Podcast: Neil Greenberg of ESPN and The Washington Post tells us what the stats say about Morrow, Murray and Iginla

Neil Greenberg of the Washington Post and ESPN Insider joins us to discuss what the advanced stats are saying about the Penguins' acquisition of Brenden Morrow, Douglas Murray, and Jarome Iginla. Are the Pens the favorite? If not, who is? We also talk about the pros and cons of advanced stats, whether it's teaching us anything we don't already know, and what the stats are telling us are the best (and worst) of the playoff teams.  Whether you know a lot about advanced stats or know nothing at all, you will learn a lot.

[And make sure to check out our stats-free, emotion-filled podcast on the Pens' big trades by clicking here]

Click here to subscribe on iTunes (if you were already a subscriber, you will have to resubscribe because this is a new feed).

***If you're listening on your smartphone, the best ways to make sure that you have an uninterrupted experience are: 1) download the podcast from iTunes OR 2) download the Spreaker app by going to the App store and searching for "Spreaker"

GTOG Podcast: Steelers’ Batchwork Victory Over Ravens; Chiefs Tragedy

We talk the Steelers' huge win and the murder-suicide in Kansas City.

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Yeah, we don't feel bad for you.

Steelers-Redskins Preview: Chris Cooley is back, and he's been doing 100 pushups a day

By Finesse

The chatter in Pittsburgh this week is about how the Steelers will try to stop Robert Griffin III, the Redskins' uber-talented rookie QB.  But as great as RGIII is, and as much as we hyped him on the podcast this week, he's not our focus.  After all, RGIII has played 7 games and lost 4 of them.  That doesn't make him a superstar.  That makes him a Washington Capital.

Instead, our attention is on a different hero with a similar career winning percentage: Chris Cooley, the veteran tight end who was cut by the Redskins during training camp in the culmination of a decline that shouldn't make you feel bad, as we explained here. (SPOILER ALERT: Chris Cooley tries to explain that he has a sense of humor).

Reminder: This happened while the 10-1 Steelers were defeating the 3-8 Redskins in 2004

But when the Skins' starting tight end Fred Davis went out with an Achilles injury last week, the Skins called on Cooley, and that naturally meant it was time for Washington Post reporter Mike Wise to drive Chris Cooley to practice in a minivan just to make sure you know that Mike Wise knows Chris Cooley.  Writes Wise:

When you’ve known someone since he was 22 and he’s now an evolved 30 — heck, when you realize you’re 18 months shy of 50 yourself — you can develop some paternal feelings, to the point where you might offer a ride to work on his first day back.

After Wise's reminder that his story about Chris Cooley is actually about how Mike Wise feels about Chris Cooley, it was time for Wise to ask Cooley some questions.  To break it all down, let's dust off the GTOG Translator and hit some of the highlights. 

Q: You think if Robert Griffin has a kid he’ll be RGIV?
Cooley: “He’s got to be.”
GTOG Translator: "Please let me out of the car"

Q: Sometimes I think, ‘If I could’ve been that mature at 22, I could’ve done some real big stuff.’
Cooley: “Are you kidding me, me too . . . it’s unreal . . . he’s good at everything. Even his commercials are good. They don’t suck; they’re not weird. No one teases him about them."
GTOG Translator: "Why does this guy keep talking about himself?"

Q: Best-case scenario?
Cooley: “Best-case scenario is I play the way Fred [Davis] was playing. The real ideal is I play and we win.”

GTOG Translator: "Look, I stink now. I had 8 catches last year. But I'm confident that no matter what I do, people will think I'm good.  Just look at Fred.  He was on pace for 742 yards and zero touchdowns this year and people are reacting like Kellen Winslow Sr. was assassinated at midfield.  As long as I don't throw up on RGIII's socks, I can't lose."

Q: When the ball comes to you Sunday, it’s just going to be muscle memory?

Cooley: “We’ll see. I’ll be nervous. I’ll definitely be nervous.”
GTOG Translator: "RGIII knows better than to throw to me, so I'm not that worried."

Q: Are you in football shape?
Cooley: “I’ve been riding my bike a lot. And I’ve been running. And I made it a goal to do 100 push-ups a day and 200 sit-ups a day. I take my dogs for a couple miles on a run. That’s plenty for me. I could go into the park and do the squats that I was doing when I left. I’m down about five pounds from training camp — probably 240 right now.”
GTOG Translator: "Do you remember when Bob Costas asked Jerry Sandusky if he was attracted to young boys and it took him 16 seconds to get around to saying "no?"  I still haven't said yes to your question."

Q: Hey, before you go, I got something for you.
Cooley: “You made me lunch?”
Q: Sort of. It’s out of my son’s cupboard: There’s a box of raisins, applesauce. But I put a protein bar in there and a Scooby-Doo fruit chew snack. Those are good.
Cooley: “Thanks, man.”
GTOG Translator: "If I could afford a publicist, I'd fire him."

GTOG Podcast: Steelers, Roethlisberger, Sandusky, and more

It's a marathon podcast hitting on all the key topics: the Steelers, fatherhood, Bruce Arians, baseball, Dottie Sandusky, the NHL Lockout, drugs, sex, alcohol, Mario Lemieux, Washington sports fans, Artistry's father, and so much more.  It's the GTOG Podcast.

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A new love for B.A.?

The Apology We Demand From Roger Goodell Will Never Be Enough

By Finesse

Today, we are all victims of the NFL.  And finally there is someone brave enough to stand up and demand an apology from Roger Goodell.  His name is Dan Wetzel, and he's an expert.

There are those who believe that the ongoing NFL referee debacle is basically a business dispute between two well-funded and well-organized groups who can and will sort this out on their own (hopefully ASAP).  To those people, I say: "How wrong you are.  Now apologize to me for being so wrong."

Why are those people wrong?  Because you are a victim of the NFL referees.  Because I am a victim of the NFL referees.  Because the baby panda was killed by NFL replacement referees.  I lost my fantasy matchup last night by one point because I had Green Bay's defense.  #Neveragain.  I demand that Roger Goodell come to my apartment and apologize to me personally.  I demand the right to reject that apology and then tweet, "It's not enough.  It can never be enough," while ordering a protein smoothie at my gym.

This is about us.  This is about freedom.  This is about us being able to be outraged.  This is about our right to demand apologies from people we don't know for things we don't actually care that much about.

Mitt Romney was right about 47% of the country feeling like victims.  He was just wrong about which 47%.  It's not the people who don't pay federal income tax.  It's people with fantasy teams.

I am the 47%.

Roger can't even look Mei Xiang in the eye and say he's sorry.

GTOG Podcast: Something for Everyone

We're back after our month-long summer vacation with a comprehensive podcast covering everything from the looming NHL Lockout to Steelers' training camp, to Derek Jeter's mom's steroid use. All that, and discussion of a shocking Bachelorette cheating scandal, is in this power-packed GTOG Podcast.

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Not sure why this is happening

Rick Reilly Knew About Joe Paterno, Everything Else Before You Did

By Finesse

This post is not about the Penn State scandal; it's about people who make things up.

Rick Reilly's latest column on ESPN.com opens with this anecdote:

In 1986, I spent a week in State College, Pa., researching a 10-page Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year piece on Joe Paterno. 

It was supposed to be a secret, but one night the phone in my hotel room rang. It was a Penn State professor, calling out of the blue.  

"Are you here to take part in hagiography?" he said.  

"What's hagiography?" I asked.  

"The study of saints," he said. "You're going to be just like the rest, aren't you? You're going to make Paterno out to be a saint. You don't know him. He'll do anything to win. What you media are doing is dangerous."  

Jealous egghead, I figured.  

What an idiot I was. 

Think about the premise you have to accept to believe that this is true: Reilly is on a secret mission to State College, but a professor finds out not just about the mission, but also about where Reilly is staying, then decides to call Reilly blindly and anonymously in Reilly’s hotel room to chastise him for doing his job as a reporter, and then ups the douchiness-ante by dropping a ridiculous vocabulary word that no one has ever said in real life … and by the most miraculous of coincidences, just happens to impart wisdom that is ever-so-prescient 25 years later. 

In the spirit of making up anecdotes, here are some other things people have told Rick Reilly.

- In 1984 Reilly was on vacation in the Caribbean and a cabana boy came up to him with an anonymous letter postmarked from Eugene, Oregon. It said only, “Don’t be pococurante about letting Nicole marry OJ Simpson. You have to stop it.” At the time, Reilly dismissed it as just another guy from Oregon who sends anonymous letters via cabana boys to people in St. Thomas. 

What an idiot Reilly was. 

- While watching the Parent Trap at a theater in 1998, a man sitting behind Reilly leaned over and whispered, “You see that little freckled redhead everyone thinks is going to be a huge star? Well you’re showing your nescience if you don’t realize that one day she’s going to be so cracked out that she loses a role as Linda Lovelace in a movie that not only will people not see, but people will demand not even be made.” At the time, Reilly thought this was just another stranger who likes to whisper things to you at the movies. 

What an idiot Reilly was. 

- While bowling with his wife in the late 1980s, the guy who hands out the bowling shoes approached Reilly during the 6th frame and said, “Beware of Larry Craig’s perfidiousness when he denies knowing the meaning of his wide stance.” At the time, Reilly thought this was yet another bowling alley employee passing on unsolicited advice about random people. 

What an idiot Reilly was.  

- While leaving Wrigley Field after a Cubs game in 1999, a tipsy Reilly stumbled into an alley to take a leak. Halfway through the act, he looked up at the brick wall in front of him and saw written in blood: “HEY RICK REILLY. WALL STREET BANKS THAT SELL SUB-PRIME MORTGAGES WILL CONTUMACIOUSLY RESIST INCREASED GOVERNMENT REGULATION IN THE LATTER PART OF THE NEXT DECADE.” Reilly thought this was just another juvenile defacing public property to send messages to strangers about the proper role of government regulation in a capitalist society. 

What an idiot Reilly was. 

 None of this is meant to address Reilly’s main points about Paterno. That’s for everyone to decide on their own. But as a wise Vietnamese garbage man who once Skyped my hotel room when I was traveling for business in Dallas told me, “An increasingly avaricious Rick Reilly will one day work for ESPN where he will peddle in transparently sophistical anecdotes, so all those old Sports Illustrateds you collected will turn out to be worthless.” Of course, I didn’t believe him. 

What an idiot I was.