A request is not a test

Athol outlines the difference:

If I’m doing the morning routine with the kids, I bring Jennifer a cup of tea. I’m already making me coffee, we have a Keurig thingy so it only takes me a minute to make her something while I’m making my own. She always says thank you and actively enjoys the Act of Service. She also knows that all she needs to do once is say, “Where’s my tea?” in a snarky tone and she’ll get a whithering look and a big cup of make-your-own-fucking-tea.

Something to watch is whether or not small acts of service are also returned to you. I do nice things for Jennifer, but she also does many nice things back to me. For which I also say thank you.

If it’s all a one way flow of your energy into your partner… even if they are being nice and appreciative about it… that just means you’re doing everything they want for nothing but praise. Which is simply talk and not action. If they are performing actions for other people though… hmmm.

The fiery fervor of the convert often leads to overreaction, in Game as in religion or the conquest of an addiction.  For many men, the discovery of Game causes them to start seeing negative female behavior in everything, sometimes when it isn't even there.  For example, when Spacebunny is comfortably ensconced in front of the television and asks me if I'll pour her a glass of wine when I'm in the kitchen making myself a late night coffee, I don't react as if she's angrily demanding that I throw myself down into a puddle so she can walk over my back without getting her shoes wet.  Her request is a perfectly reasonable one and I am perfectly happy to grant it.

A reasonable rule of thumb is this:  If a woman is making a request of a man and it is the sort of request that you would normally grant if one of your close male friends was making it, it is not a test and should not be treated like one.  On the other hand, if a woman makes an uncivil demand of you, it may or may not be a test, but in either case, it is best treated with contempt and ignored.

The fact is that most women know, from a very early age, how to make themselves difficult to resist when they want something.  They flutter their eyelashes, make their eyes big, raise their voices, and say PLEEEEESE.  So, if a woman can't even bother to be civil, if she can't even bother to ask for something, she wants, that is a pretty reliable sign that something has gone awry in the relationship.