A portrait in BETA

Sometimes, their decisions are so obviously and incredibly stupid that you can't even feel bad for men when the situation blows up in their faces:

For reasons that I am now doubting, there was a large misunderstanding with a customer where she worked and she got fired from her job. At this point, since she had no money, I had two options: 1) let her stay with me and try to find a job in my much bigger town, or 2) let her go back to her parent's place about 500 miles away, effectively ending the relationship.

Since I felt this one had so much promise, I choose option 1). Me and a buddy of mine even went a step further and used our connections to get her a job at the call center for the company we work at. Not a great job, mind you, but much better than the one she had and good considering she didn't finish her degree. I also got her a relatively cheap car because I knew there was no way she could get back on her feet without one (we live in a decent sized town, but not big enough to have a great public transportation system)....

I know that I have more than a little bit of blame here. I made things way too easy for her and didn't really insist on her paying me for things like rent and the car, although we did have an informal agreement that she stuck to until just recently. I don't know what to do.

Seriously? I mean, seriously? Who wrote this, Alan Harper from Two-and-a-Half Men? When your situation can be accurately described as one that took place on a mediocre sitcom a few years ago, you're officially an idiot where it comes to women and should not be permitted to make any decisions about them without first asking a Game Council consisting of Roissy, Roosh, Athol, and Susan.

I can just imagine the meetings:

Roissy: [coughs] BETA! Code Red. Trash her. [closes eyes to better contemplate the sad ennui of human existence]

Roosh: No, pump her, then dump her. And then, my man, you should totally go to Uruguay. Bitches be banging in Uruguay.

Athol: Too risky. She'll run the Baby Trap on him.

Roosh: I said pump, then dump, dude. Not the other way around.

Susan: I tend to concur, except for the pumping aspect. She needs to go. But perhaps he can give her some travel money, just to make it clear that he's not a cad and there are no hard feelings. That's the decent thing to do.

Roosh: What is this "decent thing" of which you speak?

Athol: More importantly, throwing some cash should distract her and ward off the crazy. Hey, shiny!

Roissy: [suddenly sits up] Did someone say crazy? Hey, chumpmonkey, you got a picture of this chick?

In summary:

1. Don't get women jobs. They won't be grateful and it will reflect badly on you when it eventually goes bad, as it probably will. If she was reasonably employable, then she'd already have a job.

2. Don't let a woman move in with you if you're not willing to marry her. If that means Little Miss Irresponsible has to leave town, enjoy the parting scene. Just make sure it happens....

3. Don't buy a woman a car, relatively cheap or otherwise, unless you are married to her.

4. If you get a woman a job, buy her a car, and let her move in with you, then discover that she is lying to you and failing to pay you what she owes, DUMP HER IMMEDIATELY. And, as Athol recommends, do whatever you have to do, pay whatever you have to pay, to make sure she goes with a minimum of complications.

This is not rocket science. This is barely even basic self-preservation. To be honest, I'd be astonished if this woman hadn't already cheated, several times, on this chump of chumps.