Remembering 100 Girls

While the recent film Shoot Em Up wasn't even close to being the greatest movie released in 2007, it did show a lot of polish and promise for the work of Michael Davis.

When I first noticed his name in the credits, I almost did a double take, as I had been a long time fan of one of his earlier movies, 100 Girls, which was released in 2000.

And after being reminded of that earlier movie, I decided to watch it once more... and suddenly all of its flaws became apparent. It was clearly a movie I had outgrown. However, I still thought it was worthy of discussion because of some of the elements involved. Also, in seeing the flaws, I think it shows that I may be maturing as a movie viewer. So this, unlike many of my previous Remembering columns, will not be a fond recollection, but rather, more a cutting rebuke of something that I once loved.

I would almost consider this my farewell letter to the movie, as it was a rocky breakup.

100 Girls is the story of Matthew(Jonathan Tucker), a college freshman who also works as a handyman around campus. At the beginning of the narrative, he ends up getting stuck in an elevator during a blackout with a girl whose face he never sees, and as they get to know each other through the night, he begins to fall in love with her and believe that she is, in his own words, his kismetic destiny and by the end of the night, the two have had sex and in the morning he wakes up alone with very few clues as to who she really is, and a mystery to solve: who was that girl that so enraptured his heart?

The problem is, that elevator just happened to be at the women's dorm, and poor Matthew is left with the arduous task of trying to determine which of the 100 Girls who live there is the one that he loves.

Of course, as members of the audience, well, we do sort of get a set of cliff notes, because while there are indeed 100 girls living in that dorm, well, we only have to concentrate on about five because they are both better known actresses (in the context of this movie) and they actually have some semblance of plotting around them, even though they are pretty much stock characters in this drama as well. I am not going to wreck the movie by disclosing too many key details, but there are things that I can address without giving too much away.

And I am not just pulling this out of nowhere because in some versions of the credits, they are actually referred to in this format Name the [Character Type].

So here is who ends up being the possible choices for Matthew in his quest to find his kismetic destiny:

Promiscuous Patty, played by Emmanuelle Chriqui, who also appeared as a missed connection in her next movie, the thankfully forgettable On the Line with a pre-outed Lance Bass as her romantic pursuer.

Arlene the Tomboy played by Katherine Heigl, who is getting quite adept at playing a certain type of role nowadays both on and off screen, so she is becoming quite the method actress. That or her true colors are showing.

Wendy the Girl Next Door played by Larisa Oleynik, from both Ten Things I Hate About You and 3rd Rock from the Sun and who most recently appeared in the aptly titled movie, Relative Obscurity. I kid... she attended college for real and graduated, so she has a reason for not doing a lot of work for a couple of years.

Dora the Smart Girl(though "Ugly" comes up too) played by Scientologist, wife of Beck and fraternal twin to a dude named Giovanni, Marisa Ribisi. After yesterday, you know that the first part of the description of the actress is the true insult.

And last but not least, there is Sexy Cynthia played by My Name is Earl's Jaime Pressly, who is turning playing white trash into an artform.

Now, let's think about this for a second. After looking at the above list and thinking about the task that Matthew faces... well, it doesn't seem that hard, does it? I mean, the basis of his love was borne both of an emotional connection engendered by conversation and a physical liaison. Now I don't know about you, but even in the dark, if I had to rely on touch and my ears to narrow things down in such a situation, I think I could tell the difference between those five people. Of course, thinking about things in the real world, I think if I was having a conversation with a member of the opposite sex in a pitch black elevator and it was going exceedingly well, there would be a moment where I said something like, oh I don't know, "Hi, my name is Matt". But then, if the movie Matthew did that, well, then there would be no movie.

And when I first saw the movie, well, I didn't really question the methodology of the search, but in retrospect, it is sort of creepy. You see, one of the souvenirs that Matthew got from his tryst was a pair of panties, and he thought the best way to find the girl was to match those panties with a particular bra, which meant that he went through a lot of drawers.

Of course, not only is that questionable reasoning, but going through the underthings of a bunch of strangers and the one person you do have carnal knowledge of is just skeezy. And after that fails to get results(even with the help of a resident of said dorm), he then resorts to one of the lamest though widely used movie techniques to try to gain the confidence of a seemingly secretive group.

He dresses up like a woman. So let me get this straight... he's been hanging around the dorm as a guy for weeks and weeks, and almost everyone there has talked to him for a significant amount of time, and one night this strange girl named Francesca shows up who looks exactly like him, and yet, no one says anything about it even as he/she interacts with them. I mean, he repeatedly goes out in that get up and at one point even his male roommate hits on him, and then later lies about sleeping with Francesca. Now I could see if he happened to be wearing a bunch of prosthetics and rubber and such, but he wasn't... it was just him in a dress, a padded bra, a bad wig and some less than sensible shoes. Yeah, I'd love to hear a story of something like this fooling anyone in real life.

So that is two strikes in the logic department for this movie. But even when I saw these fundamental flaws in the film, there was still something that kept me coming back.

You see, as Matthew undertakes his quest to find his mystery lover, he also starts along a path of philosophical discovery about the nature of relationships between men and women and he came to some conclusions, which when I was 23 were stunning, but at 31 are rather pedestrian.

So while he is getting to know all these girls he sometimes comes to realizations like this: "There are no clearly defined rules between men and women. So, each side thinks they're playing fair and each side thinks they're being cheated. Maybe, this is why men and women have the innate ability to bring out the poison in one another." Or the main character finding a correlation between the way men and women shop and the way they choose sex partners. That's some real groundbreaking stuff. And of course, no movie in 2000 would have been complete without lifting something seemingly philosophical from Fight Club, and of course, and 100 Girls is no exception (a tiff that is basically a rehash of "We're a generation of men raised by women"). So again, in hindsight it isn't bringing anything new to the table, and in fact, as I watched it recently, almost every line of dialogue seems forced and unnatural, and not in that hip way. It just isn't cutting it.

And after watching the movie again, it made me laugh thinking about Katherine Heigl's comments about Knocked Up being a little sexist... when she was featured prominently in 100 Girls which is almost the epitome of being sexist while trying to appear that not to be. It is like she doesn't remember making this movie, or some of the scenes she was in. Before I became disenchanted with the film, I used to call it a romantic comedy geared towards guys, because despite the fact that nearly the entire cast is female, well, one guy wrote all those parts. Now I am not saying that a man can't write convincing dialogue for women, because the history of cinema is chock full of people who did just that. What I am saying is the man who wrote the script for the Double Dragon movie was still had a few things to learn about it in 2000, and well, he didn't seem to pick up anything new by the time he wrote and directed a 2002 movie that while not being a sequel at all, you would be hard pressed to figure that out from the title. It was called 100 Women, and it is a horrible, horrible movie that makes 100 Girls look like a Nick Hornby novel.

So in the end, what 100 Girls really accomplishes is simple. It makes Shoot Em Up look like a bloody masterpiece, because in comparison, that's what it is. Action and snappy one liners seem to be more Davis' strength than romance and pseudoteen angst ever were. When I used to review albums from groups that showed promise, I used to say that I was looking forward to seeing what they did on their next release and I can honestly say that I do indeed want to know if Michael Davis is going to continue honing his craft as an action director or if he is going to subject the world to another romantic comedy. I hope it is the former, I really do.

Tags: michael davis, 100 girls, jonathan tucker, nick hornby, giovanni ribisi, scientology, marisa ribisi, double dragon, shoot em up, emmanuelle chriqui, larisa oleynik, jaime pressly, katherine heigl, fight club, 100 women, sex, romantic comedy, my name is earl, action, learning curve, knocked up, judd apatow, gun porn

Man Vs. Mascot: The Epic Battle

Working on something longer, and I was going to post this last night because it is sheer awesomeness, so here it is.

Man vs. Mascot in Orlando, Florida. And folks, we are all winners in this.

I just imagine how hot it would be in that costume, and yet, whoever was in there still brought it, and from what I've read, that mascot is sort of a fixture now, which is why someone presented the challenge in the first place.

Tags: orlando, florida, popping, locking, breakdancing, headspinning, street battle, viral video, yellow dog, mascot

Scientology: A Perspective

This one is an oldie but a goody. Back in October 2004, months before Tom Cruise assaulted the furniture on Oprah, mated with Joey from Dawson's Creek, called Matt Lauer glib for deigning to bring up anti-depressants and long before that kooky video that has been all the rage wherever it shows up, I wrote the following little piece about the Church of Scientology. I've made a few small alterations to the text, and changed a few of the references, but for the most part, it is the piece I wrote over 3 years ago. I've also written a short epilogue based on some of the above events.

--

I think by now most of you know that I really don't like Scientologist. No, scratch that... "don't like" is not a strong enough statement for my feelings on this cult. Despise and hate are both more apt descriptions of my feelings about Scientology and its membership.

I have a hard time respecting people who base their lives on the writings/teachings of a fourth rate science fiction writer and a con man, and people who have to pay increasing amounts of money for enlightenment. I have little respect for people who would willingly give up connections with family and friends if they were at all critical of the "church". At it's base, it is really just a giant pyramid scheme that is defrauding people and gathering incriminating information about them so that if they do decide to leave, there is ample ammunition to destroy them, and it isn't right.

I mean, historically the word "Scientology" was coined in 1907 as a synonym for pseudoscience, and yet, Hubbard was able to subvert the meaning of the word to his own ends.

Of course, the bread and butter for the Church of Scientology are the celebrities, because, let's face it, they are good ambassadors for the cult. As Ron Hubbard was to say in 1973, "Celebrities are very Special people and have a very distinct line of dissemination. They have comm[unication] lines that others do not have and many medias to get their dissemination through..." and when Diana Canova, a seven-year member of the church was able to break their hold on her, she spoke about the pressure to get other celebrities into the Church. When I find out an actor/actress I've enjoyed watching in the past is a Scientologist... it's like they die to me. I can't respect them after that. It tarnishes their work for me. There are many figurative tombstones now, aside from the obvious Cruise-Travolta-Alley ones, people like Jenna Elfman, the Mastersons(Hyde from That 70's Show and Francis from Malcolm in the Middle), the Ribisis, Isaac Hayes, Nancy Cartwright (Bart and various other characters from The Simpsons), Leah Remini, Will Smith and Beck. Of course, they also receive preferential treatment, and since they are the group's elite, the low level follower of the church(read POOR/middle class) get virtually no respect. Money is what talks in Scientology, nothing else.

And say what you will about a lot of religions, but generally speaking, they don't keep their scriptures hidden from their followers or the general public. If Scientology's message was so benign, so altruistic, then why both force adherents to put increasing amounts of money into the church to ascend up the hierarchy, and why have the lawyers on speed dial whenever even a bit of the higher-level teachings gets out of the church, or if moderate criticism is leveled at the church.

"The purpose of the suit is to harass and discourage rather than to win. The law can be used very easily to harass, and enough harassment on somebody who is simply on the thin edge anyway, well knowing that he is not authorized, will generally be sufficient to cause his professional decease. If possible, of course, ruin him utterly." Ron L. Hubbard - 1955. There is also this statement from Hubbard in 1967: "ENEMY SP(Suppressive Person) Order. Fair game. May be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed."

Then again, the creator of the church has made a lot of other interesting statements in the past like: "THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN CONTROL PEOPLE IS TO LIE TO THEM. You can write that down in your book in great big letters. The only way you can control anybody is to lie to them." and "MAKE MONEY. MAKE MORE MONEY. MAKE OTHER PEOPLE PRODUCE SO AS TO MAKE MORE MONEY." and "Scientology is the only specific (cure) for radiation (atomic bomb) burns."

And of course, in short from Hubbard's own pen in 1953 about the group: "It is not a psycho-therapy nor a religion." He also stated that "I'd like to start a religion. That's where the money is," in 1949, so it seems like most of Western Europe was right in denying Scientology the right to religious tax benefits. (In other documentation, it seems that the only reason that they classify themselves as a church is for the accounting/tax benefits)

--

Of course in the years since I wrote this, I've also come to a few realizations.

For one, while it feels good to not be the only one who looks at the Church of Scientology in a negative way, I came to the conclusion that perhaps there is a scam of another variety going on here.

I mean, what is the easiest way to defuse criticisms that a secretive group is dangerous? One way would involve becoming more transparent, but since Scientology is a profit-oriented enterprise that makes much of its money from the slow dissemination of information to people who pay them a lot of money for that privilege, that wouldn't be in the best interests of those at the top. Or perhaps trying to counter each of those supposedly incorrect claims with well-reasoned arguments and evidence would help the Church win a battle like this, but again that doesn't seem like a tactic Scientology would use outside of a court room.

However, there is another way to go about fighting this: publicly change the image of the organization by having someone famous who held a prominent position in the group act in a certain way repeatedly in very public venues to make the stories about the behavior and personality rather than the negative aspects of the cult itself, because those that witnessed those events repeated would find themselves asking how can a religion so laughably kooky be dangerous and would find themselves discussing the events they had seen on television and on the internet rather than the underlying structure or criticisms of the "faith" which that person represents.

Therefore, it is my belief that Tom Cruise and Scientology are indeed working this particular angle and I have a very specific reason for this. You see, the Church of Scientology is right up there with the MPAA and the RIAA in terms of pursuing litigation, especially in matters of copyright and slander/libel, but at the moment, the group hasn't really put forth an effort to try to contain this most recent Tom Cruise video "leak" which is most prominently being shown Gawker. Sure, they've made requests to some of the major video sites to take down the most current Tom Cruise video, but they aren't really pushing it with Gawker. In fact, Gawker has noted that traffic to the Scientology site has increased tenfold since that video was released into the wild. Granted, some of that could have been generated in a recent Anonymous Denial of Service attack on the site, but I think at least some of that traffic was legitimate.

To put this whole thing into perspective, there was a video floating around the internet a couple years ago taken during a Scientology orientation, which the Church has been trying desperately to contain. Think about that... the video you are shown when you are thinking about joining their faith isn't to be seen by the general public and is actionable, but a video where one of the most prominent members of the church is talking in very specific high level jargon is somewhat OK in the organization's eyes? And I do believe the rumors that Tom Cruise threatened to not promote Mission Impossible III if another Viacom entity, Comedy Central, reaired the Church critical episode of South Park entitled "Trapped in the Closet" because that does seem to be in keeping with some of their earlier actions.

I mean, if someone wasn't familiar with the Church and some of the things they have done, simply based their perception of the group on the behavior of its wacky celebrity emissary, the work that groups like Operation Clambake or Anonymous are doing seem like a waste of time, so Cruise's antics act like a dampening field around Scientology, blunting attacks and taking oxygen away from more pressing attacks of the organization.

To me, it is almost akin to the Wizard of Oz. Pay no attention to the leaders behind the curtain, and instead, look only at the larger than life floating ego-filled head of a vocal celebrity idiot... because while we are all laughing, they can continue to operate virtually unfettered. And that is the scariest thought of all.

Tags: scientology, john travolta, tom cruise, katie holmes, kirstie alley, beck, will smith, dawson's creek, lisa mcpherson, hubbard, gawker, anonymous, operation clambake, fair game, blackmail, wizard of oz, nancy cartwright, simpsons, isaac hayes, bbc, harassment, will smith, psychology, jargon, cult, indoctrination, south park, public danger

First interview

This was today.

Interview with Steve Yegge on Rhino on Rails and more

By Dion Almaer, Google Developer Programs

Last year, Steve Yegge posted about Rhino on Rails, his port of Ruby on Rails to the JavaScript language on the Rhino runtime. It garnered a slew of interest, and I have been wanting to talk to him in more detail about the project.

Fortunately, I happened to be at the Google Kirkland office and Steve graciously had time to spend talking about the framework. Steve is an entertaining chap, and manages to keep you interested with long blog entries, and did the same as I chatted with him.

In the conversation we cover the germination of the project, why Steve went ahead with the port, the side effects of JavaScript on the server, how Rhino will be implementing JavaScript 2 / ECMAScript 4 (with Google committing engineers to the project), the intent to open source RnR, and random thoughts from a language geek.

Give it a watch, and let us know if there are any other questions you would have liked to ask

Tickets to Kids' Concerts

From Freakonomics, an economist dad's story about his bold plan to get Hannah Montana tickets. It worked out for the child but not for economics. Hannah Montana is currently a household obsession for our children. If we ever decide to go, I am getting tickets early.

Am I Cut Out for this?

You ever have one of those weeks where your really start doubting yourself. Well, the past week has been one of those for me.

Some days, I feel like I am not geeky enough to be writing a blog in this niche.

And I don't mean geeky in any negative sort of way, because to me, being geeky is a good thing, especially in this particular blogging niche, after all, writing about Pop Culture takes a certain amount of obsession.

I think the thing that brought this to a head for me was reading Samuraifrog's admission that in his lifetime he has seen conservatively 6500 films, and there are other fellow bloggers who have a similar mastery of a particular subject matter which makes me feel less than stellar about my own place as an observer/critic of popular culture. I can't really stack up to that.

I mean, I don't read comics or graphic novels, my exposure to new music has largely been whittled down to the rarely to occasionally end of the survey scales over the past couple of years and frankly, in matters of taste, well, I would hardly call myself ultrasophisticated. I do have my moments, but I am certainly not the person I was when I was 21, the one who had an opinion on everything, and was more than happy to share it with everyone, and now, I am full of hesitation. In the end, that likely avoids a lot of conflict, but at the same time, it also avoids getting at the meat of certain issues and I think that is a real weakness in my style, because if I am not really bring anything unique from my cultural background, I should at least be delivering on this front, but alas, that is also something I feel I am not doing.

I know that I shouldn't compare myself with you, my peers, but at times, it is hard not to, even though blogging is a very personal experience.

And no, I am not trying to solicit your sympathy by writing this or fishing for compliments. I am merely stating some of my own insecurities in the hope that it would make me feel a little better, because I usually end up doing a post like this 2 or 3 times a year.

Tags: niche blogging, pop culture, samuraifrog, movies, music, comics, graphic novels, insecurities, perblogging, fitting in

Sunday Night Videos: Glen & Gary and Glen & Ross

From the producers of Must Love Jaws and Ten Things I Hate About Commandments.

Certainly works for me.

Tags: glengarry glen ross, al pacino, alec baldwin, jack lemmon, alan arkin, must love jaws, ten things I hate about commandments, parody, satire, college humor

Things Lost at the Game: A Culture Kills Comic

Yep. I am working blue. And I love it.

Tags: strip generator, flavored condoms, hello kitty, panties, foam finger, baseball cap, asian, wine coolers, culture kills comic

Renting expensive toys

In the New York Times, David Pogue reviews the Pleo -- a robotic dinosaur -- that didn't make it in time for the holiday season but has launched since then. If you want to see what the fuss is all about, click here. Pleo is cute, seemingly fun, cutting edge and expensive. Naturally I couldn't resist getting it for my 7 year old son for his birthday. It also satisfied the requirement: "No you can't have a pet, but this is just as good."

For David Pogue, it wasn't just as good. It was fun for maybe a day but then it could go back. He came up with the suggestion that such things should be available for rent rather than purchase.

And so here’s what I think the world needs: a new Web site called WornOffNovelty.com. You’d list an object that you want to own -- but for only a short time. Other people sign up, too, so that a chain of purchasing is set up in advance.

You buy the thing at full price. When you’re finished with it, maybe a couple of weeks later, the next guy buys it from you for 85 percent of the original price. Then he sells it to the third guy for 85 percent of that. And so on, until the last guy gets the hand-me-down Pleo for, say, $25. Everybody’s happy, and there’s not a bunch of closeted Pleos all over America.

He sees it as "eBay without the uncertainty." At Amazon, Pleo currently costs $289 (down from retail at $349). On eBay it looks like you can sell it for about US$250 (used but undamaged) which less transaction fees and shipping gets you to less than 85 percent of the price. So, given that eBay can't make this work, do we think there can be another way of doing the job?

For us, we won't be selling. My son love his Pleo -- "Diny" -- and treats it as a pet. It has its own little bed, he takes it for walks and he teaches it tricks. He gets the love (at least for an hour or so a day under a full charge) and we don't get the mess. It is also cheap as pets go. I hope it lasts.

Week 37: Pageant of the Transmundane

This week's winning entry is from Lady, That's My Skull. Blog Proprietor Sleestak spun a scenario about what might have happened if Captain America had remained frozen until today, and as a comic novice, well, it was still something I could understand.

And seeing as it has to do with a superhero, well, Pieman Homer makes his triumphant return to Culture Kills to celebrate this Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award. Huzzah!



Congrats Sleestak on your first win. Here is your badge.



The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: pageant of the transmundane, sleestak, lady that's my skull, captain america, pieman, homer simpson, frozen, polar bear, war hero, survival of the fittest, cryonics

OK, another one

First attempt at a visual blog post

This happened to us last week.

Compiere: Building a GWT interface for opensource ERP

By Dion Almaer, Google Developer Programs

The Compiere team is trying to make ERP easier. I had a chance to catch up with Gary Wu, Di Zhao and Chris Sprague of the Compiere engineering team. We talked about their recently shipped open source ERP solution that now includes a GWT-based rich internet interface.

Using GWT was natural for the developers and allowed them to create a highly productive web experience for Compiere users in just a few months of effort. Listen to the Compiere developers discuss their experiences with GWT and see a demo of the new Compiere Web user interface.

Something to Watch instead of Meet the Spartans

By now, I think we have all come to expect certain things when we watch videos online... there are going to be haters, there are going to be some absolutely bizarre and gross things we will never be able to unsee... and then, there will be mashup trailers, oh so many mashup trailers.

Now, I used to think that Pulp Fiction (with that running Eric Stoltz joke that gets funnier every time) and Star Wars were always going to be the leaders in this particular type of cinematic experiment.

And then came 300. There is just something fun about hearing that soundtrack and dialogue over scenes from another movie. To me, Anchorman 300 is the gold standard for this kind of thing, and ever since those stupid ads for Meet the Spartans have been showing, well, I've been indulging myself by watching a lot of mashups, because we all know that even at their worst, they are still likely better than that that steaming load of a spoof Hollywood is trying to foist on us.

So I thought I would present a few of the better mashups I found over these past few weeks. Here is basically how I judged them:

1) When a 300 character is talking, have a character in the footage doing the same thing.
2) I have to believe the narrative. The secret to a good mashup is you have to make me suspend my disbelief and see your vision for that particular movie. I mean, it is all well and good to put some footage together to try to present something transmundane, but if I can't buy it as a story, well, then I can't get behind it. For instance, someone put together a Big Trouble in Little China version, and there wasn't a thread to put it all together.
3) Style counts. 300 was all about style, and getting some of the little things right, well, it goes a long way to selling me on a mashup. That is the reason The Sandlot version didn't make the cut either. I want something a little grander.

Here's what made the cut:

300 Starship Troopers: See, this one just makes sense as both films have a mythic quality and deal with a battle against almost insurmountable odds. I think it works well in a semi serious way.

300 Star Wars: I had to include this because it is basically a meeting between two mashup kings. If I could find a Pulp Fiction/300 mashup that fit this particular style, it would have been here too. However, it isn't the strongest mashup on this list.

Monster Squad 300: To me, this one is shockingly good, because the movie that it is based on is sort of a kid's movie, and one that wasn't available for a long time... it recently was rereleased on DVD, so I may have to pick it up now.

Dawn of the 300 Dead: This one makes sense because both the movies involved are directed by Zack Snyder, which means that in many ways, the footage comes together well. And I think it also has the funniest Ving Rhames moment of the year.

Shaolin Soccer 300: A frenetic surreal movie about superhuman soccer players and a movie about 300 Spartan warriors... how could that ever work? Well, it does. It blew my mind.

Willow 300: Now, this is a good one... well, aside from the fact that a lot of the speaking parts are being played by Burglekutt, a classic movie jerk if there ever was one.

300 Privates: This one is sort of a cheat really, as it is a mashup of 300 and Forrest Gump/Saving Private Ryan. Of course, when you think of the two major battle scenes from SPR, well, I think it does fit together.

Kill Bill 300: Come on, I had to go with this. And I think it features one of the best believable Child's voice scenes out of them all, and the music is really in fitting with Kill Bill as well.

Tags: 300, mashup, pulp fiction, kill bill, saving private ryan, willow, shaolin soccer, monster squad, dawn of the dead, frank miller, zack snyder, ving rhames, anchorman, sandlot, meet the spartans, starship troopers, star wars, forrest gump

Heading to linux.conf.au?

By Marc Merlin, Software Engineer

Several folks from Google Sydney and beyond will be attending linux.conf.au 2008 in Melbourne, Australia next week and we're looking forward to sharing a week of FLOSS and fun with our fellow attendees. If you're heading to the conference, stop by our table at Open Day to learn more about Google's global open source initiatives. We'd also love to have any students, whether you're a local or just in town for the conference, join us on Thursday evening for our student party; several Google Summer of Code students and mentors have already let us know they'll be coming. You are, of course, welcome to join us at the Google conference wrap-up party on Friday evening. We'll be hosting a grand barbecue, with plenty of options for our vegetarian and vegan friends.

You may also be interested in these talks given by Googlers:

• Google, Open Source and Google Summer of Code, presented by Leslie Hawthorn
• OpenSSH, presented by Damien Miller
• Working around POSIX's faults: Improving the reliability of Linux named services (NSS) for large institutions, presented by Jamie Wilkinson and Vasilios Hoffmann

Anthony Baxter, Python's Release Engineer and a recent addition to Sydney's engineering team, will deliver Friday's opening Keynote, Two Snake Enter, One Snake Leave.

We hope to see you there!

Quick Bits

• The title of the new Bond movie has been announced, and what a mouthful it is: Quantum of Solace. Um, is it just me or does that sound like an entirely different kind of movie. I mean, I get what it means, and from reading a few articles about it, I know it was a title that Ian Fleming came up with, but really, it sounds like a lame 1990's softcore scifi movie... you know, something that Shannon Tweed would have been in... or maybe even something that Merchant Ivory would have put on the screen in their heyday with Helena Bonham Carter and Daniel Day-Lewis. But a James Bond movie titled that? It seems weird.


• Sony and Hewlett Packard have come to an agreement that will see the latter produce DVD titles on demand for customers from the former's back catalog. There is also inklings that the other studios may also get involved with this venture. Of course, I hope that the writers get there fair share of these new sales when the strike finally comes to an end.


• John Gibson has no soul and if I thought he also had balls, someone should repeatedly kick him in them for how he opened his radio show the night Heath Ledger died. Put it this way... there are a lot of people that I hate in the media, but if they died, I'd still have the respect not to, I don't know, make fun of the situation. I mean, it is simply ghoulish to do so, and to do it just hours after it had happened... it disgusts me as a human being.

Tags: heath ledger, john gibson, amoral, james bond, quantum of solace, sony, hp, hewlett packard, writer's strike, on demand, dvds, daniel craig, ian fleming

KDE 4.0 Release Event wrap-up

By Erica Baker, Open Source Team

I had the pleasure of helping out with the KDE 4.0 Release Event this past weekend. With attendees of all ages and backgrounds from around the world, the event was a huge success. In addition to a great coming out party for KDE 4.0, it was also the venue in which Trolltech announced it would adopt GPL 3 for Qt.

Thursday was 'un-conference' style with attendees organizing impromptu BOFs and breakout sessions. However, a lot of people spent a good portion of the day discovering who else was there, as many of the KDE developers and community members were meeting each other for the first time.

Friday was the big day with around 150 people and 2 dragons in attendance. Aaron Seigo's keynote was well received by KDE release parties going on simultaneously around the world, thanks to the video streaming magic of Franz Keferböck. Many other speakers graced the podium after Aaron, including the two Release Event Contest winners, Kyle Cunningham and Aron Stansvik. The day finished with cocktails and a special vintage provided by Celeste.

Things wrapped up on Saturday with a few more BOFs. Since we had all that A/V goodness going unused, many attendees took it upon themselves to give a presentation or two. The most popular one was the Amarok 2 talk given by Jeff Mitchell and Leo Franchi (both worked on Amarok as Google Summer of Code students).

All in all, everyone seemed to have a great time. Many thanks go to my co-conspirators Tiffany and Cat from the Open Source Team, and to Wade, Franz, Sebas, Troy and Jeff of KDE for their efforts in putting the event together. I hear that a similar event is in the works for next year. Here's hoping Aaron Seigo does karaoke at that one too.

Dr. Phil takes on XBox Live

A few days ago, I read a report at Eurogamer that Dr. Phil was going to take on racist bullies on XBox Live on his show. Well, tackle the issue of cyberbullying in general and discuss a particular case involving an African American gamer who was taunted with racial slurs and threatened while playing online.

Now to me, I compare this particular individual's appearance on the show to this: if someone told you that wading in a septic tank would fix a problem you are having, would you do it? I mean, there is a small chance that yes, whatever your problem was, wallowing in a big container full of effluence would perhaps remedy it, but even if it did, well, you'd still smell awful, and you'd probably be left with a bigger problem than when you first jumped in. And when you think of Dr. Phil, you certainly think of a huge part of the Xbox Live demographic, don't you?

Yes, the person in question does indeed have a problem, and I truly sympathize with what they are going through. But bringing Dr. Phil to be your advocate on this particular issue may seem like a good idea in the short term, but in the long term, well, it doesn't really help. It is like a bandaid solution, because over the course of that discussion, well, it turned out that this has been going on for years for him, so this isn't an isolated problem because, unbeknownst to me, it turns out that somehow anonymity plus voice chat abilities equals unfettered stupidity and highly inappropriate comments, and that is something that an internet veteran like myself is really unfamiliar with. I mean, what are you going to tell me next, that I can get pornography online too?

But the thing that stood out for me wasn't just that these sort of highly inflammatory racist comments were so common (as someone who isn't an Xbox owner, I suspected that yes it happened a noticeable amount, but from what I've read, it is a much bigger problem than I could have ever suspected). Alas, there is a kicker to all this. You see, the system that the crew at Microsoft have put into place allows for those who are, how shall I put this, troublesome to be disciplined... if people complain about their behavior. However, it appears that for quite a few players, they don't file complaints about these players, rather they simply mute them, which allows them to continue to be a menace to others.

So in essence, this particular individual shouldn't be mad at Microsoft, but rather his fellow players who are allowing this type of conduct to go unpunished because as a community, no one wants to put their foot down and report people who are acting in a manner that makes things less fun for everyone else. It isn't a matter of free speech, as it is a private network whose sole purpose in existing besides a purely financial one is so that people can have fun, and if that means reporting very abusive people, well, that is something that should be actively encouraged, and I don't think Dr. Phil is a good emissary for this particular message. Truth be told, I don't think he is a good emissary for any message really.

Tags: dr phil, xbox live, racism, intimidation, microsoft, foghorn leghorn, eurogamer, cowards, pornography, discipline, septic tank

Heath Ledger Dead at 28

I was sitting here writing a different entry when I happened to check my mail at Yahoo and discovered actor Heath Ledger had died. He was 28.

I had just been watching A Knight's Tale over the weekend, and I kept thinking he had so much more ahead of him in his career. After all, he was playing the Joker in The Dark Knight, and he did seem to choose some interesting projects and had worked with some really good directors, from Nolan and Ang Lee to Lasse Hallstrom and Terry Gilliam.

And I remember the first movie I saw him in, this little piece of Australian action noir called Two Hands, which he faced off against a crime boss played by Bryan Brown. And I saw him develop as an actor over the years, and I had hoped that he was going to become one of the great actors of his generation, especially after the last new movie I saw him in Candy, in which he played ironically enough, a heroin-addicted poet alongside Abbie Cornish, as the police are saying that drugs seem to have play a part in his death.

I know that with his death, The Dark Knight is going to become one of those iconic movies, like The Crow was for the posthumous Brandon Lee. There are some people whose deaths shock you, and this is one of those for me.



I'm not good at future planning. I don't plan at all. I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow. I don't have a day planner and I don't have a diary. I completely live in the now, not in the past, not in the future.

Sad days indeed.

Tags: heath ledger, dead, dark knight, the crow, brandon lee, two hands, brokeback mountain, ang lee, a knight's tale, candy, abbie cornish, lasse hallstrom, terry gilliam, brothers grimm

Remembering Clue

I've been a vocal proponent that in the right hands, video games could be made into good movies, though I didn't really have very much evidence to support this claim. Yet, whenever this line of discussion arises, I've always failed to remember that back in 1985, Paramount made the board game Clue into a movie, and ended up doing a more than serviceable job at that.

I mean, look at the casting of the six main characters: Christopher Lloyd as Professor Plum, Madeline Kahn as Mrs. White, Eileen Brennan as Mrs. Peacock, Martin Mull as Colonel Mustard, Lesley Anne Warren as Miss Scarlett and Michael McKean as Mr. Green. Having these six people just show up for a movie in 1985 was a good sign. And add to that the wondrously comic performance of Tim Curry as Wadsworth the Butler, as well as a story written in part by John Landis, and you have a great screwball comedy.

The movie recounts the story of the six game characters above on a particularly dark and stormy night at a country manner house, where they've been gathered under those oh so colorful pseudonyms by the promise that they would finally be able to confront their mutual blackmailer, their host, Mr. Boddy(Lee Ving). But when Mr. Boddy ends up dead after the lights go out, they are all suspects, and as the body count rises, the mystery of whodunit deepens.

Of course, with this cast, you know that even in the midst of all these murders, there are still a lot of jokes, innuendo and slapstick. And because the main cast is very good at what they do, the movie has really stood the test of time. Granted, it is set in the late 1950's, so that may also have something to do with it as well, but to me, it feels very much like it is a comedy from an era other than the 1980's.

And at the time the movie was released, the filmmakers also added a gimmick to the whole experience by filming three endings to the movie, and then distributing the film with those different endings during the winter of 1985, so if you liked the movie, you could see it again, and see the clues come together in another way. When the movie was released on video, they put all three endings together at the end of the movie, in a creative way, and as a package I think it came together very well. Apparently the DVD versions have a feature where you can start the movie and it will randomly choose one of the endings, so you can have a little bit of the theatrical experience.

All in all, if you haven't seen Clue, you should pick it up the next time you see it. And, I'll certainly have to remember it the next time the subject of game based films pops up.

Tags: clue, 1985, christopher lloyd, martin mull, tim curry, eileen brennan, madeline kahn, lesley ann warren, michael mckean, board game, video game, screwball comedy, mustard, peacock, scarlett, green, plum, john landis, lee ving, fear

Sunday Night Videos:The Candy/Jackson Show

Aside from both having worked with Eugene Levy in a comedic project or two, John Candy and Samuel L. Jackson have very little in common.

Still, it is great watching these two masters of particular schools of acting play off each other, even if it is completely fake.

Well, I certainly want a burger now, don't you? I can't believe only 15 people liked it at College Humor since mid-2006.

Tags: samuel l. jackson, john candy, college humor, the candy jackson show, animated, mashup, 2006, streeter

Deleted Scene from an Unnamed RPG: A Culture Kills Comic

Do I really need to say anything about this one? I think it speaks for itself, in all its disgusting glory.

Tags: culture kills comic, role playing game, slime king, knight, wet t-shirt contest, rpg, dragon warrior, honor code, strip generator

Week 36: Pageant of the Transmundane

Hello from the planet Mariglenn. And even though I am in a Galaxy far, far away, I still managed to pick a winner this week.

Now, there were a few things I saw this week that were vying for recognition, but in the end, it came down to my old friends embedded video and parody courtesy of Popped Culture.

Jeremy found an old sketch from the Muppet Show which riffs on the classic Francis Ford Coppola movie, The Godfather, with Kermit the Frog taking the place of the title character, thus becoming The Frogfather.

They don't make puppet related comedy they way they used to. I mean, take a look at the walls of the restaurant... now that is an inside joke for the adults who saw the movie in question. Well done everyone involved.

And since this is a Godfather related winning entry, well, I thought a little bit of Don Homer would be the most appropriate symbol for this victory. Thus, we have the dapper Don sampling some fresh donuts, much like Jeremy is once again sampling the savory delights of the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award.



Congratulations on win number 3 Jeremy.



Unfortunately, because his first win was in week 30 of last year, this third win does not qualify him for a Triple Crown just yet. However, another win before week 47 will get you that much coveted piece of hardware.

The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogosphere to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Tags: homer simpson, pageant of the transmundane, godfather, kermit the frog, frogfather, parody, fozzie bear, jeremy barker, popped culture, rogue galaxy, mariglenn

Saying you're sorry

In Slate, Emily Brazelon looks at the value of getting kids to apologise:

The other time I hear myself barking "Say you're sorry!" is when I'm with a friend and his or her kids, and one of my kids is being obnoxious, and I'm embarrassed. This one I can't really defend: It's a cheap way to signal that I, for one, have some manners; that I know my kids are being trolls and won't let them get away with it, at least not entirely. Forcing an apology is a lot easier than imposing a real punishment. So, it suits for small- to medium-sized infractions that I feel like I should address (or rather shouldn't be seen letting go). Especially, if I'm honest, toward the end of a long day.

Basically, she finds that for most things, it is the same as having adults apologise: it is a communication of someone's acknowledgement of a social wrong. The only difference with kids is that the communication is between parents rather than the wronger and wrongee.

That said, I am not sure if we are going to gather in a 'peace circle' and have our children discuss their feelings when they fight with each other. Not that there is anything wrong with that but it just isn't 'us.'

Instead, these school holidays whenever the inevitable fights between children emerged, I opted for a special 'joint' sending to the corner. This is the place in our house where children go for a time out. The usual rule is that there is no talking in the corner and no communication into and out of it except by the sentencing parent. However, with a 'joint' sending communication in the corner is allowed.

Initially, there was no such talking. Just two children sitting there with increasingly over-acting frowns of frustration, disgust and a vast array of annoyed emotions. Then eventually, the two of them realise their joint predicament and start to wonder what it was that put them there. Apparently, the triviality of it is not lost on them and they are soon giggling and plotting against their true enemy: me. The common cause resolves the conflict and harmony is restored. And the best part, I can do other things all the while. So zero parental effort/involvement equals the same outcome as a ton of parental effort/involvement. For the economist in me, the choice is a no-brainer.

Infomercials and Specialty Cable

I am a bit of an insomniac sometimes, so I was up around 3 AM last night, and when I am in that state, well, I generally start flicking around the dial, and I often stop on Canada's equivalent of the Cartoon Network, Teletoon...

...and they were showing an infomercial for the Magic Bullet.

Say what?

I'm sorry but really, if I tune into a station that is called Teletoon, should I not expect to see cartoons? I'm I wrong here? I mean, that is the mandate that they've gone on the air with. And I don't care that it was 3 in the morning. If you say that you are a network for animation, and you aren't providing that, well, you aren't doing your job.

Now, I am totally understanding when a local network does it... because there is no network programming that they are required to show, and well, usually they are smaller privately owned operations and don't have people or corporations with billions of dollars behind them, and they don't make the claim that they are in the business of showing you a particular type of programming. Oh, and I am not paying for the privilege of viewing their channel, how can I forget that little bit of information.

So when a specialty cable channel does it, well, I feel like I am getting gypped, because in general, they are part of a larger media conglomerate which set up that network with a specific audience in mind. I realize that the viewers of CNBC may buy a certain multi-celebrity endorsed skin cream if you show one of their infomercials, and that there are viewers of The Learning Channel who may buy miraculous knives on a Wednesday evening, but I still think that this practice is shady at best. As a subscriber, I have been sold a bill of goods that says that you show a certain kind of programming, and as a viewer, well, I am willing to accept a wide berth for what your definition of said programming is.

But when these stations show general infomercials, well, that is going a step too far. I'd still be a little irked if for example that program last night was for an anthology of old cartoons on DVD, but in my mind that would have been a little more acceptable, and I probably wouldn't be writing this today.

In my mind, infomercials and specialty cable channels should be mutually exclusive concepts, and never the twain shall meet. Well, except in the case of the shopping networks... because they are telling you exactly what you are getting, and that is real truth in advertising.

Tags: infomercial, specialty cable, networks, magic bullet, cnbc, teletoon, cartoon network, the learning channel, bbc, fox, nbc, abc, affiliates, cbs

It started with some swearing

Last night, I had started writing a post about how I've relaxed my former inhibitions about swearing here at Culture Kills and I was going to joke about how I was thinking about adding a fake product label that said "Now with 20% More Swearing".

And in doing so, I thought about why I limited my swearing in the past... because in real life and in my internal monologue, salty language is the norm. You see, when I joined BlogBurst, one piece of advice that was given was that if you wanted you work to be picked up by a member of the service, keeping swearing to a minimum helped your cause. But the thing was, I never noticed any of my articles getting picked up after about a year on the service.

So on a lark I decided to login to BlogBurst to confirm this... because surely, I would have noticed some traffic coming from such a referral.

And then I saw this.



Someone at Reuters picked up a couple of my entries... DAMN! And about the Writer's Strike no less.

Well, that certainly made me feel good, and it gives me hope for other people who have been waiting for their moment in the sun there as well.

Tags: reuters, blogburst, journeyman, writer's strike

Kevin Smith: Cheeky Bastard

I think the title says it all really. When Dogma came out in 1999, Kevin Smith decided to make a strange cameo, and it was caught on tape. And for the brief time he was on camera, it was gold.

Film at 11.

Tags: kevin smith, dogma, protests, 1999, new jersey, catholic church, cheeky bastard, news, creative marketing

iGoogle Themes API

By Jesse Shieh, Software Engineer

Recently, on a trip to Shanghai, I snapped a bunch of incredible street photos for my friends and family back home. When I logged into my iGoogle page and was greeted by my iGoogle theme, I suddenly wished I could create my own theme out of my Shanghai pictures and share it with my friends - wouldn't that be a great way to personalize iGoogle even further? It turns out that many of you have been asking for this feature for a while too, and we've listened to your requests. I'm excited to announce that after today's launch of the iGoogle Themes API, we can all get started on making and sharing our own themes.

Creating your own theme isn't rocket science. If you can create a webpage, then you can create a theme. There are only three steps involved: designing images for the header and footer, entering metadata and color information in an XML file, and submitting the theme. To find out more about the API, start with the developer guide. You can also take a look at the terrific example themes (shown below) built by designers Yves Behar, Mark Frauenfelder, Troy Lee, and John Maeda that showcase different parts of the API. These themes, along with themes you submit, will be available in the new themes directory for the millions of iGoogle users. So try it out and let us know what you think!

Earth-light by Yves Behar, founder of the San Francisco design studio fuseproject:



Adventures in Lollipopland by Mark Frauenfelder, writer, illustrator, co-founder of Boing Boing, and editor-in-chief of Make Magazine:



Supermoto Mayhem by Troy Lee, designer and founder of Troy Lee Designs:



Simplicity is Complex by John Maeda, graphic designer, artist, Associate Director of Research at the MIT Media Laboratory, and recently named as the next President of the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD):

Products I thought Americans had: Milk in a Bag

As you go through life, you have certain expectations, especially when you live next door to someone for a long time.

And then you find out your neighbor hasn't even heard of some of the stuff you are into, and well, it makes you a little disheartened really, like there is some vast cultural divide that you never knew about.

I mean, for 31 years, I thought you Americans had bags of milk.



I just took it for granted that everyone could go out and buy a gallon of a dairy product in a bag; a bag which contained 3 smaller airtight bags you take out individually as needed and slip into a special pitcher available at any supermarket, department store or generally wherever milk is sold, and then cut the corner off said bag, allowing one access to fresh milk. A fellow Canadian/Ontarian demonstrates the procedure.

To someone that hasn't seen it, I know it sounds bizarre, but I've used all three of the major milk distribution systems, and I have to tell you, it does has some distinct advantages.

I understand the advantages of buying a gallon of milk when you go shopping, but to me, I'd rather use that milk as I need it rather than lugging around that whole big jug of it every time I need a little milk in my coffee or if I was baking. And while I am using one bag of milk, the other two sit in the fridge, staying fresh and cold until needed. And because they are sealed, I can just lay them on the bottom shelf of the fridge until that time arrives. And as a delivery system, it uses far less plastic than a jug.

And I have to say, the milk tastes better than it does from a jug or carton. I just does.

To me, the bag of milk is much in keeping with something that seems very American in the dairy section: the 4 butter stick pound. More Canadian dairy companies should get on board with that little slice of genius. And I have to say, I think some Americans would probably like what bagged milk has to offer.

Tags: milk, jugs, bags, cartons, canada, sticks of butter, dairy, international oddities, plastic, gallon of milk

Wednesday in San Francisco: OpenSocial Hackathon at Six Apart

By Dan Peterson, Product Manager

On Wednesday (tomorrow!) Six Apart will be hosting an OpenSocial Hackathon at their office in San Francisco to let people get their hands dirty with OpenSocial, Shindig, and Caja. In addition to the Googlers working on OpenSocial, you'll be able to chat with engineers from at least hi5, MySpace, Oracle, Orkut, and Plaxo. The event starts at 4pm PST and will be going deep into the night -- so it's okay if you can't make it right on time. The office is conveniently located near Macworld, not to mention Caltrain, BART, and MUNI.

We'd love it if you could RSVP on Upcoming, though it isn't formally required. Be sure to bring your laptop and perhaps a few friends.

Of course, there will be copious beer and pizza.

The End of the World is Nigh

Oh Lordy, I just read some terrible news.

Oprah Winfrey is getting her own network. I mean, literally, it is going to be called the Oprah Winfrey Network... her OWN channel.



Soon we will be drowning in Dr. Phil platitudes and self-indulgent home redesign shows made with the express purpose of making herself feel better.

And what are we losing in this exchange? Discovery Health, which I admit is a channel I don't watch, but I can see how that one may have had greater value to the world than the OWN channel.

So there has to be something else going on here... part of me thinks that Ted Turner is making a bid for world media domination using an Oprah puppet and the few million he has left and that soon, Rosie O'Donnell and Bill O'Reilly will have their own stations as well and Turner can turn them all against each other and take over the smoking remains of the firestorm such a move would result from those two elements competing. Of course, it would be fun watching the end of the world happen via giant headed pundits and comediennes doing battle in the streets like movie monsters.

And in the end, to quote Helen Lovejoy, who will think of the children?

Tags: oprah winfrey, dr. phil, own channel, discovery health, bill o'reilly, foghorn leghorn, rosie o'donnell, godzilla, ted turner, helen lovejoy