Alpha Mail: more sexlessness

FE wants to know how long is long enough? 

"Sex is not the entirety of marriage, but it is a foundation and a necessary aspect of it.  A sexless marriage is intrinsically oxymoronic and cannot be expected to last without an amount of external support."

So how long?

Another (recent) reader seeking your opinion.  I married a 34 yo virgin three years ago.  I am x years older.  Sex was down to twice a week within a year.  Stopped completely [two years] into the marriage.  Now she has decided that I am not allowed to even *touch* her without asking permission.  She says that I frighten her -- even while acknowledging that I have never been violent, never been verbally abusive, never even raised my voice in anger.  Her main complaints are that I am a poor listener (past girlfriends would say I'm pretty good, for a guy) and that I turned to porn when I was unsatisfied sexually (guilty as charged -- and I've since made much progress in giving it up).

It's now been 8 months with the no sex.  Our Christian counselor is perplexed as to why I have a problem with having to ask for permission before rubbing her back, stroking her neck, or giving her a peck.

So how long?

Legally, one year.  Realistically, I think the marriage was over the moment she announced that her husband could not touch her without asking permission.  If that's the case, then the marriage obviously does not exist because the husband has no more marital rights than anyone else on the planet.  A woman like this has issues that have nothing to do with her husband; whatever is going on inside her head may not be her fault, but the reality is that she is no more mentally fit to be married than a woman with an IQ of 30.

Any woman who is genuinely frightened of a man who has never so much as lifted his voice is psychologically screwed up in ways that the average man cannot possibly understand, let alone fix.  And any woman who carries on her play-acting to this extent when she isn't genuinely frightened is a psychopath of whom the average man should be more than a little frightened himself.  She's the sort who will kill her husband in his sleep and claim self-defense.