Friday, August 31, 2007

Week 16: Pageant of the Transmundane

Hello from the warm embrace of Las Palmas in the Canary Islands. It is once again time to hand out some recognition for some mighty find transmundanity.

In my travels around the internet this week, I discovered a post at the Roadside Scholar featuring the artistic photography of Terry Border.

Terry did something that most of our mother's told us to stop doing when we were 10-11... played with his food, but unless some of the unholy messes we made when were were kids, his creations are whimsical and wiry. Literally.

I should also mention Terry's site, Bent Objects, as well, and offer him a share of this award.

And to celebrate this week's award, I thought an image of Homer Simpson with a great deal of food was in order, though we all know that he eats like a bird, so finding such a thing is truly an Herculean task. Oh wait, he is as ravenous as a flock of seagulls, so I guess it was a lot easier than I thought. And thus another Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award. Huzzah!



Congratulations to the Roadside Scholar and Terry Border. Feel free to use the following badge to celebrate your win.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Labor Day Semi-Break

I've been sort of burnt out for the past couple of weeks, so aside from Transmundanity and the comic, I am basically taking a few days off until Tuesday.

I'm going to be around, but just not producing new content.

See you next week.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Danny Devito is a sick twisted bastard

Someone broke a fibre optic line in my neck of the woods and a huge part of my county was without internet services, so as a way of apologizing for my absence, I thought I would post something a little more salacious and creepy tonight in my usual midweek video post.

It is a really demented promo movie for the FX series It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and as the intro warns, it isn't safe for work. Seriously. But seeing as it is Labor Day Weekend, it just seemed so perfect.



I think for most people, the phrase... and you thought your job was bad definitely applies.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Ruminations on the film choices of Billy Bob Thornton

Do you remember a time when you'd watch a movie featuring Billy Bob Thornton and you would actually see a nuanced character every time. I mean, he got his breakout role in Hollywood was playing a husky mentally deficient man who killed his parents in Sling Blade, and it seemed like he would soon be one of those top-flight thespians we enjoy seeing on the stage and screen.

I am not saying that he hasn't taken some challenging roles since that movie, but it just seems like he is getting way too comfortable playing the variations of a single character type: the alpha jerk, or in a more succinct form, a dick. This is a relatively recent phenomenon with him, but it is still troubling for me.

Don't get me wrong, he plays a fabulous dick, he really does, but knowing that he is capable of so much more than that, it is disappointing to see him play the same kind of role over and over again. Look at the long list of movies where he has essentially played this kind of role: Bad Santa, School for Scoundrels, The Bad News Bears, Mr. Woodcock, and there were elements of this same kind of character in Pushing Tin and if I remember correctly, there was a similar strain in his performance in The Ice Harvest. That's a lot of pricks. Maybe he is taking these jobs because they reflect something deeper about himself... or maybe he is just in those movies for the money. Yeah, it is probably that latter one, because a man with 5 ex-wives could never be an asshole himself.

Now, I can hear some of you out there grumbling that I've never pointed a finger at Samuel L. Jackson for playing a quick to anger black man time and time again, and I will point out that Jackson has both been nominated and won a lot of awards playing that guy, while Thornton only seems to get nominated when he plays a character outside the above type.

So, while it is occasionally funny to see Billy Bob Thorton play a total asshole, I think he should avoid making it the crux of his career this millennium.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Celebrity Novelist I Never Saw Coming

There are a lot of actors, singers and other performing artists that write novels. I've accepted that, and sometimes they don't do a bad job.

But sometimes, you just hear that someone has a novel coming out and it chills you to the very core. I had such an experience this afternoon.

I found out that Courtney Thorne-Smith has a novel called Outside In coming out in September.



Courtney Thorne-Smith?!?!? The woman who plays Jim Belushi's wife on According to Jim? Allison Parker from Melrose Place and the woman who thought playing the romantic lead in a movie starring Carrot Top was a good idea... wrote a novel?

I don't personally have anything against her mind you, as she seems like a genuinely pleasant woman to be around. I am just very surprised to be hearing this news.

Tell me if this story sounds familiar to anyone: Kate, a youngish actress with a cheating husband and a controlling mother finds herself feeling isolated and alone in the big Hollywood machine, but finds kinship and an emotional anchor in the guise of her personal make-up artist and they develop a deep and meaningful friendship.

Now for all I know it could be the most stunning fictionalized tell-all of the corrupt, media saturated excesses of Hollywood ever penned, but I doubt it.
Why do I doubt it? Because Gawker has snatched a few passages from the book and plunked them down for all to see. Read, enjoy and be forewarned.

And of course, it isn't about her at all... it is just some strange coincidence that both her and her protagonist have names that start with a c/k sound and hyphenated last names with a less common-more common surname pattern. Right.

Then again, maybe I shouldn't be knocking her work. After all, she has a novel being published and I don't. Of course, that hasn't stopped me in the past, now has it?

Monday, August 27, 2007

Hattrick: Great Massively Multiplayer Online Fun

I thought I had avoided the whole massively multiplayer online experience... well, at least ever since I stopped playing Discworld MUD. I didn't partake of World of Warcraft, Guild Wars, City of Heroes or Everquest, even though they all seemed like they were interesting, because I know that I have an addictive personality when it comes to those kinds of games, while at the same time knowing that I could never be as good as the best players in those games.

And then I recently realized that the Football/Soccer manager game I play, Hattrick is indeed a Massively Multiplayer Online Game too. After all, it fits all the other criteria:

1. There are almost a million active players
2. At any one time, there are usually between 5000 and 10000 players on at one time.
3. It is a single persistent world.
4. There are leagues in 118 different countries.
5. I am sort of addicted to it.

Now, I got into this game after a recommendation from my brother-in-law at Christmas, and now I am in my third season as a manager, and I am doing decent at it. Not great, not bad, just OK, and I can accept that. I don't have to be the best, and I don't have to devote my entire life to playing the game because it is free, so no matter how much or how little I play, I am getting my money's worth.

Basically, when you sign up for the game, you are put into a league with 7 other teams at the bottom of your country's league pyramid, and the goal is to try to bring success to your team and eventually after many seasons rise to the Premier League of your nation. As the majority of the teams you are playing are also controlled by other people with the same goal, you can see how it can become very competitive.

And as I've said, it is a pyramid system as well, so there are a lot more teams the closer you are to the bottom. Depending on the number of players in the system, the pyramid can be very short(like the 3 divisional levels that countries like Cambodia, Iraq and Mongolia) or exceedingly tall (Germany, Spain and Italy immediately come to mind with their 10-11 divisional levels), though the majority of players seem to be playing in systems that are 5-7 levels(including myself), so reaching the top takes a long time and some dedication.

Each season is 16 weeks long with 14 league games as well as various friendly games you set up yourself and in the time between matches, you have a lot of other things you can do, like checking out the transfer market, improving your stadium and putting together a youth squad, so it does provide a rather full experience once you get into it.

I run a little club called Huxley United in Canada's league V.35, and if any of you want to join the game, I can help you get started and avoid some of the common beginner mistakes. And if you play the game already, perhaps we can play a friendly sometime. It could be fun after all.

I've already suggested the game to fellow pop culture traveller SamuraiFrog, and he seems to be enjoying it.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Sunday Night Video: The Relationship Lifespan of a Gaming System

When I was watching videos about that whole YouTube Man Boob controversy, I just happened to discover the wonderfully endearing videos of Spricket24.

About a month ago, she put together a video recreating her last relationship.... with a gaming system. For us gamers, I think we can all relate



Not only do I recommend the above video, but nearly every video I've watched by her. She is just such a natural entertainer and so lovably goofy. Her videos are such a pleasure to watch.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Bat Boy, Tabloid Superstar: A Culture Kills Comic

I've been thinkin' about this little guy for a while now. Seemed like a good time to bring him back to the comic.

Bat Boy, Tabloid Superstar



The key to compliance

This week we had the 8 year old's parent-teacher interview. As regular readers know, this is not something I look forward to. This is not because it represents bad news but more that I don't really know what to do with myself.

Anyhow, the interview began:
"I have to tell you that your child is a delight."

"Really?"

"Yes, she does everything she is told. She is always ready at the beginning of class with her diary on the table. She works hard all day at projects. And she always helps clean up."

"Umm, we are the Gans family. Take another look at your sheet. Are we talking about the same child?"
Turns out that we were talking about the same child, physically at least. At home, 'compliant' is not the word I would use for Child No.1. Sure faced with the inevitable, she is very good and does most things without being reminded. But on anything extra, well, it is a struggle where she clearly believes that if she complies she might be doing whatever distasteful activity it is for the rest of life. Actually, she is probably right about that.

Nonetheless, let's face it, we can't complain. If we are going to have compliance somewhere best that it be at school. Indeed, we rewarded that by allowing her to have more of a free reign with her time at home.

But I was curious. Why was there such a difference? We asked her:
"Well, of course I am well-behaved. They pay me there."

"What do you mean?"

"We get money. Well, not real money but bonus money. I have the most in the class."
Ah ha, so once again she proves that she is her father's daughter. At school they get the price right which is clearly not the case at home. Nonetheless, I don't think we are going to change things here, lest we upset the current happy situation at school.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Week 15: Pageant of the Transmundane

Hello from Hangzhou, China. I'm currently scouting an soccer team twelve hours from now, I should be able to get this done, sleep and still have time to watch the game before where I usually write these posts from catches up.

The past few weeks we've have a lot of people picking up their second or better Transmundanity Award, but once again, we are doing what we do best and picking out gems found or created by people who have never been so honored.

This week, Splotchy of I, Splotchy fame not only received some recognition from our fine colleague at Electronic Cerebrectomy, but in the course of my journey through the vast seas of the Internet, I discovered something which I deemed ever so Transmundane. You see, a few weeks back, Splotchy found a creepy clown statue in the restaurant window in suburban Chicago, and well, it is weird and strange and perfect for this award.

Now, seeing as this is clown related, I could have gone down the easy road and just found a picture of Homer dressed up like Krusty the Clown, but really, that wasn't creepy. No, I went a little further out in my definition of Homer to include his work, and what was creepier than the clown bed he lovingly and ineptly built for Bart... a bed that Bart was convinced wanted to eat him. Isn't that more in keeping with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award?



So congrats Splotchy, and in recognition of your first win here at Culture Kills, we have a badge made up to commemorate it.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Harold and Kumar 2

All I have to say at the moment:

Doogie's Back! Hell YEAH!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Celebutante Round-up: Drinking the Hater-ade

I'm feeling really mean today... and what better target than dumb, irresponsible celebrities?

  • Britney Spears is threatening to run away with her kids. Part of me is rooting for her to do it so that I don't have to keep hearing about her. However, the rest of me realizes that if she did that, well, Nancy Grace and her harpy media brothers and sisters would be on twenty-four hours a day on every channel screeching about it, and I don't think we as a society could take that. To put it bluntly, if Britney ran away with her kids, it would lead to the end of the world, because the guys and gals that run the missile silos... well, they watch TV too... and eventually one of them would snap and take out New York, Miami or Los Angeles to try to take out not only the celebutantes, but the news media as well.

  • Lohan is Miss-Demeanored: Despite stealing a car, confining its passengers against their will in a speeding car and chasing a woman down a highway whilst drunk and in possession of cocaine, Lindsay Lohan was charged with 7 misdemeanors. Correct me if I am wrong, but haven't people been brutally beaten by the police for far less than that? I am not supporting police brutality mind you, but I think the public would look the other way the next time she did something like that.

  • Paris Hilton settles lawsuit caused by her bitchiness: OK, we all know being someone who dated an ex of Paris Hilton is always a bad idea(though it is so much better to be the before than the after in that case so you aren't going to be a cast member of Hilton's Simplex Life crew. So, I fully believe that she is capable of trying to destroy someone else in the media. I mean, we are all familiar with her work, so I am glad she had to settle with someone because of her bitchy behavior. But you know who should have been getting paid from this. The rest of us for having to put up with this crap. Therefore, I am proposing that every time we have to read a story about a new incident in her life, we send her a bill for a dollar and bleed her dry. After all, when most people want publicity, they have to pay for it, so why shouldn't we get a cut of that?

  • Donald Trump wants the above trio for The Apprentice. I applaud the move, since no one watches The Apprentice anymore, so maybe we'll finally get some peace and quiet as people continue not to watch it. That or someone will finally shave that tabby cat on the top of his head and make some merkins for the three of them.


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

My wee little niece

OK, I am so very rarely personal here, but my sister asked me to pump one of her videos, and well, I can't refuse such a request.

So I present to you all, my wee little niece Helena dancing to the White Stripes in a Jolly Jumper. Huzzah!



Yet Another Youtube Controversy

There is a hubbub brewing at YouTube about breasts and cleavage. And the fact that the cleavage in question is male is what makes this whole situation somewhat unique.

You see, it has become a common practice for people to exploit the screenshot feature at Youtube by posting a freeze frame of breasts/cleavage to get people to watch their videos in the hopes that there will be salacious content. However most of the time, the video in question has nothing to do with that image whatsoever.

Skip to a few months ago when a male blogger nicknamed VisibleMode noticed that one of his older videos was flagged because he jokingly posted a screenshot of himself giving himself male breast cleavage while most of the videos featuring cleavage of the feminine variety as the teaser shot were not flagged.

Naturally, a lot of his female vlogging friends(as well as many of his gender peers) took umbrage at this and have been trying to fight this double standard, and they do have a point really. And the funny thing is, when these same vloggers reposted the image, their videos also got flagged.

This is the image in question:



So I guess these are the rules of the YouTube community now:

If you are a woman, you can show either your own or some other woman's cleavage or breasts(as long as the nipple is not exposed) with no consequences.

If you are a man, you may show a woman's cleavage or breasts if such images do not include the nipple.

If you are a man or a woman, you may not show male breasts or cleavage in a sexualized way.


Yeah... that is exceedingly fair, isn't it?

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Balls of Fury tournament of funny?

When I first heard about Balls of Fury, to be honest, it sounded like a really stupid (in a bad way) movie, and I really had no interest in seeing it.

And then I saw the trailer for the movie on the Hot Fuzz DVD, and I have to say I was intrigued. I mean, I watched all those corny kumite/fighting tournament movies during the 1980's, and I don't know how many times I saw Bloodsport, and knowing that this comedy was taking those conventions and applying it to Ping Pong of all things, well, that somehow gave it a sheen of hilarity.

And the fact that Patton Oswalt, James Hong and Christopher Walken are in it, and now I really want to see it.

The ever-gracious Michelle from 360i, knowing that I am a huge fan of Mr. Oswalt, sent me an extended clip from the movie featuring his character, The Hammer. It is pure Patton goodness as his geekishness shines right through.

So... will this be the first time I've been drawn into the aspirations of an American trying to excel at Ping Pong since Forrest Gump? Only time will tell.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Wanted: More Informational Screenshots

When I am thinking about buying a game, I generally do my research, and a major part of that process involves browsing a lot of game review sites. However, I've noticed that in large part, my needs aren't being served in a very specific way.

You see, when a game is being previewed or reviewed, the kind of screenshots I really want to see are interface, menu, presentation and information graphics shots, especially when it comes to strategy and sports games because, to me, they provide a much more accurate impression of a game than the kind of images that are usually presented.

For instance, I feel I derive a lot more information about a title from a shot like this:



than five to fifteen like this (I wish I was exaggerating):



I know that the latter shot isn't real gameplay, but rather a replay, and it doesn't accurately reflect anything substantive about the game. Contrast that with the first shot, which reveals an actual gameplay feature (that a player will be asked to make team related decisions between games), and I think you can see what I mean. They are an important part of the review process because a significant portion of the experience of playing these games takes place outside off the field or between battles.

I guess that game companies want to show potential buyers how good their graphics look, or in the case of sports, how close the presentation is to the real thing, but it doesn't serve the entire customer base. Informational shots aren't "sexy" but they do serve a definite purpose, and while I can understand that perhaps a company doesn't want to tip their hand or potentially make some of their customers mad if they show a feature that doesn't make it into the final product, I still think that these kinds of images are just as important as gameplay when trying to give a potential customer a true sense of a game.

But generally speaking, isn't a more accurate demonstration of gameplay provided by the movies that game companies release. And in all honesty, I can think of maybe two times that seeing the informational/presentation part of a game before I went out and bought it changed my mind negatively towards a game, but I can think of a lot of games that I was sold on after seeing some of the menus(and the features therein), so the rewards surely outweigh the risks in giving your potential audience this kind of information. To me, doing otherwise is basically like hiding 20-50% of a game from those who might buy it, and that is never good form.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Giving yourself to the schedule

There was an interesting New York Times article this week about a family who had trouble of keeping track of their cars. To resolve the issue, the mother, writing the story, adopted Google Calendar to resolve the situation:
That’s all they would need to create personal calendars that they could share online with a master family calendar, which would display all appointments in color-coded text blocks. Another thing that set Google apart was a recently beefed-up spreadsheet tool that enables me to create a monthly budget chart that might trick my husband into confronting the truth about our finances. I also had big plans to use the documents tool to make a grocery list everyone could edit.
Turns out that she had mixed success.

For that family, giving themselves over to the need for a group schedule appears to have happened late. For us, it happened a few years ago. The parties escalated (and as regular readers know that is a big problem for us), the after school activities grew in number, there were events at school and just many amendments to a normal weekly schedule. Add into the mix that on certain evenings or on certain days one or both of us might have work commitments or travel and just keeping up became a nightmare.

Our initial pass was to agree to put all events on the calendar on our iMac in the kitchen. The idea being, if it is not there, it does not exist. That was a good solution but sometimes you find out about something at work and don't have access to the home machine. Also, you might need to commit to a work event but can't consult the schedule.

After much angst about whether we could rely on an internet-based means of scheduling, I moved us over to Google Calendar. What a marvel it is. It is so easy to consult, put schedules in, and even link to maps of where to go. We have separate calendars for all five of us and am teaching the two eldest to put parties and the like in the schedule themselves. That way we can train them early before it is seen as an imposition. Big Brother serves best when they are young.

Many people have reacted in horror to this outcome that we use IT to communicate rather than some personal touch. Well, those people do not understand the magnitude of the logistical problem we face. More often than not they have a single person responsible for where the children are. We can't rely on that and so we track them on Google. If we could get some GPS locators on them and tie that back in we will be set. It might seem impersonal but there is nothing less personal than a lost child. Can you imagine the conversation with police?
"So can you tell us where you last saw your child?"

"Well, this morning but her mother apparently dropped her off at a party at 10."

"It is 2 now, who picked her up?"

"It was supposed to be me but it turned out that I was taking another child to Taekwando."

"So the mother stepped in ..."

"Well, she had to take the youngest to another party."

"Have you checked at the 10am party?"

"Well, the invitation went with the child and we have no record at the moment of whose party it was or where it was held."

"Have you thought of putting this on Google? It's free."
I mean, we all want to avoid that.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Week 14: Pageant of the Transmundane

Hello from El Paso, Texas. I received an invitation to a golf tournament, but all I can seem to find is Lee Trevino Drive and Pebble Hills Boulevard. It is a strange, strange place, and I want to get out of here as quickly as I can so I will make this quick while I run to the International Airport.

Jen from Casual Slack found a picture that I absolutely adored this week. It has two elements which I am a huge fan of, but I won't tell you what they are until I tell you my reaction.

When I first saw the image, I exclaimed both in real life and in print, "That is the shit!" And indeed it is.

If you read her blog with any regularity, you probably know exactly what picture I am talking about, but if you don't, here goes:

It is Betty White being a total Samuel L. Jacksonesque badass. It is wonderfully surreal to say the least, and something that deserved some recognition.

And to celebrate this win, well, only a shot of Homer and Betty White together would do. Thus, we have a nice promotional drawing from the episode Homerazzi. So, for Jen's second Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award, I think it is a great trophy, don't you?



Congrats Jen, congrats. Huzzah!



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

No, not Bruce Lee's legacy too!

What's the news: Warner Brothers wants to remake Enter the Dragon as Awaken the Dragon

Why are they doing this: They are morally and creatively bankrupt.

What does this feel like: It seems like they are squatting down and takin' a big ole dump on Bruce Lee's grave.

What I think should happen: All those involved should either be kicked hard in the groin or punched very hard in the head, and then when they are on the ground, they should be kicked mercilessly until they are both bleeding and unconscious.

What is really going to happen: I am going to whine some more about how Hollywood executives are wrecking our cultural heritage by destroying the work of earlier filmmakers by making their own substandard versions of the same stories, and then said films will make enough cash to justify revisiting more films and the cycle will continue until there are no original films being made.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Child Beater II: The Revenge

About 7 months ago, a video called Child Beater was created, and took the internet by storm. The video details a humorous fight between a father and his two young boys. It was like a cross between the Will Ferrell/Pearl videos and something out of a Pink Panther movie.

A few days ago, the same filmmaker uploaded the sequel, and it is hilarious.



Part of me winces watching it, even as I laugh.

Mandy Patinkin shunned

Part of me absolutely loved reading about Mandy Patinkin filming his final scenes for Criminal Minds today.

Don't get me wrong, I have really enjoyed his work on the above mentioned show, as well as Dead Like Me, but the story that is being told now is that his former cast members outright refused to appear in a scene with him after the way he left the series.

Which is pretty bad I admit... but then they twisted the knife a little bit more. It seems that the regular crew for the show also said they didn't want to be on set with him either so the producers had to bring in a special unit to do that work.

Ouch.

It's one thing to piss off your costars... but to piss off the crew too, that takes talent. And while actors may do a few different projects every year, think about how many gigs a lot of the backstage staff have, and the farther reaching consequences for that.

I mean, that is the kind of thing that could really follow you around, as I am sure that eventually, every set that Patinkin works on will eventually have someone on that crew that worked with him at Criminal Minds and is talking shit about him. Or perhaps there are going to be projects that he wanted to work on that because of the people involved, he will not get those jobs.

In the end, it looks like Mandy Patinkin's hasty second exit from a CBS television show is going to be costly. Leaving Chicago Hope was forgivable, but leaving a second series the same way will permanently hurt his career.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Stop me before I talk about a new tv series again!

Looking back over the past season of television, I couldn't help but notice that in nearly every time I mentioned a new TV series, it was dropped from the schedule faster than a hot potato. I was like the blogger angel of death of television... if I discuss a show, it dies!

I mean, in just the past few weeks, I wrote about both Greek and The Knights of Prosperity and the week that I did, ABC stopped showing them on network TV. And I championed Smith when it first came on, as well as Studio 60.

It seemed like as long as I didn't write about particular shows, they would seem to do alright, but once I spoke up, Bam! it was permanent hiatus time. That is especially true of Knights, as I avoided talking about the show until I thought it was safe. And as soon as I did, it got canned.

Let's see the shows that I wrote about that didn't make it:

Smith
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Daybreak
3 Lbs
The Knights of Prosperity
Greek

What made it:

Ugly Betty(really, I couldn't have killed it, even if I wanted to)
Shark(maybe the fact that I gave up on it saved it in the end... that or the CSI lead-in)

I guess it is a good thing I never watched Heroes and thus wrote about a lot of the other shows that people really liked this season, as I could have easily put the whammy on them as well.

So my new pledge is to write only about shows I hated and ones that are established. I think that should keep things at the television morgue a little slower.

A game-based neurosis

Hello. My name is Matthew and I am a video game clothes horse.

I don't know how it happened, but at some point in time, I discovered that if you can customize a character with clothing, jewelry and hair styles purely for aesthetics and with no other game play value, I have a tendency to go overboard. In other words, I am a compulsive in-character shopper.

I certainly didn't have this problem when I was playing the Discworld MUD, as I was all business there, even with the wide variety of customizable options, so this has to be a recent occurrence.

Perhaps it was back in 2001 when I first started playing The Sims and my pack rat mentality slid past my inhibitions and I went insane downloading as many free skins and objects as I could so I had options. I also remember doing something similar though to a far lesser extent with Unreal Tournament, but since I ended up using nearly every model and voice pack to create a unique set of personalized bots, it wasn't really the same thing.

But things always seemed to be different on the console front. I mean, on most of the earlier console games, it seems like there weren't the kinds of customization options there are now. I mean, at most you might be able to choose between 5-8 different parts and between a few skin tones or clothing shades to make a character unique, both after that, it was pretty much cookie cutter.

And then I bought a Playstation 2 and customization is the way to go. I remember having the impulse to buy things that I really don't need when I first started playing Def Jam: Fight for New York, and there is the whole clothing aspect of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas as well. But as I bought more games, it seemed like this neat little innovation was everywhere: EA Sports Big's Street titles, Soul Calibur III, and even The Simpsons: Hit and Run encourage you to shop for clothing in their own little worlds.

I finally realized I had a problem last night while I was playing Bully and I noticed that I was basically wearing the same shirt as the lead character. It was a heart wrenching moment for me. Put it this way, it has to say something about me that I own more clothes in a lot of individual games than I do in real life.

So I ask you, my peers, if any of you can relate to this particular mental peculiarity?

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Sunday Night Video: Weird Harland Williams clip

As a Canadian, I know that Harland Williams is a little strange as a comedian... but his recent appearance on Conan O'Brien was even more weird than usual, almost as if chemicals were involved.



Weird, wild stuff.

Emo Tears: A Culture Kills Comic

Emo Tears



OK, I admit it... I took a cheap shot... but it was fun nonetheless.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Week 13: Pageant of the Transmundane

This week's winner is no stranger to this award, as they managed to string together three stellar entries during the first year of this award to net themselves a Transmundanity Triple Crown, so it should come as no surprise that they are once again elevated to this lofty position.

Ahem. Drumroll please.

And the winner is: Becca from No Smoking in the Skull Cave discovered a delightful set of Star Wars figures in a book of collectibles. They are hippos. Plastic Hippos. Blue Plastic Hippos. German Blue Plastic Hippos from Kinder. That is a lot of repetition, but in this case, I think it deserved it.

Now, finding a Simpsons/Star Wars picture would be quite easy for this award, but I wanted to challenge myself and find an equally fitting image for this week's winner, and I just happened to remember that at one point, the Simpsons visited Tanzania during a bag boys strike in Springfield and they were chased by a hippo, and thus, another unique Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award Moment.



Congratulations Becca on winning your fourth award in just over a year.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

A Few Related Thoughts


  • Is it just me, or is Melanie "Sporty Spice" Chisholm the normal one out of all the Spice Girls now? I mean, Posh is two steps away from being a praying mantis hocking Xenu, Scary is getting into a paternity fight with Eddie Murphy and the tales of Baby Spice's love affair emerging recently and Ginger's problems are generally well-known. So why am I saying Sporty is the normal one? Simple; she's the one who really didn't want to go back on tour with those other four. It takes a sane person to realize that.

  • I have come to a conclusion: I could be sold on any movie that features a Van Halen with David Lee Roth song in the trailer. I mean, that is half the reason why I want to see Superbad so much.

  • And speaking of Superbad, apparently writer-actor Seth Rogen got one upped by Simon Pegg... as Rogen was mulling over making a slacker zombie comedy himself before Shaun of the Dead was released. Rogen stated, "When I first saw Shaun Of The Dead, I thought, 'F**k! F**k those guys!' I'd been thinking of writing a zombie movie about two dudes, and then that came along. I couldn't believe it! Not only are these guys quicker, they're better than me, too!" Of course, Spaced fans know that the genesis of that movie was the third episode of the first series opening from back in 1999.

  • Which reminds me of a discussion I was having with Semaj about the upcoming Ant-Man movie which Edgar Wright is writing and directing, and I think the crux of the argument came down to this: with questionable licensed properties, a good writer or director can find the gold amongst the silt to make a good movie. It may not be completely faithful to the source material, but it will stand well on its own. That's why I still believe that with the right writer/director team, a video game based movie could work.


Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Hilarious Bush Video

Angela Gunn from USA Today's Tech Space presented the following video today, and usually I would save something this good for the Sunday Night Video, but this one is just so good, I couldn't wait.

In short, you have to see this thing.



As Stewie Griffin once put it, this is so good, it has to be fattening.

Flash: Knights of Prosperity returns

I was looking at the listings for tonight, and it appears that ABC is burning out the remaining episodes of The Knights of Prosperity now.

They are showing two episodes tonight, one at 8:30 and one and 9:30.

I know some of you out there liked it too, so I thought I would pass this on.

Improving 24 Revisited

I was a great fan of 24, but really, season 6 was just a steaming pile of rotting roadkill narrative. In short, it was bad, especially in comparison to the stellar fifth season.

Anyway, today the IMDB posted a link to a post over at Empire Online detailing 10 ways to Improve 24, and I have to say that each of the suggestions have merits, though I am not entirely sold on suggestion 10: bringing in Chuck Norris. I just can't see that working, though it is funny to contemplate.

And of course, I've been vocal about my own suggestion for changing the 24 formula up, but if the producers and writers of the show took some of the ideas that Nick de Semlyen has laid out, I think that the show can pull out of the nose dive and once again regain the love of its viewers.

But I always thought that 24 needed a bit more comic relief, a role that at times was played by Mary Lynn Rakskub's Chloe, but really, there needs to be a bit more. In drama, you sometimes need something to break the tension, because if everything is designed to give the viewer white-knuckles, then basically a lot of events lose their bite. You can only amp things up a certain degree, and then there is nowhere else you can go. And because in part 24 takes place in an office setting, well, in most places, there is always someone who has a quip or a burn for even the most dire of situations, and I think that these people would also probably be employed by the fictional federal government. There are smartasses everywhere.

Of course, knowing 24, such a character would probably get whacked before noon.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

I have the Power of Schmooze

Both SamuraiFrog from Electronic Cerebrectomy and Becca from No Smoking in the Skullcave gave me this fancy award:



It is the Power of Schmooze Award. And as the nature of the award is meant to reward 5 peers who are rather good at not only building their own communities, but enriching the entire blogosphere with their presence, and that is a tall order, isn't it. But I know of 5 bloggers that more than fit that description.

So the 5 winners from Culture Kills country are:

Dutchy from The Dutch Files - Yvonne has nominated me for awards, encouraged me to keep pushing forward on the comics and she has put together a solid community, one that has carried over through multiple web addresses.

Hilly from Snackie's World - Not only is Hilly a simply awesome per-blogger and Homerphile who has cultivated an expansive group of peers into a wonderful circle of friends, but she is also a collaborative blogger in the wonderful world of TV blogging. It is quite impressive.

Mr. Fabulous of Pointless Drivel - The dude runs multiple blogs, has a radio show, and is keeping pace in the wild world of Transmundanity... how could he not be a schmoozer?

Jen from Casual Slack - She is like the cornerstone of a comedic empire. It is amazing, it really is.

The crew at The Fifth Column - Incisive writing about current events, social issues and the personal. Stunningly good.

Of course, those who have received this honor are supposed to give it out to 5 people as well. Not twisting anyone's arm to do that mind you.

Influences on children

Two new subversive influences on children. First, apparently, children are happy to eat pretty much anything if it is in a McDonald's wrapper. As I have said before, parents should rejoice at this since it will make their task of getting kids to eat healthy stuff alot easier.

More worrying is a Wash U. study that suggests that Baby Einstein can impair speech development. Hard to see what the mechanism is here but it is not good news for those products. From my perspective, Baby Einstein gave our children a whole sentence of vocabulary: "I want a DVD now."

Movie Censorship at Home: Canada

Last week, when I wrote that entry about movie censorship around the world, I just happened to browse the IMDB and notice that my country has at one time banned quite a few movies, though it seems that most of those bans are no longer in force. I have to admit that it is always interesting to look through the titles of movies that are or were once banned in your country.

The list throughout those pre-1992 years is a nice menagerie of movies: Day of the Dead, The Tin Drum, Pink Flamingos, Bad Taste, Caligula, and a lot of grindhouse/direct to video movies that really don't bear mentioning.

But in recent years, our country has gotten a bit more liberal about some things. For instance, I have a hard time imagining a movie like Kill Bill being shown on national network television uncut in the United States, even after 10PM. In fact, looking at some of the banned movies on that list, part of me thinks that perhaps it may have been banned provincially if it was released a few decades earlier. Then again, even when I was a kid, I remember watching European movies like My Life as a Dog, Manon des sources and Tampopo on the CBC uncut, so who knows what might have happened.

But before I begin, I should explain something. You see, Canada doesn't have an industry wide rating board like the MPAA, but rather. we have individual provincial rating boards, and sometimes they don't see eye to eye on what is and is not acceptable but generally speaking, there are some things that will get a movie banned in at least one area of Canada, if not the whole country in this day and age.

For instance, in a pornographic movie, if the sexual acts depicted demean the female participant(s), there is overt violence or the work truly turns them into sexual objects, then there is a chance it will not be allowed into Canada. Since 1998, these movies represent a majority of banned movies here in Canada, largely based on the Butler case which was predicated on community standards not protecting society from obscenity, but rather that in some cases, the most extreme pornographic movies posed a threat to women as members of society.

Then there is 2000's Fred: The Movie, which is a documentary film that is an examination of Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church. But in a weird twist, the filmmaker ended up joining the Church while he was filming the movie, and so the focus of the movie shifted away from its original theme and became something completely different. Because of the rather inflammatory things that Reverend Phelps is known for saying, the movie is banned in Canada based on our hate crime laws.

There was also some controversy over a movie called À ma soeur!/Fat Girl, which featured simulated sex scenes between minors. Here is the funny part. It was banned in Ontario for 3 years, rated R in Alberta and yet if you lived in Nova Scotia, you could go see the movie when you were 14. In 2003, the head of the Ontario rating board changed, and with that change came some changes to the code and the movie was released in this province.

And then there is Karla, which is the story of Karla Homolka, accessory to rape and murder for Paul Bernardo. The movie, starring Laura Prepon is apparently banned in the specific cities where the crimes took place and the victims were from. I can't confirm that mind you.

Now, with all that being said, it is also interesting to note that in a lot of cases, movies receiving lower ratings in Canada than they do in the United States... the funniest of which has to be the discrepancy for This Film is Not Yet Rated, the stinging rebuke of the MPAA's secrecy and the seeming double standard the rating body has when it comes to independent and studio films. The MPAA rating: NC-17(rating surrendered). The Canadian Rating: 14.

I think this whole entry boils down to me being able to look at some of the challenges movies face overseas with a clearer eye now that I've laid out the censorship challenges that are right here in my own backyard.

A very short post with two creepy links

Ok, this thing is just creepy.

And then I saw this...

It is the uncanny valley indeed.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Sunday Night Video: Kevin Smith burns a Heckler



The Story: Kevin Smith appeared at Comic Con and during the Q and A, someone asked an insulting question, and Smith just slaughters him verbally. It was a thing of beauty.

Beware of Luchadors Bearing Grudges: A Culture Kills Comic

I am so happy that Strip Generator added a genuine vector based luchador for me to play with.

Beware of Luchadors Bearing Grudges



Ah, the joys of Mexican masked wrestling.