Help Me... My Brain is being Eaten by an Earworm

For years, I've been able to avoid the dreaded menace of the earworm. I had a set of countermeasures which effectively prevented such a song from becoming embedded in my consciousness, so I was able to get on with life without the annoyance and distraction of a tune stuck in my mental craw.

But I've been beaten. A song has finally defeated those countermeasures.

I was setting up some training sessions for my team in FIFA 08, when a particular song from the game's soundtrack came on and just totally took hold in my brain. Well, the chorus did at least.

That song, which has become a rather unwelcome guest in my head that just won't leave is Bum Like You by Robyn. Click with caution.

And I understand why this has happened. The chorus line is repeated twice, and the way the music is written, it lends itself to looping. And there are three prominent notes in a pause between the lyrics that perfectly lend themselves as a hook.

For the past 48 hours, this little trojan horse of a piece of music has been sacking the inner fortress of my mind. Just when I think it is gone, it pops up again and torments me... especially when it is quiet. I am trying to read a history of soccer called The Ball is Round, and because there is no other aural stimulus, that little snatch of music just keeps repeating over and over.

How bad is this infestation? It isn't just tormenting me in the day... it has crossed the line and started appearing in my dreams too. It was at that moment that I realized I had a war on my hands, and it was going to be ugly.

So far that little ditty by Robyn has defeated The theme to The Wide World of Sports, which like napalm would sanitize almost any other song out of my head. Tin There by Underworld which makes me completely zone out, almost worked, but 10 minutes later, that chorus suddenly reappears. I've tried 20 other songs, but none of them have done the job.

This thing is getting so bad I tried to beat this earworm by pitting it against Banana Phone and Badger Badger Badger ... and it just laughed it off. Literally, I was listening to Banana Phone, and in the background, I could still hear the chorus of Bum Like You.

I could cry... it just won't stop.

I am trying Maim That Tune, now, and it isn't working. I need some help here. I am also about to attempt jamming the theme from the BBC children's series The Magic Roundabout into my ears to see if it will kill this earworm. Wish me Luck, and I am willing to take suggestions for songs that you think can defeat this pesky tune.

Tags: earworm, banana phone, robyn, bum like you, magic roundabout, wide world of sports, badger badger, maim that tune, bbc, tin there, underworld, the ball is round, goldblatt, fifa 08, music, maim that tune, spaced