In my case, I just decided it would be fun to start spouting Machete facts on Twitter, and since I know that some of my readers don't follow me on that site, so I thought I would share them here, along with a few that wouldn't fit in 140 characters.
The reason Machete wasn't in The Expendables is he would have killed the bad guys in the first 5 minutes, and then there'd be no movie. #machetefacts
Machete performed his own caesarean, and then sewed up his own mother before allowing himself to cry #machetefacts
Machete don't Twitter. If he wants you to know something real quick, he'll carve it into a bad guy and send it your way #machetefacts
Machete has a wrinkle for every man he's killed. #machetefacts
Machete doesn't have tattoos. His skin is filled with grains of awesomeness which have identifiable shapes. #machetefacts
Machete plays Danny Trejo, much like Superman plays the role of Clark Kent. #machetefacts
Machete Beat Battletoads. Not the game. The actual Battletoads. #machetefacts
Machete has Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer buried in his basement. #machetefacts
And my favorite one:
Machete once drank a mixture of gasoline and kerosene just so he could use his stream of urine as a flamethrower. #machetefacts
So, can you come up with any Machete Facts?
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