The causality conundrum

One almost finds it hard to know where to begin here:

Noticed a pattern lately of women that have short hair and low sex drives. My wife had shoulder length hair before marrage and an ok sex drive and now it is real short. With that came a much lower sex drive. I have some male friends who seem to have wives with similar trends to mine. I also have friends with girlfriends that have long hair who are having good sex. I have one friend who was recently married to a women with really long hair and I get the impression their sex life is great. I also noticed divorced women who had short hair grow it out (along with loosing weight). And they are desperate to find a man.

This isn't a mystery. Men vastly prefer long hair. Since most women know this on some level of consciousness, a woman who cuts her hair short is either a) a sucker who listens to other women attempting to sabotage her and lower her relative sex rank or b) attempting to indicate that she is not sexually available to men. While women will produce no end of excuses and rationalizations, in most cases, it is one of these two things. It's simply not credible for a woman to claim she cut her hair short because she doesn't have the time to care for it when she is watching an average of 2.53 hours of television per day.

This is why lesbians tend to sport crew cuts or similarly unappealing hairstyles, why women who have declining interest in their partners gravitate towards cutting their hair shorter, why younger women react negatively towards older women who have long gray hair, and why divorced women usually start trying to grow their hair longer.

And it's no mystery why this man's wife chopped her hair off. Any man who ends a public post with the ridiculous acronym "lol" is without question towards the bottom of the socio-sexual hierarchy and her subsequent lack of interest in him naturally reflects that.