Game: February 2008

Friday, February 29, 2008

Week 42: Pageant of the Transmundane

The Pageant of the Transmundane is a fickle mistress. Sometimes it is a particular visual image or an odd juxtaposition in song or video that wins it all.

And ever so rarely is it an anecdote that wins out. But in this case, it is exactly that. I found a random entry from Jay Barnes talking about particular acts of animal husbandry that I don't care to mention in the description, but I will give you the title of the piece: Maybe the Dog isn't that into you. I think that gives you a hint of what it concerns.

And well, since we are talking about dogs that aren't really into someone, I thought that having a picture of Dogs that aren't really into Homer (with good reason of course) would be the most appropriate image for this week's Pageant of the Transmundane.

Congratulations Jay Barnes on this victory.

The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

It's funny 'cause it's true

"Creativity is just as important as literacy." Amen to that. Watch this video of Ken Robinson speak on what is wrong with our educational system.

A real nail-biter

In Slate, Emily Brazelon's son has taken to biting his nails. She goes through the potential cures and tries putting foul-tasting stuff on his hands but then relents. Suffice it to say, the problem hasn't been solved. Part of the issue, of course, is Brazelon's parents failed to cure her and she is still a nail-biter

For us, it wasn't nail biting but thumb (or in the case of Child No.3, two finger) sucking. What is more, it was a habit we actually encouraged. Rather than have to deal with a dummy (pacifier), we knew that if our babies could find their thumbs, it would be the key to them learning to settling themselves to sleep. This is something we achieved with all three of ours at 2 months and, generally, it helped stretch out the sleep intervals (by which I mean the length of time before they disturbed us).

But we knew we were setting ourselves up for issues -- social and dental -- later on. Our genetic experience was not good. I sucked my thumb until I was 11 years old. That left me with clearly visible (out of the lip) front teeth, my parents with a dental bill to cure it, and to this day my left thumb (the one sucked) is visibly narrower than my right. But I did give it up at 11 years old as the social pressure became obvious.

So what of our children that we deliberately hooked on to this habit? Well, in each case, thusfar, we have taken them at age 4 (just before we got adult teeth) and have intervened. At this age, it was enough that they realised it was a 'baby' thing to do and so there was some good amount of cooperation on becoming unhooked. The problem, of course, was the habit.

We considered fowl tasting applicants and tried it on Child No.1. This was abandoned the first night when we discovered her in the bathroom washing it off. So that was bad news. Although on the good news front, it is nice to see a 4 year old voluntarily using soap.

So I opted for another solution: about ten bandaids applied to them. It is hard to get off and also takes away the ease by which a thumb can get in the mouth. That did the trick. A few days later we were thumb free. So habits can be broken but cooperation and social pressure is a critical ingredient. On the economic side, I am sure our dentist will, however, find some other way to extract our money.

Parenting superpowers

Sometimes the mere application of statistical knowledge can give you abilities that seem super-normal to children. Let me take one example. I send my son upstairs to get dressed. Five minutes later I shout out "stop doing that and get dressed." My son comes downstairs dressed and asks, "how did you know I wasn't getting dressed?" I respond: "I see all, don't forget it."

In fact, I only see probabilities and let me tell you that there is no safer bet that my son has "got lost" before he has managed to get dressed. So an occasional shout out based on that bet and no observed evidence is a pretty safe one.

But this form of statistical superpowers doesn't always work: it may be a safe bet but it is still a bet. Let me take another example attempting to use a far more sophisticated super-power: statistics + game theory.

We came home the other night after going to our daughter's parent-teacher interview. Immediately, she bounded up to me and asked us how it was. Hmm, how unusual? I thought. Why is she so interested?

"So how did it go?"

"Well, you know?"

"I know what?"

"He told us about the ... incident."

"The incident?"

"Yes, would you like to tell me your side of the story?"

Sadly (for me at least), it transpired that there was no 'incident' (my supposition of poor behaviour or trouble) and that she was just interested in what the teacher had to say. There was no information to be extracted so freely. I maintain it was a good bet but the sad thing is that you can't play that card too often: statistics persists but a game theoretic advantage evaporates. I'll have to leave that one for a few more years.

I'm so Happy: The Mole is coming back!

There have been a lot of reality shows in my back catalog of television watching experiences. At some point, I think I watched most of the "quality" reality shows for at least a season (because Survivor and The Amazing Race are of a different caliber than say Flavor of Love or Kid Nation. But there are a few that really stayed with me.

But The Mole always had a special place in my heart. And that is even after the craptastic Celebrity versions which frankly were pale imitations of what originally drew me to the show. And then I read that the series was coming back to American television after so much time, and it felt like an old friend was returning for a visit.

I liked the show's complexities and the fact that those on the show actually had to earn the money for the pot that one of them would ultimately win. So it wasn't a set prize that the contestants could just glide up to at the end, it was a pool of money that everyone had contributed to. Of course, the challenges were tricky as well, because there were ways of losing money throughout the game. And that is where the aforementioned Mole comes in. If you haven't seen the series, there is a contestant on the show that is in reality working for the producers of the show to undermine the efforts of the team in subtle ways. And the audience watching at home doesn't know who the Mole is either, so it is fun for everyone involved.

But what I especially liked was the fact that elimination was based on mental acuity and deduction rather than votes within the group or other methods based on popularity or group strategy. It is what a contestant has figured out about the Mole that determines in they stay or go. Of course, this makes for some interesting strategy and alliances. For instance, it can be in an individual's best interest to tank a competition to cast doubts on one's motivations so that other players think you may be the Mole, and thus find themselves eliminated. Mensa named it the smartest show on television for a reason.

I mean, I liked the game so much that in 2001, I participated in(and cheated out of a win but that's another story) and then started my own online version of the game at Yahoo! Groups. I enjoy it that much. And while I didn't like the sound of the producers "simplifying" the format, I will still watch it and hope for the best. Hopefully there may be a Spy game in the United States someday as well. I just hope they get a good host for the show as well, because Anderson Cooper brought the right qualities to that job. Someone suggested Mike Rowe, and in some ways, that might not be a bad choice.

I have to thank Hilly for giving me a heads-up about this.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

New technologies for baby handling

Nothing for the really messy stuff, but the New York Times reports on technologies for dealing with snot, dirty dummies (pacifiers) and monitoring devices just in case your new-born starts to walk prematurely. The most intringuing is the LENA system that records conversations you are having with your baby and analyses them for developmental content. Although in my mind you can now pay to monitor your guilt. Can't wait to try it.

Internet dangers and kids

There is lots of hysteria about the dangers of letting kids surf the net freely. That has caused many parents to restrict those activities. Well, it turns out that much of the concern really is hysteria. This New York Times article by David Pogue reviews the evidence. It turns out that predation over the Internet is no more likely than predation anywhere else and the big issues comes from children wanting to seek out 'stranger contact.' He also finds the evidence on other solicitations wanting.

And then there is the whole issue of stumbling upon unsuitable materials. Here it is all about parenting styles:

One woman, for example, told me that she became hysterical when her eight-year-old stumbled onto a pornographic photo. She told me that she literally dove for the computer, crashing over a chair, yanking out the power cord and then rushing her daughter outside.

You know what? I think that far more damage was done to that child by her mother’s reaction than by the dirty picture.

See, almost the same thing happened at our house. When my son was 7 years old, he was Googling “The Incredibles” on the computer that we keep in the kitchen. At some point, he pulled up a doctored picture of the Incredibles family, showing them naked.

“What…on… earth?” he said in surprise.

I walked over, saw what was going on, and closed the window. “Yeah, I know,” I told him. “Some people like pictures of naked people. The Internet is full of all kinds of things.” And life went on.

My view is much like David Pogue's. Instead of banning or restricting net use we monitor it closely. My guess is that we can deal with the consequences like we would anything else they might happen across. Better this occur under our guidance than later on somewhere else where there is no one to step in.

The benefits are enormous. The Internet offers so much for kids and so much more if they are able to explore it and seek out stuff that interests them. It is an enabling technology that doesn't require leaving the house. How convenient is that.

Prince gets Hip Replacement

Speaking of Kevin Smith, former client and current antagonist Prince is having a secret hip replacement.

And the fact that I know about it shows you just how secret the procedure is. Yep... can't have surgery these days without the media and then bloggers by extension getting into your business.

Unfortunately, it is his real hip that is being replaced and not his metaphorical hipness, which is sadly also in need of some reconstructive work. We've all heard his work since Batman and it has been weighed, it has been measured and it has been found wanting.

And I'd be willing to give him a pass for that, but there was also that story about him going against the fan sites which support him and well, I can't let that slide. Yes, he recorded and wrote some great music once, but now he is an amusing anecdote and a shell of his former self as an artist.

Don't get me wrong. I wish him well as a human being, and I hope he recovers quickly from his surgery.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Kevin and Seth make a viral video parody

First it was Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon, and then Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck... and now there is an funny third act to this whole saga.

Kevin Smith presents I'm F*cking Seth Rogen featuring Elizabeth Banks. Of course, think about Kevin Smith and how safe his dialogue is for work before watching this, because it certainly isn't network TV.

I think it is really funny because Kevin Smith worked with both Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, and he is sort of stealing their thunder. Of course, when they were young actors they probably had to blow him to get their first parts in his movies, so in essence, Kevin Smith was the original party in all this. But what I especially liked was they didn't really try to make them seem like good singers.

Seems like a good viral video for promoting Zack and Miri make a Porno. I mean, until this video, I didn't know Tom Savini was in it, so I am starting to get a little pumped about this movie now.

Maxim Magazine: Losing the little credibility it ever had

If you haven't heard this story, it goes a little something like this:

Maxim magazine reviews the Black Crowes' new album, Warpaint, giving it 2 and a half stars and claimed that it hadn't given the band a lot of room for growth. The Black Crowes cried foul, as they hadn't released advance copies of the album to begin with, so how could Maxim have heard it to review it.

The magazine admitted that its reviewer indeed didn't hear the album and the review was in fact "an educated guess preview", but not marked as such and claimed that they made a decision between covering the band's first album in 7 years with a review and not covering it for a month, and that they chose the former.

Naturally, the band wasn't impressed by this, and I think rightfully so. They made comparisons to trying to review a movies one hadn't seen, a concert one didn't attend and books they didn't read and called into question their journalistic integrity, which again, has merit.

So Maxim apologized to their readers, but not to the band, which I think is an interesting strategy. I mean, most of the time, you apologize to the aggrieved party... I thought that is how that sort of thing worked.

To me, an apology to the band would have indeed been an apology to the readers by extension.

Now, as someone who has written reviews in both an amateur and professional capacity, I think that faking a review in the same ballpark as faking a story. It isn't the same magnitude of offense, mind you, but it is still very unethical. People put trust in a reviewer and their opinion, and by out and out lying in a review, Maxim has called into question their entire reviewing process.

Of course, if you are using Maxim magazine as your sole source of music reviews, well, you are certainly getting what you pay for. However, since the company behind Maxim, Dennis Publishing, also runs the music magazine Blender, and a lot of other magazines which also deal with reviews, including Auto Express, Computer Shopper, MacUser and the Fortean Times, all of which may be damaged by the actions of one editorial board. Because how do you know for sure that every review these publications run is for something that the writer has actually experienced because now there is some measure of doubt in my mind.

To me, I think that if Maxim magazine and Dennis Publishing wanted to really make a statement about this, they should suspend the reviewer in question. I mean, if MSNBC suspended a political reporter for making a crack about the Clintons using their daughter to garner celebrity endorsements, then certainly, this breach in ethics is certainly deserving of the same kind of treatment.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Guess the Celebrities, Round 2

If you missed the first edition of this game back in December, here is the rundown of how to play.

The basic premise is that I've chosen two celebrities and the system put them together and you have to figure out who is in the mix and post your answers in the comment section.

Unlike last time, I am not giving a hint, mainly because you all showed great skill in figuring out the pairings.

And again, correct guesses will receive some link love. Shall we begin?

1. Edward Norton and George Clooney: Guessed by Maven

2. Lacey Chabert and Jennifer Love Hewitt: Guess by Hilly

3. Steve Carell and Dane Cook: Guessed by Hilly

4. William Shatner and Nathan Fillion: Guessed by Hilly

5. Scarlett Johannson and Thora Birch: Guessed by Heidi

6. Julianne Moore and Heather Graham: Guessed by Heidi

7. Sarah Michelle Gellar/Prinze and Michelle Trachtenberg: guessed by Hilly

9. Rose McGowan and Salma Hayak: Guessed by Becca

10. Liv Tyler and Alicia Silverstone: Guessed by Hilly

Just 1 left to figure out.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Electronic Arts Attempts Takeover of Take Two

Electronic Arts has made a 2 billion dollar play for Take Two, saying that they were making the generous offer because the merger of Vivendi Universal and Activision into a single entity will knock EA down to second in the industry in terms of size and sales.

Now much has been made about the fact that the timing of this takeover is to capitalize on the release of Grand Theft Auto IV in April, which will likely be very, very profitable for whichever company holds the reins.

But I don't think this deal is about the Grand Theft Auto series, which seems to me to be more the gravy in this deal. Yes it will be a huge money maker, but I think there is another aspect to this attempted takeover that few people are taking into consideration.

I think this takeover has quite a bit more to do with Sports. Take Two's 2K Sports division is practically the only competition that Electronic Arts has in this particular arena, and by acquiring the company, EA would then in essence have a monopoly on almost 20 percent of the video game market. To me, that seems like a huge incentive to make this deal. Since Take Two has an exclusive third party agreement with Major League Baseball until about 2013, Electronic Arts would also pick up this little perk in the deal as well, giving them the exclusive rights to not only professional baseball but the NFL(which is also in effect until 2013 I believe), NCAA Football, FIFA, NASCAR and the PGA Tour. And given the fact that most of the 2K sports titles are reviewed better than their EA counterparts, eliminating the competition seems like a perfect strategy, because the point isn't to make money from the 2K Sports properties, but to halt them so that their EA counterparts are the only game in town. And sports are EA's bread and butter.

Think about the financial lengths Electronic Arts went through to protect their flagship title, Madden, from 2K's competing and more affordable football game. They signed a massive deal with the NFL and the Player's Association for exclusivity, just to remove the 20 dollar a copy thorn from their paw. So it wouldn't surprise me to see them buy an entire competitor to improve their standing in one area of the market.

Now you all know that I love Rockstar Games, but as a division, well, aside from the Grand Theft Auto series, their other titles just don't have the prestige or sales to make them a major force in the industry. But for its size, the division also brings along a lot of baggage to such a deal, after all, their titles have brought nothing but negative publicity to the company for a few years now and consistent losses. And there are a few other big franchises under the Take Two umbrella, like Bioshock and the Civilization series which seem like additional assets worth having in this deal, but even with these enticements, I still believe that this whole deal hinges on 2K Sports.

But no matter how this came about, I still think this will be very bad for gaming in general. Innovation is the life blood of this industry, and with more and more consolidation in the business, new ideas will become harder to find. I really don't want to see this merger happen, but if it does, I hope Electronic Arts pays through the nose.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Sunday Night Video: Boogie Wars

Paul Thomas Anderson didn't get any love at the Oscars, so I thought I would give him some half-humorous recognition today.

What happens when you take a movie that takes place in 1977 and mix it with a movie that came out in 1977?

You get Boogie Wars.

Star Wars is like the vodka of mashup matter... you can mix it with almost anything.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Lactose Intolerant: A Culture Kills Comic

This is the comic that was delayed by those Strip Generator problems last weekend.

Hope the wait was worth it.

The Tyranny of Plaid is over

Yes... indeed the day has come when plaid no longer rules the Culture Kills landscape, and another somewhat questionable background image has arisen in its place.

It was nearly two years ago when I cranked out the green tartan background, and even then, it had evoked some commentary from my peers. And yet, it was sort of emblematic of what this blog was all about: what it lacked in taste, it made up for with warmth. Oh, and it really tied the room together.

This was a tough redesign for me... especially since for at least 50% of it, I was trying to get my vision to conform with that Blogger layout system, a process which left me emotionally drained and ready to, as A Knight's Tale's Wat would say, fong someone. I will say that I am glad that the staff of Blogger had the good sense to let those of us with the old templates keep them, because editing the new layouts by hand is a tricky proposition. But in addition to the hardship the the prospect of abandoning a design which, while getting long in the tooth, had served me well over the years was difficult, as it was like I was losing a familiar old friend or a nice warm quilt on a cold winter's day.

I auditioned a lot of backgrounds. I mean a lot. I think I tried about 100 different patterns before settling on a creation of Squidfingers... that I then of course made my own. I saw a lot of really nice backgrounds in my journeys, but most of them weren't me, and were certainly not in keeping with the spirit of Culture Kills either. And while I am still not fully committed to the current one just yet, it is growing on me.

Yes, there are still a few tweaks that I am likely going to do over the next few weeks, but for the most part, I think the graphical part of this redesign is nearing completion.

Now the archiving... that is going to be a challenge.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Week 41: Pageant of the Transmundane

Ah, another week full of oddity and downright bewildering weirdness on the net. And with so many choices, I guess it all comes down to which strange thing I liked the most, which is always a great position to be in when it comes to award season.

So what captivated me this week?

Well, a blog called Stupid Random and Hilarious caught my eye, with one article in particular catching my eye.

It seems that a bar in Germany has come up with a rather unique way of skirting anti-smoking laws, and well, I admire the brilliance of the scheme. It is both rudimentary and yet innovative, and in a way, completely stupid as well, which is quite the trifecta if I may say so myself.

And of course, since this week's winner involves both smoking and a bar, well, an image of Homer smoking a cigar at Moe's(a bar which could charitably be called a hole in the wall) seems most appropriate for the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award this time around.

Congratulations to Kaileena Suza for finding this oddity.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

CBS Interactive brings Classic TV to the Net

I just read a story over at StarPulse that is just so awesome, I had to tell you all about it.

It seems that CBS Interactive is going to be streaming a lot of classic television series online for free. Well, it is ad-supported, but for all intents and purposes, it is free for people to watch online.

And they didn't start with less than their best either. The initial line up seems geared to please a lot of people and get a buzz going.

To start, the first seasons of Melrose Place, MacGuyver and Hawaii Five-O, all cultish shows in their own right and I am certain a lot of people would like to watch episodes of them online. Especially MacGuyver, because let's face it, .

But wait, there's more. It seems that the first two seasons of The Twilight Zone are also part of this initial push. I love this series and I am very pleased to see it more widely available online.
That is 65 episodes of classic twisted television gold, which includes such classic episodes as "Time Enough at Last," "Eye of the Beholder," and "Nick of Time" and so many more.

Oh and speaking of William Shatner, the entire run of the Star Trek, the Original Series is going to be available for viewing as well. I don't know if they are going to be the original versions or those remastered ones with the CG inserts, but I think it will likely be the latter. But I still think it is an incredible gesture on the part of CBS Interactive to make the entire series available 24/7 to fans of Star Trek. And I am sure, likely very profitable.

I am probably not going to be able to watch the above content because I am Canadian, and when it comes to streaming legal network television programming, I am basically scum because of it, but I am happy for all you lucky people down there in the Lower 48 who can partake of these series, especially The Twilight Zone, as I think that is one of the true gems of early television. I am also optimistic that other CBS properties will get the same treatment, like perhaps some of their socially conscious shows from the 1970's like All in the Family, Maude and Good Times.

Only time can tell what is going to be next for this particular enterprise.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The Spongebob Squarepants Crew vs. Classic Cinema

I just thought this was hilarious and yet not what I was expecting.

It is just so ludicrously silly and fun.

7 Pop Cultural Fact you May Not have Known

Yeah, 10 would have been better, but 7 is all I could think of at the moment.

The dog that played Jerry Lee in the original K-9 with Jim Belushi was a real police dog with the Kansas City, Missouri, named Koton. He was tragically shot and killed in the line of duty trying to apprehend a suspect who was wanted for the attempted murder of a police officer.

The first bare breast on television occurred in 1950, when talk show host Faye Emerson had a wardrobe malfunction and accidentally fell out of her dress. I guess we are lucky there wasn't a Parents Television Council back then.

The first recognized Gold Record was Glenn Miller's Chattanooga Choo Choo in February 1942. It was literally a copy of the album plated gold and framed. However, it was not the first million selling record... that distinction belongs to Gene Austin's "My Blue Heaven".

Cartoonist/Artist Robert Crumb traded six of his sketchbooks for a townhouse in the south of France. I am sure Picasso would be proud.

To think, if Texas cattlemen didn't sue Oprah Winfrey for false defamation of perishable food in 1998, Dr. Phil would likely have not come to prominence. Phil McGraw co-founded a trial consulting firm called CSI (Courtroom Sciences, Inc), and they helped prepare Oprah for the trial, after which, Oprah invited Dr. Phil on her show, and the rest is regretfully history.

The Nike Swoosh was designed for 35 dollars by a Portland State University graphic design student. 35 dollars in 1971 is roughly equivalent to about 185 dollars today, which is around the same amount as the price of some of Nike's premier shoes.

The Kennedy brothers were interested in buying the Philadelphia Eagles franchise in October 1962. But history conspired against them as another matter distracted them from such a purchase: the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Calling all JavaScript developers: Hack the Day Away with Google

By Ben Lisbakken, Google Developer Programs

On Friday, February 29th, Google will be holding a developer hackathon to get you started on our JavaScript APIs. We will be doing short introductions of the APIs and then breaking up into groups for coding and camaraderie. There will be plenty of Google engineers present to ask questions and get help from. Food will be provided and there will be prizes.

The event is open to anyone in the community that wants to learn about some Google API's, do some coding, or ask some questions. So please bring your laptops and come hang out at Google.

We'll be covering the following APIs:

The event will be held in two sessions, the first from 2:00PM - 5:30PM and another from 6:00PM - 10:00PM. You are welcome to stay for both.

Seville Tech Talk
Google Campus
1600 Amphitheatre Pkwy
Mountain View, CA94043

Friday, February 29th
2:00PM - 5:30PM
6:00PM - 10:00PM

To attend, all you need to do is RSVP and let us know you can make it, and be sure to add the event to your calendar.

Hope to see you there!

Another Street Fighter Movie: Oh the Humanity

They are making another live action Street Fighter movie? When did this happen? Who allowed this to happen? Haven't we all suffered enough?

I mean, I must have heard about this movie at some point and my mind decided to repress that information, because oh, the horror. I don't think anyone who saw the original 1994 celluloid massacre can forget it...so much film with such potential wasted on such a horrific and futile exercise. And to think that was one of Raul Julia's last movies, which makes the whole enterprise that much worse.

Apparently this new film will focus solely on Chun Li, the plucky, revenge-minded Interpol agent who is trying to avenge the death of her father at the hands of M. Bison.

So far the producers have cast Kristen Kreuk (Eurotrip) as Chun Li, Michael Clarke Duncan (Daredevil) as Balrog, Chris Klein (Rollerball) as Nash, along with Moon Bloodgood, Rick Yune (Die Another Day) and Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas.

Now let that settle across your palette. Yes, I deliberately chose those films to show you how bad the elements could be together even before we get to what looks like chocolate icing on the cake. It is being directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak who made DOOM.

I mean, if that isn't the elements of a perfect storm of crapulence, I don't know what is. Yes, Uwe Boll and Dane Cook aren't involved as of yet, but it just doesn't look promising to me.

Personally, I think if they are going to do it, the producers should just hire the people who were making The Later Years videos and make a total farce out of the whole thing. Or better yet, they should buy the rights to 1974's The Street Fighter starring super badass Sonny Chiba and show it in wide release. I am sure New Line Cinema would be willing to part with it and everyone would win in the end.

Monday, February 18, 2008

2 Year Old Birthday parties

Posted again this week, a classic from Dave Barry (click here). A teaser:

TODAY'S PARENTING TOPIC IS: Planning a birthday party for your two-year-old child.

The first thing you must decide, when planning a birthday party for a two-year-old, is: Should you invite the two-year-old? Because a child that age can put a real damper on a party. And probably your child doesn't really understand that he or she is turning two. One of the best things about small children is that they have no clue how time works. My two-year-old daughter believes that everything that has ever happened, including her birth and the formation of the solar system, occurred ``yesterday.''

Remembering Crank

It is an old plot structure really: A man who has very little time left to live sets out to make things right before he dies. Whether it is from a debilitating disease, poison, an injury or even karma, these kinds of stories do occupy a place amongst a wide variety of genres, but have found the warmest, and let's be honest, bloodiest home in the mystery/action/thriller section.

Case in point, Crank.

In Crank, hitman Chev Chelios, played by action stalwart Jason Statham, was drugged and given a Beijing Cocktail which will supposedly kill him in an hour by making his heart slow down and stop by inhibiting his adrenaline receptors.

To combat these effects and stay alive long enough to have his revenge against the gang who did this to him, Chelios must keep his adrenaline flowing by putting himself in dangerous situations and doing various other activities that will get his heart racing. From driving dangerously and antagonizing policemen and gang members to taking drugs and causing general mayhem wherever he goes. In fact, there are very few things Chelios won't do to stay alive within reason. And with some bloody revenge on the menu, it is sort of fun watching him work.

The filmmakers behind Crank sort of made an implicit agreement with the audience, that yes, while it wouldn't be John Woo, it would still be entertaining if you were looking for a certain level of frenetic violence, sex and insane stunts in your movie viewing experience. The background of Co-directors/writers Brian Taylor and Mark Neveldine is sort of freaky, as they each have a lot of experience doing a lot of different work in Hollywood over the past decade. There is stunt work, sound work, cinematography, acting, visual effects on their collective resume, so they did do their apprenticeship in the business before getting this opportunity. The pair have 4 more movies in the works, one of which I will mention in a little bit.

I think the most telling quote I can give you about the movie is Jason Statham admitting that the movie wasn't the greatest: "You ain't ever gonna get an Academy Award for doing Crank and you certainly won't for doing all the other movies I've done." I can only imagine the unholy mess that Dungeon Siege was, so I have to give him credit for acknowledging that his choices aren't the best artistically.

I didn't go into Crank expecting art, in fact, I had rather low expectations going in, but I was really surprised that I not only liked the movie, but found myself recommending it. Of course, after looking it up a few minutes ago on Rotten Tomatoes, I discovered that I wasn't the only one who liked it. Of course, I think one of the reasons I liked the movie as much as I did was I happened to have been playing Grand Theft Auto III right before I saw it, and the movie does seem to channel some of that same energy. In fact, Chev Chelios told his girlfriend that he was in game design rather than the truth that he was a hitman, so it is probably fitting that such a connection exists in my mind.

Of course, there is a reason I am discussing this movie today. You see, over the weekend it came to my attention that Statham, Taylor and Neveldine were currently filming a sequel/prequel (I don't know which) to Crank somehow to be released in 2009, and the very idea sort of disturbed me. Yes, I liked the original as I've said, but I don't think the world was yearning for another one, though I may be wrong about that. I mean, I thought Shoot Em Up also drew heavily from the same well and given its relative failure at the box office, I thought this kind of quick paced, semisatirical action movie was no longer viable because I just don't think I can be surprised again, but that may just be me.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Sunday Night Video: Danger Doom's The Mask

A few days ago, Tuffy over at Fandumb posted an entry about rapper Lupe Fiasco, who she found to be very geek friendly, and in the comments section, I responded that I thought that Madvillain/MF Doom/Danger Doom agreed more with my particular pedigree.

My love of ALLCAPS is legendary, and before responding, I made sure that I wasn't just talking out of my ass, and in doing so, I found this great video.

I thought it was the real video... I mean, it is geek friendly and respecting hip hop over footage from a movie featuring Luchador superstars Santo and the Blue Demon, but it looks like it is indeed an amateur production, and by god, it is pretty damn good. I mean, it is Mexican Wrestling, comic book references and a phat set of beats.

Well, up here in Canada The Boondocks is on, so I am just going to be heading out the door while you enjoy that video.

School of Hard Knocks: A Culture Kills Comic

Well, I haven't been able to visit the Strip Generator for the past day, which sort of sucks because I had the outline of a comic floating around my head for the past couple of days and I was all ready to go with it last night.

So, in place of that comic, well, I am going to have to go into the archives and use a piece of material I developed for someone else.

You see, back in September, Dutchy asked me to do a guest post comic for her, and well, I didn't read her instructions as well as I should have, well, I don't think it was exactly what she was looking for, and I don't remember her actually using it (correct me if I am wrong), so on this rainy day here at Culture Kills, I thought it would be appropriate to post it.

Yeah, I remember that period. My well was starting to get empty.

And as a bonus since I am posting my supplementary comics, I also did one for Jess of Apropos of Something back in November 2006. Check it out..

Friday, February 15, 2008

Week 40: Pageant of the Transmundane

After last week's digression filled journey through the intricacies of rickrolling, I thought a much shorter post would be more in keeping with the spirit of this award.

This week's winner is an almost 2 year old entry from Witz.org that I found earlier this week when I was kicking someone after they had tripped and fell on their face?

And speaking of that surgically altered face, well, this time, it turns out that she indeed only has one facial expression. It is freaky, freaky stuff.

To honor yet another Paris Hilton entry in the Homer Simpson way, I had to do a little digging, but I did find something relevant. So when an image with the Springfield equivalent of Paris Hilton(above Bart's head) and Homer popped up, I knew it was perfect for the Transmundanity Award.

So congrats to Jon Hurwitz for finding and posting this gem. Here is a badge to commemorate your win this week.

The Great Lunchbox Challenge

"I believe that you should commit yourself to achieving the goal, before this week is out, of taking a lunchbox to school and returning it safely to the home."

"Why?"

"Because you have already failed to do that with two lunchboxes and it is the first week of school! They don't grow on trees you know."

"A paper bag does."

That pretty much sums up the first week of school for our 7 year old son. Something happened with respect to the lunchbox monitoring regime between Grade 1 and Grade 2. Suffice it to say, he took a lunchbox to school and then returned without it. We would then send him back the next day with another lunchbox and with a mission to find the first one. He would return with neither. It was like those 5 little ducks going out one day and not coming back.

By the time, we were down two lunchboxes, I knew we were going to need more than just promises. Some incentives were in order. But how to get the unfocused, focused?

"So what are we going to do with you? How can I get you to remember your lunchbox?"

"Well, I just keep forgetting that it is there and I guess I don't put it into my bag."

"So you would need it to be easier to see and not forget?"

"Yes."

"So how about this?"

I then produced a 'Disney Princesses' lunchbox -- in pink and ready to go.

"Do you think you would miss this?"

I then informed him that this would be the lunchbox he would be taking to school if he lost the third regular, lunchbox. However, even that lunchbox would be adorned with some pink star stickers arranged in the form of an 'F' for 'Find other lunchboxes." Hopefully, with a bit of effort, we would not have to roll out Ariel, Cinderella and Snow White.

I was very proud of this ironic punishment but I must admit, we thought it somewhat cruel to impose on a 7 year old during his first week in a new class. So I really hoped it wouldn't come to that.

And I would like to tell you that it didn't come to that but it did. The next day he found himself going to school with a new Disney princesses lunchbox and in search of its three missing cousins. And I would like to tell you that that did the trick. It didn't. He found two of the missing lunchboxes and they got as far as his locker but only the Disney Princesses one returned. (I suspect it never actually left his bag; although his lunch did. Either that or it really was a 'distinctiveness' issue all along).

In the end, his mother went to his locker and retrieved the two lunchboxes (a third seemingly lost forever). Indeed, what is more, they were both full; they never even made it to lunch before getting lost! No wonder he ate so well at dinner-time that week.

But, in the end, the lunchbox crisis did end and for the second week of school, a single lunchbox (not the Princess one), returned to and from school safely. Somehow the system worked. And our Princesses can stay in the cupboard dangling like an icicle over his head.

Blogging Pet Peeve: Registration

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been expanding my blog reading list, and in doing so, I really started to develop a particular pet peeve.

Blogs requiring you sign up individually to comment.

Now I don't mean getting a Blogger id or LiveJournal account, because they are in effect skeleton keys for thousands of blogs across their servers. No, I am talking about blogs that require you to basically set up an account that will only work at that particular one before you can comment.

So basically, I have to really be committed to leave any form of feedback, and to me, having such a prohibition to me at least diminishes the sense of community, and you know I am huge on that. I also have to have a lot of trust in that person and their security, even though I would use a unique password to set up such an account, which means that I have to keep track of that if I want to return later for follow up inquiries.

Let's just say that in the past, such policies have led to some blogs missing out on Transmundanity Awards. Yes, I am that petty sometimes.

Don't get me wrong... on some level I understand the rational behind their decision, really I do. I know there are some unscrupulous people out there who just love to spam places up and/or leave nasty comments where ever they go, and I can see why some people would choose to make their place a little harder to get into. That being said, unless you are getting flooded by negative comments or spam, I think the benefits of building a community and allowing others to stop and leave a contribution to your collective.

I just had to get that off my chest.

IETF Applications Area Architecture Workshop

Post by Joe Gregorio, Google Developer Programs

On February 11 and 12 Google hosted the Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF) Application Area Architecture Workshop. This was a chance for people active in the IETF Applications Area to get together and work on architectural issues, topics that span many specific groups in the Applications area.

The Applications Area is the part of the IETF that deals with applications

"...that is, things that are not security (part of the security area), nor networks (most of the other areas), but rather things that use the networks and security services to provide things of benefit to the end-user."

This was of particular interest to me since that includes specifications like the Atom Syndication Format and the Atom Publishing Protocol, which we use extensively at Google. From the call for participation:

"These should be a few pages of text on some topic related to Applications area architectural issues. Since the group of attendees is expected to span HTTP and AtomPub, email, IM, calendaring, directories and more, issues should be of interest to more than one of these groups. Some existing Applications architecture "modules" that already are reused include SASL, URLs, MIME types, XML and XML schemas and namespaces, HTTP as a substrate, TLS, ABNF, BEEP."

We had around 20 attendees and the breakout sessions ranged over all the topics listed above and many more. There were two days of great conversation and everyone had a good time.

"Thank you for the high quality hosting and convenience of location and food!"

-Lisa Dusseault (Apps Area Director)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Code Review: OpenSocial maturing, Rhino on Rails, and more

By Dion Almaer, Google Developer Programs

February already? Spring is here, and you can tell in Mountain View as the rain has stopped. Spring brings out your social side, and we have seen a lot of growth with OpenSocial and other social APIs.

There was plenty of talk across the Web about the new Social Graph API that Brad Fitzpatrick announced. The API uses the Google crawler to gather up the XFN, FOAF, and other public social data that is spread out already on the Web. You can ask for a social graph that puts this together and gives you back a nice set of JSON.

OpenSocial is moving forward also. OpenSocial 0.7 is now available in the Orkut sandbox, MySpace announced their new platform, and a great group of people got together at Six Apart for a Hackathon.

On another note, I had the pleasure to sit down with Steve Yegge at the Google Kirkland office to discuss his Rhino on Rails project. He gave frank feedback on the history, present, and future of the project and I look forward to hearing, and sharing, more.

There was more Web development news too. Two companies came out talking about GWT. First, YesMail talked about the work behind their 17 GWT modules and 33,000 lines of GWT code. They discuss the design, scalability, and testing practices that they employ.

Compiere, creator of an opensource ERP, talked to us about their recent GWT port from a Swing application.

Developers from Autodesk Labs also came to talk to us about their work implementing offline support to their Project Draw project using Gears.

Fun times at Google

Christian Schalk has spearheaded the new Google Technology User Groups, and there are events going on hopefully near you.

One such Mountain View event is a hackathon for JavaScript developers. Come to the Googleplex and enjoy code, beer, and prizes!

Open Source

We have created a new blog dedicated to Open Source, and there are already good posts covering: the growth of Project Hosting, sponsorships of the Freedom Training Task Force and Wine improvements, and the grand prize winners for the Google Highly Open Participation Contest.

And, to finish up, check out the new iGoogle Themes API.

As always, check out the latest tech talks, subscribe to the Google Developer Podcast and visit the Google Code YouTube channel.

A Dark Valentine's Day Playlist

Last year, I did Snackie's Self Love Day celebration for Valentine's Day, but this year, well, I had something a little different in mind. I thought, while there is a lot of amorous love being pitched today, well, there are also some darker aspects to this day, and well, why not explore that as well. So, I present to you who may not be superhappy today a heaping helping of loneliness, cheating lovers, skeezy hookups breakups and depression.

This was about 2 hours work, so if it doesn't flow right, well, time was a factor.

(All items on this list are either Youtube videos or MP3s which are legal for me to distribute)

Papercuts by Broadcast
Playgirl by Ladytron
Careless Memories by Duran Duran
To Be Free by Emiliana Torrini
Lose that Girl by Saint Etienne
Everybody Loves Me But You by Juliana Hatfield
Ladykillers by Lush
Song for the Dumped by Ben Folds Five
Jumpers by Sleater Kinney
Floods by Flin Flon
Eleanor Rigby performed by Ray Charles
Cecilia by Simon and Garfunkel
Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac
I Wanna Die by Jolie Holland
Temporary Loan (Demo) by Edith Frost
If you Knew by Neko Case
I Changed the Locks by Lucinda Williams

Can you believe that I am still relatively well adjusted after putting that together? I can't.