A heartwarming tale

Dalrock's gentlemanly heart bleeds for one poor victim of insufficient "chivalry":

Somewhere in the world a woman is upset!  What are you as lazy men doing to fix this?

Sorry for being so harsh, but you men need to hear this.  I know I do.  For example, just the other day I was reading about a woman in London who was victimized by modern men’s useless laziness.  The article was titled Is there a man left under 40 who isn’t a rude, ignorant pig?  I don’t know about you but the title alone really hit home.  Now that I think about it, I really am a rude ignorant pig!  Why didn’t I even notice?  The author of the article is an incredible woman.  She is as sassy, strong, and independent as they come;  yet even she finds that men are letting her down.

Some time back she was doing her own strong and independent thing (I’m guessing on her way to a power meeting or preparing to write another article decrying traditional gender roles in marriage), when out of the blue her car thingy stopped working;  I think she said it was the doohickey or something.  Anyway, here she is, a strong independent woman, but this car thingy has made her upset!

    They could see my distress when I began ­peering under the bonnet.

Some of you men (I hate to use the term so loosely) need a remedial lesson in chivalry, so for those who need it spelled out a woman becoming upset is the universal signal that you need to swing into action right away.  Don’t feel too bad if you didn’t know this, because there were men right there on the scene who either didn’t know or shirked their obligation:

    Next to me was a building site full of men in fluoro ­jackets standing doing ­nothing.

I shouldn’t have to reiterate that she was upset while these men in flouro jackets were doing nothing.  This baffling inaction by London’s men left our heroine to take extreme measures, as she was reduced to calling for professional assistance:

    I got back in the car, and on my mobile phone to call the BMW breakdown ­service to get the vehicle recovered. I was in tears. Still no one ­bothered to help.

Thats right, she was in tears, yet those shameful men left her to the fate of calling BMW for service!

I have to admit, I am encouraged by the behavior of the modern Englishman with regards to the more equal sex.  Once, there was a day when men would have descended en masse and all but battled for the right to be of assistance to the strong, independent woman in distress.  These days, the younger generation doesn't even blink when it sees a woman in tears and acting up in a desperate attempt to get someone to solve her problem for her.  It is downright inspirational!

However, it's really not enough to simply ignore the more equal and, as we are informed by the British Prime Minister, the more talented, when they are reduced to a frantic puddle over the baffling task of dealing with an inoperative internal combustion engine.  In such cases, I should think that duty really demands pointing and laughing.

The Code of Modern Chivalry

1. I neither recognize nor serve the female imperative.
2. I will rigorously respect all female claims to equality and refrain from treating them any differently from a man in any way, shape, or form.
3. In the event I encounter a strong and independent woman crying in public, I will not conceal my amusement.