Blood Bowl Humans vs Orcs AAR

As it so happens one other Swedish member on the Lead Adventure Forum (Mattias/"Preedh") also lives in the same town as me - and he too plays Blood Bowl. So we met during the week and played a friendly game of Blood Bowl. His Orc team vs my Humans. This was also the first time I met Orcs IRL, in the PC version of Blood Bowl: Legendary Edition I have always found Orcs to be a tough opponent when playing humans so it was quite interesting and fun to finally get to play against them on the tabletop.

And for once I made sure to bring pen and paper to make proper notes so that the flow of the game could be described with more accurate detail. Perhaps a much more traditional AAR than the usual stuff, but here it goes.

The teams looked like this:

Humans
6 Linemen
3 Blitzers
1 Catcher
1 Ogre
4x Re-rolls

Orcs
4 Blitzers
2 Catchers
4 Blockers
1 Lineman
2x Re-rolls
1x Apothecary
…………….

First Half

Humans receive the kick-off. Orcs get 1 extra re-roll due to winning the kickoff event.

Turn 1 Humans
Humans moved about and tried to punch holes in the Orc line. The human Catcher was the designated “runner” and made to pick up the ball with intention of running along the right flank once opportunity allowed it. The humans managed to score a K.O. on a Orc blocker early on as well

Turn 1 Orcs
The Orcs had a really bad time with the dice, just kept pushing the human players around along the line.

Turn 2 Humans/Orcs
The pushing and shoving was almost comical. Frustrating for the humans who wanted to punch through the right flank, annoying for the Orcs who wanted to get to the Catcher and steal the ball.

Turn 3 Humans
Finally the humans got a break and punched a small hole at the very right flank, a tiny hole enough for the Catcher to make his way through. To make the hole one of the human players had to spend a Re-roll, which proved to be a fatal disaster just minutes later when the Catcher ran past everyone as if his ass was on fire – and in his greed tried “going for it” and of course rolling a 1, tripping and completely messing himself up. The fastest human player managed to roll an injury on himself and was removed from the game…. A real dud.

Turn 3 Orcs
Not rushing to pick up the ball, the Orcs decided to bide their time and soften up the humans with a bit of old fashioned ass whoppin’. An Orc Blocker managed to score a K.O. on one of the human Blitzers.

Turn 4 Humans
Trying to regain the initiative the humans wanted to punch their way back to the ball, of course the Ogre decided it was time to become dimwitted and just stood there drooling with a blank expression. A re-roll is wasted on this birdbrain as well. The rest of the human team pathetically fails to get anywhere near the ball.

Turn 4 Orcs
The Orc thrower picks up the ball and makes a short pass to the nearby Orc Lineman who catches the ball effortlessly and starts moving down the pitch in the human direction while the rest of the Orc team slap around the human players standing in the way leaving 4 of them knocked down.

Turn 5 Humans
The Ogre snaps out of his daydreaming and grabs a nearby Orc Blocker whom he slaps so that the Orc ends up face down in the grass, the human team tries to move back towards the Orc with the ball to intercept him.

Turn 5 Orcs
Orcs keep moving, an Orc Blitzer blitzes the human blitzer (lol) and punches him hard enough to send him face down into the grass as well.

Turn 6 Humans
The Orc thrower with the ball was finally cornered and the humans managed to knock him down and pick up the scattering ball which was quickly moved up the pitch while the rest of the human team made sure to block any possible Orc pursuers off. The ball is now just a few spaces away from the TouchDown zone.

Turn 6 Orcs
In an attempt to stop the humans an Orc Blitzer darts away in the human players direction and tries to tackle him only to knock himself out and causing a turnover, leaving the humans to score.

Turn 7 Humans
The humans waste no time, and just move the ball up to make a touchdown. It had been a very tough first half. The speed of the human Catcher was greatly missed. Still, 1-0 to the human team at this point.

Turn 7 Orcs
None of the teams receive manage to get their Knocked Out players back. The Kickoff event was “changing weater – Nice weather”… so pretty much nothing happened.
The Humans kick the ball like amateurs, making it scatter wild and off the pitch. The Orcs naturally put the ball in the hands of one of the forward Orc players, and as the turn starts the Orcs move the ball down the pitch, 7 spaces from the TouchDown zone.

Humans Turn 8
The situation was a bit unexpected, and the Orcs had a realistic chance of scoring a TD the next turn. The Ogre punched a nearby Orc Blocker hard enough to cause an injury – but the Orc Apothecary made that a minor injury which meant the Orc player ended up in the reserves. Trying to block off the Orcs some human players positioned themselves around the Orc with the ball, hoping it would cause the opposing player to trip if he tried to get out of their tackle zone.

Turn 8 Orcs
Orcs throw some punches around again to loosen up the human lines, this is followed by the Orc Blitzer handling the ball first successfully jumping out of the human tackle zone and then run down to the TD zone passing a “going for it check” scoring a 1-1 in the last minute of the first half!

Second Half
Humans kick the ball, and then roll “Perfect defense” as their kickoff event, pretty good.
Both teams also get back their Knocked Out Players.

Turn 1 Orcs
The Orcs set the theme for the second half of the game by brutalizing the human players along the entire line of scrimmage.

Turn 1 Humans
Not much the Humans could do but stand back up to prevent the Orcs free movement. Of course the Ogre rolled “stupid” again and just stood there when he was needed  to throw some punches…

Turn 2 Orcs
The beatings by the Orcs continued, this time knocking out one human Blitzer. Meanwhile in the background the Orc thrower fumbled around with the ball and failed to pick it up. A common and dreaded phenomena in the Blood Bowl Universe.

Turn 2 Humans
Humans stand back up, the line is being pushed back 1 space at a time but no real gaps have been opened for the Orcs to fully exploit yet. Ogre decided it was for the best if he kept standing around like a gentle lobotomized giant again.

Turn 3 Orcs
Orcs slap around more human players, knocking out a human Lineman with a well placed Orc Blitzer slap.

Turn 3 Humans
Another really bad turn for the humans, nothing happened. Poor rolls with the dice, Ogre just puched back an Orc while the rest of the human team, probably still sore after the repeated beatings, didn’t contribute much either.

Turn 4 Orcs
More beatings, this time the Orcs manage to smack all human players but the Ogre and a lonely Lineman.

Turn 4 Humans
Payback time, thought the humans – and in their rashness did things in the wrong order. Instead of standing up with all players first – a human Blitzer decided he would do his best to kick some Orc ass. Some Orc ass out of reach. Of course the human Blitzer tripped, rolling a 1 when trying “going for it” and caused a turnover while pretty much the whole human team was still on their back in the grass.

Turn 5 Orcs
To entertain themselves, the Orcs first beat up the remaining standing human team players, including the Ogre and move the ball down the human side of the pitch.

Turn 5 Humans
Human players stand back up on their feet, those that can move freely are positioned in blocking positions to annoy the Orc players. One of the human Blitzers perform a daring last minute Blitz against the Orc thrower standing next to the Orc handling the ball, this managed to inflict a K.O. !

Turn 6 Orcs/Humans
The Orcs protect the ball and move it down the pitch while smacking around the human players causing trouble, leaving the humans in no position to do anything or cause any threat in their following turn.

Turn 7 Orcs
Orcs sprint down the final few spaces towards the touchdown zone and score 2-1.

Turn 7 Humans
The state of the team was abysmal, there might have been a chance to maybe score a TD, but being realistic about it the humans just wanted to throw a few punches before the game ended. The Orcs also kicked the ball pretty far down the human side of the pitch so it would have been impossible to get the ball past the Orcs and score a TD in 2 turns anyway.

Turn 8 Orcs
The Orcs cause a turnover by failing a block action, knocking down one of their own players.

Turn 8 Humans
Not much to do but congratulate the Orc team to their 2-1 victory.

…………..
The game was really tense and exciting in the first half. The humans made a remarkable recovery managing to run back and forth down the pitch and score a TD. Equally impressive was the last minute dash of the Orc team. Second half was just a disaster for the humans. Granted that the Orcs failed miserably with their armor roll but the human players pretty much started each turn by standing back up from being knocked down into the grass during the previous turn.

But it was a fun game, and it was very nice to play against Mattias. Hope to meet his Orcs again soon.