Saturday, December 24, 2011

A cogent observation

One of Trust's comments is well worth highlighting:
I've come to the realization one of the reasons women are so suspect of men who treat them well is because women tend to use pleasing behavior as a manipulation, therefore that is how they see it.
Psychological projection not only explains a significant amount of human behavior, but also provides a tremendous amount of insight into the mind of the individuals with whom we interact. We all witness and interpret the words and actions of others through our own psychological filters. For example, most of the unfaithful men I know are absolutely terrified of being betrayed by the women in their lives, whereas it doesn't even occur to the faithful men that their wives could be capable of cheating on them.

In neither case does the proclivity of the woman to be unfaithful or not bear any relationship to the man's belief in her capacity for treachery. The reality is that no one can truly know the depths of depravity or the heights of self-sacrifice to which another individual is capable, much less inclined, so barring any meaningful evidence or observable behavioral patterns, it is totally useless to spend any time contemplating such matters.

But behavioral patterns are often on display and evidence is often freely provided. When a woman is openly suspicious of kind and generous behavior, or worse, simple civility and human decency, the chances are very high that you are dealing with a damaged and/or solipsistic individual. Since nearly all of their behavior is intrinsically manipulative, they literally cannot imagine that everyone else's is not equally manipulative.

Just as it is unwise to involve yourself with a woman who is prone to incessantly challenging you, it is a very bad idea to have any involvement with a woman who is suspicious of men who treat her well. Not only will she entirely discount all positive behavior on your part, but she will justify any amount of negative behavior on her own. The delta's impulse to white knight and rescue such a woman from her negative attitude about men will often prove to be profoundly self-destructive, and will soon turn into a pattern where he repeatedly attempts to prove his worthiness through sacrifices that only inspire her contempt.

A man should be decent, kind, and generous to others for his own sake, not for how such behavior might be useful to him. That being said, one of the very valuable returns from such positive behavior is reliable information about the character of those who are the beneficiaries of it.

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