Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Kevin Costner Wants a Music Career

Not content to merely tank in blockbuster movies, Kevin Costner has his sights set for failure as a musical artist as well.

Yes, after a gig in front of group of NASCAR fans in July, Costner and his band Modern West felt the need to record an album. I guess seeing some massive ugly crashes that left the participants reasonably unscathed made him once again long for failure, and Swing Vote just didn't give him that same satisfaction.

Also I think this quip from comedian Alonzo Bodden says everything about that particular audience: "I didn't understand NASCAR until I met some NASCAR fans. Because you talk to a couple of NASCAR fans, and you see where a shiny car driving in a circle would fascinate them all day."*



Let's face it, Kevin Costner's best work is behind him. There isn't going to be another Bull Durham or Field of Dreams in his future. And yes, he is talking about working on a sequel to The Bodyguard, but really, does anyone really want to see that? I certainly don't. I mean, how good of a bodyguard could he be if he couldn't keep the crack and/or Bobby Brown away from Whitney Houston, I ask you.

Some of you may remember a post I made at the beginning of the month about actors becoming trying to become singers, and how sometimes people have to know their limitations. Well, this is another one of those times.

Granted, looking at some of the movies Kevin Costner has directed, we know that at times, he does not know his limitations at all... and I think perhaps an intervention may be in order... especially if at any time he tries approaching apocalyptic science fiction or an English accent, because the world can't take either of those things happening again. I mean, seriously, never again, those were all crimes against cinema and pop culture.

So, for the sake of my audience, I am just giving you ample warning that a silly, celebrity-backed vanity project is on the horizon so you can get a stockpile of earplugs and apathy to greet it.

* I'm playing NASCAR 07, so I can make that joke.

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