The End of the World is Nigh

Oh Lordy, I just read some terrible news.

Oprah Winfrey is getting her own network. I mean, literally, it is going to be called the Oprah Winfrey Network... her OWN channel.



Soon we will be drowning in Dr. Phil platitudes and self-indulgent home redesign shows made with the express purpose of making herself feel better.

And what are we losing in this exchange? Discovery Health, which I admit is a channel I don't watch, but I can see how that one may have had greater value to the world than the OWN channel.

So there has to be something else going on here... part of me thinks that Ted Turner is making a bid for world media domination using an Oprah puppet and the few million he has left and that soon, Rosie O'Donnell and Bill O'Reilly will have their own stations as well and Turner can turn them all against each other and take over the smoking remains of the firestorm such a move would result from those two elements competing. Of course, it would be fun watching the end of the world happen via giant headed pundits and comediennes doing battle in the streets like movie monsters.

And in the end, to quote Helen Lovejoy, who will think of the children?

Tags: oprah winfrey, dr. phil, own channel, discovery health, bill o'reilly, foghorn leghorn, rosie o'donnell, godzilla, ted turner, helen lovejoy