Game: July 2007

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Four Bits

The Goldman family finally won the rights to O.J. Simpson's supposedly fictitious description of how he killed his wife and her friend one night in 1994. An unrepentant Simpson claims the action is hypocritical, as the Goldman family were vocal about the project when he stood to profit from the account, but they are fine with having the rights to the book themselves. Considering that he still owes the Brown and Goldman families $38 million dollars from the civil case, yeah, I think that is entire fair.

Star Jones had Gastric Bypass Surgery: Yeah, I am about as surprised by that as I am about finding out that David Hyde Pierce was gay. I didn't think it needed to be spelled out. I guess other people did.

While everyone was writing memorial posts to Tom Snyder, Ingmar Bergman and Michelangelo Antonioni, I just wanted to note the passing of legendary college and NFL Football coach Bill Walsh. His coaching philosophies influence the game today, and the West Coast Offense will likely be around for years to come. His wisdom when it came to football made him truly one of the greats in his field.

I like the fact that both producer Frank Marshall and Matt Damon have both said that they really aren't interested in doing any more Bourne movies after Ultimatum, and I think that is a wise decision artistically. They aren't totally ruling it out, but they've essentially said as individuals that the storyline has played out and at the moment, there really doesn't need to be another one, and I think more actors, directors and producers should look at their franchises and make that kind of realization.

The World Festival of Movie Censorship

There was a story today about the potential problems Rush Hour III may have being released in China because of the depiction of the Triad in the movie piqued my interest in some of the other seemingly arbitrary censorship decisions about Western films that are made around the world. These are not decisions made based on sex or violence, but for more ambiguous reasons.

For instance, in that very same story, the author mentions the fact that Chinese authorities made the producers of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End cut scenes with Chow Yun Fat because his character was bald and scarred and therefore was an insult to the Chinese population. So I guess there has never been a Chinese man who was bald and scarred in the entire history of that country, through all of recorded history. Not a one.

Right.

The Chinese censors also banned Scorsese's The Departed from their country because a small part of the plot involves agents of their country trying to acquire American-made microchips, and they had considered not letting Mission: Impossible III be released because the Shanghai police didn't come off too well in that movie.

And when Thailand would not allow the movie Thank You For Smoking to be shown in that country it is speculated the reason was because the title of the movie had the word "Smoking" in it. This is the kind of thing I worry about in North America when it comes to the power the anti-smoking groups wield here.

There is also the story of India's chief censor, Sharmila Tagore, who watches and enjoys quite a few of the movies she won't let the public see, films like Closer because a small vocal minority of the Indian population react with telegenic violence every time they feel that Indian values are being threatened.

The Queen received a rating of 15 in Dubai because the censor figured that people under that age wouldn't want to see it anyway.

And I would be remiss if I didn't mention Borat being effectively banned in Russia because it offends "ethnic feelings". Now, the reason I say effectively is because while the body that regulates film has recommended it not be released, and generally speaking, in Putin's Russia, it is generally advisable for those who like life and a career in that order to not rock the boat, like most requests, it is really an order.

Now, if my site hadn't been banned in China already, this probably would have put me over the top. I'd like to thank Melon Farmers for gathering these stories from the past couple of years, because there are incidents that I would have otherwise not known about because they didn't make a big splash here.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Give me Shrek

Moves to ban popular characters, such as Shrek, on junk food are misguided. They are, at best, a distraction from the real issues and, at worst, will actually make parents' lives harder in terms of getting their children to eat well.

First, it ignores the reality of what most parents try to do. Basically, we live in a meal to meal negotiation over the proportion of healthy and unhealthy food children eat. We use the prospect of a special treat to get children to more of the healthy stuff. However, to make that deal work in our favour, the more they like (or think they will like) the unhealthy stuff, the more vegetables we can get into them.

In that world, if advertising and promotional characters makes children think they will like the unhealthy stuff more, the greater is a parent's ability to get them to eat healthy stuff first. Give me pure puffy advertising and a Shrek label any day. If having a green character on a chocolate bar means that they will be as happy with a 30 gram treat than with a 60 gram one then so much the better. Shrek is my friend in my quest to market unhealthy goods to my children. Put simply, you want treats to have a good taste, good memory and yet not have much of it eaten. Banning this stuff will only make our job harder. [The same is true for toys in Happy Meals].

Second, Shrek doesn't come for free. Food makers have to pay for it. They expect greater sales but those sales are only valuable if they come at a reasonable price. What promotional characters and their expensive rights do is push up the costs to food makers. And what does that do, it pushes up prices. High price means fewer sales. Fewer sales means less junk food in children's mouths.

Ban this stuff and food makers have to compete on price. Prices plummet and sales go up. Straight into the mouths of babes. On this logic, the better place to look to ban cool characters is on the healthy foods just to keep them affordable for parents.

Put simply, Shrek isn't the problem but part of the solution. The problem is instead the lack of other stuff on food packaging; most notably, good nutritional information. We need a standard -- a single number -- that indicates how appropriate a food item is for children. Yes, it is imperfect, but it is the information parents need to ensure they feed their children the right stuff. Politicians concerned about childhood obesity need to empower parents rather than disarm food makers and advertisers.

Another Nelson Muntz Celebrity Moment

Paris Hilton Loses Inheritance

Now this is doubly delicious, because not only are the younger Hiltons all getting shafted as a collective group, but that money (which is rumored to be about 2.4 billion dollars) is going to endow the existing Conrad N. Hilton Foundation, which has a wide ranging mandate to help people all over the world.

Somehow, this news really warms my heart.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Sunday Night Video: Rabbit

This week I decided to go in a little bit of a different direction in this segment and present an surreal animated film called Rabbit.

It isn't a funny cartoon but it is strange and powerful, as it combines an underlying moral beneath a rich, children's book-like appearance.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Dire RIAA: A Culture Kills Comic

This mocking portrait of a corrupt organization is made with Strip Generator.

You know that somewhere in the dark, soul-sucking heart of the Recording Industry Association of America, there is someone trying to find some way of making this a reality.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Week 11: Pageant of the Transmundane

Hello from Tempe, Arizona. I was just buying unpainted furniture, and this state seemed like the perfect place to go to for such goods.

This week, I visited the Idea List site, and I saw a work of time-keeping art that just had to be appreciated for both its conceptual and craftsmanship. It is a perfect candidate for this award.

So what is all the hubbub about? Why, a clock based on the bathroom door scene from the Shining... and the thing that puts it over the top is the fact that it isn't just an ordinary clock... it is a cuckoo clock!

Given I am handing out this award for a clock based on the most iconic scene from The Shining... I wonder what picture I am going to pull out from my bag of images... hmmm. Oh, I know, how about Homer Simpson with no beer and no tv going crazy in a mountain inn. Yes, I think that would be most fitting indeed for this 63rd Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award.

I don't know who as an individual to give credit to, so in lieu of that information, I am going to congratulate Chris Dimino. Congratulations.

The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Top 7 Pop Music cues from the Simpsons

It seems like everyone is doing a Simpsons related list this week, and as someone who loves the series so much that I hand out an award named after both a character and episode specific reference, I would be remiss if I didn't join in the fun.

And since most areas of the show have been explored rather fully, well, I thought I would shine some light on an area which doesn't get enough respect... licensed music on the Simpsons, especially when used ironically.

Now, there are two restrictions to these selections. First, they have to be sung by a regular musical artist, so songs being sung exclusively by Simpsons characters don't count, which leaves naked Martin Prince singing "The Summer Wind" from "Bart of Darkness" out in the cold. Also, the person or group who sang the song can't be a guest on the show that week, which limits the field a lot. I also didn't choose any of the music that characters might hear while they are on hold.

This is not a definitive list by any means, just the 7 song cues that stuck with me, and they are in no particular order.

"Any Way You Want It" by Journey in the episode Burns, Baby Burns. This episode, guest starring Rodney Dangerfield, culminates in a spontaneous drunken party in the streets to this song. What makes it especially funny is the fact that this is the very same song that Dangerfield blasts across Bushwood Country Club in Caddyshack. That's what makes it a classic.

"Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh/Camp Granada" by Allan Sherman in Marge Be Not Proud. I just love the fact that Homer is so out of it that he assumes it is Lisa calling from camp... in the middle of winter no less(as it is a Christmas episode).

"Short Shorts" by the Royal Teens in "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer". While the episode does feature Johnny Cash in a speaking role and a trippy hallucinatory segment, it is the ending of the episode involving a lighthouse, a ship full of hot pants and this song that made this episode absolutely bizarre. The circumstances make it funny.

"Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows" by Leslie Gore in "Marge on the Lam". The fact that it appeared earlier in this episode, and was rejected by Ruth makes Chief Wiggum loving it that much more surreal. It is a classic moment.

"Lady" by Styx from Tales from the Public Domain: Homer playing Odysseus must go through the Greek underworld to return to his beloved Penelope after 20 years, and he has to face one last challenge... surviving a Styx concert. As he said, it truly is hell.

"The End" by the Doors in ironically enough, "Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder". The End has appeared in a lot of movies and tv shows, but it is usually the opening that is used... but in this episode, it just keeps going... so when a despondant Homer is contemplating suicide, and he starts singing this Doors classic, and then they cut to the next scene and he at a lyric deep into the song, which tells you he's been walking for a while... it catches me every time. This is the best version I can find of it... it is a translated song, but the actor who does Homer in that country sings the song in English, so you have an idea of how weird this turns out to be.

"Happy Together" by the Turtles in "Special Edna". It is one of the most perfect musical moments on the show because the images and the song are just strange combined.

I know I probably missed some great gems... after all, I picked 7 moments out of 400 episodes. So, what are your favorite Simpsons musical cues?

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Hot Shots Tennis: A Review

I am actually writing a review of a relatively new game. Trust me, I am as shocked as you are at this development, and it will likely not happen again, because I generally don't buy games the week they come out.

I was struck by the fact that the often spoken adage about not judging a book by its cover is also surprisingly true about games.

Case in point: Hot Shots Tennis. Now, I really enjoyed the Hot Shots Golf series, and when I came across a new sports title from the gang at ClapHanz, well, I thought I was in for a treat. Sadly, it was more like a cruel trick.

The fact that I hadn't heard about the game before I went into the store should have been warning sign number one, and boy, am I sorry I didn't follow my usual procedure of checking out the reviews before buying.

Put it this way: Super Tennis on the SNES is a much better tennis game in nearly every way. I will say that again because it bears repeating: a game from 1991 is superior to this game that was released just last week.

Aside from the graphics and being able to save your progress in the game as opposed to having to use passwords, HST is lacking in every department when compared with its cartoonish tennis forerunner.

Super Tennis had 20 different playable characters, gave you use of 6 buttons on the court to really give you some ball control and had a good cup/career system that included the 4 Grand Slam majors and a slew of smaller fictional tournaments, along with a group of other individual opponents. When compared to that, HST comes off extremely short. It has just 14 playable characters, no overarching career, and the controls are a simplistic 3 buttons. I mean, it really says something that a game is getting utterly shown up so completely by another title that is a decade and a half old. After all, you don't really hear a lot of people who like football saying that Super Play Action Football completely wrecks the new Madden or 2K Sports title or that Bases Loaded for the NES has no equal in terms of baseball gaming. It is that ridiculous, and no, I am not joking. In the parlance of our times, Super Tennis pwns Hot Shots Tennis.

And all the cool equipment that you could get in the Hot Shots Golf games is absent as well, so aside from a few costumes, you are basically stuck with how they come out of the box in terms of performance, and really, that really limits things. As a fan of those games, this tennis-themed offering also pales greatly in comparison to them as well.

It is that great potential that make the finished product so much more disappointing. It could have been so much more than what was released. Perhaps a next generation sequel will live up to the promise of the premise, because while the style and polish is still there, there is very little substance.

One other thing I would like to note. If you are at all familiar with the rules of tennis, you know that a set is composed of 6 games... but somehow that message didn't make it to the ClapHanz offices, as the sets at the beginning of the game are composed of 4 games. So even on that rudimentary point, they got it wrong.

Now, I paid 30 dollars for it and I feel like severely ripped off. I mean, if I had paid 10 dollars for it, I might have been OK with the transaction. As it stands, I am rather miffed that got suckered into buying this title based only on its pedigree. However, if I manage to stop a few people from buying this lacklustre game by writing this review, I will derive at least a little bit of satisfaction from this whole experience.

So my recommendation is simple. If you have both a Playstation 2 and a Nintendo Wii and you are looking for some quality comical tennis action, you would be better served waiting for either Super Tennis or Mario Tennis 64 to become available for the Virtual Console rather than buying Hot Shots Tennis, as both those Nintendo titles are more fun and have far more replay value than this substandard Sony release.

Six Degrees of July 26th Birthdays

While I was at the IMDB today, I noticed that today's birthdays were really a who's who of actors, and I thought to myself that there have been a lot of celebrity birthday posts amongst my peers, and well, it was time I jumped on the bandwagon. Of course, I did it with my own twist.

You see, I am a great fan of the game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, and since I missed his birthday earlier this month(it was July 8th), I thought I would see if I was knowledgeable enough about movies to link all the featured actors on the birthday list together(aside from Canadian actress Miriam McDonald who is the odd person out on the list).

I did not consult the Oracle of Bacon... I got stuck twice(one of which was the link to make it come full circle) and had to consult the IMDB, but other than that, this full circle birthday six degrees is all my mental handywork.

So let's begin(actors with birthdays in bold):

Helen Mirren(62) was in Door to Door with William H. Macy
Macy and Jason Robards were in Magnolia with Tom Cruise
Cruise starred in Eyes Wide Shut which was directed by Stanley Kubrick
Kubrick also directed Full Metal Jacket which featured Vincent D'Onofrio
D'Onofrio was in Feeling Minnesota with Keanu Reeves
Reeves was in Speed with Sandra Bullock(43)
Bullock was in A Time to Kill with Kevin Spacey(48)
Spacey was in The Life of David Gale with Kate Winslet
Winslet was in Enigma with Mick Jagger(64)
Jagger was in Bent with Ian McKellen
McKellen was in Cold Comfort Farm with Kate Beckinsale(34)
Beckinsale was in Serendipity with Jeremy Piven(42)
Piven was in Kiss the Girls with Brian Cox
Cox was in Rushmore with Olivia Williams(39)
Williams was in Lucky Break with Bill Nighy
Nighy was in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with Helen Mirren

Now the funny thing is, as I did this, well, all sorts of other connections started popping into my mind, so this may not even be the most efficient full circle list I could put together if I really took the time to think about some of the smaller appearances. I mean, I bet looking at the birthdays, you could see some connections that initially slipped my mind. I do have to say that this was sort of fun to do as well. Perhaps I will do it again on another day that is chock full of notable celebrity birthdays.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Indecision 2008 site launched

Comedy Central has done something a little strange.

They've already started a site specifically for Indecision 2008, the Daily Show's Peabody-award winning segments that usually air during the election year, but with the field of candidates on both sides of the aisle fighting for their party's nomination over a year before their national conventions, well, I guess everybody's timetable has to be extended then too. Of course, I still remember the hilarious opening for the Indecision 2004 Election Night coverage, and I have a feeling that election night 2008 is going to be just as funny.

The producers of the Daily Show released DVD's for the previous election's coverage, and it is good to see them somewhat separate their Indecision content from the rest of the good natured satire that is the bread and butter of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. And there seems to be additional content written just for the site in the form of blogs. I don't think any of the onscreen personalities contribute to it, but there is still some funny stuff there, so if you are a fan of The Daily Show/Colbert Report, you should check it out.

And now, your moment of Zen.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Lindsay Lohan busted AGAIN!

Remember yesterday when I my mind boggled when the major entertainment reporters were referring to Lindsay Lohan as a reformed wild child?

Well, guess what? I was right. She got picked up 2 blocks from the Santa Monica police station while chasing an assistant who had quit Lohan's employ a few hours before.

Allow me to indulge in a little schadenfreude.

HA HA!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Drew Carey is the new host of The Price is Right

Well, as of Drew Carey's appearance on David Letterman, he is the new host of The Price is Right, and I have to say he seems like a great choice. I know I was pushing for a year of Betty White earlier, but when I think about him interacting with people, and his experience as the host of the American version of Whose Line is It Anyway.

He is far more palatable than Rosie O'Donnell for this particular hosting job.

He is jovial to say the least, and well, even at his dirtiest, he is still likable. And since part of his appeal is his Blue Collar background, well, I think he will fit right in with the contestants.

Given the fact that four of the top contenders were the ever-tan George Hamilton, the Post-Slater Mario Lopez, John "J. Peterman" O'Hurley and chronic 90210 overactor Ian Ziering, well, Drew Carey looks so much better in comparison. I mean, he looks like he would actually have fun and laugh with the contestants, and I think that is one of the most important qualities.

Of course, I can't make a definitive assessment of his potential as a game show host until I see him perform, and I am going to get a good chance when he hosts The Power of 10 in a few weeks.

Three Quick Bits

Homer Simpson is going to be a guest on Tonight Show tomorrow. I wonder if they animated him into the chair or if he is going to appear on the television "via satellite". Either way, it should be entertaining. Of course, who out there thinks that he should have also appeared on Conan O'Brien?

I've noticed that in a lot of the reports about Lindsay Lohan being charged with DUI, they are using terms like "reformed wild child" to describe her. Now, is it just me, or do those adjectives seem a little premature at the moment. I don't know... it just seems a tad bit optimistic to call her "reformed". I mean, if she was clean and sober for a year and, I don't know, the charge that was being written about had nothing to do with her being shit-faced, well, perhaps you could call her reformed, but now is not the time.

Wow... American celebrities attend a soccer game. What a news item. Seriously, if Pele couldn't make soccer fly in the States in the 1970's, when, let's face it, there was far less competition in televised athletics because Football and Basketball hadn't reached the popularity they now enjoy, I really doubt that somehow David Beckham is going revolutionize the game in the States. And it is funny that the same day this celebrity-filled gala event took place, the under 20 FIFA tournament was coming to a conclusion as well. Which was more important in terms of that sport I wonder.

Sunday Night Videos: An American Pie double bill

These two videos answer the question: What would the first two American Pie movies have been like if they were made as horror flicks.

Enjoy!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Thoughts from the lineup: A Culture Kills Comic

Since I am not a Harry Potter reader, I am going to be doing the same stuff I always do this week. Of course, all the hype did affect the direction of this week's Strip Generator comic.

This is a no spoiler blog... mainly because I can't spoil it for anyone. I don't know anything about it.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Week 10: Pageant of the Transmundane

Welcome to the Dollhouse... err, rather welcome to Charleston, South Carolina. I don't know how we got here, but then again, 16 Mike's Hard Lemonades will do that to you... well, that and allow you to water lawns up and down the Eastern Seaboard, but that is another story (and another set of lawsuits).

Anyway, before I pass out or throw up, it seems like as good a time as any to present this esteemed blogs second most prestigious award(after all, the annual awards are better, would you not agree?)

Once again we look to Mattress Police to take us home this week for pure comedic gold. This week, he took real user reviews of the Robin Williams-Mandy Moore-John Krasinski vehicle License to Wed (a vehicle which I believe I saw burning at the side of the highway a few miles back) from the IMDB and used them to diagnosis the mental problems of the writers in a piece he called Rave Reviews.

And reflecting on the theme of insanity, well, it seemed fitting to include a picture of a rather disturbed Homer Simpson, looking rather transmundane himself. I believe that what we are seeing here is a first person perspective of America's favorite father about to strangle you. Am I sending a hidden message or is the alcohol just making me paranoid? You decide.

Congrats Diesel on another Transmundanity win.

A Big Lebowski Sequel?

Both John Turturro and Steve Buscemi have been talking about a possible sequel to The Big Lebowski lately, and as a fan of the original film, well, the idea is abhorrent to me. It is also surprising to me that Buscemi is so interested in the potential project given his status in the original.

One of the reasons I really like the Coen Brothers is they haven't felt the need to make sequels to their movies. Each represents a singular story, and while there may be other tales to be told with those characters, they seem to have the good sense to let things lie. Of course, there is speculation that if the Coen Brothers are indeed developing a film, it would be more like a spinoff rather than a direct sequel to the adventures of the Dude. But still, I think the whole thing would leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Last May, I discussed the time frame of The Big Lebowski in the L.A. universe, and thought it strange that 15 months following the events of the movie, Los Angeles was consumed by riots, and I titled it based on the words of the Stranger... that the dude was the man of his place and time... and naturally the corollary is true... The Big Lebowski is a movie of its place and time, and something that shouldn't be repeated.

11 Corporations Cave to FTC demands

In a surprising turn of events, 11 of the major advertisers of fast food, sugary cereals and soft drinks along with other food products aimed at children (Kellogg, Kraft, Cadbury, Campbell Soup, General Mills, Mars, McDonald's, Unilever, Coca-Cola, Pepsico, and Hershey) have made an agreement with the Federal Trade Commission to limit the amount of advertising for these wares targeted at children under 12.

Looking at that list, that is a significant portion of the market, and from the reports I've read, their ads make up 2/3 of all the food related advertising for children, which means that along with the toy companies, they are largely subsidizing children's programming, so if this agreement results in less advertising in general for these shows, well, that will likely mean that there will be less of these programs on the air. I don't think it will come to that, but you never know.

And after seeing the segment in The Corporation where the expert from one of those media buying groups was talking about the techniques they use to shape ads to specifically get kids to nag their parents for toys, snacks and other products, I really don't trust these companies' motives. Then they mentioned that compared to the ads of yesteryear, these were scientifically developed to be scarily effective on children. If the ads we grew up on were catchy, but they were crude devices of persuasion compared with the ads of today. Now, with less enticing products in terms of palate appeal, I am sure that these companies will be working overtime to improve their techniques once more. When I think of kids, the words health conscious don't really spring immediately to mind.

But really, I think we can all guess why these eleven companies agreed to this compromise: they had a feeling that, like the organizers of the MPAA and the ESRB, their industry was going to come under heavy scrutiny from the government and perhaps much stronger prohibitions would have been put into place. After all, there was going to be a hearing at the FTC about childhood obesity, and it is better to make a separate agreement early rather than be one of the corporations that waited for the panel to devise regulations for the industry. The FTC asked for a voluntary system to be implemented back in 2005, but it was the threat of regulation that finally made these organizations act.

Honestly, I didn't think they would all cave as a group... I never saw that coming.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Falcor the Urinator

A few years ago when I saw the Trogdor video at Homestar Runner, I thought it was cute and funny, but I never thought it would take off. Boy was I wrong.

And I was reminded of this pop cultural avalance started over four years ago when I saw a nice little parody video, done with much love. So I present you my humble readers with Falcor the Urinator.

Personally, I blame Guitar Hero II for this all.

Things I miss from childhood

I was thinking about a few of the things that I miss from childhood or even the recent past and I decided to put together a short list of 15 things that I miss now that I am an adult.

Some of these things are no longer around, some of them I outgrew and some of them are very niche items. Note: Some of these items may be widely available where you live(particularly food items), so take some of these in the spirit in which they are written.

1. 2D Fighting games... 3D has some selling points, but I grew up on River City Ransom, Double Dragon, Street Fighter and Samurai Shodown.

2. Video stations that actually showed music videos. Canadian stations have followed MTV/VH1's example.

3. Tahiti Treat and strawberry flavored sodas. They both remind me of my grandmother.

4. The online soap operas of the 1995-7 era. The Spot, where art thou.

5. Radio programming not determined from a formula. DJ are supposed to be taste makers dammit.

6. New episodes of the recent Disney animated shows(Filmore, Recess, the Weekenders)

6a. The older Disney cartoon series based on their classic properties(Duck Tales, Talespin)

7. Frankenberry Cereal. I still remember the taste.

8. Little green plastic soldiers. I SO outgrew them.

9. Bags of Swedish Fish. I loved them as a kid as penny candies.

10. Puppets and models in movies... I recently watched Close Encounters again, and you know what... that ship still looks pretty damn good. And well done puppetry has an organic warmth to it that will always stay with me.

11. The old funny commercials for FedEx, Wendy's and Alaskan Airlines they used to show in the 1980's... and are largely the basis for Commercial Crazies

12. Good Teen comedies in the theatres. John Hughes, you made an era.

13. The period where Travolta was a punchline and not a leading man.

14. Cajun Spice Ruffles. I didn't appreciate them as much then as I would now. I can take the heat, and I want them back in my kitchen.

15. Action figures that are meant for kids to play with. What is with this keeping crap in the box? Toys are meant to be played with.

So, what do you miss from childhood?

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Lovitz vs. Dick - I know which side I am on

Jon Lovitz beat up Andy Dick.... I just love the way that sounds. It is music to my ears. And that was before I heard the backstory, which makes it even more fitting.

The apparent sequence of events:

-At a Christmas party at Phil Hartman's house, Andy Dick gives cocaine to Brynn Hartman, a former cocaine addict who was clean for 10 years and gets her back into the habit. 5 months later in drug-inspired despondency, Brynn Hartman kills her husband then herself.

-Jon Lovitz replaces his former SNL castmate on Newsradio with Andy Dick and states to him that "I wouldn't be here now if you hadn't given Brynn that cocaine."

-While Lovitz was sitting in a Hollywood restaurant about a year ago, a drunk Andy Dick came over to his table, drank the alcohol sitting there and then proceeded to put the Phil Hartman curse on him, claiming he would be the next to die.

-Then the Laugh Factory incident where Dick denied the above, and then confirmed he said it in a condescending way along with a faux movie offer. And then the violence began...

I hope someone had a camera phone handy when it happened, because I would love to see that video. I would pay to see that video. Hopefully Youtube will have a surprise for me tomorrow.

Tough maths

A new study says that when it comes to daughters and their propensity for maths and science in later life, Dads are to blame. If Dads hold stereotypes, they hold their daughters back.

One a related note, I thought that it may be the 11th or 12th Grade before my daughter came home with a maths problem that stumped me. (The earlier that happened the better the reflect on our education system.) Usually, I look over her homework and try and work it out in my head. It never takes more than a minute and then I can at least check whether she gets it right or not. (By the way, we might talk about it, if she doesn't but I never give her the answer.) And some of those problems are tricky. Last term she had one where she had to take a clock face and draw two lines across it such that the numbers in each of the resulting three areas summed to the same number. Took her about 15 minutes and me about 2 (more than I wanted at the very least).

So this week's problem has me worried. Take the numbers 1 though 9 and keep them in that order. Then using any operator (+, -, x or /) and also parentheses make them into an expression that equals 100. Now I can see how to do that by trial and error but I can also see that is going to take sometime. My daughter is currently slogging through that. But I can't see how to do it simply. I ran out of my 5 minute limit so I thought I'd post it here for your amusement. Please feel free to leave, not the answer, but any short-cuts in the comments.

Will there be more than 4 Indiana Jones movies?

Industry rumor says yes.

Shia LaBeouf has apparently signed up to do three more Indiana Jones movies as Dr. Jones' son. That is some big news, isn't it. I mean, the fourth film isn't even finished filming yet. Paramount must be supremely confident in the performance of not just this upcoming movie but in LaBeouf's star power. But that isn't the weirdest part...

You see, Harrison Ford has also signed up to do more of the movies too. So I guess at some point he is going to be playing the Sean Connery role in his fictional son's film, though you never know. He may be beating the crap out of people as a septuagenarian.

Now, I don't worry about LaBeouf's acting power or the fact that old man Ford is potentially going to be creaking around with a whip for the next decade or so... no, I am worried about George Lucas.

We all know how well Lucas does when he is involved with making a new trilogy twenty years after the original movies were made. And from what the rumor mill has been putting out for the past decade, he was largely the force(no pun intended) that kept putting a kibosh on the archaeological adventures of our favorire bullwhip-swingin' hero.

Imagine if you will the amount of crap that Lucas, Spielberg, the Paramount executive and Ford/LaBeouf are going to have to go through to find a project that they all agree is worth pursuing. Frankly, I wouldn't want to see the kind of committee meetings that would need to take place to get three of these movies off the ground.

Though someone in the comments section of Cinematical did note something which I thought was an interesting plan for this. Like other sequels/trilogies, they could film multiple titles of the series at the same time, much like they did for the Back to the Future and Matrix series.

If they do that, perhaps they can all pull it off. But deep down, I think that this is just the kind of idle rumors that Hollywood spins to keep people talking about an upcoming movie... just like when Shrek the Third came out, there was immediately discussion about the series going to a fifth movie... though that rumor does seem to have some legs.

So, do any of you believe that there are going to be 7 movies in the Indiana Jones saga?

Monday, July 16, 2007

The HA ha moment for today

I just heard the funniest thing in a commercial a few minutes ago.

In an ad for Transformers there was a critic's quote stating that it was "the most original film this year".

Anyone else find that funny?

ABC's Greek is Great

I could have made a pun in the title of this post, something which I am really not above, but this time it just didn't seem like it would be fun.

ABC and its cable cousin, ABC Family have begun showing a series about college/fraternity life called Greek. Now, I know that the subject of college life has been almost stripped down to the bone by countless movies and to a lesser extent, television shows, but there was something refreshing about this new short series that I just can't put my finger on. Now, if you have the first episode of the show recorded for future viewing, there may be spoilers in this entry just so you know.

The series has all the major groups for this kind of drama: the geeks, the elite fraternity/sorority and the bad (read FUN) fraternity, and the personal dynamics of the characters looks like it will be entertaining. It centers on geeky freshman Rusty, who is trying to escape his nerdish high school experience by joining a fraternity and forging a bond with his older sister Casey who doesn't want to have anything to do with him. Turns out that she hadn't even told the people she went to school with that she even had a brother. Now that's cold.

Casey is one of the most popular girls at the fictional Cyprus-Rhodes University. She dated the president of the two fraternities that her brother is interested in joining. Her old boyfriend, Cappie is the president of Kappa Tau, the fun, Animal House-type fraternity on campus and her current boyfriend is Evan, the president of the elite Omega Chi and together they are considered, as the ABC site puts it, campus royalty. And there are the various secondary characters that populate a college-themed story... roommates, frat/sorority brothers and I assume a couple of romantic interests for the young Rusty.

You will also notice that I haven't mentioned any of the actors' names and that is because most of the coverage of this show has centered on the pedigree of a single person, and I didn't think that was fair, as it is an ensemble.

Now, it is a rare thing for me to cheer at something a character does in a pilot episode, because at the time I don't really know them and I have nothing invested in their struggles and life, but there was a scene in the first episode of Greek that elicited that response from me. And after I cheer, well, I am sort of obligated to give the series at least a few more episodes before I rip into its minor shortcomings. Granted, it is only 10 episodes, so I may not even have a chance to criticize if it goes bad. I am looking forward to seeing where this goes, though I have a few ideas from this first episode of the direction it is going.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Sunday Night Video: Die Hard the Song

While I don't like the song too much, I do appreciate the recap of the first three Die Hard movies in less than 4 minutes. That is why it made it to this slot. That and John McClane kicks serious ass.

Yippee Kiyay... it's not PG-13!

The Mysteries of Women: A Culture Kills Comic

Saturday, July 14, 2007

The 5th Harry Potter movie

There are two reactions to the newly released Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. One set of people really enjoyed it. Another set think it lacked something. The difference between the two is whether they read the book in the past two years or not.

I fall into the latter book having re-read the last two books a couple of months ago in preparation for the final installment. The movie writers had a tough task. They decided to turn the longest book (800+ pages) into the shortest movie (just over 2 hours). Something had to go. What went were the characters. Only two characters get prime billing, Harry Potter and Delores Umbridge. Two other characters get a non-trivial, Luna and Sirius. But everyone else is pushed into the background. Hermione, Dumbledore, Cho, the Wesley twins, Ginny are there but not at the book's level. Sadly, Malfoy, Ron and Snape are pretty well left behind. This left a big hole; particularly, since it is Harry's relationship with Snape that was by far the most significant feature of the book.

The plot shortening took away the epic feel of previous movies. There was no sense of the school year and no build up. Dumbledore's Army was created but only named as it was disbanded. And the plot basics were twisted to make the story work. But it seemed to me that things went too quickly and the whole exercise seemed jumpy. Put simply, the movie seemed more filler than real development. The book made up for that with character development. This time around there was none to be seen.

That said, we go into these things with high expectations. It was very enjoyable and the incorporation of humour was very well done. It was also far less scary than previous movies; perhaps the least scary of the lot. There may have been a darker movie, but around the theatre there were fewer instances that sent childrens' popcorn flying. There was no time to build up a sense of foreboding.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Week 9: Pageant of the Transmundane

Sometimes the transmundane lies in revealing a universal truth that had not yet been put in such a succinct and purified manner, and this week's winner exemplifies that spirit.

Nicole Lee, who runs a few blogs related to her myriad of activities in the artistic and fashion universe, and I just happened to stumble upon them this week. She is very talented, and I sort of envy her skillset.

That being said, it was my first exposure to her work that won her this award.

She took a simple thought on procrastination based on certain behaviors and made comic gold, and something that I can certainly relate to, and I am sure that a lot of you readers out there will nod in agreement with this comic as well.

Therefore, I am pleased to award Nicole Lee the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award this week. And because it has to do with productivity at the computer, well, this screenshot seemed highly appropriate for this week's winner.

Congratulations Nicole on winning this award. I have a feeling it may not be your last.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

That Silly "8 Things" meme

I've been tagged so many times to do that silly "8 Things" meme that I finally broke down and did it... mainly so that people would stop tagging me to do it.

Now, I am supposed to begin this whole thing with a set of rules, but you know what, fuck the rules. We don't need no stinkin' rules. If you want the rules, go here and read them.

And since this is a pop culture blog, my 8 confessions have to do in some way or another with the subject at hand.

1. I cry at Babe. Correction, I bawl at Babe... and not just at the end. Intermittently throughout. So if you know me in real life, I will likely never watch said movie with you.

2. I have a degree in history, and I have an encyclopedic memory for names, dates and places and yet, I have trouble placing world events and incidents in my own life into their correct year and sometimes sequence. This extends to movies, albums and other various ephemera as well.

3. I've always preferred the sound of both female singers and keyboards/electronic sounds more than male singers and guitars. I don't know why that is. For most things, I can figure out the triggering factor, but for this particular predilection, I haven't found a root incident just yet.

4. I have never watched a full game of soccer in my entire life, and yet, I have a soccer game for every console I've owned since Gemini/Atari, and I've owned a lot of systems. And the fact that I bought said games rather than received them says so much more about that. No other sport has been so represented amongst my collections... which is especially weird considering my lifelong love of American football.

5. Up until about a week and a half ago, I didn't know that Bennett from Commando and Wez from the Road Warrior/Weird Science were played by the same actor, Vernon Wells.

6. I didn't really start drinking until I was 26. I used to say that I was predisposed to alcoholism like an oily rag is predisposed to burning, but that is tiresome now. I drink in extreme moderation and only socially, so a) I've never been hung over and b) I've never been too drunk to remember what happened the night before (I've been called the memory for the evening... which is ironic given the confession at #2). So basically, I was sort of faking it when I'd see characters plastered in a movie or tv, because really, I had no frame of reference.

7. I have a myriad of fears, but the most interesting of which is I have a definite fear of isolation. It isn't agoraphobia... it is more a fear of being somewhere there are no people... like farmland, the woods, outer space, being on a ship in the middle of the ocean etc. I don't go camping... ever, and I think that is the reason why movies like Alien, Alive and the Blair Witch Project are so effective at scaring me.

8. In all honesty, I probably couldn't name a single number one song from the past 2 and a half years. I don't listen to the radio at all, and the video channel that I used to watch has taken a turn for the MTV and doesn't really show videos anymore, so really, I am completely clueless when it comes to modern popular music outside of the movies and television.

--

And per my long-standing policy, no one is getting tagged. Do it if you want to.

A Penguin's Life

Massively multi-player games are all the rage. There is Everquest and World of Warcraft if you want to wage war. There is Second Life if you want to wage life. And for the kids, there is the torridly two dimensional world of Club Penguin. These school holidays, it has totally absorbed our family.

So what happens in the club? Basically, for free, your kid gets a penguin and can earn coins by playing games. They can then use the coins to buy some things including stuff to do up their very own igloo. They can also buy pets called puffles and spend some time trying to keep them healthy and happy. Finally, they can waddle around the world and see who else is there.

This teaches them about life. My 6 year old son, played enough games to earn himself some loot and then spent it on ten puffles. He learnt the lesson of over-population quickly and found himself unable to care for them. By the day's end, they were all gone; passed on to another virtual place. From then on, he kept his puffle herd down.

For my kids, we told them not to talk to strangers. So their activities are divided between saying in response to someone asking them to be their friend, "No!" and looking for each other. So in one room someone shouts out, "where are you?" and there is the response "in the Outback." Suffice it to say the Outback is a much colder place than you would expect.

To earn coins, the kids played games. I asked whether they killed anyone and apparently that wasn't allowed. Now how, may I ask, is this going to prepare them for other virtual games?

Typically, I would come home to this conversation:

"How long have you been playing that thing?"

"About three hours."

"Don't you think you should stop?"

"No"

"What are you doing?"

"I am playing this ice block game. Three more rounds and I'll have enough coins do get another puffle."

"What about bath time?"

"What about it?"

"Well, the kids seem to be waiting to go to bed and they haven't eaten since lunch. Well, except for some virtual fish."

You see, Club Penguin -- like other games before it -- has taken in my kids' mother. She too is obsessed with getting further in it. The entire family is now on ice.