The Gamma dichotomy

Incindiary Insight contemplates the problem:

The Gamma male believes that to win over a woman's heart one must be or appear nice, as what women really desire is a man that's not a player, that takes them seriously, that always respects their wishes, and so on and so forth. The deceptive nature of most Gammas is that they are not inherently nice, as that is usually a facade: most Gammas are somewhat bitter, frustrated, and manipulative. It would be one thing if they were genuinely nice people who simply did not know how to speak with a woman--we can work with that--but the Gamma is not genuinely nice, nor is he good. In fact, the Gamma's goodness extends only so far as it needs to in order to make a woman sleep with him; once/if she does, he believes he can make her stay if he buys her things or cries to her or uses other emotional manipulation to keep her with him.

As has been pointed out before, women have a keen antenna for incongruity. And while the feminist assertion that there are no nice guys cannot possibly be true - they attempt to explain their lack of attraction to men who are nice by claiming that all men who appear nice are merely faking it - there is an element of truth from which they have drawn their illogical conclusions.

Gammas are, first and foremost, socially inept. This is primarily because they are either unable or unwilling to understand social hierarchies and appropriate social behavior. It's actually similar to a female mindset in some ways, being self-centric and comprehensively unobservant. Whereas the Alpha's self-centeredness accepts reality and takes advantage of it, the Gamma's self-centeredness denies reality and attempts to replace it with his own preferred perspective.

For example, the way that Gammas insist that women are attracted to service and being put on pedestals is strikingly remniscent of the way women insist that men are attracted to advanced degrees and high-paying jobs. This suggests that the Gamma is attracted to being served and wants to be put on a pedestal himself, and the incongruity that women are detecting is that he is offering what he actually wants. They tend to see this as manipulative, which I think is rather unfair because the Gamma intends it as a noble sacrifice.

But I think that ultimately, the problem is not that the Gamma is bitter and frustrated, because these are learned behaviors; to blame his lack of success on them is to put the cart before the horse. Nor can it be because he is manipulative, since Alphas and especially Sigmas are downright machiavellian, which is one third of the Dark Triad that is so attractive to women.

I think the heart of the problem is that the Gamma tends to be genuinely romantic whereas women simply do not respond sexually to romance. They may enjoy it, but it really doesn't turn them on. Romance is primarily a status game that women play with each other and essentially akin to lion tamers showing off their skill. By demonstrating they are pre-tamed lions, Gammas take all the fun and challenge out of the game and thereby render themselves despicable.

Remember, women don't say "Aw" when they are hot and ready to go. They say it when they look at babies and puppies. The combination of baby-and-puppy projection with sexual pursuit may be, in part, a source of the instinctive disgust that women feel when pursued by a Gamma male.

This doesn't mean that a man can't be nice, but he has to understand that being nice is not an element of sexual attraction and it may even, in some circumstances, be an actual negative.