Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Culture Kills hits milestone: 300 posts

This is not a clip show. I repeat, this is not a clip show episode. That would be too easy for me, and I promised you all something better than that. I will link to a few things, but really, this is more the story of the story than me trying to sell a couple of my entries to get some more views. I am going to have a favorites section soon.

This blog has only existed for 222 days so far, so I am a little surprised to be writing this entry today. I mean, this is a milestone I didn't think I would reach when I started, let alone so fast, and with so little filler. I can admit that yes, there were posts which I didn't need to make, but I chose to anyway -- well, I didn't need to make any of them, but you know what I mean. For most of the things I've written, I still can't tell you what month I posted them them up because in reality, nearly every entry seems like I just wrote it last month. It feels like I just thanked all my loyal readers in October, but in reality, that was way back in July.

So, let's start this little jaunt with three famous words: in the beginning of this mammoth undertaking, I didn't know a lot of the things that would come up. I didn't know that I was going to be doing a comic every week, or that I was just going to decide one weekend to start giving out an award after hearing a particularly haunting rendition of the Divinyls "I Touch Myself". I had modest goals when I began... simply to enjoy the ride and leave my previous blog's baggage behind, and I did that in the most spectacular way possible.

I could also have never predicted that a little piece on Chinese food containers would end up being the most commented article I would write on this blog, or that I would lament about remakes as much as I have. And the fact that I finally feel secure enough to reveal my real name is another milestone for me.

Sure, I've tried a lot of different design elements, sidebar addons and different web programs, and yet in the end, I always come back to the most basic elements centering on what has been written. So it is that I bid a fond farewell to Cocomment, TornadoStream and all the others that had a place on my blog for a short time. You won't be forgotten... wait, yes you will. I had trouble remembering you just now. And yet, the plaid tartan has stayed. I bet you can all guess what my favorite color is by now eh? How long will the plaid stay? I don't know. That is a question I can't answer.

Sure, I jumped on a few bandwagons... like I got into the hype for Snakes on a Plane in a big way, and we all know how that turned out. OK, I admit it, I tanked that movie. I take full responsibility. I am sorry Mr. Jackson, I killed your movie by supporting it, and I am willing to take the asskicking you will probably want to administer at any time you wish to give it. Though by the same light, I am not sorry if that same brand of advocacy killed Smith. Maybe I should start going positive on the FCC and MPAA... and Jack Thompson too and make the world a better place.

Now do I have regrets? Of course I do. For starters, I wish I would have went with a cooler name. I mean, I had intended to only be Culture Kills... wait, I mean Cutlery until I found a better name, but I just couldn't come up with anything better and then I sort of, well, forgot that I was going to do that. Oops! But looking back now, I just think of the all the possibilities based on some of the things I've talked about:

B.A. Baracus says STFU with that Jibba Jabba!
85% Plagiarism free
Remake it and regret it
The Culture Warrior's foot and Anne Coulter's Ass: A wonderful combination
Everybody gets a cow!
The Young and the Transmundane
The Ego Trip of Ace Duel: Entertainment Commander

or I could have been smart and gone with Rantocracy... that could have worked.

I also should have taken up Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on their offer to publish the first pictures of Suri for on the condition that I stopped badmouthing Scientology. Now that's a regret and a half. How was I to know they were going to be so sought after. Let's just say I won't make that mistake again. Of course, there are still so many more mistakes to make.

So, in closing, I want to thank everyone who has joined this little journey through the underbrush of the entertainment/pop cultural world. I couldn't have done it without you all. Mem-oor-iEEES....

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