Alpha Mail: why are the geek fallacies wrong?

Some Dude is attempting to grok his gammatude in order to surmount it:

Being a geek/rabbit who would like to escape his nightmare, I saw that every single fallacy you wrote is something I believe in. In all truthfulness, I simply don't understand why they are false.

I believe you that they are false, because I can look at outcomes, what I feel is one thing, but how does it relate to the result?

So my question: could someone elaborate a little on WHY those are fallacies?

This is a fair challenge.  Let's look at each of the five fallacies. And keep in mind as we do that although I agree they are fallacies, this is not my list.

1. Ostracizers Are Evil

It is impossible to have a functioning group without an ostracism function. In Japan, they have a saying: "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down". Unless the group has the ability to ostracize, it has no ability to perform its primary role and establish its identity.  Now, this does not mean that ostracism is intrinsically good, only that it is a necessary tool and can be used for either good or evil.  Ostracizers, therefore, can themselves be good or evil. The irony, of course, is that no group ostracizes more instinctively or vehemently than low-SS geek groups of the sort we see at Whatever and in the present SFWA.

2. Friends Accept Me As I Am

Friends care about you and have your best interests in mind. This can be, but is not necessarily, synonymous with accepting you as you are. Also, since humans are dynamic beings, what you are changes over time and not necessarily in a good way. A true friend will not simply accept your incipient descent into depravity and depression because that is who you are, he will attempt to arrest it. Accepting you as you are is an excuse for inaction and indicative of indifference, not friendship. And substantive and legitimate criticism is one of the greatest gifts a friend can give you; who else cares enough to be honest with you?

3. Friendship Before All

Friendship is important. But friendships are transient, as they are heavily dependent upon time, place, interests, and maturity level. I was all but inseparable from several friends in high school and college, but I haven't had contact with them in literally decades. To put friendship before all is to remain in a state of developmental retardation. There is a season for everything, and friendships need to be allowed to go through their birth-death cycle just like everything else.

4. Friendship Is Transitive

It's not.  It's that simple. In high school, I had my jock friends and my geek friends... and none of them even met most of the girls I was dating. In college, I had my freshman year friends, my best friend, my independent friends, my Greek friends, my teammates, and my roommates.  There wasn't a whole lot of overlap between the groups. After college, there was the night club scene, the band, the dojo, and the workout crew.  Again, some overlap, but not a great deal.  Some of my friends liked each other, others might as well have been aliens from different planets speaking different languages as far as they were concerned.  If a pair of friends get along, great.  If not, it's no big deal.  So long as everyone is civil, it's fine.

5. Friends Do Everything Together

To the Sigma, this doesn't sound ridiculous, this sounds "we had better lock you up so you don't kill yourself trying to lick the lawnmower blade" insane.  Everyone needs their space. Everyone has divergent interests. Everyone will be close to different people at different times in their lives. The idea that friends must do everything together is fundamentally indicative of fairly severe social immaturity and a complete lack of observation.