn to another eclectic seating of disparate guests for a fancy dinner.

It seems I suddenly remembered Jon Favreau's Dinner for Five program, and it seemed strangly appropriate all of a sudden. In this age of prepackaged celebrity junket talk show interviews and publicists trying to control everything that concerns their clients, it is refreshing to see Jon Favreau and four celebrities sitting down to a meal at a nice restaurant(with wine of course) and just conversing about the industry, letting anecdotes bubble up that you would never hear on a regular talk show because they don't have a punchline or the required comedic payoff for that kind of format, but which work perfectly around a table with their peers.

And because the gathered celebrities are generally different types of performers, you sometimes get to see some odd parallels that you wouldn't otherwise be witness to. I can't imagine any other talk show that would put Larry Miller, Peter Bogdanovich, Penelope Ann Miller and Liev Schreiber around the same table and just let them talk it out. I think the closest thing that came to that was Politically Incorrect, but because of the live audience and the fact that issues were artificially introduced by the host, there was still that air of insincerity with Maher's show. There was always a sense of reality when you watched Dinner for Five, like you were getting to observe some rare moments from celebrities with their guard down.

I remember one episode in particular, where Jon Favreau brought together Burt Reynolds, Charles Durning, Dom Deluise and Charles Nelson Reilly and because the four of them know each other so well, it was like watching a well-oiled conversational machine work, and since they are all such veterans of the industry, they all had a lot of insights about Hollywood.

And how could I not love a show that was co-executive produced by little Ralphie from A Christmas Story AKA Peter Billingsley. I am glad to see he is still kicking around behind the camera.

I think the success of this show allowed for the equally intriguing Iconoclasts to be produced, as the specialty cable networks saw that taking the celebrity interview and turning it on its ear could lead to some great television.

I hope that the remaining 3 seasons of Dinner for Five are released on DVD soon, and that Jon Favreau has many more meals on camera in the future.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

One potato, two potato, three potato, Four...

There are many memorable firsts a blog goes through... first post, first comment, first podcast and over the weekend, Culture Kills has one of those odd first that I just had to share with you all.

I got my first press release.

Normally my cynical self would have been a little wary about disclosing that or discussing the contents of such an item, but because it involved three things that made it sort of unique and fitting with this blog and my tastes, I decided to discuss it.

You see, I've been told that a giant inflated yet rather fit Mr. Potato Head is going to be floating over Manhattan on Thursday for some sort of special parade for some American holiday called Thanksgiving. And because I love a) spectacle b) Mr. Potato Head and c) potatoes in general, well, it was something I thought I would just mention.

I mean, I think the spectacle goes without saying... there are probably believers in the Cargo Cult that, if they saw a giant floating Mr. Potato Head wearing an MP3 player floating in the sky who would take that as a sign of great things to come. Though granted, they wouldn't understand how they ended up in NYC, but I guess that is another story.

And Mr. Potato Head... well, I grew up with it, and it still represents the best trainer for budding plastic surgeons and photoshoppers, not to mention budding young film makers and critiquers of corporate culture.

I also love potatoes with a passion, and I've consumed them in so many forms: mashed, boiled, baked, in perogies, made into a pancake, converted into a clear alcoholic liquid (and yes, I've had this conversation before... many times without prompting as a few of my readers can attest to). So I visit the site in the press release and there are recipes for things I had never considered... like using potato wedges instead of corn chips to make a nacho-like dish.

Of course, nearly everything I've written in this post was at best tangential to anything in that press release, as I didn't really discuss any of the points that were made in the release. Instead, it was sort of like a jumping off point for me to just dive into the subjects at hand. You can see the press release I was working from in pdf form just to see how off-topic this post really is. It is amazing that even when trying to get someone else's message out, these posts still come down to me.

And interestingly enough, I recognized the name of the person who sent me the release from a few months ago when I was looking for bands to interview for this blog. It is a really small world.

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Next Generation Consoles: Don't Worry... wait it out

By now I'm sure you've read the stories about the riots, the robberies and the Ebay auctions that have all taken place because of the Playstation 3 and the calmer, collected buyers of the Nintendo Wii and its fancy remote controller. Now these two systems, along with the already established Xbox 360, are probably going to dominate the minds of many a child and geek alike this holiday season.

For the rest of us, well, I guess we'll have to wait, though there are definite advantages to being a late adopter of a game system. I know this firsthand as I was a relative latecomer to the Playstation 2 in June 2005. I learned a lot from taking a wait and see attitude, and I decided to give solace to the people reading this blog who really wanted to go next gen but for some reason cannot or will not update by giving you all a comprehensive set of reasons why this may not be the best time to jump on that bandwagon:

The Price: This point seems to be the most obvious showstopper of them all, especially when you look at how much the PS3 is retailing for at the moment(at a substantial loss for Sony no less). We all know that if a system is out there long enough, its price will come down to a more reasonable price, and the same goes for the games as well. There will be a time when it makes sense for you to buy it, but today doesn't have to be that day. Put it this way... for the retail cost of the Playstation 3, you could probably by a Playstation 2 and the other stuff you need to have for it and about 15-20 quality games. To me, the choice seems obvious.

Bugs: When a new system comes out, it seems like it is now standard operating procedure for more than a few consumers to discover that their console is not working as designed. Whether it is the red ring/light of death, bad backwards compatibility or simply overheating, it takes a while for the manufacturing process to produce a product that is relatively free from problems, and if you get one of the first units produced, well, it seems like the likelihood that you will get a defective product goes up quite a bit. This is not to say that buying that console in 2 years will prevent you from getting a clunker, but it probably does minimize that chance. Being a late adopter also means that you may end up with a system with an extra feature(like if you wait to buy a Wii until next year, it will play DVD's too.

Longevity: Of course, for this to work, people have to buy a system when it first comes out, but I've been burned in the past. People who bought the Saturn, the Gamecube and the Dreamcast all understand this caveat. It is all well and good to buy a system that you believe will have a long lifespan, but can you ever be sure that companies are still going to be releasing games for it in 6-18 months? It is a gamble every time you invest in a console, so you have to pick your battles really. Of course, I think in this generation, at least 2 out of the three consoles out there have a good chance of having a long life, so that may not be the issue it once was.

Launch Titles aren't the best: When a system first comes out, well, most of the titles that are released for it are disappointing. They look good and all, but for the most part, they are not all that they can be. Just think about some of the reviews the early Xbox 360 games got in the press, especially when you compare those scores with the ones garnered by the same title as released on the Playstation 2/Xbox. It takes time for developers to get a feel for what a system can do, and with experience they can create much better products. I am not saying that every launch title is terrible, but rather that the full potential of that new system is still left untapped for quite a while. If you skip the initial hoopla and wait a bit, well, the titles that come out after the first year a system comes out seem to be of a better quality and slightly less buggy(as there was no huge push for them to release that game to benefit from a marked lack of competition from other titles).

And speaking of scoring: Buying a system and library later in its production run gives you the advantage of coming into the experience as a much wiser consumer. You can avoid the hype some titles generate and build your playing experience with only the high-quality titles, and with both Sony and Microsoft encouraging developers to keep their good games on the shelves with the Greatest/Platinum Hits designations, well, as a consumer, you do have a good idea of what is probably a good game and what isn't, though if you aren't sure, you can always consult any number of review sites to get the lowdown about the game you are going to buy.

So for all of you out there who aren't being pressured to buy a new system by a younger loved one, my advice to you is wait it out. You won't be sorry.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

The Coffee Enthusiast: A Culture Kills Comic

Designed with the aid of Strip Generator.

I think I've figured out a way to allow my Bloglines readers to view my comics without directly coming to the site. We'll see how it works.

I think most of us can relate...

Friday, November 17, 2006

Week 27: Pageant of the Transmundane

Greetings from Tucson, site of the 27th ceremony for this ultra-prestigious award. It is cool and dry, but I fear it will be sweltering in the morning, so let's get this thing under way before we all sweat out of our formal clothes.

This week's winner comes from a site that is a recent addition to the Culture Kills sidebar, Flotsam/Jetsam. Jimmycanuck stumble onto the tale of a cat enema that went horribly awry... with crayon illustrations to take you through the tale step by step. It is a thing to behold indeed, and I think it altered my basic brain chemistry, it's just that good.

So for a cat-related entry, I have a cat-related Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award picture... poor Snowball is a tough kitty, after all, he takes quite the beating from Homer.

Congratulations Jimmy on your award.

Daybreak: I don't think it's Going to make it

Well, I liked Daybreak, and no one else did. Or rather, those who like Lost, knowing it wasn't going to be there, well, they just decided to try something else.

If you haven't heard about the show, the basic premise is that Taye Diggs's Brett Hopper is a cop being forced to relive a day where he is framed for the murder of an Assistant District Attorney and his friends and family are under threat from an unknown group. It sounds like a topic that has been done many times on film and in print, but there is one distinct difference that makes it different... if he gets hurt during the course of a day, that injury carries over to when the day starts to repeat, so I assume that if he dies, he's dead and the cycle stops, though that still remains to be seen.

But given how bad its ratings were, well, it's a goner, and I know it. No repeats, just oblivion.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Will it Blend? A Pop Cultural Phenomenon!

When I was a kid, I remember the good old days of Ronco, and the heyday of the Ginsu knife, and that sense of pageantry and spectacle had been sorely lacking in my modern day product demonstrations...

...until I visited Will it Blend? Now that is some good shillery on the part of Blendtec. I mean, that is some extreme blending. If I didn't see it, I would have never believed a blender could turn 50 marbles into dust. It is indeed a superior sales pitch.

Now if only they would release that video that they hint at in the opening reels of some of the demonstrations where there is the contents of a large box of matches in the Blendtec... because that looks like some good footage, but I have a feeling that as it got going, it got a little more dangerous and as such, they did not blend. It sort of makes the McDonald's value meal blend look really crappy by comparison.

I think the next battle should be the Blendtec blender vs. the Ginsu knife... and my money is on the blender.

Of course, I am also waiting for the parody videos to surface where other strange things get gooified, and those... those will be glorious.

Strange Albums

I enjoy looking at album art, especially when it is very strange, and in my recent traversing of the internet, I discovered a site that is dedicated to weird record albums, and trust me, you have to see some of these. There are all kinds of good freakishness.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Culture Kills Reviews the James Bond Title Tracks

With the renewal of attention in the James Bond franchise with the upcoming release of Casino Royale, and the large number of lists being created, I thought that since I am also a Bond enthusiast, I would write about something that interests me the most: the title tracks. I've had some bad experiences with them... and some of them have really shone.

I have to warn you all, this is probably the longest post I've ever written, and I may still do edits to . And on that note, let's start at the beginning, shall we?

The original James Bond Theme from Dr. No by the Monty Norman Orchestra: It is one of the most recognizable pieces of music in cinematic history, it sort of invented how a spy instrumental track should sound, and it did have quite an impact on how the rest of the title tracks would play out. There have been a few variations over the years with some of the renditions going a bit tacky during the Moore years, but the modern interpretation of this iconic piece of music is still fabulous.

From Russia With Love by Matt Monro: This is a slow song performed crooner-style with accompanying music which is evocative of the subject matter. While it isn't even close to being my favorite Bond song or the best out there, it fits well with the movie, and I have to cut it some slack for being the second one out there.

Goldfinger performed by Shirley Bassey: Shirley Bassey is the queen of the James Bond title track having performed three of them, and her first effort was probably both the best and most widely-known of these performances. And with the Goldfinger theme the bar had been raised rather high, much like the movie had raised the bar for the Bond franchise. It is bombastic and theatrical, and really sets the stage for the movie that is to follow.

Thunderball performed by Tom Jones: The simplest way I can put this is it sounds like Tom Jones trying to match Shirley Bassey... and that is difficult to say the least. Not the best, not by a long shot, and it looks weak sandwiched between Goldfinger and You Only Live Twice

You Only Live Twice performed by Nancy Sinatra: Probably better known as the source of one of the major samples for Robbie Williams' Millennium, this is probably the one that is most evocative of its larger setting, Japan, as it does have a real East meet West vibe to it. The playing of what is largely an "Asian" theme with electric guitars make this one a winner all the way. A lush production all around and a real high point for the series.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service by the John Barry Orchestra: While I don't love the movie, I do love this instrumental track... in fact, in many ways I prefer this to the James Bond theme, and it is immeasurably better to the accompanying track for the movie by Louis Armstrong, We Have All the Time in the World. A very strong instrumental indeed and very memorable.

Diamonds are Forever performed by Shirley Bassey: With the return of Sean Connery, we were also treated to another title song performed by Shirley Bassey. While not as bombastic as Goldfinger, Bassey manages to add a greater sensuality to the song that may not have been there on the page. The song also moved the franchise into the 1970's musically.

Live and Let Die by Paul McCartney and Wings: This was one of the first big departures for Bond title tracks as it was totally rock... a new style of music for a new style of Bond, as this was the first Roger Moore film of the series. It had a great cinematic adventure sound with some a little bit of a Carribbean breakdown in the middle, which was matching with the movie it went well. It was a very good start for this new era of Bond.

The Man with the Golden Gun performed by Lulu: Responding to the rock gauntlet laid down by Wings(I never thought I would ever write a sentence like that), we were treated to this sinister sounding though kitschy rendition of a title track by Lulu. While the lyrics are a little wanting, I can't fault Lulu for that. While not a great Bond song, it is a decent intro song so you have a heads-up on the villain of this particular picture, though it is no Goldfinger.

Nobody Does it Better performed by Carly Simon for The Spy Who Loved Me: It is a typical 1970's bond song that is well-performed though a somewhat melodramatic, and the backing track is at times a little distracting. I also have this weird memory from Late Night with Conan O'Brien attached to this song that sort of wrecks it for me, but I still stand by my review.

Moonraker performed by Shirley Bassey: The weakest of the Shirley Bassey Bond songs, it still stands above the song that preceded and came after it. With Shirley Bassey, you know you are getting a good performance, but the songcraft doesn't do her talents justice.

For Your Eyes Only performed by Sheena Easton: The Bond movie this song accompanies was a more serious turn for the Moore films, and the track carries some of the same gravity, setting the proper mood for this much darker film. It is a good fit all in all but it does show its age, and again, it pales in comparison to the song it came after.

All Time High performed by Rita Coolidge for Octopussy: Now this one, this one is a train wreck. While No One Does it Better and For Your Eyes Only were a little sappy, this song is full on dripping wet in melodrama and sickly sweet sentiment. It is probably the worst Bond song of this era, and the song the follows it really shows how bad this tune really is. I can't believe the producers thought that this one would be a good idea. And this is the bad thing, there is still at least one Bond song that is worse in my estimate

View To a Kill by Duran Duran: Now this is a Bond song I can really get behind. Duran Duran was at the height of their popularity at the time and the track reached the top of the charts in both the US and UK and listening to it now, it still holds up as a high-quality song 20 years later, a track that while slightly departing from the tradition still manages to keep at its heart the power of the franchise.

The Living Daylights by A-Ha: At first I didn't like this track, but the more I heard it, the more I could see its merits and enjoy it for what it is... a solid Bond track and a good introduction for Timothy Dalton. It also follows the more electronic sound that Duran Duran introduced with a View to a Kill. Of course, it was this track that also signalled the move towards longer Bond title tracks as this one clocks in at over 4 minutes, and to my knowledge the tracks that followed this have never fallen under this symbolic mark.

License to Kill by Gladys Knight: This track sounds much like a lot of the movie tracks that were being produced in the late 1980's-early 90's... it has its charms, but in the end it does feel a little empty. Knight does perform the track well, but it just feels way too overindulgent, especially in light of how serious Dalton played Bond... it just doesn't fit.

Goldeneye performed by Tina Turner: This should have been a slamdunk, awesome Bond song... but the pieces just didn't come together too well. I mean, you have a great performer like Tina Turner singing a song written by Bono and the Edge... it had everything going for it, but the end result was hugely disappointing.

Tomorrow Never Dies by Sheryl Crow: A sensual and dark song that, while being a decent song, doesn't really connect to the Bond tradition, and part of me questions the use of Sheryl Crow as their are other artists that could have made this song work for the movie. It wasn't a good fit. I imagine that is the Lalo Schiffren inspired Portishead had tackled it, this would have been a classic, but as it stands, it just doesn't inspire me. After I posted this, a commenter mentioned that K.D. Lang was first up to bat doing the theme song, and hers is the superior product, but that is not all I've discovered. Both Pulp and a group named Swan Lee had a shot at crafting the title song as well.

The World is Not Enough by Garbage: To me, this is a very traditional Bond theme, and in a way, a throwback to the excesses of the Shirley Bassey performances. It is a good fusion, and this is what Goldeneye should have been but wasn't. It was probably the best theme of the Brosnan era, though that may not be saying much, especially given the questionable quality of the other songs of that era.

Die Another Day by Madonna: Ugh. This is the moment when I knew that those behind the Bond title tracks had really lost their way. If I could disown a Bond song the way I have disowned the movie Never Say Never Again from my own internal Bond canon, this would be that song. It is an electro-techno mess that makes me sad every time I think of it, and I stand behind John Barry's attack on Madonna and the Razzie nomination for this song, because to me at least, this is the worst Bond song ever... and that is saying something.

You Know My Name by Chris Cornell for Casino Royale: I appreciate that those who make the decisions in the Bond franchise decided to really distance themselves from the scrapheap that was the Die Another Day theme, but again, this song is really lacking. If I didn't know it was supposed to be a Bond song, well, I'd think it was just some derivative modern rock song. I don't hate it, because it would have to be better for me to actually feel any emotion for it. It is just... well, it is just bland.

I think it is time for the producers of the Bond franchise, while they are reinventing the character with an origin story to get back to that wonderfully coy 1960's vibe their original title tracks gave their movies. There are lots of artists out there who can do that if you give them a chance... I am talking about groups like Broadcast, Stereolab, Saint Etienne, Death By Chocolate or they can hire some hot Brazilian group that knows how its supposed to sound, or some downtempo post-trip hop group that eat, drinks and smokes the 1960's sound. It really isn't that difficult. I know they are trying to stay hip, but they still have to stay true to the roots of what made the series great.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Television DVD sets I'd Like To See

In the past, I've written about some of the delays that are keeping certain TV series off store shelves and I thought it would be interesting to revisit that topic with a few more series in mind.

Duckman: I've heard that part of the reason this irreverent cartoon series starring Jason Alexander, Nancy Travis and Dweezil Zappa hasn't been released on DVD has to do with Gail Zappa and the rights to her late husband's music. That is only what I've read, so I may be wrong on that. What I do know is at its peak, Duckman was one of the best series at pushing the buttons of the politically correct, a mantle that was taken up by South Park the same year it finished its 70-episode run. While not as potentially offensive as some of the animated fare that has reached the air in recent years, it is still a landmark show for that style of edgy comedy and it does deserve a place on store shelves.

Spaced (Seasons 1 and 2- North American release): Spaced was the 9th best British/American sitcom ever, according to the panel of comedians, writers and other people who deal with comedy for a living, and I find it hard to disagree with that assessment. At its heart is a simple comic premise, revolving around Daisy Steiner (Jessica Stevenson) and Tim Bisley (Simon Pegg), two people who just happened to meet in a cafe one day with the same problem: they each need to find a new place to live. They find a perfect place... only to rent it, these new friends must pretend to be a professional couple. From this setup, the show goes in funny and unexpected directions and in 14 short episodes, a lot of fried comedic gold is mined, especially at the expense of various movies. Of course, given the show's success it was released as individual sets and as a full series box set in region 2, but unfortunately for the fans of the show in North America, the music that accompanies the show has led to some licensing problems for this market, but with the success of Shaun of the Dead and upcoming release of Hot Fuzz, I think now would be a good time for the parties involved to get things sorted out and finally get the box set released into the North American market.

The Larry Sanders Show (Season 2- ): From that list I linked above, you may notice that this series came in #5, which makes the lack of availability for its later seasons also notable. The rumors are that the reason that subsequent seasons of this wonderfully wry and inside show were not initially released in 2002-3 because sales of the first season were not good. However, I think that this is a tragic development as there are so many little bits and pieces that came together to make the show such a comedic success, and it did have quite an impact on late night television. Both Tom Snyder and Jon Stewart owe the series for their latter day successes, and it created one of the best inter-celebrity running gags in recent history with the Duchovny/Shandling dynamic. There is still hope on this one as Garry Shandling has apparently stated in some press conferences for Over the Hedge that he was working on getting this out along with the original It's Gary Shandling's Show, but no release dates have been set, and in all I don't know if it is ever coming out(because there were rumors in 2004 that Shandling was doing the same thing).

Alas, I think much like Daria and WKRP in Cincinnati, these shows will probably not be appearing on DVD legally in North America for quite some time.

Monday, November 13, 2006

A note to the Film Distributors and Theatre owners out there

I know there is one issue that most people agree on: they are sick of seeing straight-up advertising before movies. I am not talking about the previews here; I am addressing the placement of television ads for products and services before feature films at the theatre and on DVD/VHS recordings.

If the theatres, studios and advertisers insist on showing the movie-going and renting/buying public ads before features, they should at least compromise with us all and not show the same ads they do on television, because we all know they can do better.

I mean, look at the BMW Films series of branded content. You are telling me that the audience wouldn't respond to seeing well-crafted narrative short films featuring A and B-list celebrities and directed by accomplished directors? I am paying for that experience for an engaging narrative, and the BMW films ads do have that quality to them. Ads of this nature would be a welcome change from most of the drek we are subjected to before a movie. Considering the quality of those short films, they are probably better than most of features they would be the vignettes to.

Or how about some more of that old-time spectacle like that Honda ad... something that could be water cooler/web forum talk, ads which would be perpetually on Youtube and take on a life of their own, and while these ads may be expensive, they could probably yield better results than the ads that are currently being used and it would probably do a lot to clean up that black eye the industry is getting for how ubiquitous advertising is.

So I implore people at all levels of this problem to demand better. What's the worse that could happen?

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Behind Green Glass: A Culture Kills comic

Developed like a photograph with the tools at Strip Generator.

Hoping there is no litigation.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Week 26: Pageant of the Transmundane

Wow, has it already been half a year since I started this weekly ritual. Time certainly does fly when you are having fun I guess. It has been a rocket ride of a half-year, hasn't it.

And speaking of rocket rides, I encountered something a little strange from the gang over at Bunch of Nerds. It seems that one of their writers discovered an awe-inspiring mashup clip of Office Space and 2001: A Space Odyssey, and it works surprisingly well. It was a character which I wasn't expecting, and that makes it that much more surprising.

So in honor of this monumental achievement, I present this week's Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award to a Bunch of Nerds in the form of Homer Simpson eating a potato chip in zero g.

Homer in Space as homage to 2001: A Space Odyssey

Congrats and keep up the good work!

Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award: Week 26

Games I've Never Played

I got the idea for this entry from JimmyCanuck. We were discussing Gears of War and I happened to mention TimeSplitters, and he said he had never played it and claimed to be the worst gamer ever. I think I can claim to be a worse gamer than him.

Now we both mean that the breadth of our play experience isn't what it should be, and that there are a lot of games that we haven't tried, those seminal moments in gaming so to speak, much like saying you are well-read and having never read Shakespeare or many of the other masters of the medium you claim expertise in. Of course, lack of ownership of a system excuses some of these oversights, as platform exclusivity is sometimes a tough thing to overcome on a limited budget.

I've never owned, rented or traded with someone for a survival horror game. That means aside from about 2 minutes trying out Resident Evil 2 on an N64 some years ago, I've never played any game from that entire genre of gaming. That means I have no background with Resident Evil, Fatal Frame, Alone in the Dark, Silent Hill, or in short, a large library of games that represent artistic leaps in the medium.

I haven't played a Metal Gear game since the original NES title Snake's Revenge... and now that isn't even considered part of the canon for that series. No good reason for that oversight either.

I've never played an MMORPG... or played a game of the resource gathering Real-Time Strategy sort since the original Warcraft.

And I think the winner here is: I've never played Quake. Ever. Not once.

So now that I've owned up to a few of the blank patches in my gaming experience, what are some of your regrettable blindspots in gaming?

Thursday, November 9, 2006

CBS's Smith given closure, Studio 60 gets nod

CBS has shown itself to be, if not kind, at least understanding to the fans of the show Smith, as they have decided to post on their Innertube site the seven filmed episodes of the series. Additionally, they are also giving fans a synopsis of how the show was going to end up so there is some closure on the series after all. Now a lot of people may be upset when a series they are watching gets cancelled, and I know I've been burned many times in the past by this (I'll always remember you Push, Nevada), but I think this move was a wise decision on CBS's part. If only Fox had shown the same kind of loyalty and thought to the fans of Reunion which comes immediately to mind.

And it seems that those stories that Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip was close to cancellation were premature as the Associated Press has reported that NBC has given the series a full order despite its lackluster ratings. I guess it really is their prestige show for their monied demo... like a show about the UN would be. Yes, it is just that pretentious, and yes, I am seeing those little things that ruin the illusion of reality, but I am still watching it, and it is a relief that even if NBC does cancel the show this year(and I wouldn't put it past them after they cancelled Last Comic Standing 3 before the results show, there is a decent chance that the full 22 episode run would make it to DVD.

Can it get better or will it get worse? Only time will tell.

George Lucas is the Ewok of Evil!

By now many of you have probably heard about the latest chapter in the depressing saga that is the now-comatose Indiana Jones series, but if you haven't, I'll fill you in, because this is basically old news being recycled today because new information is coming to light.

Frank Darabont, the man behind the film version of The Shawshank Redemption was commissioned to write a script for the 4th part of series and it was finished over two years ago. Darabont had quite a lot of experience with the Indiana Jones character as he wrote many of the scripts for the Young Indiana Jones television show and the direct-to-video movies based on that part of his life. Steven Spielberg absolutely loved the script and thought it was as good as the original movie, and he was all set to shoot it back in 2004. And a bit of background information to put this in perspective: when Michael Eisner, then a Paramount executive who was involved in the project read the script for the original Raiders, he thought it was the best script he had ever read.

Then George Lucas read the Darabont script and said he didn't like it at all and basically killed it right there. Sure, Spielberg and Lucas are still working on coming up with a movie they can both agree upon, but I think that is increasingly less and less likely, and if they finally compromise, well, that is probably going to be a somewhat subpar product.

I mean, we are is the man that thought Howard the Duck would end up being a good movie... I guess no one around him had the good sense to tell him NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! And legions of Star Wars fans now know what has come of Mr. Lucas's feeling for what makes good and compelling film. I think this parody says it all really. To use the vernacular he has created, he is a Sith Lord of entertainment now, because there is no other explanation for Jar-Jar that fits better.

Even though Spielberg has made some stinkers as of late *cough*WaroftheWorlds*cough*, well, he still has a better track record as of late, so I am more willing to trust his judgement on that script than Lucas's. Though maybe the world is better off with only 3 Indiana Jones movies after all, because I could only be disappointed now anyway. For now, I have to be content with the original.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

I am the Ed Wood of Podcasting

Yes, I entered the world of podcasting... rather badly. It is the Plan 9 From Outer Space of podcasts really.

It was done for a few days but quite frankly I was sort of embarrassed by the results... as I should be.

Put it this way, if someone else did this podcast and admitted that they knew it was bad... well, I'd probably give them an award for transmundanity.

The best I can say is I laughed and then I cried. At least the slight southern accent that I shouldn't have was conquered before it made it to air. Unfortunately, when I saved the audio file, well, let's just say I probably should have gone to a higher quality setting than 96kbps.

Listen to my horror.

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

The big 3 24-hour news channels hit the trifecta!

And the most important and stunning news on election day is:

Britney Spears Divorce bigger than Election

Here in pop culture land, even I realize how inconsequential this breaking news seems today. Of course, this news probably doesn't come as a surprise, November or any other kind really.

Great Movie Mashups for this Election Day

Well, since a lot of blogs are going election gaga today, I thought I would bring you all something a little different to take your minds off of Republicans and Democrats, Battleground states, the war in Iraq and the prospect of trusting machines on this important day.

So it is with that in mind, I present a couple of kickass mashups I found on Youtube over the weekend.

Terminator Vs. Robocop Pt. 1
Terminator Vs. Robocop Pt. 2

Now that is some good mashup, and some great editing. Somehow it feels strangely appropriate for today, but I don't know why...

Monday, November 6, 2006

A First-Person Shooter I'd like to see in another format

After reading about the shelving of the Halo movie and seeing the dreadful movie version of Doom over the weekend, I got to thinking about a certain FPS series that perhaps deserves a little bit more media exposure, though I don't think film is the ideal medium for its stories to be revealed.

I am, of course, talking about the TimeSplitters, a series of games based on the premise that aliens from outside of our time/dimension are attempting to destroy the human race at various periods of our modern history and it is up to a few heroes who are in the right place at the right time(literally of course), to stop them.

Why Timesplitters?
With the Timesplitters universe have a potentially interesting set of characters from various time periods, their adversaries and a larger evil to fight. I mean, I would love to see some more stories about the the swashbuckling explorer/archeologist Captain Ash in the early part of the 20th century, the hip 1970's groove of superspy Harry Tipper and the gunslinging prowess of Elijah Jones in the Wild West amongst others, not to mention seeing more about Sergeant Cortez and Corporal Hart trying to save our entire species from annihilation at the hands of the twisted and evil Timesplitters from the 2400's and other points in our future as well. There is a lot of ground to cover, a lot of places to explore and a lot of stories worth telling. Of course, I am not looking for a movie here, because frankly, that would be a waste of the breadth of available material. But I do think that an animated series could do the whole concept justice. I mean, you have aliens, robots, spies, zombies, serial killers, gunslingers, mutants... the whole gambit of science fiction and horror characters in one packages. Of course, you have to remember that of all the plot devices out there, time travel is my favorite, so I may be biased as well.

Why am I advocating this be presented in animated form?
The TimeSplitters story is sort of cartoonish to begin with, so it makes sense to continue in that style, and it would seem to be easier to maintain the overall look and style of the gaming experience and environments in an animated form. And since you can do a lot with a talented crew of voice actors, a few quality choices could fill the character rosters nicely. It would also permit those involved to take storylines in the directions they need to go without having to worry about the costs of special effects and the hassles of location shooting.

Now, I was never a huge fan of the Star Wars franchise, but I was impressed by the idea behind the Clone Wars cartoon series, and that is really the impetus behind this Timesplitters idea. I wouldn't want it to be like the action cartoons that were on when I was child, where the storylines don't all lead up to an ending (I'm looking right at you, G.I. Joe with that one).

How likely is this to happen. I really am not holding my breath, but I think this could really work.