Burning Question: Who would you take on?

I was watching Fight Club last night, and when the scene where Tyler(Pitt) and Jack(Norton) were discussing the famous people they would take in a fight, it got me to thinking about the very same question in a few other variations.

For instance, I had never considered who I would take on in a fight if I had to pick an advertising icon. I mean, there are so many choices, and while someone like the Burger King or Ronald McDonald springs immediately to mind, they just don't seem right for my burning rage. And I admit it would be fun to beat the living crap out of the Pillsbury Dough Boy whilst yelling "Whose laughing now, beeyotch!", but that would still be unfulfilling.

No, the answer came to me in a flash: the owl from those old Tootsie Pop Commercials, that smarmy overly intellectual, conniving ball of feathers. He deserves that beatdown, because I am sure that wasn't the first kid that he conned out of their Tootsie Pop or other valued consumer good. I am sure there are stories about his days teaching at the local school that would also make him a prime candidate for a brutal bird beating. I would wring his scrawny professorial neck, I would, I would and boot that brainiac lollybiter to the curb. That would be some sweet satisfaction.

So, who would you take on and how would that fight turn out?

Tags: tootsie pop, owl, fight club, brad pitt, celebrity, burger king, ronald mcdonald, pillsbury doughboy, burning question