Culture Kills celebrates its Blogiversary

I started this blog early on the morning of April 28, 2006, or late late in the evening of April 27th(it was 2:22 AM), with no direction in mind, no real idea of where I would end up when I started out here at Blogger, and what a year(and 2 days) it has been.

For instance, I didn't know that in the space of roughly 24 hours at the end of every week that I would be handing out an award and putting together a comic at this time last year, but somehow I ended up doing both, though at times I am not particularly adept at the latter. And yet, that is exactly what has come to pass.

I've alluded to the freeform way this blog came together in a few posts throughout the year, and looking back at the things I've written about always surprises me. This is not a clip show however, as I've done enough of those. No, this is just a simple, understated celebration of another one of those milestones a blog has.

But I thought it would be funny to, I don't know, look back at what I said in my very first post at Culture Kills and see just how accurate my predictions really were:

This is not a high wire act. If I fail, then I am willing to accept that and go on.I just hope that the third time truly is the charm.

Hitting the one year mark is a good sign, and knowing that I have put down approximately 3 times more entries during this year than I did at my previous two blogs combined is also good for my esteem and the future of this blog.

I sort of feel like I am moving into a new apartment here… it is a little plain at the moment and the place needs a little sprucing up. Of course, it will take me a little time to get the place to better reflect my tastes and sensibilities (but I pray, not my housekeeping skills, because no one needs to see that). For starters, this blog’s name may change, as “Culture Kills… wait, I mean cutlery” may not really reflect what I am doing in this little green backwater of the blogosphere, so I may have to roll with what’s going on.

Let's see, I stayed at Culture Kills, and I did indeed stay green... though I don't know if I am in the backwaters or now. Part of me still thinks it is a little bit of a stupid name. I was contemplating moving away from the trademark plaid background of the site as well this week, but really, it is tacky and oh so me. It is like a nice warm blanket that I wrap around myself to keep me warm. I mean, what would I go to? Polka dots? Stripes? Random strings of flashing obscenities?

Nah. The Tartan is staying.

To begin with, I am… how shall I put this mildly. I’m cranky. Not in a bad way or anything. My crankiness is woven from the finest materials, the rich Corinthian leathers of the cultural universe if you will. Sometimes I am entertaining, sometimes I am annoying… and you have to take the good with the bad.

Yep... I am still as bitchy as ever. In fact, I am just a walker and housecoat away from being one of those grumpy old men who yell at kids for playing on my lawn.

Will you laugh? You just might. Will you continue to read this blog (by whatever name it takes)? Only time will tell.

Well, I did stick around, and I know a lot of you were around during my first few weeks, so I guess that held true as well. Of course, I've made quite a few more friends throughout the blogging world as well, and there are a few new things up my sleeve for the upcoming year as well. And for the bloggers out there that stoppped blogging during the past year, here's hoping you come back and do some of your best work. I feel like pouring a 40 on the street for those who no longer rock us with their blogging words, but alas, that is a waste of perfectly good alcohol, so I can't do it.

So what will the future hold for Culture Kills? As my past self said 367 days ago: Only Time will tell.

Tags: culture kills, blogiversary, clip show, blogging, tartan, bitchy, corinthian leather, grumpy old man, get off my lawn, stripes, cutlery, high wire act, milestone

Mr Mum, Not -- Mr Me

So the mother of my children has abandoned us this week. She went off today for a week at a spa. The kids asked me "why?" Going with the truth, I said that she wanted to get away from us. "Hopefully, she'll be back." We will just have to wait and see.

Others react to this in a common manner. "So you are Mr Mum this week?" I don't think so. They are talking as if I don't and never did anything; looking at me surely being unable to cope. Indeed, I'll tell you that I have been there before -- and for a four year stretch too.

You see we had our first two kids while their mother was studying part-time for her MBA. That took four long years. And during those years, I did everything (yes, including baby feeds but, no, not carrying to unborn children). But I did the cooking, washing, and other sundry activities on top of working. So I'll cope with this week just fine.

Now, I didn't expect any awards for this. It is what you should do. Although, I should also tell you that the day of her last exam for that MBA, I was fired. Yes, 'fired.' My services for most of these things were no longer required.

It turns out that I hadn't been doing a good enough job. It was adequate and by any normal standard exemplary. But, as I have blogged before, that isn't the standard of aspiration in our household. It is a higher standard. For four long years, she silently steamed at my poor performance, knowing full well that she didn't have the time or energy to wrest any tasks from me. But it was all over when that MBA was done.

So this week represents a move back to the past. Take, for example, the dishwasher. For the past four years, the philosophy has been that it can't handle the task itself. Instead, dishes need to be clean before they go in the washer. I have pointed out the environmental inefficiency of all this. I have also engaged in the two obvious errors: I have put 'dirty' dishes away and put clean dishes on another load. It is, quite frankly, hard to tell.

Indeed, sometimes I rush to get a load on, get it done and then put away before anyone finds out. But even then it is hard. I have to do more washing because there is always that one time in a thousand that some bit of food doesn't come off but gets baked on. Then the finger is pointed squarely at you know who and I have to apologise for thinking I could ever manage this task on my own.

Anyhow, this week, I can constrain the dish use and go through all this and cover for my own mistakes. And so that is what has been happening.

But things are not as unconstrained as when I did this the first time. A few weeks back, a hypothesis emerged that our son's, sometimes, poor behaviour might be the result of preservatives in his diet. I haven't read the science behind this. There currently is no point; he is on a diet. And let me tell you, there are lots of stuff with preservatives in it. I have no idea really. So the usual thing that might have occurred, some McDonald's to smooth the waters, isn't happening. Why, you might ask? She has converted our son this cause.

Our son knows that sometimes he doesn't listen and do what he is told. With everyone else around him doing that, it has also concerned him. The preservatives hypothesis has freed him from responsibility for his actions and he knows this. He happily tells me if he is not well behaved that perhaps there were some preservatives in his breakfast cereal or that someone at school gave him something he shouldn't have eaten.

Now, if he was more strategic, he might take this to another level and not keep me honest on his diet. Let me give him whatever and he would have some sort of free behavioural license. But no. He has a zealot to the cause and so we are constrained in our eating habits.

This fact is not lost on our eldest daughter who is strategic. Initially, she loved the diet because it satisfied her notion of fairness; "no one should get more than her." So she would still get the same food while her brother's meal changed to, let's face it, a less appetising variety. This was all to her liking and so she embraced the diet theory.

But that it all over. As the house was slowly cleared of food with preservatives, she realised that this was going to impact on her. In particular, she knew that when Mummy was away, there was a good chance of 'party time.' Now, with the writing on the wall, she is trying to move household opinion.

Here is what she has tried.

• "It's unfair. Can't he just come to McDonald's and have a salad?" "Well, I don't know if those are sufficiently preservative free."
• "Maybe we could go while he was somewhere else." "Well, that doesn't sound that fair."
• "How do we know the preservatives were causing his bad behaviour? He is not that well behaved now." "Well, it may take a while to work."
• "But still, to be sure, we should re-introduce preservatives to his diet and then see if his behaviour gets worse." "A randomised experiment, huh. Actually, that is pretty scientific."

That last one has the support of her brother who was also happy to test the theory more conclusively. It was pointed out to him that if we don't experiment then he will never have anything good to eat again. From this basis, an insurgency is brewing.

As I write this, I find their arguments compelling but the consequences of the several week's investing in a de-tox and reversing it with a single Happy Meal worry me. Sure, the theory might be wrong. But it could also be right. And the last thing I want is the responsibility for his poor behaviour to be shifted from everyone else to me. So for the moment, the regime is hold from afar; a stronghold Rome could have used.

Zooland tales: A Culture Kills Comic

I was watching Pulp Fiction before I put this thing together, and I think that shows.

Hurray to non sequiturs! Hurray to Strip Generator!

Tags: culture kills, comics, southland tales, zoo, goat, penguin, snail, turtle, tortoise, cletus, slack jawed yokel, strip generator

Week 50: Pageant of the Transmundane

Can you believe it is only two more weeks until the annual Transmundanity voting begin... I certainly can't. Seems like it was yesterday that I was first handing this award out.

So, this is one of those rare occasions where I don't tell a picaresque travel tale before divulging the particulars of the winning entry this week.

Notcot.com discovered a piece of table gaming gold that I would have been remiss if I passed over this week. So what wowed me this week enough that I just had to honor it?

How about a Foosball table that pits historical and literary good against evil. As a student of history and lit, well, I had to give some e-love to that table... as expensive and rare as it is.

I should also note that the only time I play foosball is when have been drinking, and usually at those times, it is an internal battle between good and evil, so yes, this seemed like the most appropriate graphic at least in my mind for this week's Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award. I knew eventually I would get one of those folksy things into this ceremony somehow.



Congratulations to the crew at NotCot. Here is a badge to honor your victory this week.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: notcot, homer simpson, pageant of the transmundane, foosball, alcohol, celebration, good vs evil, history, literature

Potato Chip flavor I want to see

We all know there are some weird potato chip flavors out there, especially when you start talking to people who live in different regions or countries from you. For instance, I never knew that Dill Pickle and Ketchup were somewhat unusual for a time in the United States. And I've heard about Lobster and crab chips in the Maritimes/New England and Poutine in French Canada and a variety of other taste sensations.

Now, I've tried some weird chips(I remember Cheeseburger-flavored chips from back in the early 1990's for instance), but there is a flavor that I always wished someone would make, and I can't find it listed on the rather definitive Taquitos.net site.

Stroganoff: It is sour cream, it is beefy, it is a little mushroomy. I mean, it seems like a slam dunk flavor to me, and since there is a Hamburger Helper called Potatoes Stroganoff, and in Brazil, Beef Stroganoff is sometimes served with potato chips, well, it makes the fact that there isn't a straight out of the bag version a little weird.

Is there any flavor you've wanted to try in chip form(Potato, Corn or otherwise)?

Tags: potato chips, lays, cheeseburger, lobster, hamburger helper, stroganoff, taquitos, ketchup, dill pickle, crab, poutine

Radio Revolution: The Rise and Fall of the Big 8

Seldom do I feel genuine pride in my hometown, though being of a historical bent, well, I have a tendency to find things that please me.

One of these things is knowing that a radio station here was to the Midwest in the 1960's and 70's what Mexican Radio was to the Southwestern states and Southern California. And it was the very same station my grandfather worked at as a security guard, so I have a familial connection to the place.

The documentary, Radio Revolution: The Rise and Fall of the Big 8, tells the tale of the glory years of CKLW, a station just south of the Detroit border that became a phenomenon and helped to change the face of modern radio and cable television.

The cast of characters is eclectic to say the least: a 19-year old wunderkind news director who would go on to record one of the most iconic spoken word albums of the 1970's, a secretary who became one of the most powerful women in music programming and the subject of a Bob Seger song and a program director who had such a feel for the format that he could tell when the clocks were off in the studios or the record players needed to be calibrated and a spasmodic newscaster who ended up winning the first Edward R. Murrow Award by a non-American news news team.

CKLW was one of the most influential stations in the Midwest during their prime, as it reached up to 28 states and 4 provinces, and if they played a record here, well, other markets would pick it up, a fact that wasn't lost on record executives. And because the station had a very integrated playlist and proximity to and close relationship with Motown, it was often referred to as the blackest white station in the world, and the list of artists that the station helped to stardom is a virtual who's who of the rock world.

And the 20/20 News segments were infamous for their sensationalism. I mean, the writing and presentation were almost poetic, like the headlines from a scandal rag in a James Ellroy novel, and given the fact that the station was covering Detroit in the late 60's and the 1970's, when violent crime was on the rise, well, there was quite a lot of gory details to report. In the documentary, one of the reporters stated that when he would go to conferences, he would often have to hide his id badge as CKLW was often critized as representing the worst qualities of newscasting. The documentary doesn't pull any punches about their style, and the reporters are the first to admit that they wouldn't tell it that way again.

But alas, their dominance couldn't last, as its strengths were taken away by a couple strokes of the pen with the introduction of stringent Canadian content regulations and a reluctance by the powers that be at the CRTC to allow the station to make the leap from AM to FM in the early 1980's. Of course, by that time, programming director Les Garland had gone on to cofound MTV(with a few stops in between).

The documentary tells an engaging tale, and as someone who is currently taking shots at the RIAA and Clear Channel, it is amazing to see how radio and the music industry used to be.

Of course, don't just take my word for it... check out a review at the Onion's AV Club or Variety.

Tags: cklw, radio revolution, am 800, big 8, rosalie trombley, dick smyth, les garland, mtv, clear channel, riaa, crtc, mexican radio, byron macgregor, the americans, cancon

A few gaming links

I am working on a couple of longer entries, so brevity is going to be hallmark of today's post which is just weird gaming-related links.

The crew at Gaming Tags solves the mystery about how weapons, items and gold are found on/in monsters after they are defeated.

A woman WOW player walks into Craigslist and makes a real world *ahem* arrangement for 5000 gold, and now I feel a little bit dirtier for having seen it.

Gamepro ranks the 52 most important games of all time. And they are wrong is so many subtle ways, and even though I do like their #1 choice, I don't agree with its placement there.

And for anyone who has played a game online... this one is for you.

Paul Levinson vs. Jack Thompson on CNBC's squawkbox

Sorry I haven't been bringing the high-quality original content that I usually do, but those longer posts are more in keeping with your expectations.

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry.

Tags: gamepro, world of warcraft, prostitution, 52 important games, xboxlive, online gaming, rpg, role playing game, gold, weapons, video games, sorry, paul levinson, jack thompson, cnbc, becky quick

Coming soon?

OK, so you knew it was coming. Here is Parentonomics, the preview site.

"Nice Girls"- A promising show in the midst of pilot season

I read about a series that is going to be starting next season on ABC that is described as such:

A sweet-natured young woman struggles to get ahead in the corporate world.

And I thought... hmm, that sounds really familiar... I mean, it sounds like a show that I really like right now.

But it isn't Ugly Betty... it is Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, based on the non-fiction books of Lois Frankel about women and corporate culture. The series follows the life and career of a sweet young woman named Angela, a real estate executive who is trying to make vice-president of the company she works for, and to do that, she is going to have play a little bit dirty.

Featuring Ugly Betty's Jayma Mays(she plays Charlie) as Angela, along with a former 24 president played by Gregory Itzin.

Now, I've really enjoyed Jayma Mays' character on Ugly Betty, as she is just so likable, and from the premise of her new series, I think she is going to bring a lot of that same quality to it as well. And since her secretary/assistant is the talented comic actress Jane Curtin, there is a lot of ways this could all go so right.

Of course, I realize that by talking about the show positively now, I am probably ensuring that it won't do well or maybe won't even make it out of pilot season, but hey, additional exposure may be good for this potential series.

Tags: jayma mays, nice girls, don't get, corner office, ugly betty, gregory itzin, jane curtin, charles logan, charlie, 24, lois frankel, pilot season

THIS.... IS..... SPARTA... err... SAN DIEGO!

I almost titled this little post "This... is... a Whale's Vagina" but I chickened out.

The 300 trailer meets Anchorman

If you really think about it, it does make sense given the available footage.

I mean, bombastic Will Ferrell and an epic Anchorman fight... it was pure mad genius to link the two.

Tags: anchorman, 300, sparta, san diego, will ferrell, mashup, video, whale, vagina, german, this is madness

Reno 911: Seattle - Deputy Exchange Program

Sometimes you have those rare moments when you find something unexpected when sifting through some things.

Hilly made an entry this weekend about comedians her readers liked, and to go along with my response, I went looking for YouTube clips, and when I was looking for Patton Oswalt there, I found another video which was a blast from the past.

You see, I used to hang around a few web design forums about 4-5 years ago, and everybody generally knew each other(there were quite a few member meetups throughout the years as well), and I was rather surprised to come across a video done by one of those very same forum members by happenstance.

The member in question put together a 10 minute slice of comedic gold called Reno 911: Seattle (Deputy Exchange Program), and it is very quotable(I think the second car scene at midway point in video is the funniest part of all). From what I gathered, it was an entry in a Reno 911 contest, with the prize being an appearance as an extra on the show.

Unfortunately, she didn't win, and I think that is a real shame because it is high quality work.

Tags: reno 911, video, seattle, patton oswalt, web design, deputy exchange, world of warcraft, pirate, ninja, dick 11, borg queen

This is your brain: A Culture Kills Comic

Strip Generator has given me a few more tools to play with now... so visually at least, these should become a little more interesting.

Still working out the kinks.

Tags: culture kills, comic, sarah, janine, drug psa, frying pan, demon, axe, evil, american idol

The World's Shittiest Mixtape.... NOT!

College Humor once again gave me something to ponder. Two guys made a bet about who could make, and I quote "the world's shittiest mixtape", with the loser having to carry a boombox blasting out the entire contents of the contest.

And while I do admire the fact that the loser did go out of the street with a big boombox for the after losing, I think that both contestants could have done so much more with the challenge.

I mean, in actuality, I would call what they ended up making at best a lame mixtape, because really, the barrel has so much more crap at the bottom of it and neither party got even close to scraping said bottom.

Paula Cole? Sixpence None the richer? Gloria Estefan? Really... this is the best they could come up with? The whole point of the exercise was not only did the songs have to be bad, but they had to be really embarrassing to be associated with.

Get some polka on that thing... some Tiny Tim, or some really weird found music. There was a lot of ways they could have made a horrifyingly shitty mixtape, and I just think they copped out.

When I started watching the video, I thought something like YMCA by the Village People would pop up or anything disco really. Or what about this. It looked like late summer/early autumn... why not Jingle Bells as performed by dogs. And the world of covers alone could have won that contest. The possibilities seem endless, but the execution was weak.

So, what would you have put on the world's shittiest mixtape?

Tags: college humor, mixtape, paula cole, gloria estefan, sixpence none the richer, ymca, singing dog, tiny tim, LFO, polka, boombox

Those simple pleasures

There are times when something so simple can bring so much joy to your life: seeing a celebrity fall on their ass, watching Ann Coulter getting freaked out by pastry and frozen shepherd's pie. Lollipops and butter are purely optional of course.

Today, I found another one of those joys. While I know won't win in the categories I am nominated in at the Blogger's Choice Awards, I am beating PerezHilton.com(who looks like a shoo-in for most obnoxious blogger by over 250 votes) in both categories, and I am beating USA Today's Pop Candy?!?!

I mean, I had to document at least part of that... because I have a feeling that it may change down the stretch, and I will have something to refer to later.



There is no shame in losing the award to Boing Boing, PostSecret or The Superficial, but making the cut above those two other heavyweights in my area... makes me feel damn good.

Tags: culture kills, blogger's choice awards, pop culture, pop candy, perez hilton, boogie nights, shepherd's pie, usa today, boing boing, postsecret, superficial

The Landlord Vs. Little Seinfeld

A few weeks ago, Will Ferrell and Adam McKay set up a comedy video website called Funny or Die, which has an American Idol feel to it. People submit videos, and if people really don't like them, well, they can basically vote them into a specific area of the site where they will receive very little traffic(though with enough votes, they may be able to come back to the main site.

The video that has been circulating most recently is a little digital video starring the founders of the site called The Landlord, which I admit was funny and surprising.

No, there was another video there that really caught my attention. Someone put together a little something called Young Seinfeld, and even though it doesn't make sense in terms of chronology, it is still pretty damn funny, especially if you are really familiar with the show.

And the online piracy PSA is great too.

Check them all out.

Tags: funny or die, will ferrell, adam mckay, young seinfeld, costanza, elaine, kramer, piracy, danny glover, baby, landlord, pearl, video, american idol

Burning Question: A franchise that should reinvent itself?

After seeing Casino Royale a few weeks ago, a movie which reinvented the Bond franchise with a harder, cleaner and more realistic line, it made me wonder if there were a few other movie series that could do with that same kind of reinvention. On the television end, Battlestar Galactica, seems to also be doing well in this kind of reenvisioning, so there another recent precedent for this kind of work.

Now I am not talking remakes(even though technically, Casino Royale was a remake itself), sequels that advance a world or story in a different direction.

Alien: Alien Vs. Predator doesn't count(because it makes absolutely no sense from a chronological standpoint). Ellen Ripley was a compelling character, but the threat from the Alien horde transcends her, and in the hands of a capable director and good screenwriter, I know there is more story worth telling in this universe without Ripley.

Gremlins: I admit, this one seems really really weird, but hear me out. It has been 17 years since the substandard and self-parodying Gremlins 2: The New Batch, and again, there are some story left to tell, and there is plot element that the original script of Gremlins had which Steven Spielberg had removed. Gizmo was supposed to become Stripe in that movie, but that was changed in a later draft of the script because he felt that such a change would have confused people. I think it would be a great final chapter for these movies. I think it is time for that vision(helmed again by Joe Dante), to make it to the screen.

So, are their any movie/television franchises you think need to reinvent themselves?

Tags: casino royale, gremlins, joe dante, alien, predator, battlestar galactica, spielberg, james bond, reinvention, gizmo, stripe, new batch, ellen ripley

Her Majesty's Beneath Surface: A Culture Kills Comic

Generator. Strip Generator.

Just riffin' on the James Bond thing. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't.

Tags: strip generator, culture kills, comic, james bond, bunny, moleman, on her majesty's secret service, punchline, spy, gun, parody, trix

Week 48: Pageant of the Transmundane

Welcome to the wonderful world of, let's see here... Tulsa, Oklahoma. OK, scratch wonderful and the idea of worldly as well. You get on one wrong plane, and this is what happens.

Anyway, while I wait for the lawsuit from their Tourist board, I thought that now would be as good a time as any to hand out an award.

This week's winner was found in amongst the stacks at quixoticals, a blog created by Christopher Trottier. The subtitle is "a gallery of unusual things", and we here reward the unusual, even if it is rooted in something that is mundane, thus transmundane. In this case, it involves bacon and eggs.

Now Homer would say MMMMMMMMMM to bacon and eggs, I know, but not like this. Sometimes I tell you what the link is going to be about, and sometimes I don't, and this is one of those things you have to see to believe. All I am going to say.

The image chosen to represent this find is also cryptic, but should indicate that you should be afraid. In truth, I couldn't find an appropriate bacon or egg-based image, so this will have to do for this week's Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award.



Congrats Christopher. You shocked me good and that is worth a prize.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: homer simpson, pageant of the transmundane, tulsa, christopher trottier, quixoticals, bacon, eggs

Would You Rather and Famousr

There was a little game that I've played amongst my friends for many years, and I am sure that more than a few of you have played a variation of it. That game is "Would you rather?" in which participants are given a choice between two alternatives (both either really bad or really good) and they much make a decision as to which is preferable. Neither is a copout answer, and as such, that person is generally scorned by the rest of the group, and speed is a virtue in this game.

Of course, me and my friends played it a little differently. We played "Who would you rather?", throwing out two celebrity names and seeing who more would prefer to sleep with. Now, I played the game with members of both genders, so it wasn't the chauvinistic thing it seems at first, and if you haven't tried it with a friend, it is great fun(and great blackmail material as well).

But the true fun of the game was derived from repeatedly asking someone to make the decision about a single person until they are eliminated or chosen. For instance, if you asked someone to choose between James Woods and Edward James Olmos, and they chose James Woods, you would continue to ask them to compare other actors to James Woods until he was no longer chosen, or compare Edward James Olmos until he was chosen. After a while, you start to see trends and limits of both ends of the desirability scale, but as you play, well, you always find a surprise at one of those ends.

The reason I bring this up, is I was reminded of this game when I was playing around with a feature of the relatively new site Famousr.

You see, there is a database of 8000 actors, and as people play the game of determining which actor in a random pairing is more famous, statistics are being compiled... and an interested party can put in two names and see who is more famous based on those statistics.

Now finding someone who is more famous than someone else is sort of easy, much like it is easier to find that one person to top them all in "Who would you rather?". But finding that person at the bottom of the heap, the most shudder-inducing person is where the diamonds are found.

Therefore, my challenge is to find the least famous listed person on the site(and since it has only been up for about 4-5 days, there are a lot of people who are not yet listed, so my memory for names and faces is making this harder than it may have otherwise been). So far I am at Stephanie Hodge from Unhappily Ever After, but I know that there are less famous people on the site(though not being able to find someone may be an indication that they are not famous enough).

Anyone else want to play?

Tags: famousr, who would you rather, grindhouse, stephanie hodge, unhappily ever after, james woods, edward james olmos, blackmail, game, scruples

"My last words? Life is no way to treat an animal, not even a mouse"

"I am a humanist, which means, in part, that I have tried to behave decently without any expectation of rewards or punishments after I’m dead."

I've bookended this post with two quotes from the Kurt Vonnegut collection God Bless you Dr. Kevorkian, as they seemed strangely relevant, as did the title of this post, which came from I Love You, Madame Librarian.

How do you eulogize a man that was one of the most influential writers of the late 20th century, a literary giant whose ideas changed more than one generation for the better?

I remember reading Harrison Bergeron when I was in high school, and quite a few of his other novels throughout college, and I was especially drawn to The Sirens of Titan, and it makes sense as I was to later learn that it was one of the novels that was influential on Douglas Adams. His work exposed me to a greater depth and range of satirical writing that I may never have known, and for that, I will be eternally grateful.

His hometown, Indianapolis had decreed that 2007 was the Year of Vonnegut, and Kurt Vonnegut was scheduled to give the 2007 McFadden Memorial Lecture on April 28th, and receive the first annual Kurt Vonnegut award that same day. It is odd timing, no matter how you look at it.

Eulogies from my fellow bloggers: Indexed and Electronic Cerebrectomy

"Ta ta and adios. Or, as Saint Peter said to me with a sly wink, when I told him I was on my last-round trip to Paradise: “See you later, Alligator.”

Tags: kurt vonnegut, eulogy, sirens of titan, 84, death, god bless you, mr. rosewater, dr. kevorkian, indianapolis, year of the vonnegut, harrison bergeron, saint peter, remembering

Anna Nicole Smith Biopic in the works

Note: I am as surprised as you are that I am writing about one of these people I am in this post. Do not worry, I am not going soft on you all, it was just the story needed to be written about. I also swear that any information I provide is accurate in so much that the celebrity in question disclosed it in the single one page interview they were a part of a few years back. I repeat, I've read a single print interview.

With that being said, I can begin.

Remember Willa Ford, you know, that girl who wanted to be bad. Yeah, her.

Well, it seems that she is going to be playing the late Anna Nicole Smith in a movie.

The former singer, Playboy model, Pussycat Doll, pageant host and Dancing with the Stars contestant has only acted in one episode of the short-lived sitcom Raising Dad, though she has appeared as "herself" on a couple of other series. But honestly, does she have the chops, the life experience, the understanding of where Anna Nicole Smith went in life? Errr... ok, strike that. I think aside from the drugs(wait, she had some funny incidents with sleeping pills, so strike that too), she has a perfect understanding of where Anna Nicole has been. Except about having a different name professionally than in real life. I mean, it isn't like Willa Ford isn't her real name... wait a minute, she was born Amanda Lee Williford (strike three).

Ok, I guess I have to admit it, it is great casting then. I mean, by her own admission, she is known as "Mando Commando" by her friends because of her habit of not wearing underwear.

Part of me can't wait to see this "actress" reenacting the Anna Nicole Show... now that is going to be special.

On some level, I think I just overdosed on reality television there.

Tags: anna nicole, blender, willa ford, mando commando, ambien, playboy, pussycat dolls, dancing with the stars, reality tv, movie, amanda lee, howard k. stern, independent film, i want to be bad, dancing with the stars

Post-Easter Malaise

Well, another holiday has come and gone, and well, I thought it would be interesting to just post a couple of items I thought were interesting that were wrapped up yesterday.

The Office's B.J. Novak busts Cadbury for telling people that their Cadbury Eggs haven't gotten smaller. Bastards!

And Easter would have rocked so much harder if this was the Easter Bunny, wouldn't you agree?

Tags: conan o'brien, b.j. novak, cadbury eggs, smaller, godzilla, easter

I've been nominated for an award

After handing out awards for nearly a year, I have found myself nominated for an award or two myself.

Thanks to Dutchy, I find myself in the running for two Blogger's Choice Awards in the categories of Best Pop Culture Blog and Best Entertainment Blog.

I am a realist, and I know I likely won't win in either of the categories I am nominated in (as there is a lot of quality work in both sections), but I would like to at least do respectably, and I know that a lot of my readers are registered at the site as voters, and I was wondering if you could... I don't know, vote for me in those two categories.

Please, will you vote for me? Pretty please?

Tags: blogger's choice awards, pop culture, entertainment, voting

I admit I was wrong

Last December, I wrote a blistering post listing reasons why Rocky Balboa would suck.

Having seen the movie on DVD over the weekend, I have to admit that I was wrong.

Yes, I said it. I was wrong.

A lot of critics said that the movie went back to the roots of the franchise, and I had a hard time believing that at the time, but it is the truth. It moved away from the cartoonishness of parts III-V, and towards a more realistic portrayal of the character, the neighborhood and the personalities. It took a slower, more methodical pace to telling the story. And his opponent, Mason Dixon, wasn't pure concentrated evil and malice like Clubber Lang or Ivan Drago, but a more realistic boxer, one who had issues as well.

So again, I admit that I was wrong. It was a much better movie than I was willing to give it credit for.

Tags: rocky balboa, decent, well-acted, wrong

Fishheads, Fishheads: A Culture Kills Comic

Made with StripGenerator.

If you didn't know it(and how I envy that bliss of ignorance), there is an actual Fishheads song.

Hate me now and hate me later for (re)introducing that little slice of Bill Paxton into your mind.

Tags: fishheads, culture kills, comic, bill paxton, stripgenerator, weird video, weird subtext

Week 47: Pageant of the Transmundane

Well, this week I am not reporting from a theatre showing an asskickin' double bill, but there is always next week for that kind of thing.

Rather, I am reporting from inside a CIA vault surrounded by relics of a certain Renaissance inventor and seer named Milo Rambal... and I am being warned by a rather imposing bald man in a black suit and red tie with a bar code tattooed on the back of his head that I've said too much.

Anyway, earlier this week, Jeremy Barker from Popped Culture did a little bit of work on Photoshop, and well, one thing led to another and on April Fool's Day, a new masterpiece was revealed, one that makes me want to scream out the name of a city state.

Let Spartan Babies, shock and awe you. It is oddly disconcerting, and yet so hard to look away from, and as you know, that is the kind of stuff that wins this award.

And for this very Greek perversity, well, a little bit of Homer undertaking his own ancient odyssey seems most fitting. Thus we are again pleased to



Congrats Jeremy on win #2.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: homer simpson, pageant of the transmundane, popped culture, jeremy barker, 300, gerard butler, spartan babies, photoshop, odyssey, thermopylae, leonidas, sparta

Culture Kills and the Video Game Meme

This meme is similar to one that I posted a couple of weeks ago, and because this is a lazy, Good Friday, well, I thought I would alter it to deal with another one of those interesting cultural phenomenon... gaming.

1. Name a game that you've played for over 100 hours or beaten 5 times of more.

Final Fantasy III(which was really VI)-Both, Chrono Trigger(beat 10 times), GTA:SA(more than 100 hours), NCAA Football 2000(25 seasons, every 12-14 games a year at about 1 hour a game.... you do the math) and Europa Universalis II.

2. Name a game that you've been Captain Ahab-obsessed with beating, but it eludes you like that White Whale.

Time Lord for the NES... I've come close so many times, but it beat me back every time.

3. Name a company or franchise that would make you more likely to play a game.

If Rockstar makes it, I will usually give it a go as they do excellent work.

4. Name an company/franchise that has burned some bridges for you.

Tiburon, makes of Madden really pissed me off when they removed custom playbooks from the franchise mode of that series. The lost me then.

5. Name a game that you can and do quote from.

Grand Theft Auto, of course. Time Splitters: Future Perfect(It's time to SPLIT!) and Red Dead Revolver/Gun.

6. Name a game soundtrack that you know all of the lyrics to, or one that you bought after hearing it in the game.

I own the soundtrack to Wipeout(no real lyrics to know for that anyway) and I know the lyrics to every song on Gran Turismo 2.

7. Name a game that everybody should just shut up about already.

God of War... it is good, but it's not THAT good.

8. Name a game that you would recommend everyone play.

Red Dead Revolver is a underappreciated gem and The Peace Keepers from the SNES was also overlooked.

9. Name a game that you dominate.

I went undefeated for a 7 season period in NCAA Football 2000.

10. Name a game that you initially hated, but grew to love upon giving it a second chance.

Definitely SOCOM... I didn't get how anyone would find that frustrating game fun... and then I played SOCOM 3, and now I love them all.

11. Favorite arcade games?
Xain'd Sleena, Super Dodge Ball and Spy Hunter

12. Ever used something you learned in a game in a real life situation?

From Flying Dragon, I figured out how to flip/throw someone over my shoulder, and that you have to admit, is pretty cool for something gleaned from a NES game.

13. Name a game that you keep meaning to try but just haven’t yet gotten around to it.

I want to try Shadow of the Colossus and I still need to play Bully

14. Ever taken a game back because it sucked?

I took Madden 2006 back because they took out that aforementioned feature I referred to earlier.

15. Name a game that made you cry because of the story/characters(and not out of frustration).

After my grandmother died, there is a scene in Final Fantasy VI that made me cry involving Cid, Celes and an island. If you played it, you probably know what scene I am talking about.

16. Do you own games that you've never played(this includes games that you've bought, put in the machine and played once or twice)?

I played Half Life and The Thing from the PS2 twice a piece.

17. What older games would you like to see a new version/sequel of?

Super Dodge Ball(I would pay so much money for this), River City Ransom, Guardian Heroes and Gun Griffon.

18. Did you ever own a weird peripheral(Dance pads/faux guitars included)?

I had R.O.B. the robot and the power glove... I think the answer to that is yes.

19. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of game?

I am a rather balanced game player, though I do have quite a few shooters... I used to be a RPG fan, but now, not so much. I own a lot of sports games too.

20. What’s the first game you remember playing on a console?

Centipede on the Atari(it was really a Gemini system, but it is the same difference really).

21. What are some of the worst games you've ever played?

Raiders of the Lost Ark, M*A*S*H for the Atari and Taboo for the NES

22. What is the weirdest game you enjoyed?

The easy choice for this is Katamari Damacy/We Love Katamari

23. What is the scariest gamimg moment you've experienced?

The first time I saw the Giant Baby in Zombies Ate My Neighbors. Tension has played a big part in some of my greatest game moments throughout the years.

24. Have the games you wanted as a kid been made yet?

I wanted a driving game where you could decide which way you were going to go at any time in an urban environment... and we all know how that turned out, don't we.

Tags: grand theft auto, meme, flying dragon, zombies, giant baby, super dodge ball, river city ransom, video games, socom, final fantasy, chrono trigger, rockstar, madden, red dead revolver, god of war, gran turismo, time splitters

Remembering The Manhattan Project

I was recently thinking about some of the movies I saw in the mid-1980's that they used to show on TV all the time that they don't really show anymore and the one title that I kept thinking about was 1986's The Manhattan Project, a stylish, if not implausible, cautionary tale about nuclear weaponry. And if you've read my other "remembering" posts, you know this isn't a four star movie, but it is still something worth seeking out. I will say that it is likely better than many of the other movies I have recommended however (Roger Ebert would agree)

The movie stars Chris Collet(whose film career was blink-and-you'll-miss-it short), John Lithgow, a young Cynthia Nixon and various other people who'd you'd recognize upon seeing them. Lithgow plays a nuclear scientist, Dr. John Mathewson, who developed a way to produce plutonium of extreme purity, and because of this work, the US Government builds a lab in suburban Ithaca, New York under the front of a medical research company called Metatomics. Mathewson meets a real estate agent, and in trying to impress both her and her brilliant son, Paul(Chris Collet), who realizes that the lab is not what it seems... especially when he discovers a series of items which probability determines shouldn't be there.

Because of the nature of his personality, this blatant dishonesty really bothers Paul. So he decides, along with the help from his girlfriend Jenny Anderman (Cynthia Nixon) to expose the lab's activities by stealing some nuclear material from the lab on a rainy night and then building a working atomic device for a Science Fair to ensure that the story gets both the attention and dissemination he believes it deserves. Little does he know that the materials he used to build the bomb are so potent that it poses an eminent threat to a far greater area than any one town or city. I am going to leave you hanging on what happens next, as I would be a terrible host if I wrecked the whole thing for you.

To me(and truth be told, to a lot of critics as well), The Manhattan Project serves as almost a companion piece to John Badham's WarGames, as both stories deal with teenagers doing mischievous things involving nuclear weapons that may have devastating consequences. Of course, one movie become the iconic hacker movie and the other slinked off to obscurity, but they are both worth seeing, especially if you can manage to get them both for a nice 1980's double bill.

Tags: manhattan project, wargames, john lithgow, cynthia nixon, john badham, science fair, nuclear, weapons, plutonium, 1986, movie, ithaca, new york, double bill

The Sopranos recapped in 7 minutes

With the final episodes of The Sopranos beginning their run this weekend, this little piece of video seemed appropriate to post today.

The Sopranos, to this point, in 7 minutes.

For those of you who have forgotten some of the plot points going into these last episodes, or for anyone who wanted to get into the show and needs a thumbnail sketch of everything that's happened, this is your perfect place to start. I mean, as someone who has watched the series, it even gave me some new information to dwell on.

Because it goes through events so fast, if you blink, you'll miss something, as it is just the facts, just the facts in a rapid fire way.

Tags: sopranos, recap, hbo, final episodes, college humor, david chase, james gandolfini, edie falco

I am a hipster doofus now

I finally had one of those "indie" moments that everyone talks about. I had only heard about these incidents secondhand, much like an urban legend or an old wives tale.

And then, like I said, it happened to me. I liked a band/celebrity up until they got famous.

It took me a long time to understand the phenomenon, but when it finally hit me, it seemed so clear, though I don't know if my experience is the same as the one that has been previously described.

I am not going to mention the person/band that helped me to come to this realization, because then this would turn into a rant, and really, that isn't what I want this entry to be. Instead, in thinking about it, I came to a few realizations at to why this happened.

I was reading an article about said entity this morning and it hit me that they didn't have the same cachet in my heart that they once did after reading laudatory comment after comment about them. It was like I couldn't be happy for them that they are becoming so successful and well-known, and now I sort of resent the people who weren't on board earlier when it comes to their work.

And I know full well, I've been one of those people that were a late supporter of a band or celebrity, so it is really hypocritical of me to have those feelings. That's what is messing with my mind. I never wanted to be that kind of guy, and now I am. I am sort of turning my back on a performer who I've enjoyed for over a decade.

They are still the same performer they always were... they didn't sell out, so it is ALL me. Sorry to you, my purposely anonymous celeb/band. I didn't think it would end this way, but alas it has.

Tags: hipster, doofus, indie, music, celebrity, comedy, acting, singing, performing

Johnny Cash vs. Chuck Norris-- The winner is clear

10 reasons why Johnny Cash owns Chuck Norris

My question is: They could only think of 10?

Tags: johnny cash, chuck norris, owned, country music, man in black, walker, texas ranger

Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles is now a full site

The weekly alternative comic, Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles, which is one of my favorite strips ever, and I was pleased to discover that over the weekend, the strip has moved off of Neil Swaab's lovely site and been given a home of its very own at Mr. Wiggles Loves You.

Now I've mentioned the strip quite a few times over the past year in a lot of entries, and well, it makes me happy knowing that more people are likely to read it in its new location. If you've never read it before, well, it is sort of twisted(much like Donald Trump is sort of an asshole), so be forewarned, it may not be for you.

I always described the humor is "that's wrong, but it is just wrong enough to be funny". I've gone in that direction a few times in my own comics, but I don't have the balls to go all out for it, and that's why I appreciate Mr. Swaab's bravery in going for it.

I wish him all the luck in the world with this new venture and look forward to the promised animated versions of the comic he has promised.

Tags: rehabilitating, mr. wiggles, loves you, neil swaab, comic, teddy bear, wrong, funny, dirty, black comedy, cartoon