Australia scares the Bejesus out of me.

I recently came across an article on Cracked which looked at the dangers of Australian wildlife and insects.

It is like they took every deadly and dangerous planet in the movies and just stuffed them into one continent. True story, Captain Kirk stranded Khan not on Ceti Alpha 5, but in the Outback.

Compared with Australia, I live in a Disney cartoon.

I mean, the only wildlife I am sharing this neighborhood with are, let's see, squirrels, rabbits, foxes, skunks, possums, raccoons, ducks, geese, bluebirds, cardinals, robins... you know, the usual pantheon of cute and sometimes annoying animals. I am sure there are chipmunks somewhere around here too.

Yes, I have to occasionally deal with a skunk spraying my dog, but nothing is actively trying to kill me on a daily basis, despite what that crazy dude at the coffee shop down the street keeps saying about the squirrels conspiring to seize the supermarkets so that the precious nut supply can be theirs. I am sure I would look at things differently if we were having Night of the Lepus rabbit problems or the geese around here, while being a little bit agressive, had poison claws on their webbed feet or venomous bites.

So Kudos to you Australians. You are living in God's country... if he was a vindictive murderous bastard AKA Old Testament God.

Tags: australia, disney movie, wrath of khan, god's country, geese, chipmunks, possums, skunks, outback, cracked, ceti alpha five