Sunday, December 31, 2006

Busted: A Culture Kills Comic

Had a glitch so I had to redo the comic today. Sorry for the delay.

comic28



Friday, December 29, 2006

Week 33: Pageant of the Transmundane

Well, this week we come to you from a dark, noise bar somewhere very far away. I don't know where it is, but I have a feeling it is somewhere outside of Billings, Montana. I've never seen so much flannel in all my life.

This week's winner was a self-nominated entry from Diesel at Mattress Police about a young man trying to find his way in the universe through gainful employment... it just so happens to be the Star Wars universe. It was a very good parody piece, and one which anyone who has been out of a job and trying every angle to get into a place can probably relate.

I certainly can, so in honor of this fine achievement in humor, pop culture and everything else that this blog represents, I am proud to present Diesel with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award this week. WHEE!

Bart Wars

Congrats on Diesel for notching your first win.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

2006: Regrets

I think before anyone can make resolutions for a new year, you have to look back on the year that has just gone by and take a detailed account for the things you regret doing and not doing. This is my loose accounting for the year so I can do the whole resolution thing:

I regret going yet another season without trying to get into Veronica Mars. I mean, it is mystery, Lebowski references and a group of actors I have enjoyed watching in the past. What was I thinking.

I regret hyping Smith so much and bad-mouthing Ugly Betty before they premiered.

I regret missing Snakes on a Plane at the theatre. Is it a bad movie... apparently so, but it is the kind of movie that demands the kind of loud audience interaction that only a movie theatre can provide.

I regret heaping prerelease praise on My Super Ex-Girlfriend, and I am sorry to anyone that saw that particular film because of my entry.

I regret announcing that I would feature interviews and then only running one.

I regret not buying Bully when I had the chance... because now I can't find it and it will likely be 2007 when I first play it.

I regret that there was far less watching of grindhouse movies this year than I had anticipated.

I regret that I didn't write enough about books this year.

I regret that I have still not watched the 2nd and 3rd installments of the Lord of the Rings movies or any of the Harry Potter movies after the Philosopher's Stone.

I regret that I watched Dude, Where's My Car at least 4 times in that same period, and I know I will probably see it two more times before the above regret is rectified.

I regret that this list is so long.


Thursday, December 28, 2006

Odd Stumbleupon finds:December Edition

Yes, it has come to this... a link list. We will be returning to our regularly scheduled programming soon, but for the moment, a link list seems appropriate. Of course, my title does reveal that I do plan on doing this little feature a few more times at least.

Onward and upward so to speak:


Where are the toons now? featuring Speedy Gonzalez

Popular Science's list of their 20 most favorite television/movie nerds of all-time

What Code doesn't do (but does in the movies)

And finally, that's one Giant Pink Rabbit!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Noah K takes some more photos of himself

At the end of August 2006, a photo montage created by Noah Kalina posted a little video which he had created by taking a picture of himself every day for 6 years, and personally, I thought that was going to be the end of that story... just one Youtube phenomenon amongst many.

And then I came across some more photos by Noah... but this time he was accompanied by celebrities while he was still keeping the same neutral expression.

And it is a wide spectrum of celebrity at that, though there does tend to be a reality show thread to many of them. Paris Hilton, Joey Lawrence, Weird Al, Jenna Jameson, and The King all make appearances in the photos, though I have to say the one that is probably the most significant is the photo featuring him and the woman formerly known only as Lonelygirl15, another of the huge Youtube phenoms. It is like a nexus of online video popularity, and I think that is why that one seems so iconic. Check them all out.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Best. Gift. Ever.

For Christmas, someone bought me an illuminated version of this:



A Bold Bluff by Cassius Coolidge... better known as part of the cigar-inspired ad work Dogs Playing Poker series.

I must repeat: Best. Gift. Ever.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

The Comic is on Hiatus

StripGenerator is retooling... so until a) they come back b) something else happens or c) I actually learn to, you know, draw, the Culture Kill Comics will be on hiatus until that time.

Sorry for the lack of mirth on your upcoming Sunday Mornings.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Week 32: Pageant of the Transmundane

Salutations from Waterloo, Iowa. I don't know why we are here, but it is that time of the week, and what a full week it was, full of ghetto pools, insane pepper shakers and other things which boggled my mind. But they didn't manage to win the big prize this week.

No, to find a winner, we have to venture into Free Country, USA, the home of Jess and Apropos of Something. Jess took on the Jones Holiday Soda Pack with a group of friends. Now some of you out there who may not be familiar with this particular product are probably wondering why this is such a big deal... well, the carbonated confections that they consumed are: Turkey and Gravy, Green Pea, Sweet Potato Casserole, Dinner Rolls with Butter and Antacid. And as evidence that he completed the dirty deed, he has rated the various fluids on a scale from 1 (Barely Disgusting) to 5 (Oh God, I am going to puke). Bonus points for guessing which one of those five concoctions got a 5.

So to both honor and memorialize Jess's brave sacrifice(because I can't believe his tongue or stomach survived this battle), I am awarding him the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award this week, shaped into an ancient Thanksgiving celebration.



Congratulations Jess on winning this award for your second time.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

The Best Movie Teaser Trailers of 2006

Ever since iFilm put up their list of the 10 best and worst trailers this year, I wanted to mention a few of the teasers that really caught my eye that they didn't mention.

My favorite teaser of the entire year is long gone, and very hard to find now. At Spike's Scream Awards, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino showed an excellent teaser for Grind House, but alas, legal troubles and the new trailer(which doesn't have the same wonderful energy as the Spike TV teaser) for the movie have purged that from Youtube and other sites, and I would have been remiss if I didn't note it.

So, let's talk about a couple of teasers you actually CAN see.

Hot Fuzz Teaser 2: If you've read this blog for a while, you know that I really enjoy the work of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, so it is really a no-brainer that I would be looking forward to this movie. And the second teaser for their new police comedy, Hot Fuzz, just cemented that feeling. It is sort of a gift for the people who have watched their other work, and a masterful piece of advertising. A very satisfying teaser.

Smokin' Aces: It starts off a little cheeky by telling you that the movie is from the makers of movies like Notting Hill and Four Weddings and a Funeral with some classical music. Then the record scratches and the Motorhead begins... and 50 seconds of pure action come with it. No Dialogue, quick cuts, not even a hint as to the plot. It is the kind of promotion that makes me want to see more. Of course, the movie is probably a steaming pile of crap, but that teaser is pure art.

Now I wonder what trailers will excite me in 2007.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

On the Occasion of my 30th Birthday

What the day is probably going to look like for me:

5 AM: Roll out of bed and suddenly have the desire to buy mutual funds and property. End up watching informercials featuring Tommy Wu. End up falling asleep in a chair.

9 AM: Wake up again. Decide against having a cheese omeltte because it would be bad for my heart. Eat whole wheat toast and some grapefruit. Mystified that there is actually a grapefruit and whole wheat bread in the house.

11 AM:
Turn on the radio and discover that modern music sucks. Silenty wish I had an IPod. Check mailbox... received 4 cards and a final notice from Student Loans. Wonder if they actually have the power to strip me of my degree.

1 PM: Watch 1976's Logan's Run... weep uncontrollably.

3:30 PM: Go to the mirror and wince as a notice I've developed grey streaks at the temples. Wonder if this makes me more or less Jon Stewart-like... I start to feel cranky.

4 PM: Get a call from very pregnant sister. Suddenly have a longing for a pair of tiny little feet running around the house. Play with the dog and get over it.

5 PM: Suddenly develop a kidney stone, heart disease and the gum disease gingivitis. Acne no longer a problem.

7 PM: A couple of friends drop by bearing gifts. One is Greek, so being the wiser from many years of education, I do not let them in without looking their gift, a wooden horse, in the mouth.

7:30 PM: Turn on Entertainment Tonight and discover that it is also Samuel L. Jackson and Kiefer Sutherland's birthday... and feel like a fellow badass... until they say that it is also the birthday of Andy Dick and Ray Romano.

8:37PM: Eat Pizza Pizza. So full. Must. Open. Pants. Tell friends "Just you wait until you are this age".

10 PM: Go out to a club with younger friends. Gawk at 19-year old girls, and then in the back in the mind I remember that I was going through puberty around the time they were born, and that I could technically be their father. Half-expecting Chris Hansen to show up to do an expose report. Belie my age by saying "What?" a lot. Get depressed when no one will kiss me because they don't want to get gingivitis. Fall asleep on a velvet couch after dancing to "Baby Got Back".

3 AM, December 22nd: Somehow wake up alone in my own bed. Wonder if it was all a bad dream... find Andy Dick's number in my pants pocket. Scream.

Rejected Nintendo Wii Game Concepts

With the Holiday season upon us once again, and a great number of fancy gaming systems sitting wrapped under trees this very day, I thought it would be a good day to post this little item:

Nintendo Wii Games we'll Never See... thankfully.

Granted, there are a few that would probably be fun for a few minutes.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Best Music Videos of 2006: CSS - Alala

Because we are nearing the end of the year, I thought it would be appropriate to post a few entries about notable and perhaps relatively little seen videos and other media from the past year. And when I thought of music videos from 2006, there was one video that stuck out in my mind in particular.

Alala by CSS (Cansei De Ser Sexy, a Brazilian sextet) is a catchy electro song, but the official Subpop video is what was really memorable.

Now, there are three videos for this song, though only two "official" versions. One is a high energy daytime shoot in Brazil with a man-eating cardboard box, and if that was the only video, it would be memorable, but seemingly not as polished as it could be. I have only seen this version on Youtube, so part of me thinks that it is the version for the band's Brazilian fans.



But the one that I am speaking of was a little more sinister than that. It is the "Night Fight" version of the video directed by Cat Solen which involves a fight at what I assumed was a wedding reception, shown in reverse. Sounds like a simple concept I know, but the thing that set this apart in my recent memory was the way that the progression of the band members injuries are dealt with. Because it is a fight in reverse, well, each member is shown in time lapse in reverse going from bloody beaten and disheveled messes(and the female lead singer was extremely battered) into clean, well-coifed partygoers by the end. There is gore, food, broken furniture, violence and a surprising origin for the fight. All in all, it is a high quality music video.

While not the technical marvel that say, Michel Gondry's video for Cibo Matto's Sugar Water is, it is still a pretty good video for the year 2006.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Last Chance for Two Write Hands

Well, it is that time again... time for another tenant to start packing up and getting ready to move on. So it is that we bid a fond farewell to Emily over at Two Write Hands. Visit with her before she's gone.



I can't believe this was the most appropriate picture I could find for this entry. Wow, who would think that a missed day of blog surfing would have this kind of effect on me.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Spiritual Retreat: A Culture Kills Comic

Yadda Yadda Yadda Strip Generator Yadda, yadda.

comic26-Spiritual retreat



*keeping my fingers crossed for Monday*

Week 31: Pageant of the Transmundane

Greetings from Portland, Maine which is about as close to this week's winner as I am willing to get.

The short explanation of the approach is that this week's winner, Reverend Qelqoth is a dirty, dirty man of the cloth living in rural England. He is a self-described homocidal maniac, and his winning entry reflect that. He created the synopsis of Home Alone, the XXX version(I'd call it the NC-17 cut, but that's just me), and in this holiday season, it is the most transmundane thing I read this week.

So it is with both creeped-out pride and a little anticipation that I present this Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award to the demented Reverend of rurality.



Congratulation to Reverend Qelqoth for winning this prestigious honor.



Note: Because of some computer problems, and the upcoming holidays, there may be a period where I don't post, do a comic or give an award. Hopefully this doesn't happen, but I can't promise anything. I will know more on Monday, though I am still going to try to have a comic up tomorrow night.

The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Celebrity Rumors and Reveal Your Blog Crush Day

I could have participated in the whole Reveal Your Blog Crush Day, but a) I'm a little skeedy cat who feels weird singling anyone out for special attention (oh and since its Friday, don't forget to tune in for the Pageant of the Transmundane)-- b) the sheer number of entries in that race would, well, it would turn the whole entry into one of those long Oscar speeches, and no one wants to read that. You'd skim it of course to see if I mentioned you, but reading the whole list, well, that would get uncomfortable and c) I am so totally aloof and unemotional that really, that would be breaking my entire persona of impersonality and rigid "just the facts, ma'am" type of blogging that allows for no deviation from the stated points I wanted to make I've become known for, but mainly, I'd say the reason I decided not to participate is because, well, you know how rumors start.

And as such, I thought today would be as good a time as any to mention Nerve.com's list of the 40 best Celebrity Rumors EVAR! (Ok, it is really spelled ever, but come on, you know when you read that title, well, it is EVAR forever in your mind.

Did Marilyn Manson Paul Pfeiffer from the Wonder Years? Was James Dean into male leather clubs? Did Mickey of Life Cereal fame die from Pop Rocks and soda? The best of the best of celebrity rumors is on that list. Most of the rumors I had heard before but some of them were new to me, and I am sure there are a few surprising ones on there to you as well. Like I never even thought of the potential of both Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy being each other's beard.

It is some weird, wild stuff.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Four Movies That Have Wasted My Life

In the days following the posting of the Freddy Got Fingered recut trailer, a certain sentiment has been appearing in my email box and over at Semaj's blog about the movie: people want the minutes of their lives that they invested in that movie back, and it got me to thinking about some of the movies that I've seen that I want my invested minutes back as well.

There are bad movies that I admit that I love, and then there are those movies that just shouldn't be. They suck the life out of everyone involved and those that watch them, and as a public service, I thought I would choose a few from my own history of movies that you should never see if you can avoid it.

Now I am not going to pick an easy targets like movies based on a video game or directed by Uwe Boll or Ed Wood. Battlefield Earth and Santa With Muscles, despite being horrific movies will also not be lamented here. No, these are movies that I got blindsided by their crappuessence. These are some of the clunkers that cost me precious life.

Keys to Tulsa: This 1997 movie stars Eric Stolz, James Spader and Michael Rooker and features such luminaries as Cameron Diaz, James Coburn and Mary Tyler Moore. It is also one of the most boring movies I have ever seen and was pretty much uninteresting in every way. It was for sale at my local Blockbuster for 2 dollars and I was sorely tempted to buy it to prevent someone else from purchasing it and experiencing the same level of mind-shattering apathy and abject boredom that I had gone through back in 1998. Yes, I remember how bad this movie was from 8 years ago, which should really say something about it.

Mission Impossible 2
: It seems like I didn't really think about this and I am copping out, but no, in reality this to me is one of the worst big budget movies ever made. I wanted to like this movie, I really did. I mean, I enjoyed the first movie in this franchise, but this, this was something completely different. It is like the perfect storm of crapitude for me. I don't like Tom Cruise, not a big fan of John Woo's work and let's face it, the script and dialogue are mediocre at best, but even that is not enough to make this one of those movies that sucked precious hours away from my life that I will never get back. No, on all levels this movie doesn't work. Perhaps there might have been a sliver of quality in this movie if you know, Tom Cruise didn't lock John Woo out of the editing room, but even then, I still think this movie would still stink as bad as the proverbial midden pile it represents cinematically. I just have to ask Ving Rhames and Anthony Hopkins what they thought they would get out of this experience aside from a paycheck.

Chairman of the Board: OK, I wasn't expecting a masterpiece, but with Larry Miller, Rachel Welch and M. Emmet Walsh rounding out the cast of the Carrot Top/Courtney Thorne-Smith vehicle, well, I thought that it would at least be funny from a bad movie point of view, but alas, it was not. Norm Macdonald ripped this movie far better than I ever could, so I shall quote him. Alternate title for this movie: "Box office poison" and when presented with the real title of the movie, he quipped that the Board was spelled B-O-R-E-D. Of course, I've seen Dirty Work, so I don't really think he is in a position to talk.

Shining Through: Picture it, a World War II picture where because of her skills at baking pastries, Melanie Griffith is used to spy on a German officer by American Intelligence services. Michael Douglas, John Gielgud(!) and Liam Neeson couldn't make this shit float. It won 3 Razzies the year it came out, though it should have won more, because wow, this is the triple crown of bad. At least this wasn't Gielgud's last movie. That would make it all the more tragic.

So in closing, I gave up nearly 8 hours of my life watching these movies, and as a public service I am telling you NOT to watch them if you have the opportunity.

Now, are there any movies that you regret watching and wish you had invested time returned to you?

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Zombie Paris Hilton

After viewing a controversial featured video on Youtube (wow, sarcasm on sarcasm, oh the humanity), I decided to go through their other videos and I discovered a hidden gem from Halloween that concerns two things that this blog is built upon... zombies and pop culture icons... so I present you with Zombie Paris Hilton.

Do you love it?!?

BTW, after watching the sarcasm video, you should check out how she deals with her attackers... she's a clever one, and a little surprising.

Remembering "The Snowman"

When I was a child, there was always the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman to entertain and delight me with holiday entertainment on television. However, it wasn't until my early teens that I saw a short animated film that brought something new to the genre to me.

That movie was The Snowman. Nominated for an Oscar in 1983, the movie tells the story of a boy and the snowman he created on Christmas Eve that comes to life at midnight and the explorations they share both in rural/suburban England of the boy and the world of the snowmen and the far north and after I had seen it, I was never the same person. Based on the children's book by Raymond Briggs, and introduced by him in some editions of the film(in others it is David Bowie).

If you've seen it, you know what I am talking about, and if you haven't, well, let's just say that for a Christmas presentation, it ends on a rather dark note, which is rare for an animated film for this season. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. But it is because of this quality that I am recommending it today.

It tells its story without words, and a single hauntingly memorable song, and that's all it needs. It is a fuzzy world given mirth and emotion by action, perspective and expression alone, and its unique look also makes it easy on the eyes.

If you've never seen this movie, and you notice it is on cable or television, you should give it a look. It will touch your heart without giving you a cavity.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Brilliant Movie Recut: Freddy Got Fingered

Why couldn't Freddy Got Fingered have been this movie?

Oh yeah, because Tom Green directed it... nevermind.

The Tenant in Room 117: Two Write Hands

I remember seeing Two Write Hands a few months ago while surfing on one of the blog traffic sites and I remembered it from a previous masthead image which was an animated gif of the author in a series of different poses, and when Emily bid on my little space, well, how could I refuse?



The thing I was most drawn to were the challenges she faced professionally, whether it is cleaning up her new desk of the detritus left by the previous employee, the dilemma she faced when presented with the submissions of a rather cocky cartoonist and finally getting the respect she deserves when dealing with abusive people. As the months go on, there she gains more responsibility at the magazine she works at, and that is the thread that really interested me. It sort of reminds me of the plot of a certain ABC show truth be told.

Of course, there is more to her blog than just work. She is also a full-time student and has an interesting family life, so there are other tales to tell, and I would be remiss if I didn't mention that.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Wonderin' what is goin' to become of WKRP?

As reported on Pop Candy, WKRP in Cincinnati is getting a DVD release for its first season in April 2007.

I never thought this day would come, I honestly didn't.

Granted, these are slightly... um, well, they've had some of the music altered. That is either a licensing concession or they are just going to be packaging the version of the show that was most recently shown on stations like the Comedy Network, Nick at Nite and the station that would become Spike, TNN. Either way, the show is coming to a DVD player near you soon and there is renewed hope for other orphaned shows looking to DVD release. Huzzah!

Reasons Rocky Balboa will suck

  • Think about the last time you saw Sylvester Stallone starring in a theatrically released movie. Are you all the way back in 2001 sitting at the theatre watching the terrible Driven. That doesn't bode well for this movie either.

  • The movie has the same director as Staying Alive and Rocky IV.

  • Sylvester Stallone's own son didn't reprise his role as Rocky's son. There are rumors that Sage's short film Vic about an aging actor who remembers his glory days in Hollywood sort of made his father angry. But even without that familial discord, Sage Stallone is hanging out with the likes of Quentin Tarantino now, so I doubt he would have dropped everything to costar in a movie about a 60 year old boxer going in for one last fight. One also wonders if Talia Shire took a look at the prospects of playing Adrian once more and said no, prompting her character's death before this movie takes place.

  • If you've seen Rocky V, you already have lowered expectations... lower them further. This cow is dry. Put it this way, Stallone's costar in Rocky V, Tommy Morrison was a part of a more compelling aged boxer coming out of retirement story than that Part VI possibly be.

  • When I want to see a movie about an older man fighting, that's what Diggstown is for, after all, Louis Gossett Jr. was 56 when he made that movie.

  • Think about other movies that were the sixth part of a series... Police Academy, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and think about just how good they were. Oh, and I can't fail to mention Leonard Part VI when talking about titling.


Saturday, December 9, 2006

From Hedonism to the Hague: A Culture Kills Comic

Evolved from lower species of comics through the environmental catalyst of Strip Generator.

Culture Kills Comic: From Hedonism to the Hague



Blogger has not been playing nice with the comics the last few weeks, so I have decided to Flickr-ize the whole process, and as such there will soon be a more formal repository for these comics in the near future.

Friday, December 8, 2006

Week 30: Pageant of the Transmundane

Welcome to the wonderful world of Disney... err, rather the dingy world of a Dairy Queen in northern Wichita, KS. It is once again time for the crew of one at Culture Kills to determine who was the most transmundane this week.

There were quite a few viable candidates this week, truth be told, though at the end of the day, it all came down to a strange juxtaposition that I just couldn't forget.

So it was that early this week, Jeremy Barker over at Popped Culture discovered and posted a Brilliant mashup of Requiem for a Dream and Toy Story 2. It is breathtaking how well the two movies synch together. It is a masterful piece of satire, truly it is.

While this award may not be as sweet as a Canadian Blog Award, it still has its charms, and you were more than deserving. So it is that I present you with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award, and as some of the other content of that post had to do with the act of putting things together to make something more complicated, well, the picture just sort of fit really.



Congratulations Jeremy on your first win of this award. Huzzah!



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

News from the Whedonverse

I have not one but two communiques about the Joss Whedon universe to report today.

First, there is going to be an 8th season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer... but it is going to be in comic book form. Whedon is set to write the first four and last four issues of the roughly thirty issue series along with selected books throughout the run. For the Robot Chicken fans out there, I am hoping that at least one of the stories involved possessed Cabbage Patch Kids dolls -- I am just saying. Because of Whedon's strong involvement, these story lines will also be part of the Buffy canon, so for fans they seem to be must buy items.

The second development surrounding Whedon is the announcement that 20th Century Fox in partnership with Multiverse Network Inc. are in the process of developing a MMORPG based around Firefly, though the project won't launch until sometime in 2008, I am sure those who were loyal to the show will be willing to wait just over a year to start their interactive journey through that universe. Of course, at this time there is no word of any involvement by Whedon himself, but that may be misleading. Time will tell how much if any involvement he will have on the project, though at this time I assume it will be minimal what with him working on the comic and a screenplay for Wonder Woman, but the possibility is still there for Whedon to shape this project as well.

So for all the Whedon supporters out there, it seems like there are going to be a few new options to explore in the near future for your fandom.

Thursday, December 7, 2006

The Unwritten Rules of Transmundanity

Over the past half-year or so, I have developed a few additional guidelines for the Pageant of the Transmundane that I haven't as yet disclosed to everyone, but now seems like as good a time as any. These are some of the additional criteria that entries face in the judging process.

I can't give awards to things I haven't seen: This basically explains part of the reason why the blogs that are on my sidebar tend to also win this award. I see them all the time and as such, they have a better opportunity to win. That is why I implore people to send me new entries... so that I have a wider perspective on the oddity throughout the community. And as often happens, winners of the Transmundanity Award tend to end up on my sidebar.

If you win it, acknowledge it. As past winners know, when you win the award, I usually tell you in the comments of the winning entry, and in my mind, it seems like common courtesy for the winner to at least drop by and accept their award, so to speak. There have been a few winners that I never heard from or saw after they won, and truth be told, that sort of hurts their chances of collecting another one.

If I am guest posting, that blog may not win the week I am guesting and the following week
. I just feel that this is a simple matter of ethics, as I would be in essence giving the award to a blog that I had a vested interest in. Thus, the weeks I was a guest poster at Apropos to Something were not eligible for the award and when Jess came back, he was still not eligible for the following week just to be safe. By the same token, if a blog has just won the award, I don't feel comfortable guest posting the week following its win(the duration of the award period that lasts until the next award is given).

If you are my tenant: in my mind, the process of becoming my tenant is one in which you submit your site to scrutiny by me, and as such, choosing something that you have done is fair game. I put it on the same level as if you had sent me an email asking me to check you out.

If a person or blog has won the award one week by doing a certain type of activity, they will have a tough time winning it the next week doing the very same thing. Thus, if you post a video or audio track of yourself doing something and you continue doing that, you will not likely win the award again even if your more recent work is more daring than the award-winning one. Time does factor into this however, so you may win at a later date with another entry like your original one.

All other things being equal, original content trumps referred content. Simply put, if two entries have a roughly equal chance of winning the award going into Friday, the entry that is the work of the poster will win over an entry which features an externally created video or other content.

All other things being equal, a non-winner trumps a previous winner. It isn't fair I concede, but it generally works out that way. If I have a great entry from both a previous winner and someone who has never won, I tend to go with the person who hasn't won it before.

On a collaborative blog, if the person who posted a potential winning item is no longer with the blog and I know about it beforehand, that blog will most likely not win. This issue has come up very recently, and as such, a very good entry is being denied a prize because the writer is being forced out of that blog because of another entry they posted, and part of me feels that I should not reward that kind of behavior.

Even I have my limits. I admit that I am willing to go pretty far out there and am pretty tolerant as things go. Of course, there are things which shock and stun me in the blogging community which I have chosen not to reward. There are some fine lines that I am not willing to cross in the name of entertainment or amusement, and as such, I tend to lean to no when these entries come up. This unwritten rule applies to entries only, and it doesn't tend to color my perception of a blog as a whole. The rule of thumb tends to be "Would I be comfortable being associated with this?", and if I think that I will ultimately regret giving the award to an entry based on that standard, then that pretty much decides against a candidate.

So if you find yourself asking yourself why a certain blog or entry won, keep those rules in mind, as they may answer some of your questions.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

A Message for Whitney Houston and the rest of y'all


Just Say NO to Crack.

20-20-20-24 hours to go... she wants to be elated!

Culture Kills hits milestone: 300 posts

This is not a clip show. I repeat, this is not a clip show episode. That would be too easy for me, and I promised you all something better than that. I will link to a few things, but really, this is more the story of the story than me trying to sell a couple of my entries to get some more views. I am going to have a favorites section soon.

This blog has only existed for 222 days so far, so I am a little surprised to be writing this entry today. I mean, this is a milestone I didn't think I would reach when I started, let alone so fast, and with so little filler. I can admit that yes, there were posts which I didn't need to make, but I chose to anyway -- well, I didn't need to make any of them, but you know what I mean. For most of the things I've written, I still can't tell you what month I posted them them up because in reality, nearly every entry seems like I just wrote it last month. It feels like I just thanked all my loyal readers in October, but in reality, that was way back in July.

So, let's start this little jaunt with three famous words: in the beginning of this mammoth undertaking, I didn't know a lot of the things that would come up. I didn't know that I was going to be doing a comic every week, or that I was just going to decide one weekend to start giving out an award after hearing a particularly haunting rendition of the Divinyls "I Touch Myself". I had modest goals when I began... simply to enjoy the ride and leave my previous blog's baggage behind, and I did that in the most spectacular way possible.

I could also have never predicted that a little piece on Chinese food containers would end up being the most commented article I would write on this blog, or that I would lament about remakes as much as I have. And the fact that I finally feel secure enough to reveal my real name is another milestone for me.

Sure, I've tried a lot of different design elements, sidebar addons and different web programs, and yet in the end, I always come back to the most basic elements centering on what has been written. So it is that I bid a fond farewell to Cocomment, TornadoStream and all the others that had a place on my blog for a short time. You won't be forgotten... wait, yes you will. I had trouble remembering you just now. And yet, the plaid tartan has stayed. I bet you can all guess what my favorite color is by now eh? How long will the plaid stay? I don't know. That is a question I can't answer.

Sure, I jumped on a few bandwagons... like I got into the hype for Snakes on a Plane in a big way, and we all know how that turned out. OK, I admit it, I tanked that movie. I take full responsibility. I am sorry Mr. Jackson, I killed your movie by supporting it, and I am willing to take the asskicking you will probably want to administer at any time you wish to give it. Though by the same light, I am not sorry if that same brand of advocacy killed Smith. Maybe I should start going positive on the FCC and MPAA... and Jack Thompson too and make the world a better place.

Now do I have regrets? Of course I do. For starters, I wish I would have went with a cooler name. I mean, I had intended to only be Culture Kills... wait, I mean Cutlery until I found a better name, but I just couldn't come up with anything better and then I sort of, well, forgot that I was going to do that. Oops! But looking back now, I just think of the all the possibilities based on some of the things I've talked about:

B.A. Baracus says STFU with that Jibba Jabba!
85% Plagiarism free
Remake it and regret it
The Culture Warrior's foot and Anne Coulter's Ass: A wonderful combination
Everybody gets a cow!
The Young and the Transmundane
The Ego Trip of Ace Duel: Entertainment Commander

or I could have been smart and gone with Rantocracy... that could have worked.

I also should have taken up Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on their offer to publish the first pictures of Suri for on the condition that I stopped badmouthing Scientology. Now that's a regret and a half. How was I to know they were going to be so sought after. Let's just say I won't make that mistake again. Of course, there are still so many more mistakes to make.

So, in closing, I want to thank everyone who has joined this little journey through the underbrush of the entertainment/pop cultural world. I couldn't have done it without you all. Mem-oor-iEEES....

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Who knew Chris Rock could Predict the Future?

Well, this is some astounding footage... Chris Rock predicted something that just happened while he was doing his cable show.

You have to see this, I swear it is so worth it.

My mouth was agape. I mean the wording and everything was just stunning.

*I admit this is not my best post, but my next one will be much better.

Monday, December 4, 2006

Hey, Joe Pesci's back!

I was just watching a preview trailer for The Good Shepherd and who did I spy (pun intended) but Joe Pesci, and in a serious role no less.

It has been 8 years since he last acted in a motion picture, and considering his last 3 movies before this project were Lethal Weapon 4, 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag and Gone Fishin', now seems like as good a time as any for him to redeem his character once more. He is more than a caricature as an actor and it is good to see him working again.

I don't know if he plans on doing any more film work, but the movie does look like it would be a good final project if he decides to go back into seclusion, even if it is so he doesn't end up on one of those lists for the worst final roles in a career. But, I do look forward to seeing what he is going to bring to this dramatic party.

And I am sure George Carlin is going to continue to pray to him in any case.

Yet Another Missed Opportunity

My life has been one of missed opportunities which doesn't so much make me unique in any way but rather just feeling a tad unfortunate. This weekend I once again missed out because I failed to simply check something in a timely manner.

You see, on Saturday night, I started Yahoo! Messenger for the first time in days and I discovered a message which almost made me sick. I literally almost threw up after reading it. It was sent last Wednesday and read as follows:

This is **** ******* from Yahoo! Music. We have spoken before. Any interest in coming to Yahoo! Music offices in Santa Monica next Wednesday December 6 to meet the folks behind Y! Music and attend a live taping by a celebrity musician? Transportation and accommodations would be paid for by Yahoo!. If you're interested, please respond back and we will send you more details on a first-come, first-serve basis (we have limited availablility).

Suffice it to say, discovering it hours after I had put up the comic was much too late to take advantage of that offer from someone I had indeed spoken to often when I started one of the Y! Groups for Launchcast in early 2003. I know that the offer was on the level, as a few other individuals I know took the company up on it.

So let's do the checklist of ways this hurts:

1) I'm a pop culture blogger and I missed the opportunity to get inside one of the major online music websites for a day
2) I missed out on potentially meeting a celebrity musician or group.
3) I could have visited one of the biggest Internet companies out there... on their dime.
4) My best friend is currently in Pasadena(long story).
5) On Wednesday it was going to be clear and 70 Degrees in Santa Monica.

DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH! DOH!

Now I wonder what the next opportunity I am going to miss is going to be.

Saturday, December 2, 2006

That Mug Really Tied the Room Together: Another Culture Kills Comic

Strip Generator is not like Vietnam.

I guess this is what you get when you find a stalker in the alley.

That Mug Really Tied the Room together



Yes, I've seen that movie, you've seen that movie, we've all seen that movie. I knew I was going to do a comic where I paid homage to something, but I didn't know until tonight what that was going to be. Hehe.

Friday, December 1, 2006

Week 29: Pageant of the Transmundane

We have a new king, and tonight's his coronation.

When I started this award 29 weeks ago, little did I know that before week 30, someone would have the talents to win it 3 times. Of course, there are a few suspects it could be, but if anyone has seen the kind of crazy crap that goes on down in Florida, well, the new lord and master of this contest should not come as any surprise.

By now you have probably gathered that I am talking about Pointless Drivel. So what did he do now?

Well, he only took a few elements (a banana, a tub of yogurt and a set of felt antlers), and turned it into shameless comedy gold. He really upped the ante this week, and I had to give him the award. My wording after watching it was "Dammit! Fab won it again!" but I do have to admire the way he puts himself out there.

And what better way to reward a king but with the biggest ape of them all... a King Homer if you will, all noir-like.

Homer as King Kong

And that award naturally comes with a badge for the week...

week 29 Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award

...and in honor of this unprecedented level of achievement in the field of transmundanity, well, it is only fitting that Brad takes home an additional accolade. Therefore I have created a "Transmundanity Triple Crown" Award. Congrats on reaching a new pinnacle in strange behavior and just sheer oddness, so you are again a pioneer in this field and the hardware reflects that.

The Homer Simpson Transmundanity Triple Crown

Of course, on rare occasions I also make an honorable mention, and this is one of those times. Before Brad had made a rather public spectacle of himself and wowed this awards committee, I had received an email entry from Matt Finarelli at Deglazed with a story about a new kind of hunting ammo that is essentially a hard-packed herb and spice buckshot that seasons your game/fowl as you cook it. It has to be seen to be believed.

The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

The Tenant in Room 116: Say No to Crack

You all may have noticed that after about a two month break, I have decided to start renting out space on my blog again, and as I advertise, every renter gets a rather healthy write-up from me their landlord.

Now there are times when choosing a new tenant is a carefully weighed analysis of the pros and cons of a bunch of different blogs. And then there are those times when a blog just jumps off rental page and you know that you MUST rent to them. This was one of those times.

say no to crack

Anita Bath(I am always tempted to say Bidet there, but that isn't right), the proprietor of Say No To Crack, runs an excellent funny site, and one which I have a feeling may be in the running for one of my awards one of these weeks.

Let's start with her rundown of some great harmless Halloween Pranks and horrible costumes. I also learned so much from her piece on 10 things you don't want to hear in the locker room.

There is also the surprising celebrity revelations that come about when Anita put a picture of a monkey into the MyHeritage.com, especially since the person I most expected to see did not appear. And speaking of celebrities, Anita also took an in-depth look at the wacky world of celebrity baby names, with some fascinating results.

She also has a contest running, and even though I am competing to win in it, I would have been remiss if I didn't mention it.

So go on... you've got the power of comedy, celebrity and cash to compell you to visit. How can you beat that?