I was working valet at the mansion. We used to park the nicer cars in the roundabout just for show. At 2 AM Jack comes out with a tall blond girl. She couldn't have been a day over 25 and they start going at it on top of a 1952 Jaguar Roadster. It wasn’t the kissy-kissy stuff either. They were both drunk. I'm watching this when the owner of the Jag walks up to me. It was James Caan. I thought he was going to kill me for allowing this to happen. Caan was a nice guy but he had a temper. I said, "Mr. Caan, Shall I go fetch your car." James Caan looked at me and said, "Son, you don't take meat away from a lion when it's eating. I'll be in the kitchen."
To me, this anecdote has so many little angles that make it appealing to me. I love James Caan and the fact that when confronted with Nicholson having sloppy drunken sex on his vintage automobile, he made a quip and just let it slide. Part of me wonders if there was an awkward meeting after that between the two actors where Nicholson felt compelled to give his peer an apology and 200 dollars for the love stains, or if they both just tried to ignore that the whole thing happened. Or perhaps an intriguing third option, involving Caan having carte blanche to do the same on Nicholson's car some day.
It also makes me wonder how that scenario would have played out if the principals were different. I mean, would Caan have acted the same way if it was Randy Quaid making out on the hood of his Jag, or what if someone like Russell Crowe was the one who found out that Nicholson was making out out the hood of his car. Or what if it was Cher and Madonna in this anecdote. The possibilities are endless really.
And I have a new phrase to trot out during those times when you are considering stopping someone from doing something: You don't take the meat away from a lion when it's eating.
I think it has some style.
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