Here's my take on the matter.
It is my responsibility as a consumer of pop culture to generally avoid spoilers on my own. If I get something spoiled because I didn't take the due diligence to avoid it, like if I was to record an episode of a television drama for later viewing and then I went and read an article which recapped what had happened during that episode, well, then yes, that would be my fault, and as such, I have no reason to complain. Most of the time when someone encounters something that spoils a show or movie, they were not doing the simple, basic things that are common sense to the average person. Like, I wouldn't go to the TV Tropes page about something I am currently watching or reading if I am not at the same point everyone else is at. It is just obvious.
By the same token, I should have a reasonable expectation that as I explore the internet that I can avoid those spoilers by forewarning. If an episode of a television show aired last night and someone online posts something about it, and the title indicates that they are talking about that episode, well, then I can avoid it. If the title of that post is a spoiler in and of itself, then yes, I think I would be genuinely be mad about it, or if someone was writing about a completely different subject and they just happen to throw an unrelated spoiler into the mix, well, then again, I can see how people would get bent out of shape about that. (I had a revelation at the end of a game spoiled like this when I was reading a completely unrelated entry to it. I was miffed).
Time and popularity are also factors in all this. The more time that has passed between the release of a movie, book or television episode, the less people should expect in terms of spoiler protections. And if something is popular, more people are naturally going to be writing about it and have a general knowledge of the things being discussed, so your realistic window for living in blissful ignorance of a spoiler is relatively short. I think at this moment, if I haven't seen a movie that has been out on DVD for a couple of months, I shouldn't expect other people to try to shield me from spoilers as part of the social contract, and after a day or so, I have no expectation that anything said about an episode in a television series will be held back. Because frankly, in those cases, I have had a reasonable amount of time to see that thing, and I should have diminished expectations about another person keeping that kind of information secret. But if something has just aired or been released, then in my opinion, if you haven't warned others that you are specifically talking about that piece of pop culture, a spoiler alert is warranted. But that may just be me, and I am willing to admit that to me, it seems like a good practice.
Let's say blogging/twitter etc existed in 1980, and a bunch of people posted the fact that Darth Vader was Luke's father within days of The Empire Strikes Back's release, and put it in titles and in unavoidable messages on social networking sites, well, that to me would be a breach of spoiler etiquette in my opinion.
I know a few people who have gone so far as to temporily block or in extreme cases, stop following/defriend people who routinely post spoilers, especially when the aggrieved party lives on the West Coast and those that are spoiling the revelations of dramatic television live in time zones in the east.
Now, at times, I take my foreshadowing of spoilers to admittedly ridiculous levels. For instance, when I write a Remembering post, I've been known to warn people that I am going to be disclosing plot elements, so if they plan on viewing/playing what I am discussing, they know that I may wreck a few things. So I give spoiler alerts for a lot longer than I expect other people to give them, and there is one particular show (Alias) which I still won't really discuss the plot of in detail because a year or so ago, one of my readers and fellow bloggers was watching the show and I never got around to asking if they had finished the entire experience.
I certainly don't expect other people to do that.
At the moment, I am avoiding information about a particular film that is coming out soon because I plan on reading the source material first, so I am not watching the trailers or reading new stories and blog entries about it so that I go into the whole experience fresh. I respect people discussing it, but in this case it is my responsibility to avoid the spoilers.
I think the basic rule I think everyone should adhere to is just a little common courtesy. On both sides of the issue, people shouldn't be killjoys. It is a simple principle really.
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