Sometimes when you know something is going to be painful, when you know it's going to hurt, when you know it is inevitable, it's best to just rip off the band-aid and let it burn. It's based on that principle that news of Big Ben maybe/possibly/we'll-see needing foot surgery is good news.
If Ben Roethlisberger has proven one thing during his tenure in the NFL, it's that you hope he's never your son or brother-in-law. If he's proven a second thing, it's that every off season, without fail, he will be a source of a Shakespearean drama that will last the entire season. So the news that his foot hurts and may or may not need surgery is fantastic because rather than wait throughout the summer for the inevitable Ben Drama Shoe to drop, we know what the story is going to be. It's painful for us, and it hurts, but ripping the band-aid off and exposing it early in the summer is doing us all a favor.
How will this all play out? Let's ask fake Ben:
Yeah, well, I mean it really hurts. It hurt pretty much all season last year, you know, that season that I escaped all those sacks and led the team to the Super Bowl. I remember one time Terrel Suggs was pulling on me and my foot hurt so so bad, so bad that I thought it could end my career if I kept playing, but somehow I reached inside and found something in my heart to shake him off and complete a TD pass. I've never felt pain like that and I don't think any human should ever feel that kind of pain. I don't know how I did it. Heart of a champion. Offensive line. Band of Brothers.
As for the surgery question, we'll see. I think I'm going to have to make a lot of wincing facial expressions during our first national TV game so that the fans, I mean, so that I can see how much it will affect me. I'll probably explain it to Suzy Kolber during an interview. We'll see what she thinks. Band of brothers.
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| "Hang on, wait til they're back from commercial." |
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